Posts by Amanda Jackson6

I mean, honestly, what even counts as "psychological traits" these days? Maybe personality doesn't have such a direct line to psychology anyway—it’s kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it? I don't even know anymore. You really managed to throw me for a loop there, 😁 but the thing is, the question was framed in a way where you don't necessarily have to stick strictly to psychology. It leans into those philosophical gray areas, too, so it's hard to stay within one single lane. Everything is just so interconnected... it feels a bit silly, really, that we even feel the need to box ourselves in with these arbitrary boundaries we've created. Everything gets split up into these neat little categories and subcategories, when in reality, it's all just one big, messy web.

mistybison said:I don't think I follow you. 🙂 If something is innate, then it’s written in the genes. That applies to physical traits, but psychological ones too. If we believe something is "given" to us, but it isn't coded in our DNA, then what else could it be—besides a soul? And once we start talking about that, we're drifting into the realm of faith.🤔

See, that’s where I have to push back on your point about how "if something is innate, it’s in the genes" applying to both physical and psychological traits. I just don't buy it—not entirely. Sure, physical stuff? Absolutely. But psychological traits... maybe. Like, if someone is naturally a happy person, their kids might have a predisposition toward that, right? Or maybe depression runs in the family? Fine, maybe. But when we talk about actual *character*—you know, whether someone is a hypocrite, greedy, funny, honest, or just a decent human being—I don't see that as a genetic blueprint. To me, that's character. And look, character doesn't necessarily have to mean "the soul"—that depends on your own beliefs, and honestly, we don't need to get bogged down in a theological debate here unless we want to go off on a tangent. Does that make even a little bit more sense?🙂

mistybison said:At this point, we’re drifting into "spirituality" territory rather than actual psychology. 😉 🙂

Which is exactly why I said—look, call it whatever you want—but I don't necessarily see character as a spiritual trait, even if someone who considers themselves deeply spiritual might try to claim it. It really just comes down to how you choose to look at things, I guess. 🙂

Amanda Jackson6 said:A person is like a lump of clay—they have these specific elements and ingredients that make them unique, and just as we shape clay, life shapes the individual.
But at its core, clay is just clay... shapeless, pure, simple...

So you're saying people start out as a blank slate? Just formless and simple? I don't know, it makes me think about babies—practically speaking, when they're just a month or two old, they all get basically the same amount of love and attention from their parents, yet there's always that gap in how they react or behave. One cries constantly, another doesn't cry at all. I even read somewhere—don't take this too literally, just an example—that you can almost predict certain personality traits based on how a baby reacts the first time they're put in a bath or something. Who knows? Anyway, I also know someone who had a genuinely rough childhood with terrible parents, yet grew up to be an incredibly kind and wonderful adult. We always talk about how environment affects us, right? Like, negative surroundings shouldn't necessarily create a negative person, though most people assume that's how it works. But to me, it feels like upbringing or environment isn't the deciding factor—it doesn't just mold someone into a set pattern. Character matters, sure, but the environment plays its part too. 🙂

Everyone's got their own take on things, I guess. It's hard to play the expert and decide who's actually right, so it doesn't really matter. Just my two cents.🙂

Maleficent said:Aren't you kind of contradicting yourself there? If we have something 'from birth,' then isn't that just 'genetic inheritance'? Or were you going somewhere else with that thought?

I don't think character is something passed down through DNA—no, I'm convinced every person is just a reflection of their own soul, or character, or whatever label you want to slap on it. When I said 'from birth,' I just meant it in the sense of when something starts to exist... I wasn't talking about genetics.

Galatea said:If someone actually lives by the principle of seeking pleasure, wouldn't logic dictate they should act decently? Think about it—if I'm kind to you, there's a much better shot that you'll be kind back to me. On the flip side, if I'm a total jerk to you, then you're probably going to be one to me... sure, there’s always that outlier where someone’s internal math is just completely flipped, but that’s a whole different conversation entirely...

I can't help but feel like we've got way more egoists out there than actual altruists—it's pretty depressing, really. People generally start with themselves, and if there happens to be any leftover energy or time, maybe they'll glance at someone else. That's why I think chasing pure pleasure usually leads straight to that selfish mindset. You're such a massive idealist, 😉.

I’ve been thinking about this—it feels like the most significant role in life is played by whatever we’re just born with, right? Like, our baseline. Everyone else spends their whole lives trying to push their environment forward, while genes seem like they matter the least, if they even matter at all. I still leave some room for other factors, though... I guess I don't really know what else could possibly have that much pull over us.

redviper113 said:I haven't read those specific ones. I've mostly stuck to stuff about mind power, spiritual strength, and following your heart.
I'm interested in books along those lines.
Could you give me a little more info on the author and the book?
Thanks!

Honestly, I don't know a ton—I did pick up her "You Can Heal Your Life," and I think it's worth a read regardless, though I guess you have to stumble upon the right book at just the right moment for it to actually click. But, hey, since you're asking, maybe you're already in that headspace. 🙂 I know she had a rough childhood and managed to pull herself through all that mess just by using positive thinking, visualization, and all that jazz. There's a whole library of stuff out there on the subject, but Louise Hay is probably the big name everyone knows. Maybe I'll dig around a bit and get back to you with some actual thoughts. Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of other folks on this forum who know their way around this stuff.
I once had this moment where, thanks to some forced optimism—which felt a bit fake at the time—I hit this weird streak of inexplicable luck and peace. 😎 It didn't last longer than a week, but hey, it's worth a shot. 🙂
The main idea is how your subconscious basically takes everything you tell it as gospel, so you really shouldn't be constantly telling yourself things like, "I'm so stupid," or "I'm such a klutz." Better to just push back against those thoughts—even if you don't fully believe the positive stuff yet—because eventually, your brain starts listening...

redviper113 said:Yeah, I definitely agree that "knowledge is power."
I’m trying to stay on top of things—learning languages, finishing up my degree... I'm 23. I just hope this constant anxiety fades as I get older and that I eventually start feeling more solid in my own skin. It’s exhausting, honestly, constantly overthinking every little thing.
There are days where I feel totally chill about everything, and then there are those other days where... ugh... everything just feels off.

Whatever, just be brave.😉 You can't really get anywhere without putting in the work, and let's be real—changing yourself is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. But hey, it's the only way forward. It all comes down to that mental loop you run in your head—your subconscious listens to whatever movie you're playing on repeat, so I'd suggest telling yourself something like "every day, in every way, I am getting better and better" or some similar mantra. 😉 Might actually work, right? Nothing to lose. Besides, you could always pick up some Louise Hay if you're interested... she talks about this stuff quite a bit.

Hey there.
I totally get you—honestly, I feel pretty much the same way most of the time. But look, if there's one thing I've picked up, it's that you shouldn't try to build an identity based on what everyone else thinks of you. Instead, you need to develop your own perspective first and then just project that out to the world. Your internal sense of self has to be "on that level" if you want other people to actually see you that way. Unfortunately, we’re usually dealing with deep-seated complexes and a lack of confidence here. What might actually help is just convincing yourself—slowly, at first—that you're "competent" compared to the people who make you feel anxious. You can chip away at that fear by finding something you actually care about, getting informed, and basically using knowledge to offset that dread. It sounds almost cliché, I know, but seriously—engage with the world around you. Don't let yourself get mentally lazy. Find a niche where you can become the expert, because I truly believe that kind of mastery can give you a much needed boost in self-belief. "Knowledge is power," 😉 or whatever they say. Personally, I think too many people struggle with that old adage, but in this day and age, information isn't some exclusive privilege anymore; it's more like a basic necessity.
And just to be clear, I'm talking about using knowledge to improve how you view yourself, not to go around flaunting it in people's faces—don't take that the wrong way. But if you gain that inner confidence, you'll find you spend way less time obsessing over what others are doing. You've got to find the sweet spot. Right now, you're at one extreme of self-awareness—insecure—and the other extreme is being completely full of yourself. Maybe try helping yourself lean a little more toward the latter? Just a thought, and I could be totally wrong. 😕 Plus, it really depends on where you are in life—maybe it doesn't even matter if you've already settled into a career, or a marriage, or have kids, blah blah blah. Who knows. 🙂