granitetrucker7 said:Please help—has anyone dealt with something similar?
My daughter is 15. She’s always been withdrawn—ever since middle school—which made her a target for bullying. They mocked her, treated her like she was stupid, and just picked on her. We told her to stand her ground, to fight back, even tried intimidating the bullies when we found out they were isolating her or making fun of her right in front of teachers. Of course, the school counselors did absolutely nothing. Eventually, we moved her to a different middle school in another district to give her a fresh start. It seemed fine at first, but then word got around via social media about how "weird" she was, and the isolation started all over again. Then high school happened, and things took a much darker turn. We're talking full-blown panic attacks, being unable to stand up in class, sneaking out of the house through her bedroom window just to avoid seeing anyone, and staying in her room all day—only coming out to grab food from a convenience store. She missed several months of school entirely. We went through the whole gauntlet: psychologists, psychiatrists, group therapy... now she’s struggling with an eating disorder and some intense OCD tendencies. It’s bizarre. She can’t touch her own lips; she’s obsessed with cleanliness, yet simultaneously leaves a mess everywhere. Her eating habits are ritualistic—she eats only one specific type of food, sits in front of a bathroom mirror to watch herself eat while avoiding touching her lips, uses plastic utensils, and is hyper-vigilant about pulling wrappers away from her face so she doesn't touch them. When she showers, it’s like she won't wash her whole face; she’ll get soap near her mouth but won't use her hands to rinse it, opting for Q-tips instead. She won't drink water—only bottled juices (mostly iced lemon tea with a "standard" cap), which she opens with extreme precision to avoid hand contact. Medication-wise, she started on Locten at 25mg, then 50mg, then 100mg. Her doctor then switched her to Seroquel, but she looked like a zombie—honestly, we both felt that way—so we stopped everything about 2–3 weeks ago. Currently, she’s on Zoloft (50mg in the morning) and Locten (25mg at night).
The doctor recommended Zoloft 2x50mg plus Seroquel 25mg at night.
So far, no improvement. She’s slightly calmer, but the obsessions persist. We try to accommodate every single one of her needs—making multiple trips to the store daily for specific juices, snacks, or yogurt just to keep her stable. The whole family is under massive stress; she was always such a sweet, albeit quiet, girl. She’s actually passed thirteen exams for her diploma, with only two left, but frankly, school doesn't matter right now. We just want her to be okay. She’d change her entire career path just to avoid being in a classroom with her current peers, but she’s lost; she doesn't seem capable of functioning in an academic setting at all right now.
She eats once a day—usually chicken medallions or croquettes with a liter of yogurt. In the afternoon, she asks for "liquid," so we run out to find a specific juice with a lid she can open carefully, maybe grabbing a candy bar along the way. Most of her day is spent in her room listening to music or watching TV. For a while, she was completely obsessed with a certain singer—she couldn't process his passing. She still loves his music, though that obsession has dialed down a bit. At one point, she even wanted to fly out to visit his grave.
Essentially, she feels "disgusting"—especially if she touches something with her hands, let alone her own lips. She’s lost 22 pounds (dropped from 155 to 132 lbs at 5'6"), and now her weight has plateaued.
How do we move forward? We joined another support forum hoping to hear from people who have walked this same path.
🤷
Ah, severe anxiety, obsessive-compulsive...
First off, you really have to distinguish between OCD and an obsessive personality. It isn't a hard rule, but it happens quite often.
When someone with obsessive personality traits hits a breaking point, the result usually manifests as depression, paranoia, or even physical illnesses—not necessarily full-blown OCD.
See, an obsession primarily triggers this deep sense of unease or intense anxiety. It is essentially an unwanted mental intrusion.
Among the various types of obsessions (which isn't the focus here), her case involves obsessive fears. That's the "filth" aspect—the fear of contamination, germs, and things like that.
Still, it differs from a standard phobia because these thoughts persist even when the phobic stimulus or trigger isn't present.
To try and neutralize that fear, people perform actions that seem completely irrational. In her case, there is this profound lack of security; she can never truly feel certain that her hands are clean.
And that right there is the trigger for the compulsions—excessive hand washing or constant checking. She is trying to reclaim a sense of safety through these misguided and inappropriate actions.
The ritual.
In theory, it lessens that discomfort or stress.
The real struggle, though, is the diagnostic side: separating OCD from other disorders like phobias, psychosis, depression, and so on.
It is very similar to schizophrenia or mania; the symptoms overlap significantly. Ultimately, if left unmanaged, such a state can lead to complete social isolation from everyone.
Recently, we've seen real improvements in treating OCD by combining psychotherapy with medication.
Unfortunately, it is a chronic condition. Usually, the approach starts with medication to stabilize the situation slightly, and then you move into psychotherapy.
If the psychotherapy shows results, the medications are gradually tapered off.
Even though it is chronic, it can be managed effectively, and one can eventually move away from medication entirely.
In psychotherapy, everything is built upon behavioral methods—specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (you can look up CBT online...) or exposure therapy.
Specific tasks are assigned that she must follow (this requires the whole family to participate). The goal is to establish positive habits.
Secondly, there are response prevention techniques—essentially just working to reduce the rituals.
People with obsessive personalities are often literally consumed by details and rules, and they tend to insistently demand that others adapt to their specific way of doing things (as seems to be happening with you). They are frequently intolerant of others' feelings, prone to criticism, and can be quite stingy or rigid in how they communicate.
It isn't easy, but it is possible to return to a normal life rhythm and improve one's quality of life.
Chronic depression (dysthymia) is a common complication, along with major depression, hypochondria, and occasionally—though rarely—heart issues.
As for the medication, it gets a bit complicated.
In severe cases, doctors prescribe combinations of antipsychotics and antidepressants.
Antipsychotics don't work for everyone (for her, Seroquel is what's used), but nowadays there are various types of similar yet slightly different drugs (like Loquate, Q-pin, Quetiapine...).
Regarding antidepressants, you have Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (like Paroxetine, Seroxat, Sertraline, Zoloft, Citalopram, Lexapro, Prozac, Sarafem, Luvox, Fevarin, and many others...) as well as tricyclic antidepressants (like Anafranil).
What can I say... patience and time.