Posts by Kevin Nguyen3

Robin Lopez2 said:As I’ve already stated, I wasn't raised religious. For the forty years leading up to my first psychotic episode, I never even gave God a second thought. During those first two episodes, I don't know how or why religious themes suddenly started flooding my mind. Now, with therapy, I don't even dwell on faith or Bog; to me, it all feels like superstition. As far as I'm concerned, Bog doesn't exist unless proven otherwise.

Not me either.🙂
Look, I don't have psychosis, even if part of my treatment involves managing it. And honestly? I can't say I haven't had thoughts similar to yours. It happens, doesn't it? When people are hit with intense anxiety or those heavy, depressive episodes, thousands of different "exits" or ways out start swirling through the mind. One of those paths... one of those escapes... is turning your thoughts toward God.
I don't personally have the impression that such things will provide much help—though, of course, that’s purely my own subjective take. However, I do know that so many people—especially those struggling with PTSD—have frequently found a sense of peace for their souls through a belief in God.
Can we even find it in our hearts to blame them? Is it truly within our power to hold them accountable, or are we simply chasing shadows? Can we really justify such resentment?
No.
To anyone out there convinced that this actually works... I mean, let’s be honest here, isn't it all just a placebo effect? At least at first glance, we can see it for what it truly is: mere suggestion. Is it even possible to believe otherwise?
I play a high-stakes game of knowledge, you see? And I truly believe—no, I am certain—that the more you understand your "adversary," the better your chances of victory. In my case, that adversary isn't a person, but rather the various illnesses that plague us. Isn't it true? If you don't know what you're fighting, how can you possibly hope to win? Knowledge is the only weapon that matters!

@David Vaughn75.

Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head there—provided, of course, that they aren't currently undergoing treatment or caught up in those rather excessive, irrational phases. Or, heaven forbid, spiraling through one of those regressive episodes? It really does come down to that, doesn't it?
In every other stage of life, people are exactly like you, me, or anyone else for that matter. Is there truly any difference? Great scientists—the kind who actually change the course of history—they were often nothing more than total psychotics. It doesn't even matter what the context is, whether the outcome was positive or negative. It just is. Isn't that the truth?
Is reality even possible when you consider that psychiatry treats "freedom of thought" and "reality" as if they were one and the same? It’s a heavy thought, isn't it? To suggest that once you define what is real, you effectively strip away the individual's right to think otherwise? I find myself circling this idea constantly. If the medical establishment decides what constitutes a "correct" perception of the world, does true independence of mind even exist anymore? Or is freedom simply an illusion maintained only as long as your thoughts align with their version of the truth? It’s a chilling proposition, really. Truly chilling.😉

David Vaughn75 said:Look, "what is reality" is a philosophy question, not a scientific one. Like, someone could be convinced a demon is out to get them without being psychotic at all. I mean, good luck trying to prove demons don't exist, right?

The actual scientific question is whether that person still possesses freedom of thought.

Because a person in a psychotic state? They don't have that freedom anymore.

🙂
Look, we could easily occupy half this forum just debating the distinction between a philosophical worldview and a scientific one. But why? Is there any point in wasting our precious time on a topic that wasn't even meant for this discussion?
If it’s cloudy today and the weather is miserable, that is an objective, universally accepted reality based on verified data. It's a fact everyone agrees on.
However, if an individual's perception of those same weather patterns shifts drastically from the norm, then we aren't talking about the weather anymore—we are talking about a change in state, be it the soul or the brain, or perhaps an illness.
In other words, it's an altered state of perception. And oh, the causes can be endless!
Whether anyone can truly possess freedom of thought depends entirely on their current psychophysical state. A thought shouldn't be able to be imprisoned or restricted, right?
But yet again, we find ourselves circling back to the patients. It is possible, and frankly, it happens quite often.
It is well known that many forms of psychosis can be kept under some sort of control nowadays; you almost think through things on autopilot.
So, let's not overcomplicate things unnecessarily.
Once that happens, the actual way one thinks and forms opinions afterward... well, it no longer has anything to do with the illness itself.

David Vaughn75 said:Obsessing over things that aren't even happening isn't the core of psychosis

The real kicker—the actual heart of it—is that you physically *cannot* think about anything else besides your delusions, even if you’re screaming at yourself to stop. It doesn't matter how much you want to snap out of it; your brain just won't let you. You're stuck in this loop where you're convinced people are following you or bugging your phone, and there's no way out through willpower alone.

Taking an antipsychotic is what finally gives you back your freedom of thought—it lets you actually choose what to think about again.

Hmm, I am double-posting again. My apologies.🙄
But that isn't quite right; I never claimed that the "essence" of psychosis was merely "obsessing over unrealistic things," as you suggested.
Psychosis, in one form or another, is essentially an inability to perceive reality—or perhaps more accurately, a state where the brain can no longer (or struggles significantly to) test what is real? It is a total failure of reality testing.
Everything else that accompanies it? Well, those are just the known symptoms, the inevitable consequences of such a condition.
Take hallucinations, for instance—as mentioned above. When you, or anyone else, hears or senses (a smell, a sight... any sense at all) something that simply does not exist in the physical world.
Or consider paranoia. That deep-seated conviction—that absolute belief—in various persecutions, in the idea that someone is tracking your every move in every possible way.
In short, without listing them all now, there are many such consequences.
Regarding antipsychotics—you are correct there. They nullify all those distortions, which ultimately allows for a much more objective perspective on people, events, and circumstances.
Once you begin thinking this way, you develop a sense of self-confidence; it gives you the agency to express yourself with basic freedom, the right to say something to someone even if they might not want to hear it.
And that state of being? It can persist for a lifetime, providing a foundation that prevents the need for those terrible, recurring periods of regression.

William Evans10 Asks:
How is everyone doing? I truly hope you all are faring better than we are over here... we’ve certainly had a rough run lately. 👎

I am sitting here reading your post right now, and honestly, my mind is just racing with all sorts of thoughts! It’s one thing after another. Where is she currently? Which hospital is she staying in at the moment?🤷
Therapy, in general... and now that someone is actually hospitalized, the approach really ought to be—well, in my estimation, quite different. It stands to reason, doesn't it? When a patient is admitted to the hospital, the dosage or intensity of the treatment is typically ramped up. It’s a necessary phase! One must account for the body's period of adjustment and stabilization... it's all part of the process, isn't it?
Look, if you really think about it... psychology—in its broadest sense—is essentially one of those long-standing, unresolved contradictions that we just can't seem to shake. It’s such a strange beast, isn't it? It emerged directly from the roots of philosophy, yet here it is today, desperately attempting to apply scientific, empirical methods to solve what were once considered "ailments of the soul." How can one discipline bridge that gap? Is it even possible? It’s a fascinating, messy struggle between abstract thought and hard data.
And now... where has the soul gone?
Here we go again. Another endless debate. One group argues that the body is essentially "encircled by the soul," while the other insists that the soul lacks any physical nature whatsoever and simply cannot belong to a physical vessel. Is there ever an answer? Or are we just destined to circle this drain forever?😕
And then, inevitably, you encounter those third parties—those skeptics—who insist that the soul is nothing more than an evolutionary byproduct, a mere extension of cerebral processes manifesting in various biological forms. Is that really all there is to it? Just a trick played by our neurons as they dance through different stages of development? It seems such a reductive way to view the complexity of existence, doesn't it?
So, you—much like that endless parade of doctors I see on TV—are suddenly acting as if you possess all the answers. Are we meant to just sit back and nod along now? Truly, do you expect us to follow your lead without question?
Oh, I just saw that on Ribbon. My mistake. Truly, my deepest apologies.
Right now, things are actually at their best for her—and honestly, it’s the only viable solution she has left. Everything there is under strict control. You see, even the slightest shift, any tiny change whatsoever, manifests itself in all sorts of ways, and the medical staff? Well, despite what some people might think, they absolutely see it. They notice everything.
It will simply take some time—quite a bit of time, actually—to arrive at a truly precise diagnosis. We have to observe her specific behaviors and monitor how she responds to the medication, that "echo" effect if you will, before we can know for sure. How else could we possibly reach a definitive conclusion? One cannot rush the process of understanding such complexities.
Will medication therapy be significantly more effective once the patient reaches a point where they can communicate somewhat normally? Is that not the case? It seems essential that they first achieve that level of stability before we even consider transitioning into other therapeutic modalities—you know, things like individual counseling, group sessions, or perhaps occupational and rehabilitative therapies. One cannot simply rush the process, can one? We must wait until they are truly ready for those next steps.
Please, have some patience. This isn't her first time dealing with this, and it’s certainly not because she’s been struck by some strange, extraterrestrial virus. No, it's much more grounded than that. One needs strength, a fierce will, steady nerves, and—most importantly—hope. Psychosis can be an incredibly difficult thing to diagnose accurately sometimes, can't it? But when it is caught, and managed with enough diligence, it can be kept under control quite successfully.
Just a little more time, and everything will somehow become acceptable to everyone. Isn't that just the way it goes? We wait, we hope, and eventually, the world settles into its own version of "fine." It’s all just a matter of patience, really.
The hallucinations... they constructed an entire reality for her, you see? A complete fabrication! And while she did manage to claw her way back out of that fog relatively quickly—thanks to the medication, naturally—she was left staring into this profound, hollow emptiness. It’s quite unsettling, isn't it? To emerge from such a distorted world only to find yourself adrift in a void, utterly uncertain of where you are or even why you exist in the first place.
Is it even possible to imagine a time when we couldn't find a remedy for this? Honestly, everything... absolutely everything... is treatable these days. Isn't that just incredible? We live in an era where medical science seems to have an answer for every ailment. It really makes you wonder, doesn't it? Where does it end?😉

Robin Lopez2 said:During my second psychotic episode, I was convinced God was broadcasting messages on a specific frequency. I truly believed I was the first person to ever tune into it, and that I actually had the power to alter it. In my mind, I’d reached enlightenment. I thought if I changed that frequency, everyone else claiming to hear from God would suddenly be cut off, so I decided to leave things alone to avoid causing more harm than good.

I eventually worked through those delusions by realizing, through therapy, that my thoughts were nothing more than complete nonsense.

Which part am I supposed to validate here? The first part or the second?🙂
Fine, I will concede this much: enlightenment is a deeply personal thing. It is about perceiving reality in whatever way we choose, and we certainly have the right to our own perceptions.
But there is a massive catch when dealing with psychosis; it stops being just a personal matter and becomes the responsibility of your attending physician.
Honestly, I would love to meet just one person who claims to communicate with God in a way that wasn't already decided by the council in Nice back in 325 AD. And why on earth do you think people would lose their connection just because you decided to change the frequency?
Besides, everyone operates on their own frequency anyway, don't they?
Ultimately, hallucinations are just one way reality becomes slightly skewed. It happens when your perception—or anyone's perception—simply fails to align with the reality of the environment, or rather, the reality shared by the majority.
I find it fascinating when things are documented; it’s possible during certain phases of psychosis, though the struggle is that during lucid periods, it can be incredibly difficult for someone to distinguish current reality from past events. They often drift back into "their" version of reality, which frequently has very little to do with the "here and now."
What is your actual stance regarding God? What is your subjective view, or more specifically, how do you personally communicate with the Divine?

Robin Lopez2 said:I think I was being a bit vague before. I wasn't raised in a religious household; I was just baptized and took communion, though I never did my confirmation. For forty years, I lived a completely secular life without any concept of faith. That changed when I hit my first psychotic episode—one where I genuinely believed I was Jesus. Later, after I stopped taking my medication, I had a second episode where I felt I actually possessed the power to shift the frequency through which people communicate with God. I chose not to change it, though, because if I had, the believers here on Earth would have been left wandering lost. I decided to leave things exactly as they were. It was thanks to my therapist that I finally managed to get back to the person I was before that first breakdown at age forty. Now, I can actually approach the ideas of faith and spirituality with a clear, realistic mind.

To be perfectly honest, I am struggling to wrap my head around this, though I suspect I grasp the general sentiment. But rather than me just guessing at your meaning, could you perhaps elaborate? What "frequency" are we talking about precisely? And what did you mean by the idea that "believers on Earth" would end up lost?
You seem to be speaking from a Christian perspective regarding a religion that, from our specific viewpoint, is massive and monumental, yet when viewed through the lens of all humanity, it’s almost negligible—or even non-existent in certain parts of the world.
So, I ask you: which believers, and in what part of the country?😕
In truth, I am inclined to believe this is all tied to some form of psychosis, so I would be genuinely interested to hear how you managed to resolve such... dilemmas.

Robin Lopez2 said:I meant that Rispolept helps me stop dwelling on religious questions or any kind of spirituality; it keeps me grounded in reality.

Maybe you need a little dose of Rispolept? It’s an antipsychotic designed to help you grasp reality more effectively. Not that it hands you "the truth" on a silver platter—because let's be honest, reality is entirely subjective to every single individual, isn't it? Take your own claim, for instance... that you don't dwell on matters of faith or spirituality. That is merely your perspective!
Why on earth wouldn't you give that some serious thought? And more importantly... what exactly is Rispolept *doing* there? What is the actual function? Is it truly providing value, or is it just noise? One really has to wonder about the specific mechanics at play!
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
While you’re taking that medication—and I truly hope you need it—you really ought to take a moment. You simply must. It is a time for introspection, isn't it? One should question everything and anything that crosses the mind! And what about the spiritual side of our nutrition? The very essence of what we consume internally? Every single human being possesses an inherent, fundamental right to believe in something, or perhaps, to believe in no one at all. Is that not the most basic liberty of all?
To truly grasp the profound depth of any faith... isn't that really the ultimate Holy Grail? Something we have been chasing in vain for centuries? To actually comprehend one's own relationship with God—or, more fundamentally, to understand exactly who it is you believe in... isn't that the most vital pursuit of all?
There are simply no taboos here! Honestly, why should there be? It feels like some sort of fabricated rule, a phantom restriction cooked up just to stifle free thought and keep people from thinking for themselves. Why would anyone invent such a thing? To forbid the freedom of the mind? No, thank you! There is no such thing in this country.
Be open, truly open—but please, for heaven's sake, stay wary of those who seek to criticize just for the sake of it, or worse, those who peddle nothing but self-serving misinformation! You must constantly work to sharpen your own intellect and bolster your understanding. Isn't that the goal? To grow? I firmly believe that knowledge alone is the only way to confront any problem life throws our way. Without it, what are we left with? Nothing. Ignorance is a heavy burden; it drags you down into a pit of pure despair and anxiety. Why settle for confusion when you can pursue the truth? Knowledge is everything.

Robin Lopez2 said:My primary care physician is practically triggering a psychotic break, but my Rispolept prescription is keeping me grounded. See, my mom and I share the same doctor, and she loves to corner my mother to ask how "her son" is doing. When my mom tries to give her an update, the doctor just shrugs and says, "Who knows what God has in store for your son?" 😲 Honestly, she even went so far as to suggest I attend a spiritual retreat. 😲 It’s wild—it's like none of this is my fault; it's all just divine providence that I'm apparently too oblivious to understand. 😲

That doctor is truly something else. A complete expert, a real specialist... though, honestly, she’d probably be just as skilled at rolling up a perfect cinnamon roll at a local bakery!
Doctors aren't some kind of programmed robots, are they? They aren't. They’re just people—plain and simple. And like any other human being out there, they’re subject to all the same messiness and chaos that life throws at us. They deal with the same struggles, face the same symptoms, and feel the same weight as their patients do. But then, the institution steps in. The system grants them a title, a label... "Doctor." And suddenly, within our local community, they become something almost untouchable. Especially when you're just sitting there in a local family practice clinic, looking up at someone who seems elevated by a mere designation. Isn't it strange how a title can change everything?
"My Rispolept therapy is actually working against her..."???
What exactly does that even mean?😕

David Vaughn75 said:Look, having a low social status is definitely a risk factor that bumps up the odds of psychosis hitting, but it isn't the smoking gun. Everyone knows psychosis has a genetic component—it's that classic cocktail of DNA mixed with whatever kind of environment you're thrown into.

It serves as one of the triggers for disease progression. And really, when we talk about "environment," aren't we just talking about social circumstances? They mean the same thing here.
But, fine, I suppose I can agree with you on that point.🙂
That is what the literature states. Then again, there isn't a massive amount of definitive data out there, so what else is there to do besides essentially confirm what is already more or less accepted knowledge?😉

David Vaughn75 said:So what happens when science only treats the symptoms of psychosis instead of the actual cause—especially since we don't even know what the damn cause is yet?😢

Exactly.
There are certain indications—well, more like theories, really—that people are trying to prove through practical application: the idea that a patient's social standing plays a role in psychosis right from the onset and throughout their entire treatment process.
So, one of the potential causes (of which there are countless, mind you) might actually need to be sought within the realm of social psychology.
And goodness, that is a massive, complicated subject all on its own.

David Vaughn75 said:The real kicker is: can a patient in remission actually control themselves? Personally, I think they can, and if they can, they should absolutely own up to what they do.

Because psychosis isn't the whole person; there’s still our underlying nature underneath it all.

At its core, this issue has a very straightforward answer.
They can.
And why? Well, because if the regression hadn't already been treated, it wouldn't even be considered a regression in the first place, would it?
Every single course of treatment creates this specific type of anxiety within the psychotherapist, fueled by narcissism. This belief—this desperate striving—that "I" can achieve what someone else failed to do... it introduces a form of countertransference where the actual effectiveness is highly questionable. The treatment just stalls out. It fails to provide the patient with any meaningful motivation to move forward, regardless of the methods used.
Not every instance of psychosis is schizophrenia, and not every case of schizophrenia manifests as psychosis. Is that clear?
When it comes to diagnostics, we are essentially living in the Stone Age, and our approach to treatment is just as primitive... it’s basically "cure them or kill them."
We throw neuroleptics at the problem, yet the actual therapy itself is missing entirely. Sure, some attempts are being made to foster better understanding, but when you look at the big picture, treating psychosis in general remains a massive, looming question mark.

David Vaughn75 said:That isn't on you—you were doing all that while you were sick.

When you're dealing with psychosis, you just lose control over yourself.

When we discuss schizophrenia, there is this massive, looming question: who is actually responsible for what happens? It’s a heavy thought, isn't it? The reality is that in certain segments—those who remain more lucid or grounded—some people with schizophrenia still use their diagnosis as an alibi for everything they've done or intend to do.
It is not easy, nor is it simple, to focus on just one tiny slice of treatment or the state of these patients without writing entire books about it!
For instance, if we look at it broadly, the world experience for a neurotic person is essentially driven by fear, but for someone in a state of psychosis... well, it's something else entirely. It's almost like the difference between life and death itself.
Such a patient often places themselves in situations for which absolutely no one is prepared. These patients frequently exhibit a kind of negativity or a total void of communication—a complete lack of interaction—because, first, they don't have it, and second, they simply don't know what is expected of them. And isn't that, at its core, the heart of the problem?
Is it true that psychotic people cannot control themselves? Partially, yes. But through clinical practice, one might argue that it isn't entirely true either.
Any truly attentive therapist will strive to accept, to understand, and to attempt—in their own subjective way—to qualify the patient.
I would argue that in psychotic individuals, the emergence of transference, or perhaps what we might call "meaningfulness," is entirely possible.
The goal is to provide everyone with sufficient time and knowledge. During that preparatory phase of therapy, all that chaos, the incoherence, the frustrations, the terror, and the various forms of resistance and defense... the aim is to eventually use all of that as raw material. Through this, the therapist can extract—working in partnership with the patient, of course—some form of creative insight into understanding and healing. Naturally, when this happens, the therapist's ambitions grow. But in the feedback loop, there often aren't enough answers to validate those ambitions.
The therapist—the doctor—offers the psychotic patient a model of communication and tries to steer them toward a specific goal; this is where transference appears. But the patient resists! They want their own specific way of communicating (for example, a patient might insist on talking about flowers instead of discussing their mother, and so on).
In truth, the patient is placing themselves in a situation for which they are unprepared. And it is right here that we frequently encounter barriers to any further therapy.
Individual therapy for psychosis is arguably one of the most difficult forms of treatment in existence. Doctors say that anyone who hasn't tried treating such a patient doesn't understand the limitless "greed and insatiability" of a patient seeking to satisfy their own needs.

Jessica Fowler4 said:So, I guess I'll just... go ahead and open this one. It’s a specific topic, and honestly? It might end up being a permanent thing here.

I guess the whole point of this thread should be about those specific situations we keep running into over and over again... you know, those patterns that just become hardwired habits? Like, behaviors that basically end up sabotaging ourselves and just dragging down our overall quality of life. It’s that cycle where we keep doing the same thing, even when it hurts us, and I think it would be really helpful if we could talk about those self-defeating patterns.
And then there's all the attempts at analyzing everything... you know, the way the original poster tries to break it down, plus all those different takes from the other folks on the forum too. It's kind of a lot, I guess. Everyone's got their own way of interpreting things, maybe.
Welcome aboard! And please, I'm begging you... let's keep the advice concrete. I really mean that. Just, uh, no more of those super basic, tired clichés, okay? Please.

I feel like the core premise here is that everyone sharing their stories has already tried forcing themselves to act against their gut instinct, and it didn't work—which, honestly, makes total sense. Feelings are basically our compass. Sure, logic can jump to all sorts of conclusions, but without that internal compass, you just don't have any real certainty about what steps to actually take next. So, if you're going to offer advice like "just push through it" or "you can do this, just believe in yourself," please... maybe save that for a different thread. What we actually need are smart workarounds and actual strategies based on real psychology and neurology. In other words, could we please spare us the life gurus, the religious zealots, and those people who think they've "unlocked the secret to life" (mostly because they probably just have a manic level of dopamine running through their brains)? Let's stick to things that actually work.

I guess I'll just start by laying out a few different situations... maybe that's a good way to kick things off? Yeah, let's go with that.

Scenario 1... I guess? Just sort of staring at this first one. Maybe there's more coming later, who knows. Anyway, here we go.

So, I’m trying to sell my used car, right? And there’s this buyer who’s totally trying to haggle me down on the price. But honestly... I don't know, I just feel this massive, almost overwhelming urge to tell them absolutely everything that's wrong with it. Like, I can't help it. I feel like I have to list every single tiny flaw, and then—and this is the part where I probably go overboard—I start speculating about what might break next. I'll be sitting there like, "Okay, so the alternator might give out in six months, and that'll probably cost you like $800, and honestly, most mechanics at those local shops in Chicago just don't have a clue how to fix it properly anyway." It's kind of ridiculous, I guess. I just feel this need to be completely transparent, even if it makes me look crazy or ruins the deal. Maybe it's just how I am. I just want them to know everything.
I honestly don't feel like I have any way to actually convince a customer to buy a car. It would probably fall into that whole "self-advocacy" category—which, in my mind, is basically a zero out of ten. I don't try to sway their decision at all, really... I just stick to the hard facts, though I do it with absolutely zero enthusiasm or salesy persuasion. Because of that, when I'm negotiating, I find myself dropping the price much lower than I ever intended to. It happens a lot, actually. Overall, I just end up acting like I have this desperate need to please the buyer, even if it ends up hurting me in the long run. I guess that's just how I am.

I guess I should probably try to break this down... if I can even get my thoughts straight. It’s a bit much, honestly. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but there's just so much going on here. I mean, looking at the whole situation, it feels like we're missing the bigger picture somehow. Or maybe I am? I don't know. It’s hard to say for sure without more data, I suppose. Everything just feels sort of... scattered. Like, you look at one part and it makes sense, but then you pivot to the next thing and everything shifts again. It's a lot to process. Just my two cents, though. I'm just sitting here trying to make sense of it all.
I mean, I really wouldn't want my car dealer to hide all the flaws from me, you know? Like, if I were buying a used Ford or something, I’d want the full story. So, I guess... when I'm actually the one in the position of selling, I make sure to report everything. I just think it's better that way. Maybe it's just how I am, but yeah, I'd rather be upfront about the issues.
Look, as a buyer... I don't care. Honestly? I’m just completely indifferent to all that sales pitch nonsense. I don't need the fluff or the high-pressure tactics. I just want the facts. Plain and simple. I have this... I guess you could call it a total filter for all that extra noise. To me, being pushed into buying something through some clever persuasion feels like I'm basically insulting my own intelligence. It’s kind of degrading, if that makes sense? So, yeah—there's no way I could ever use those kinds of techniques myself if I were on the other side of the counter. Like, I just can't. I really couldn't do it.
When it comes to haggling... I don't know. I kind of feel like a cheapskate if someone tries to give me a better deal and I just, like, refuse to take it? It’s weird. Maybe I'm just being stingy, but honestly, it feels more like I'm just trying to avoid a confrontation. Like, I just want to keep things smooth and peaceful, you know? I guess I'm just conflict-avoidant. Or maybe I am actually just being tight. I can't tell.

So, I was thinking about that second situation again... you know, the one we were talking about earlier? I guess I’m still kind of chewing on it. It’s just one of those things where everything feels a bit unsettled, maybe? I don't know. It feels like there isn't really a clear way forward, or at least nothing feels super obvious right now. I might be overthinking it, though. Honestly, I probably am. But yeah, that second scenario... it's just weighing on my mind a little bit more than I expected it to.

It’s kind of a role reversal, isn't it? I’m out here trying to buy a used car, and I find myself being super careful about how I phrase things. I don't want to sound like I'm accusing the seller of trying to scam me or pull some fast one, you know? I mean, I’m sitting there, listening to them spin these long, elaborate tales—basically just selling me a bunch of hot air—and I'm just thinking to myself, *man, he's really laying it on thick.* But most of the time, I probably won't say anything. I’ll just politely nod along to their sales pitch, eat up whatever nonsense they're serving, and maybe—for some weird, inexplicable reason—actually end up buying the car despite all the fluff. I guess that's just how it goes.
I mean, I don't even have to say it, right? I’ve seriously messed up the ball so many times during different buy-sell deals... it's just one of those things, I guess.

So, here's my take on this... I really don't like it when customers grill me like I’m some kind of con artist, you know? And honestly, I don't do that to people when I'm out shopping either—not at all. I guess consciously buying overpriced junk just to avoid an argument is basically just conflict avoidance, IMO. Like, why bother? Also, when I buy stuff, it’s usually things I actually want, and man, I want them BADLY. I mean, I want them enough that I'll just totally ignore the insults to my intelligence from being sold garbage, and I'll probably ignore a crazy high price tag or even a flaw that I really shouldn't be overlooking. Maybe that's just how I am, I guess.
I mean, at the end of the day... making any kind of rational, realistic decision when you're dealing with this much internal pressure? It’s basically impossible. I guess it just doesn't work that way. Maybe it's just the situation, but honestly, it feels pretty much impossible to think straight under all that weight.

I guess I’m starting to see some real issues with my own internal wiring... like, there's this super intense, controlling conscience, right? And then there's this massive urge to avoid any kind of conflict at all costs. Combined with this huge, overwhelming surge of passion or desire... it just feels like it leads to such dysfunctional behavior. It really messes with my ability to actually assess things emotionally and objectively at the same time. I mean, don't get me wrong—I can analyze a situation rationally. I can see the logic perfectly fine. But if I don't have that gut feeling, that underlying emotion telling me the assessment is actually *right*... I just can't bring myself to act on what my brain knows is the logical conclusion. Because, you know, feelings are what actually drive us. Without that connection, I feel like I have this real deficit when it comes to making decisions that are actually grounded in reality. It's tough.

I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking this, but it honestly feels like several different parts of my brain are all firing at once, like they're hyperactive or something. It’s creating this massive dysfunction where I feel totally torn between two extremes. It's almost like those loud, overwhelming centers are just drowning everything else out... so the other parts of my brain don't even get a fair chance to actually function or do their jobs because the others are just screaming way too loud. I guess that's how it feels.

But let's be clear: being "realistic" and being "rational" aren't even the same thing! They often point to two completely different directions, don't they?
Behavioral patterns are essentially just habits—and if we're being honest, aren't we all just slaves to our own habits?
It all comes down to culture, too. What seems totally bizarre to one person might just be a standard pattern to someone else.
There is an entire field of science dedicated to studying how different nations, individuals, or social groups exhibit specific behavioral patterns based on a thousand different variables, and blah, blah, blah...
It’s a fascinating topic, truly, but it would take an absolute lifetime to write it all out here...🙄

Rebecca James3 said:Look, I get it. I’ve accepted her condition from day one—I'm not some judgmental person running away from mental illness. I deal with it. But this thing about her "absorbing information"? It's not like she’s collecting fun facts just to have something interesting to talk about at dinner. It’s way more toxic than that. Everything she told me about herself turned out to be a total fabrication, so yeah, trust is non-existent. And here’s the kicker: she’s actually weaponized her illness. She’s learned how to manipulate everyone in the family and beyond. I can spot it a mile away—that shift when things aren't right and the aggression starts bubbling up. I guess I’ve just developed a sixth sense for it, unlike the rest of the family. They all try to snap her out of it by yelling, while I’m the only one actually standing up for her and trying to handle things calmly. But guess what? That always backfires on me—suddenly *I'm* the bad guy. It feels like she’s evolved to a point where she knows exactly how to pull the strings to get her way. I don't know if there's a clinical term for it, but she’s like a conscious schizophrenic—she might not grasp the medical specifics, but she definitely understands the consequences and uses them to her advantage. Call me harsh if you want, but I refuse to fall for her traps, whether she’s doing it on purpose or not.

I won't quote the entire thing—there’s really no need, right? We get each other. You know perfectly well that empathy is essentially a reward for one's own struggle and effort; it's a profound sign of self-assurance. Ultimately, isn't our goal simply to become people who can truly grasp the pain felt by another human being?
I know you understand her condition because you live it every single day. Sadly, I have had opportunities in my own life to be intimate with people facing similar struggles, perhaps within certain medical institutions or facilities.
Not a single one of them presented symptoms even remotely similar to hers. They were so vastly different that at one point, I actually wondered if they were just acting! But they weren't. They truly weren't.
She doesn't process information the way we do—you know, how we absorb data, later analyze it in our minds, filter out what is necessary for specific circumstances, and either retain or discard the rest as useless... eventually settling it deep in the subconscious.
But she? She doesn't. Every piece of information she receives isn't analyzed that way; she can't separate what is vital for the "here and now" from what isn't. So, it often drifts back into the subconscious, and she ends up using certain perceptions when there isn't any real necessity for them. In all that chaos, a sort of "perceptual prison" is formed.
Every post here might help you in one way or another, because someone out there has lived through it or is currently navigating similar hurdles. Therefore, there is no such thing as criticism here; every sentence is written with good intentions and the hope that you might remember certain points to use for your collective well-being down the road.
Manipulation is actually an inherent part of intelligence, don't you think? It should be accepted as such; viewed through the lens of reason, she is fully aware of what she is gaining or losing.
If she is conscious of her illness, then she uses secondary regressions—she exploits her condition (whenever possible) to make the illness feel comfortable. Honestly, you shouldn't dwell on it too much; even healthy people do things like that every single day.
The key is to notice her patterns—those actions that repeat themselves over time—so you can prevent unexpected reactions and unpredictability.
Look, everything I am saying here is written in plain human language. I could have stood here playing the philosopher, throwing around technical jargon that you could find on any medical website in the US.
Observe. Remember those moments where her behavior shifts from the norm. Prevent stressful situations (alcohol, smoking, tea—get it all out of the house!). Try to maintain the family status quo as much as possible, and you will reduce your own troubles; it won't solve everything, but it will certainly make things easier for you.
You should read about the cognitive levels in schizophrenic patients; it is truly incredible how much they can apply to everyday life. Sometimes, I found myself in awe of how they could synthesize various pieces of information in certain situations. I actually learned a lot from them.
Even today, I have a friend—unfortunately, she is in a hospital facility for the rest of her life (according to the doctors, it was postpartum depression)—and I go visit her, though not frequently. Sometimes she recognizes me, but sometimes, she has no idea who I am at all.
I understand this, and I hold no prejudice. This illness... it simply does not allow for it.

Rebecca James3 said:A few posts above yours describe my situation perfectly. She was diagnosed early—back in her teens. That's all I know for sure. I don't think she realizes exactly what she has, but she definitely feels like something is wrong. She goes through periods where she becomes suicidal and talks to herself—these "ghosts," voices in her head that she "fights." She describes them as people telling her how she’s going to hurt herself or her family. She'll burst into tears for no reason while sitting in a silent room, staring blankly at the floor. She's also broken things—she once smashed a glass door—and what hit me hardest was when she threatened to kill me, or just started tearing her clothes apart... We talked quite a bit about this a couple of pages back, so it's not like it's impossible to find the details. 🙂 She went to a residential treatment center in Manhattan (basically a campus with multiple facilities for rehab, alcoholics, psychiatric patients, etc.). After staying there for several months, she came back feeling completely "renewed," but that didn't last. She didn't come back aggressive; instead, she just completely checked out from herself and everyone around her. She takes her prescribed meds, but she won't go to the counseling sessions or group support she really needs. I think she's just denying her own state. I know the medication keeps things under control, and she seems happy now that she's doing better, but I'm terrified she'll slide back into her old ways. I don't want that to happen because she's older now—not ancient, but getting to that age where recovery becomes much harder. If she relapses, there might be no coming back.

Look, how this plays out depends entirely on your own perspective and how you choose to grasp the nature of such an illness. If you view it as a total life catastrophe, then naturally, living with it is going to feel impossible. But! On the other hand, if you can just accept it for what it is, perhaps some pieces of the puzzle will finally fall into place.
She is going to lapse into these "irrational states" from time to time, even with the medication. It happens. Because during certain stretches of time, she simply sees the world through a completely different lens than we do.
Some people suggest that those living with schizophrenia actually have a much higher capacity for absorbing information than the average person. The problem is, they can't process that massive influx of data, so it manifests as aggression—directed inward at themselves—or as specific actions taken just to force the world to pay attention to them. They don't possess that healthy sense of narcissism most people do; instead, their behaviors spiral into these totally unpredictable patterns.
If you can learn to accept those behavioral shifts over time, there is a real hope that she will gradually diminish that sense of "isolation" from reality.
She isn't "crazy," nor is she emotionally deficient. Quite the opposite, really! She reacts with her own unique personality based on how her perception of her surroundings allows her to. Sometimes, she is incredibly intelligent.
Every unusual action is essentially a signal that something in your relationship isn't quite clicking—perhaps it's your own refusal to accept it, or maybe you're staring too hard at the illness itself. Plus, there's the disease itself, obviously. We all live by these societal clichés, conforming to widely accepted attitudes regardless of how little foundation they actually have. We act this way because that's how we're taught, and we rarely deviate from those conventional ways of viewing people and things.
She isn't stuck in that old version of herself anymore; her character has shifted entirely. Her ego fights against what she feels and sees, yet her intelligence tells her that everything is, in fact, exactly as you see it. That rift—that split in how she perceives reality—creates these internal movies, sounds, and often very painful emotional states within her.
Delusions aren't just illusions; they are her reality. When she’s in a bad episode, she spends the entire day dreaming, viewing reality through these illusions where everything is actually something else entirely—something almost tangible.
This isn't "cognitive dissonance" in the sense of holding two acceptable conflicting views. She isn't a double person. Most of the time, I believe she resonates with events and circumstances in a perfectly rational way.
Regressions are expected. They are normal. There is nothing you can do to stop them. Perhaps all you can do is try to accept, with common sense, that this is something that will periodically happen. It might help you to try to understand her by realizing that her perception of life is fundamentally different from yours. She is capable of visualizing things you couldn't even imagine, creating mental imagery, hearing sounds, and warping reality to infinity.
Knowing you, there will unfortunately be consequences—because the root causes are buried deep within her from long ago—but there is a possibility that it might become easier for you, and you might feel less "guilt," even though you can't actually help her. No one can, unfortunately.
Pay attention to her somewhat predictable patterns of behavior: the repetitions, her motivation for certain chores around the house, her interest in specific people or events. Just... live.
For her, life stopped in time at one moment, and she is fighting to keep moving forward, while for you, life is still steadily gliding along. I know you have to think about her, but please, remember to think about yourself too.

Rebecca James3 said:But how are you supposed to fix a problem that’s fundamentally unfixable? Schizophrenia—it stays with you for life. Period.

I haven't caught up on all the previous posts—there are quite a few, aren't there?—but when was the diagnosis actually made, and what were the criteria used?
Was she treated at a specific facility, perhaps somewhere like the Mayo Clinic, and for how long?
Well, if there is a distorted perception of reality, that is typically a hallmark of schizophrenia-psychosis.
Does the illness manifest in distinct episodes, or does it surface intermittently and then linger for a while?
Schizophrenia is far from simple to treat, nor is it easy to diagnose. Usually, it is accompanied by depression, anxiety, and fear. There is aggression, self-loathing... so suicide becomes a significant concern. They are rarely aggressive toward others, though.
I don't know what your specific situation looks like, but such patients often experience an entirely different version of reality—sounds that simply aren't there, hallucinations, they might even find the taste of food changes.
The expression of emotions? It is completely incomprehensible. They might laugh or cry when there is absolutely no reason to do so.
One of the most daunting challenges is that, in most cases, these patients aren't even aware they are ill.
With antipsychotics, regular medication, and consistent check-ups, schizophrenia can be managed well enough that patients can handle daily life reasonably effectively.😉So, we are talking about treating psychosis.
A "cure" for schizophrenia doesn't exist. Sadly, it doesn't.🙄
And now, what could the causes be? No one knows for certain. Not a single definitive cause has been uncovered.
There are theories regarding genetic inheritance, biochemical exchanges in the brain, stress, family dynamics, environmental factors, and a mountain of assumptions, but the actual root cause remains a question mark.🤷
By the way, depression and psychosis tend to alternate in schizophrenia—one follows the other, and vice versa.
It is a heavy burden, both for the patient and for the people surrounding them.

fadedbear92 said:Come on, people—please realize there are no universal rules when it comes to antidepressants. Some folks lose weight, some pack it on, and for others, nothing changes at all. There is NO single rule!

Look, Zoloft isn't exactly PEZ candy. It’s complicated! At the same time, it can cause weight gain in one person—even if just slightly—while causing someone else to lose body mass entirely. Does it depend on why you're taking it? Yes, the diagnosis matters! Isn't it fascinating how Zoloft is theoretically used to treat almost everything? Social phobias, various phobias, PTSD, multiple types of depression, even OCD... and they even prescribe it to children!!! It really is an interesting medication.
Zoloft is a drug prescribed to a massive spectrum of patients, and because of that, I truly believe it hasn't been sufficiently vetted in a controlled sense.
The clinical studies are incomplete and quite rare, which means new versions hit the American market incredibly fast—basically just old drugs rebranded with unknown additions—before we've even fully grasped the fundamental characteristics of the older ones being phased out (and we all know why they get phased out).
Besides, discussing this is treated like a total taboo, much like certain aspects of psychotherapy itself—you know, things like resistance, defenses, countertransference, object attachment to the therapist, regressions, and all that sort of thing.

redranger2 said:Q-pin and Seroquel are essentially the same thing, and they certainly aren't used to boost libido. If anything,
they tend to drive it down (much like Varenicline or Zeldox).
Naturally, there are outliers who manage to maintain a normal sex drive regardless of whatever cocktail they are on. They are the lucky ones.

Yes, it’s generally accepted that Q-pin and Seroquel are the same thing, just made by different companies—like Pfizer or something from the United Kingdom.
But are they truly identical? Not really. They don't impact every patient in the exact same way. For instance, Seroquel can frequently cause blood pressure to spike, whereas Q-pin tends to do the opposite. Though, granted, in very rare, exceptional circumstances, even Q-pin might cause a sudden jump in blood pressure. But that's rare. Very rare indeed.
Seroquel is sometimes utilized for bipolar depression.
People lump them together because they're both antipsychotics intended for patients dealing with schizophrenia or mania.
The real issue, though—the real trouble!—is that we don't truly know how these drugs behave when mixed with other antidepressants. Sometimes, though not always, an antidepressant is paired with another drug if libido issues arise.
To put it bluntly: when a doctor heads off on vacation and doesn't want to deal with a patient hanging from a chandelier upon their return, they just prescribe Seroquel... and peace at last.
Anyone without major issues with schizophrenia or mania sleeps like a baby, sometimes twenty hours a day.
As for me, since I started taking Q-pin 200 mg (which in my recent case has been Loquen 200 mg), I haven't had any problems with my libido.
Psychopharmacologists theoretically understand exactly how a drug should act based on its chemical composition and all that, but they aren't the ones actually swallowing the pills, are they?
Once a patient starts on these heavy-duty medications, they begin experiencing all sorts of symptoms that often get brushed aside... simply because the drug is doing "exactly what the doctors said it would do." Very nice. Truly.😳

Gerald Torres2 said:I was put on low-dose Seroquel (50 mg) as a stabilizer, and let me tell you, sex was the absolute last thing on my mind. It was just endless hours in bed feeling totally brain-fogged. Naturally, I stopped taking it... because I'm dealing with BPD, not schizophrenia.

Well, honestly? That's actually a relatively low dose—compared to, say, someone taking 400 mg. But even then, it causes such intense drowsiness. It’s brutal.
For instance, I ended up dropping 40 pounds in just two months.😢
Isn't it frustrating how a wrong or incomplete diagnosis leads to doctors prescribing every pill under the sun? People end up taking whatever they're handed, convinced it's finally the "magic bullet" solution, simply because there isn't enough education involved. Then, what happens? They have to struggle through weaning themselves off the wrong medication, only to start the whole cycle over again, praying they don't run into the same mess.
Unfortunately, there are endless examples of this happening out there.

crimsonfox26 said:Lately, I’ve noticed I’ll wake up with my fists clenched or find myself white-knuckling a pillow in my sleep.
Now I finally realize why.

Usually, when I struggle to sleep, people suggest a blend of Valerian, Lemon Balm, and Chamomile.
To be honest, searching for potential side effects didn't even cross my mind; I mean, it's just tea, right? It's not like it's going to hit me like a freight train. 🤣

I think I’m going to go check it out now. 😳

Go ahead.😉
Everything carries risks; it's just that a huge portion of it remains unexplored or hasn't been properly scrutinized through the lens of practical psychopharmacology. When dealing with disorders, we always start with the most obvious, surface-level symptoms, and then, through a process of elimination, we drill down to the core issues.
If medication isn't strictly necessary—if things can still be mended through alternative methods—then why poison ourselves more than we have to?
Of course, that kind of philosophy doesn't exactly sit well with Big Pharma and their ilk. But hey, that's a whole different conversation, isn't it?