Benjamin Alvarez18 said:Things just kind of spiraled for me, which is probably why I mentioned that... I ended up feeling incredibly lonely after a while, so I moved back home. That was back in 2009 when I actually started treatment. I just wasn't functioning anymore; even basic stuff like cleaning the apartment or cooking felt totally overwhelming. I’ve only got about five years of seniority under my belt. I worked in my field, sure, but honestly, I don't care about it at all anymore. The last place I worked was in an office, until December of last year—wait, no, 2019—but I was barely hanging on by a thread. I didn't quite catch what you meant by "venting"... are you asking if I had some kind of outlet? ... I never did, which is exactly why I'm stuck on these damn pills now. I'm planning to head over to Central Park for a bit during this quarantine just to clear my head.
Yeah, that's what happens when you spend your life meeting everyone else's expectations instead of being true to yourself... some people just chase trends just to fit in, others follow their parents' lead and go to ballet class when they actually want to be at a boxing gym, or they stay in marriages they hate just because that's what society expects... You're pretty objective and self-aware, which I think shows you're making progress... but I'm a little confused, since you said living alone wasn't working for you, yet things aren't great now that you're back with your folks either... are you looking to get back on your own, or is staying with them actually better...
Benjamin Alvarez18 said:P.S. Thanks so much to you two ladies from the last couple of posts, I’m feeling a little bit better than I did yesterday...
Honestly 🙂, William Sanders6 wrote such an incredible post about all this, I feel like I should print it out and pin it to my wall just to remind myself...
I’m with William Sanders6 on this one, there’s really nothing left to be said about the whole mess...
And honestly, have you considered why you feel so lost? If you can actually pin down the cause, it might help a little...
Maybe you were just surrounded by dominant personalities who made all the calls for you, and now that you're on your own, you've forgotten how to make decisions because they basically stripped that right away from you...
It’s a heavy thing, not knowing who you are, because then your reactions become totally unpredictable, and people might think you're playing games with them when really you're just inconsistent because you're feeling so adrift... I think you just need to take it one step at a time, since nobody just "finds themselves" overnight, so maybe try to figure out what caused this and work through it slowly...
I haven't scrolled through your other posts yet, but my gut tells me you're dealing with a mother who’s a master manipulator... she's probably even convinced you that you can't survive without her presence... unfortunately, it sounds like your husband might be cut from the same cloth too, though I really hope that isn't the case... people who are hypersensitive tend to attract those types of personalities... you end up taking it out on your husband because you can't lash back at your mom... if you actually want to move forward... don't hold onto the hate, just try to keep things strictly surface-level... once she notices you pulling away, she'll probably start acting all concerned just to reel you back in... stay smart and don't let her get under your skin...
Looking for some new friends to hang out with (gender doesn't matter to me)... just a bit about myself: I'm in my early thirties, pretty much an introvert at heart, though I'm really trying to change that and step outside my comfort zone a little more 🙂
I love nature, good people, positive vibes, movies, road trips, sports... hoping to connect with folks who are 30 or older 🙂
Nick silvereagle7, and don't worry, it's got nothing to do with my size or anything like that, the username was just available so there you go 🙂
Introverted woman in her thirties looking to meet some new people. I don't really care about specific personality types as long as you're actually a decent, positive human being. I already have my core group of friends who I love, but I'm feeling like expanding my circle with some interesting 😉
I spend a lot of time overthinking everything from the deep stuff to the trivialities, and I'm big on nature, staying active... grabbing coffee and just chatting with girlfriends, spontaneous outings and all that... if this sounds like your vibe, feel free to reach out 🙂