Posts by Sophia Ward57

If you're interested in some lighthearted chatting about pretty much anything under the sun, feel free to reach out 🙂

Robin Bishop4 said:Greetings. I am curious about how one triggers critical thinking when they aren't used to it—when everything is just done on autopilot, almost subconsciously...
How does one actually initiate that mental process? Just to pause and think, rather than letting life run on mindless, automatic pilot...?

But why would you even want to do that? Honestly, I struggle because I tend to overanalyze things, like my own basic bodily functions. I don't see the point in constantly ruminating on things that should be automatic or learned habits... Why exhaust your brain with unnecessary thoughts when you could be focusing on much more interesting topics?

If you’re talking about reacting instinctively to questions or similar situations, the trick is simple: before you respond, just stop and deliberate. Have an internal debate with yourself. From now on, I'm making a conscious effort to think through everything I say before I speak. Eventually, this will become your new default setting—an automatic habit where you think first and react second. And there you have it, problem solved. But at the end of the day, it's all just conditioned behavior; we are all essentially slaves to our training...

Tics can certainly be a component of OCD. One common manifestation involves the constant need to glance upward, or perhaps to the left or right, along with prolonged blinking patterns and things of that nature... if these symptoms start interfering with your daily life, please seek professional help; medication can often provide much-needed relief here.

fadedbear92 said:Well, it's an anxiolytic antidepressant—basically a downer—so I highly doubt it caused the insomnia, though I suppose every individual reacts differently to any antidepressant, so I can't rule out the possibility entirely.

Where did you hear that it's an anxiolytic? As far as I'm aware, it's simply a potent antidepressant. Insomnia is definitely a side effect; I experienced it myself during the initial stages because the medication is quite strong and tends to leave me feeling wired, which is why I take something else before bed just so I can drift off... So...

cosmicdriver42 said:Fevarin worked fine for me for about two or three months, but then the insomnia kicked in. I'm not sure if it was the medication itself since the sleeplessness stuck around even after I quit, but either way, it wasn't doing it for me anymore. For me, it was a very heavy-duty drug.

Really? So far, everything has been fine on my end. In fact, it was actually the opposite for me—I had trouble sleeping at first. I would wake up at 4:00 AM feeling completely rested and refreshed.
It truly helped me, though it didn't entirely eliminate my OCD. I still struggle with intrusive thoughts every single day; it’s just that I feel more capable of controlling my actions now. The rumination is definitely still there. So, while the medication is strong, it really does provide relief. My OCD used to consume my entire day; the only time I felt a reprieve was while I was sleeping, though even then, the anxiety would allow panic attacks to creep in. Now, I am fully functional, aside from this constant sense of lethargy. I try to channel as much energy as possible into staying active so I don't succumb to that lack of motivation, and I've had some success... but when I'm left alone with my thoughts, I don't feel happiness or satisfaction, just a sense of emptiness.

cosmicdriver42 said:Wait, you're taking three Fevarin pills a day? I tried Fevarin once and even a single dose felt like being strapped to a rocket; I can't imagine triple that without my heart giving out. Are you taking anything else?

I take Vaira in the evening to help me sleep, but only 5 mg. It's strictly to manage the panic attacks I get before bed. Honestly, because the feeling from Fevarin is so intense, I somehow manage to stay lethargic despite it...🎉

fadedbear92 said:At its core, isn't depression just a lack of motivation? That's why antidepressants and therapy exist—but I honestly don't follow your line of reasoning here.

If we are talking about clinical depression, we're looking at disrupted neurotransmitter connections—basically pure chemistry and biology.

Are you dealing with clinical depression personally, or is it a milder version?

"...To overly simplify things, the neurons in our brains send and receive chemical signals to communicate with each other much like we send our friends or co-workers an email. When things are working normally, emails flow back and forth at appropriate levels and are received on the other side. This regulates our mood and we have a proportionate response to our circumstances (i.e., when there is something to be happy about, our brain releases happy chemicals and we feel happy, and wen there is something to be sad about we feel sad).

In the brain of someone suffering from major depression, there is a glitch in their email system. This can happen in multiple ways: sometimes it’s that not enough happy emails are being sent, and sometimes it’s that there aren’t enough accounts to receive those emails, so they don’t have the intended effect. Either way, an experience that might produce a happy response in a normally functioning brain will not generate the same response in a brain suffering from depression.

What this means is that someone who is depressed might have to work two or three or more times as hard to generate the same happy chemical response in their brain as someone without depression. And that’s tough, because some of these same neurotransmitters also affect willpower and energy, so someone suffering from depression will have less of those as well to work with.

So What works for treating depression?

Luckily, there are many treatments that have been proven to be effective against depression. And according to the National Institutes of Health, 80% of those who seek treatment of depression show an improvement of their symptoms within 4-6 weeks of beginning treatment with medications, psychotherapy, attending support groups or a combination of above.

https://www.naturewisecounseling.com...k-of-willpower

scientific lecture

A scientific lecture...[/I]

Lack of motivation isn't quite the same thing as clinical depression. I don't deal with those suicidal thoughts that typically come with depression, nor am I feeling sad or crying all the time. For me, it’s just a complete lack of willpower. My official diagnosis is OCD, not depression, yet I’m still prescribed high doses of antidepressants—which effectively treats a depression I don't even have...
The listlessness I’m feeling is just overwhelming... I have absolutely zero interest in getting out of bed in the morning, talking to anyone, or doing anything at all. It isn't even that I feel sad, per se; it's more like this complete and total lack of will...

Douglas Gray8 said:What happens when you’re trying your hardest to stay under the radar, yet you have this nagging feeling that everyone knows your business? Like you're the constant topic of conversation everywhere you go. It’s jarring when a few people you just met yesterday suddenly drop details about your life that they shouldn't even know... why does everyone seem to be in the loop? I feel like I'm stuck in some twisted reality show where every move is broadcasted. Nothing is private. It feels like there are agents shadowing my every step, eavesdropping on everything—maybe they even know when I'm alone.🤔I mean, I know

Over the last month, I've developed this unsettling sensation that everyone is fully briefed on my life, including people I haven't even met yet. How can someone I'll meet tomorrow already know my story? Where did this sudden paranoia come from, and why is it happening?

I'm not sure... But you really should consider seeking professional help if this paranoia is weighing on you, just to make sure it doesn't escalate into something like a psychotic break or something similar...

ironrider11 said:Doesn't it take an insane amount of willpower to stay this stubbornly passive for so long?

I feel compelled to share this, because honestly, shifting my perspective like this has completely transformed my mindset over the last few days. I truly hope it helps someone else out there... The truth is, all that effort and sheer will you spend trying to be unmotivated and nothingness—you should take all that energy and redirect it toward something positive. Whether it’s a friendship, love, or your career, if you pour yourself into those things, they will eventually give back exactly what you're looking for. Unlike how I felt last week, today I am genuinely happy because I appreciate everything I have. I'm happy because I'm working on myself and making progress, and I'm joyful knowing this post might help one of you. Take all that negative energy from your lack of motivation and whatever tasks you've been avoiding, and just pivot. Apathy is simply a mental state we've trapped ourselves in, and we are the only ones who can pull ourselves out of it. Change your mindset, I suggest... I know it's easier said than done, but seeing my own transformation proves it isn't impossible. If anyone needs any advice, please feel free to reach out 🙂

Hello there. If anyone is interested in chatting—especially fellow programmers, so we can commiserate over code together 😁—or if you're just someone dealing with anxiety, feeling perfectly chill, or navigating whatever mental health journey you happen to be on, please reach out 🙂

Larry Diaz4 said:If I knew, man, I’d have fixed it by now. The problem is, I just don't know. 🙂
For me, this whole "hell on earth" thing kicked off the very first day of high school when I was turning in paperwork. That was when everything shifted—I went through this massive transformation 😁 And then there were those periods—if I remember right, two full years where things were even worse than they are now. Then I stabilized a little. Just a tiny bit. I pushed through, finished up, and headed off to college. For a short while, things felt okay—new people, new classmates, a little spark of happiness. But it didn't last. I bounced right back to this state. I’d take my exams, hang out with people, but I was just... rotting inside. I remember being over at a friend's place in his new apartment—I was practically sobbing from the sheer misery of it. I’d go out to bars or clubs—and then come home absolutely dead, crushed by sadness. Even going to the movies felt like such a chore—just lifeless and empty.
I’m meeting a coworker for coffee next Friday. She’s an awesome person—really kind, down-to-earth, just a genuinely good human. And I’ll go. I’ll hand over the stuff I need to give her, but I’ll basically just be "going through the motions." She’s going to ask me what’s wrong—because, let's face it, it's written all over my face—and I’ll probably just lie to her again. 😠

I don't know why I'm like this, seriously, I have no idea... If it were death, or a serious illness, or something tangible, I could wrap my head around it. But it's nothing like that. Sure, I had a rough breakup once, and yeah, that really hit me hard in the gut. But this feeling started long before that relationship, and it’s still here. It’s been here. So there isn't one specific "trigger" to point to. 👎

I'm not even looking for joy anymore. I just want to get through the day without this crushing weight on my shoulders and this total lack of willpower. 👎
I don't want to wake up tomorrow and feel this absolute agony. It literally feels like someone is reaching inside me and ripping my heart out right now. 🤮

But what does that lack of will feel like for you? I get that the OCD is exhausting and makes it so hard to function normally, but does the lack of motivation stem from that feeling of helplessness? From just being unable to act "normally"? 🤔

I used to give 100% to my friendships and social life. Now? I just can't bring myself to care. I know that sounds harsh, but I’ve been burned too many times to try that hard anymore.

This state of constant interruptions has really been dragging on for you... Honestly, I truly hope you find a way to move past this and start living a normal life again... Because I know how it goes; we live by a script where today I *have* to do this and that, and that's the end of it. There are no emotions involved. It's not "I want to do this," it's "I have to do this," so I do it, but all I can think about is waiting to get home and collapsing into bed, where I'll just be listless again... At least, that's how it is for me. Here is roughly how my story goes:

I used to feel everything so deeply—passion, love, friendship—and I also felt the sting of being hurt or messed over. There were so many emotions. I think between the medication that numbs everything and my own experiences, I just burnt out. Emotionally, I've been scorched. Now, to protect myself from getting hurt, I've become cold. Listless. Void of emotion. I'm practically indifferent to everything: success, work, traveling, friends... It's not because of the OCD; I've accepted it, and it doesn't bother me particularly much—it's just there, and that's fine. But this lack of drive isn't fine. I feel like I lost a part of myself during the healing process—that emotional side of who I am. That's my story.

ironrider11 said:Doesn't it take an insane amount of willpower to stay this stubbornly passive for so long?

We end up beating too much willpower into sheer apathy. It’s possible, but how one actually breaks that cycle is the real question...

Larry Diaz4 said:Not anymore. Back in the day, when I was playing sports—man, I would’ve given anything for a medal. At the end of high school, I would've done just about anything to get into college just so I wouldn't feel like such a loser. I would've traded everything for my own little room. I would've fought tooth and nail just to pass a single exam. But now? It's gone. I've basically let go of all the brakes, and nothing feels worth the struggle or the effort anymore. Nothing and nobody. Even when I actually land the thing I wanted, I just don't care. I'll ace some brutally difficult exam, crush the entire school year, and I'm still just... listless. Like, what's even the point?
I never really had this whole "meaning of life" thing—I wasn't born because of some "divine plan" or whatever. Just a hyperactive sperm cell. That's it. I am who I am. Average height, kind of scruffy. Thanks, 🤮
I was unmotivated back when I won silver and stood on the podium, too. I was miserable even when I finally got my own room (it was like a tiny 100 sq ft closet). You pay the money, and you still feel the same.
Honestly, I've been dragging this along for over 10 years now, and if I hadn't ended up in the ER, I probably never would've reached out to a doctor.
I don't pick my own therapy, nor do I prescribe things to myself. In small doses, it acts like an antidepressant, and it's used for stomach issues too. My appetite has finally kicked in, and I went from 110 lbs to 121 lbs (my goal is at least 143 lbs). I dropped 22 lbs in a very short window—you could literally see my ribs sticking out. I have a check-up this Friday, so by then I'll be through this box, and I'll give my doctor the full rundown.

If you gave me EVERYTHING right now, it wouldn't help. My only goal is to just survive the day. I do what I have to do, and only as much as I can. The rest of the time, I'm just staring at the ceiling. If I make plans for a movie or coffee, or if people call me—I'll show up, but I'll "perform" it. And then I feel terrible, like I'm being unfair to them.

So how are you getting help? How do you pull yourself out? If that's the case, you're in a much worse state than I am... I've been feeling this way for a few months, but I'm terrified it'll last my whole life..
What changed within you that makes it so you can't find joy in the things that used to make you happy? There's a history of depression and similar issues in my family, so I blame my genetics, but I also blame myself—I just don't know how or why. We do this to ourselves, but I don't understand the mechanism behind it..

It seems like you at least have a goal.. Hitting a certain weight.. Or just some kind of objective
I understand that feeling regarding social circles, that sense of being unfair..
I try to give my absolute best in social situations, because I feel like they deserve that, rather than me just sitting there like a houseplant while we grab coffee..

Larry Diaz4 said:I used to "mess around" with OCD tendencies back in the day. I’d find myself counting lines on the road while riding shotgun, or tapping patterns on the floor—stuff like that—but I eventually moved past it. 🕺 I was never actually diagnosed with it officially, though.
What's on my official record is F-16.2 (Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder) plus burnout syndrome, according to my psychologist (who, by the way, I'm seeing twice a week right now).
As far as I know, Fever is what they use for depression—a buddy of mine takes it.
And you mean you don't even know why you're feeling so unmotivated? Man, that’s honestly the worst part. When you actually know what's eating at you, you can start tackling it... otherwise, you're just stuck :/

Haha, alright then, an OCD phase... plenty of us have been there. They say everyone has some level of OCD, but if it eats up more than an hour of your day, then it becomes a diagnosis. You probably just outgrew that specific phase haha

I dealt with Pure O, which means I’d dwell on things like breathing, and then spiral into thinking I’d die if I didn't consciously monitor how I breathed because I might forget, leading to a panic attack and all that... It was nasty. All those functions that should happen naturally—I felt forced to control them... Ugh, just thinking about it now... Nowadays, it's mostly cleanliness and rumination, it hasn't really decreased. Haha, but I did learn how to live with it

How is it that you aren't taking an antidepressant? Sullivan is an antipsychotic, if I recall correctly.
Have you tried combining it with something else... perhaps a different type of therapy?

Yeah... I don't know, to put it in the words of my therapist, I feel like I'm lacking a purpose in life. There isn't anything I would die for, nothing I could give 100 percent of myself to... Do you have something you'd give everything for? Some kind of motivation, a goal?

Larry Diaz4 said:I'm currently on Sulpiride—100 mg a day (splitting it into one 50 mg dose in the morning and another in the afternoon). Is it possible this is making me drowsy, even if it isn't supposed to? I've been sleeping from, say, 11 PM until about 8 or 9 AM, plus a nap for an hour or two in the afternoon. It’s just this constant lethargy weighing me down.
Man, unless you're getting really old, it won't hit you that hard. And don't give me that "it just happened out of nowhere" or "when I least expected it" stuff 🤮
Psychosomatic pain is the real deal. My spine, my neck, my arms... it feels like I've been lugging around two heavy cases of Budweiser all day. It can stay like that for hours. Even getting cramps in my legs and everything.

So, if I've got this right, you have OCD? How does that actually make you feel unmotivated? I totally get that it's bothersome, but how does it drain your will to do anything?

Honestly... it's a truly nasty way to live. 😢

Larry Diaz4 said:I'm currently on Sulpiride—100 mg a day (splitting it into one 50 mg dose in the morning and another in the afternoon). Is it possible this is making me drowsy, even if it isn't supposed to? I've been sleeping from, say, 11 PM until about 8 or 9 AM, plus a nap for an hour or two in the afternoon. It’s just this constant lethargy weighing me down.
Man, unless you're getting really old, it won't hit you that hard. And don't give me that "it just happened out of nowhere" or "when I least expected it" stuff 🤮
Psychosomatic pain is the real deal. My spine, my neck, my arms... it feels like I've been lugging around two heavy cases of Budweiser all day. It can stay like that for hours. Even getting cramps in my legs and everything.

So, if I've got this right, you have OCD? How does that actually make you feel unmotivated? I totally get that it's bothersome, but how does it drain your will to do anything?

It isn't supposed to, but don't they all have a sedative effect..?
Well, what else do you think is making you sleepy? Maybe try changing the timing of your medication. I take Vera before bed because it has that specific sedative quality. That way you get your rest, and you shouldn't be feeling drowsy again in the afternoon...
Wait, what exactly is your diagnosis?

I have OCD which wears me out—on a scale of 0 to 24, I'd say—but it doesn't make me feel listless. I think I'm depressed (unofficially), and the OCD meds actually keep me somewhat elevated because I'm on 300 mg of Fever, an antidepressant that won't let me sink too low. So I'm just... flat. Neither good nor bad...

Larry Diaz4 said:Honestly? Not really... I feel like I’m just slowly falling apart more and more every single day. Even if you granted my every wish—it wouldn't change who I am. On my last birthday, I actually prayed to just pass away.
I've tried tweaking the little things. I tried changing my sleep schedule, what I eat, how I hang out with people, studying, relaxing—zero results. I've tried all sorts of tiny adjustments. I thought maybe it would just pass on its own. Once I finally finished school—back to square one almost immediately. Moved into a new apartment—right back to where I started. Every one of those little wishes that actually came true—it was just the old me again... Even now, being almost done with my braces—still nothing.
That’s the worst part—there isn't even any "concrete" thing bothering me. Okay, fine, I'm single, but that's no reason to feel this way. 😁

Man, I hear you. That's just how it goes. All that happiness and then—poof—nothing lasts forever. I don't put my faith in anything anymore; I just hope. *Dum spiro, spero.*
I'm putting my trust in new breakthroughs in medicine, pharmacology, and maybe a bit of luck if the stars align. Because, for instance, I am EXHAUSTED. I'd sleep ten hours at night and then still need another hour or two or three during the day. My body just aches constantly, and I can't even focus on studying right now. It just leaves me feeling completely drained of any willpower...

I get why you're waiting. When you're waiting, you think something is actually going to arrive or go away. But unfortunately, that's just an illusion. Are you just going through the motions? Like, you get things done, but with absolutely zero emotion behind it.

So, whatever you achieve or accomplish, it satisfies you for a fleeting moment before you slide right back into the same pattern... It's the exact same thing for me...
Don't look at being single as a negative thing; you have the time to work on yourself, and then a girlfriend will come along... probably when you least expect it.😁
By the way, what medication is he taking? Does it make him sleepy? And what's causing those body aches?

Yeah, nothing really brings me joy or even makes me sad... I simply go through the motions of everything expected of me, and that's it.

Larry Diaz4 said:Yeah... the worst part is—I honestly don't know what's triggering it. I mean, I know the diagnosis, but finding the actual root cause? Still a mystery. There’s no "obvious" reason for it either—nothing like a death in the family, a brutal year, or some physical illness. That’s what really kills me. Especially when my whole body just starts aching, and aching, and aching... until I'm literally crying from the pain.
That total lack of drive, that feeling where you just can't do anything... it eventually spirals into pure frustration 🙂

It's exactly the same for me. On the outside, everything looks fine—everything seems perfectly okay. And that just makes me hate myself even more 🤮

Sent from my iPhone using Twitter

Exactly...
How are you managing? How do you plan on pulling yourself through this?

Along with that listlessness, I also get this constant sensation that I'm perpetually waiting for something... Waiting to go to work... Waiting to meet up with friends... I'm just waiting... But waiting for what? Some kind of purpose?

Eric Gray2 said:We already have a dedicated thread specifically for venting and just chatting about how everyone is doing—so having a random conversation about feelings over here doesn't really make much sense.
If you want, though, we can turn this into a specific discussion about why you're feeling so unmotivated lately.

This could certainly serve as its own separate thread regarding my own lack of motivation... If anyone has any thoughts or perspectives on the matter, please feel free to share them...

Nicole Booth25 said:It might be worth scheduling some sessions with a private therapist to talk things through. Having those hour-long deep dives could help you gain some clarity on how to move forward

Exactly. I really hope you take 🙂
's advice to heart.