Posts by Sandra Walker4

I used to be ashamed of my fetish until I realized just how common it actually is. It’s a thing for me—sneezing, specifically when it's a woman under 30 or 35. If it's an older lady or some guy, I don't feel a thing. Otherwise, seeing a girl struggling with allergies or a cold makes me want to pull her straight into bed. 😍 🙈

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Allergi...4674304&page=1

Charles Jackson5 said:It all feels a bit half-baked to me. I mean, what was the point of those specialized groups of clergy back in the 17th and 18th centuries—sent out among the frontier settlers just to convert them through sheer force of doctrine and language? Especially during such a chaotic era when even the home front in the States was falling apart?

They simply went to the Orthodox church. They had already been speaking the Slavic tongue for generations anyway. That's more than enough...

The fact that these nomadic groups vanish from the census data by 1991 is telling. They show up constantly in historical records from the earliest days—not identified as Slavs, but as people with a shaky grasp of the local language. Did the plague wipe them out? Or did they just dissolve into the larger population, merging into different ethnic groups after adopting the dominant customs and speech? It’s just the inevitable result of living alongside much larger tribes.

Kenneth Cooper4 said:The people they call Vlachs? Those are just Mexicans.

I wouldn't go that far. Americans, Germans, and Canadians all drew a clear line between the Mexicans and the Vlachs. History books consistently list them as separate entities.

slywolf45 said:You still haven't told me which school you graduated from, or what kind of job you have that allows you to toss around technical jargon like this—jargon that, frankly, you don't even seem to grasp and likely just lifted from your buddy Google...

Sandra Walker4.. I really don't have the energy to bicker with you, especially since we actually seem to be arguing over something where our views are essentially identical..

It feels like we've stopped fighting and just synced up our views. Even though I have my preferences in women, much like yours, it shouldn't get in the way of us talking. My one hard line is against anyone who abuses children. That might sound harsh, but I despise them. There is absolutely no excuse for that behavior, whether they realize the damage they're doing or not.

That’s why I spoke up here. Sometimes I react too intensely—maybe even too aggressively—but I can't help it.
It’s absurd how a single image can trigger such a visceral, negative reaction. Honestly, I didn't have an issue with the LGBTQ+ community until I saw that specific photo. Seeing a small child standing next to semi-nude people at a pride rally... it made me want to smash everything in my room. It felt nauseating. It’s pure injustice, especially coming from a group that claims to champion diversity and inclusion.

I probably need to see a psychiatrist. In certain moments, the rage is just impossible to control.

No wonder I keep circling back to this subforum. Anyway, I'm heading out. Later.🙄

I was simply answering your question about which rally I’d take a child to if forced to choose. Personally, I’ll always opt for freedom and love over hatred, but bringing toddlers to any protest—even those championing liberty—doesn't strike me as an act of liberation. It feels more like imposing a lifestyle on kids who aren't even old enough to resist it.

We actually agree on one thing: these kinds of rallies aren't for children. Kids should be with other kids until they grow up and become mature enough individuals to decide for themselves which causes are worth their time.👍

ambertinker51 said:...look, I’m no genius. I'm just ambertinker51... you know exactly what I'm about..

Just type my handle into the search bar—Google is your best friend here...

I choose peace. I’m not on a battlefield, and frankly, I have no desire to go toe-to-toe with you. You seem like nothing but trouble.

Look, when you called me an idiot, I had to push back. But honestly? You're right. I'll give you that. 👍

slywolf45 said:So, we're on the same page then..

Are you suggesting it's worse to teach kids about sexual diversity than it is to expose them to religious or nationalistic hatred?Don't go thinking those kids at the other rallies aren't getting skewed perceptions, even if it all happens amidst a sense of "religious fervor."

I'm not making excuses for either side. Kids shouldn't have any business being at any of these rallies until they have a better grasp of reality—most importantly, an understanding of themselves. But if I were forced to choose, I'd much rather they learn about sexual diversity than learn who they are supposed to hate..

No. We need to raise children with more intelligence and more freedom—exactly what I laid out in my initial post. Parents are just too selfish, far too aggressive in forcing their own truths and symbols onto their kids.

What could a five-year-old possibly learn about sexual freedoms beyond just homosexuality? For heaven's sake, that child isn't even burdened by sex or sexual urges yet.

If I had to choose between my kid showing up at some pointless political rally or facing the hostility of a Pride parade, I’d pick the latter. I’d take the euphoria of being seen and smiled at because we share the same symbols—as long as they don't soak up all that aggressive, exclusionary political nonsense along the way.

I wouldn't act that way. Not because I despise sexual freedom or have some obsession with old-school symbols, but because it comes down to one thing: what kind of environment would make my kid feel most at home?

In my view, my child's welfare comes first. Even if that means bowing to the darker side of things.

slywolf45 said:As for Sandra Walker4, I really only have one thing to say... while people are busy nitpicking every single minor mistake made by the gay community, absolutely everything seems to be swept under the rug when it comes to the straight population.
It’s just an open door for kids to be swayed by all sorts of political rhetoric and various other agendas—including outright hate speech, for that matter.

I don't recall anyone ever making a massive stink about people leading children toward Nazi rallies or extremist protests (usually under the convenient guise of "having no other choice"), or kids running around waving flags with giant Swastikas on them. But the second a gay person takes a child to a Pride parade? Oh my god... suddenly it's an absolute catastrophe!!!!

Please, you clearly couldn't or wouldn't acknowledge the massive amount of criticism there was. Besides, those political rallies are usually fueled by "ecstasy" and applause from the crowd, while this is a traumatic experience for such small children—on one side, half-naked men in underwear advertising their sexuality, and on the other, a frenzied mob making threats. If that isn't abuse, I don't know what is....
Beyond that, shouldn't children be protected from things like this at an age where they shouldn't even be required to attend rallies promoting specific sexualities or orientations?

Those parents who dress their kids in extremist uniforms are usually uneducated folks straight off a farm, yet you all think you're so progressive while doing these things to children....

And ambertinker51 is a joke, judging others based on a single post and whining because I build my views on details that aren't necessarily exceptions (though they often are, since people refuse to see their own mistakes). And they definitely think they're the smartest person in the room and always right....

Honestly, I just want to see how the average American reacts.Those people actually believe drinking from the same glass makes them gay. Ridiculous.

At the end of the day, we need to start having this conversation. It’s the only way to finally strip away the stigma surrounding that group.

Women used to burn witches. They finally realized how stupid that was.

Maybe Pride will finally show everyone that they're just regular people like anyone else. Perhaps then the attacks will stop.

Until today, I didn't have anything against homosexuals. In fact, I actually tried to justify their parades through the streets every year. I figured they weren't any more or less problematic than anyone else who ended up on that path due to genetics or mental health struggles—people who felt the weight of societal pressure and forced truths. Because of that, I assumed they understood the value of respecting *other* people's freedom. I thought yesterday’s display was just a release of long-held frustrations—a rebellion born from years of suppressed identity. They wanted to show their true selves to friends, fellow citizens, and even parents. Maybe it was even a way to get back at those parents who never gave them the support they needed.

I was wrong. I saw a photo that actually floored me. It’s proof that these people have zero grasp of what freedom actually means. Turns out, they aren't any more self-aware or less blinded by ideology than anyone else. They just feel this desperate need to force their "truths" onto anyone weaker or easier to manipulate. Most people do it, really. They just frame it differently—acting like they're superior because they're simply following their own sexual or romantic impulses. They haven't learned a damn thing from living under the weight of society's forced truths; instead, they just turn around and commit the exact same mistakes against others.
Is it even sane to drag a child to these kinds of rallies? They lack the capacity for independent thought or any sense of judgment at this age. It’s absurd to wrap little kids in flags and use them as props for political agendas. What kind of parents allow this? These are nothing more than unconscious monsters who will manufacture any excuse to justify their behavior.

I’m livid. Truly, deeply angry—and exhausted by the sadness of it all. It’s the same old story: these "free thinkers" who scream about their own rights while completely ignoring the rights of children and the sick. They're nothing but egoists. Is it really that much to ask to let a child develop naturally? To show them the different paths so they can actually find themselves? Instead, we see people using kids as pawns to push agendas or vent their own primitive impulses and frustrations. Honestly, seeing this kind of depravity makes me wonder why I even bother existing in a world like this.

Some people just don't get it. Kids aren't instruments or property; they’re living beings. They shouldn't be forced to carry their parents' massive egos or rigid ideologies. What’s really the difference between a parent who uses physical or psychological abuse and one who drags their child to a parade where half-naked men march while screaming mobs threaten anyone in sight? It's the same thing. There is some kind of curse in people—this inability to self-reflect. They can't grasp that their "truths" are just theirs. They aren't divine, and they certainly aren't gods or sages. Just humans. This photo alone changed my entire perspective on gay rights. I feel bitter and disillusioned. I actually believed people learned from experience. That was just another delusion. So many children, tonight and every day, are nothing more than tools used by parents to satisfy their most repulsive impulses.
Think about how many kids are being abused right now in all their different ways. They’re being stripped of their agency and their basic freedom. I know firsthand what it’s like when someone forces their own psychological baggage and fears onto you, leaving you to fight those battles for the rest of your life.

It’s a disgrace. A total, absolute disgrace.

A better, kinder, more advanced world? Pure utopia. It’s a fantasy. We can't even bother to question our own actions or grasp the damage we inflict on others. We're just blind, heartless, and completely self-absorbed.

hiddentrucker16 said:I find myself nodding along here; just a few thoughts from my side regarding 👍 👍

The issue—and it truly is an issue—is that whenever I write like this, people immediately assume I’m defending, or heaven forbid, promoting addiction, which couldn't be further from the truth. My only aim is for people to find happiness—assuming, of course, that such a thing is possible without substances—through a little music, dance, and the simple joys that the small things in life can offer....

But true fulfillment requires stable family dynamics, love, and mutual understanding , because love is what finally fills that ultimate void....

I agree with this point as well 😍 😍 though I should probably add that even love can be deeply unsettling or even destructive when it stems from disappointment or being wounded—heartbreak can be quite tragic... hm, hm, ah 🤣 🤣 and, naturally, accompanied by that inevitable laughter....

It’s obvious it happens, and often. But family is everything at the start. So many broken hearts and much of this suffering stem from unstable homes. Someone who fears showing emotion, someone who handles it poorly and hurts others, or someone who clings desperately to one person until it turns into mania because they were starved for affection—they always end up looking like the villain. Family lays the foundation for how we act later. Emotional instability in childhood leads directly to unstable relationships and marriages down the road.

A lot of people fear emotion. They suppress it and act cold toward everyone, even their own kids. There's this ruthless coolness everywhere, but usually, that indifference is why people go looking for happiness elsewhere. In reality, they've been stifled and repressed by their upbringing, so they turn to whiskey, cocaine, or a syringe to cope.

I know I might be talking about myself too much, even though nobody asked. I also realize I might be exhausting with how I present my views, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Because of those cold family ties, I find myself needing to hug a pillow if I'm not with a girl. If I don't feel someone or something is there for me, it becomes unbearable. I feel alone, unloved, abandoned. In those moments of crushing loneliness, I quietly absorb the smiles and happiness of others just to make living in this world feel a little more bearable.

Basically, those who have gone through what I have can grow in two different directions. One group thinks feelings mean nothing; they see emotion as a weakness and would slap someone for crying tears of joy. The other group, like me, are typical beggars searching for a shred of love and understanding, often trampling our own egos just to get it.

I hope parents are reading this. I want to scare them a little by showing how much responsibility they actually carry. Questioning your own parenting is never a bad thing.

If I had to choose between my terminally ill child living a lifetime of misery—where "winning" just means dulling the constant pain rather than finding any actual joy—or opting for an artificially induced relief, I’d take the latter. I couldn't bear to watch someone I love suffer like that. My upbringing was all about grit, sacrifice, and fighting through the dirt. Maybe I'm making the mistake of assuming others shouldn't have to live the way I did, but hey, I'm only human. I'm here to make mistakes.

Addiction doesn't destroy mental health; it's the consequence of a mind that's already been destroyed. People just refuse to grasp that.

The problem is that when I write like this, people immediately assume I'm defending or even promoting drug use. That isn't true. I just want people to be happy—if it's even possible without substances—through simple things like music, dancing, and the small joys life occasionally offers.

But you can't find happiness without stable families, love, and understanding. Love is what fills that final void.

Carl Thompson4 said:I think, at the end of the day, it all comes down to personal choice. Whether I decide to act in a way that actually makes me feel better or just drift along—well, that’s up to me. It isn't easy living in a world this fractured and schizophrenic; it’s nowhere near the utopia people pretend it is. But then again, life wasn't exactly a walk in the park for our ancestors either. They were quite literally starving and barefoot, yet they still found a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I’m not saying their era was romantic—it was brutal, honestly, from forced marriages to births happening in barns and constant warfare... you name it. My point is, making a choice today is actually harder because everything is handed to us on a silver platter. We lose the ability to distinguish what matters from what doesn't. To me, the right path is always the voice of reason, wrapped in the voice of the heart. Any lie—whether it’s from the media, a friend, or just something cleverly disguised—is a setback. ((Though these days, lies aren't even disguised much anymore; they're just accepted. It's become this culture of intoxication, promiscuity, and glorifying negativity, from the lowest lows to the absolute extremes...)). Following that path is the path of least resistance, because the truth is, the most important things are usually the simplest. Humans are cursed by wanting too much too fast. It sounds old-fashioned, but it's true. We shouldn't support lies in any form, because we all have our own crosses to bear, and lying just makes the vague purpose of life even harder to find. And that purpose is simple: a little bread, a little love, and a song... you just adjust your schedule accordingly. This is just my take on things, sorry if I'm overstepping here.
always look on the bright side of life, param, param, paramparampam....🙂

Well written, Sandra Walker4. Our ancestors lived harder lives—hungry, barefoot, lacking every modern luxury—but they were closer to the essence of being alive. Maybe they understood something we’ve managed to forget. They nurtured emotions that are slowly dying out today because of this total alienation. Back then, people actually relied on one another; survival required connection. You couldn't just plug into some gadget for entertainment after a grueling day of work. Life was brutal, and that's exactly why human bonds were deeper and more meaningful than anything we have now. What do we actually possess today? Information is everywhere. We can exchange ideas globally in an instant. We have TV, video games, you name it. But it’s all hollow. It’s just a cold transmission of desires and attitudes. We are close through words, yet miles apart in spirit—we've lost the ability to truly look someone in the eye or share a genuine smile. We don't cooperate anymore; we just compete. We compete against our parents, ourselves, our siblings, our friends. We’re all just trying to break free and run away as fast as possible because we can't stand the environment we've built.

They sell us these manufactured ideals. They push constant promises of opportunity at every turn, just to make sure we never feel settled. It’s a calculated move—convincing us that what we lack is the only cure for our restlessness and discontent.

What was my childhood like? Parents locked in a constant race to see who could pull in more cash or climb higher. After work, there was nothing but staring at the TV—just walls and silence. No actual communication. Just blame, finger-pointing, and punishment. Zero empathy. No sense of togetherness or mutual support, because apparently, that’s obsolete now. You can just buy your pleasures. Everything beautiful a family or close friends could offer becomes irrelevant, even laughable. Why bother investing in feelings when excellence is the only thing that matters? Excellence guarantees money. And money is power—the kind of power that lets you buy anyone's affection if you have enough paper.

My parents never gave me what I actually wanted for my birthday. There was always some decent gift sitting there, but all I really craved was to see them actually love each other—to feel like they were present with me, that I actually mattered. Instead, it was always the same old routine: "Go to your room and play." A magnificent gift, truly. Sometimes I just wanted my old man to be sober for once, just for that one night, but no—he’d usually end up drinking twice as much that evening.

What I’m getting at is this: why is escaping through booze and drugs still so popular despite everything we have today? It’s obvious. People feel an emptiness that they try to fill with whatever garbage is available. A fulfilled, happy person doesn't feel the need to wreck themselves with substances; they’re satisfied with themselves and the people around them. They don't run. Maybe I’m the crazy one, but I can't find anything else that feels meaningful. It’s nearly impossible to find someone nowadays who will accept you unconditionally, someone you can rely on for life, someone you can just sit with on a beach, holding them, not because they're rich or famous, but simply because they exist—just staring at the stars and the crashing waves together.

Human connections have become so shallow. Drugs seem like the perfect friend at first, completely devoted to you, until they kill off any shred of willpower you have left and suck the very life out of you.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I just didn't get to experience happiness in a way that lets me meet the world normally. It's probably stupid of me to speak in the plural when these are my experiences and my life—likely worlds apart from yours.

I’ll be blunt, without an ounce of guilt. As a mother, I would personally tear apart anyone who even thinks about offering my child—or any child, especially some immature kid—anything.
He glorified drugs like they were some kind of path to free will. Offered to hold their hand through the introduction to that life. All just to stroke his own ego. Pathetic.
I watched them die. I saw the agony they endured when there was simply no help left to give.
Too many of them were just kids.

The first time someone offered me drugs, we were in the middle of a war. Back then, nobody even talked about narcotics like they do now, yet despite my total ignorance regarding addiction or damage, I never said yes. It’s actually quite simple to say "no, thanks." The real question is why so many kids just say "give it to me" or go out of their way looking for a fix just to see what it's like. My parents never gave me the whole "drugs are evil" lecture, but I know people who use heavily despite having incredibly strict parents with impossible expectations for their children. You even see kids of surgeons ending up in rehab. What's my point? Drugs are a temporary escape, just like alcohol—a false cure for mental anguish. If someone is suffering deeply, if home life is a nightmare, or if they can't find a single reason to smile, what choice is left? They either learn to weaponize that pain—finding a twisted satisfaction in letting it tear them apart—or they reach for something forbidden and mystical. Something that offers a fleeting dream woven into reality. It gives you a better version of yourself at the start; it provides a sense of strength and defiance against a society or parents that only exist to judge, attack, and punish.

Imagine being born into some tribal community where drugs are just part of the daily routine—totally normal, totally accepted. It’s all about the environment creating the taboo. Someone raised in the Netherlands smokes weed without a second thought because it's legal there. Look, I’m strictly against any kind of substance use—cigarettes, alcohol, you name it—because once you find that escape, stopping is nearly impossible. But I get it. I understand why people reach for that exit.

Sandra Walker4, you’re judging from a distance. Completely detached from reality.
The world is a cruel place. Most vicious of all is how those who have already fallen fail to learn anything from their own wreckage.The others will stop them from hitting rock bottom.They do it on purpose. Using those double standards to drag down people who are already struggling with themselves and society. It’s calculated. Pure destruction.
And that’s a far cry from love. It isn't about justice, confusion, or being misled. It’s nothing to do with humiliation or being judged by society or any single individual. None of that.
Falling because of your own weakness is human. Not everyone is born a fighter. But you become a criminal the moment you drag another weak soul down with you.
Human selfishness? It’s baked into everyone. No exceptions—not you, and certainly not me.
Biological devastation? Unavoidable. Drug abuse? That's something we can actually tackle.

Maybe I’m out of touch. Maybe I’ve lost my mind. You be the judge. Go ahead—evaluate my thoughts, critique my presence, decide exactly what kind of person I am. At least I’m being honest.
Is it always just the dealers who are the villains? Or have they been blinded by some new, trendy addiction logic—acting out of good intentions simply because they haven't faced the wreckage yet? They refuse to see the consequences. They won't admit them.
Do you think this is glorifying drugs and pushing people to use, or just an honest conversation about experiences?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8gu9NnqtJw

I respect the right to choose, but there’s a massive distinction between making a voluntary choice and buckling under social pressure. Our survival depends entirely on our own decisions. I just want people to be happy. It doesn't matter to me if that happiness comes from witnessing a new dawn, driving a brand new luxury Mercedes, or even something trivial—as long as they aren't hurting anyone through theft, violence, or verbal abuse. Seeing smiles and genuine affection matters. The reason behind it is irrelevant; happiness simply brightens this relentlessly dark and tragic world.

If we’re going to punish addicts by stigmatizing them and shoving them into corners because they’re deemed "threats," then we should also hold the media accountable. They peddle false values and rake in advertising dollars by selling people a shred of hope or self-esteem. The pressure on young Americans is becoming unbearable. They have to be brilliant, beautiful, and successful; if they fail at any of it, they become nothing more than punching bags for their superiors.
The media promotes the greed and coldness of a consumerist society. No wonder happiness has become a commodity you buy, much like how people purchase confidence through endless cosmetic surgeries. We've started treating humans like factory-made models rather than living beings who find beauty in the small imperfections that make us unique.

I don't know. I'm deeply disillusioned. I still can't decide if it's better to live thirty years in a manufactured paradise or eighty years in a literal hell, especially if you can't meet the basic requirements to be accepted and loved for who you actually are.

Nobody here has condemned every single addict. Most have just targeted one specific individual, and frankly, there's no point in rehashing why. That person isn't just intentionally dodging the actual issue of addiction—they're actively dragging God into the argument too.
Selfishness and self-sufficiency. That’s his entire engine.
She’s clever about it. Masking everything behind calls for love and understanding.
And when you present him with the unvarnished truth? That we all end up as worm food eventually—unless you’re cremated—he just twists your words. He distorts everything.

Everyone is infected by their own little version of the truth. We all cling to our own narrow views of what’s right and what’s wrong, labeling everything else as toxic or misguided. People need to respect one another's autonomy—let people live how they choose, provided they aren't directly harming others through physical violence or psychological abuse. It might grate on my nerves that my daughter dresses like she belongs in a grunge band in Seattle. I might even suffer emotionally because the primitive neighbors next door judge me for letting her be herself. But where is my right to interfere in her life? Even if this environment pushes her toward self-harm or addiction? I can state my opinion, sure, but I have no business defending behavior I think will lead to disaster. Everyone here is the architect of their own fate; they decide their path based on what they know and what they can handle. Take my mother, for example. She chose, of her own free will, to marry a man who ended up abusing both her and me. Why should I constantly throw that in her face or blame her for it? Should someone have stepped in to stop her from marrying my father? Some people live a lifetime of drug use because they stick to certain substances; some try horses and walk away fine, while others die. That’s just life.

Selfishness is everywhere. It seeps out from even the most well-intentioned acts; it’s always there, waiting for us to spot it just so we can feel righteous about our own biases. Even you—you probably aren't that selfish. You’d likely die for others in a heartbeat, burning yourself out trying to fix this broken world without a second thought for your own life. But ego is what pushes you to betray yourself. When you go against your own interests and find that the friction actually feels good—when the sensation outweighs the damage—you keep going. You chase that destructive high until the cost finally outweighs the thrill. Only then do you stop and try to crawl your way out of the mess you made.

The laws change whenever the majority decides. But those who force them through? They fall fast and hard.
Those peddling negativity? They might find a moment of success, but it’s fleeting. Nothing more.
The mere fact that humanity even bothers to contemplate love, understanding, and peace... it's almost laughable.
It offers hope for the future.
And that path? It isn't about drug addiction!
There is no goodness, no beauty, and certainly no true love left in this world. Not seen by a single soul.
Who advocates for it, calls for it, and offers a helping hand in that first step toward destroying humanity?
Dammit, destruction is everywhere.

Who are we to define what a "downward spiral" looks like? Who are we to judge someone based on their actions before we even take the time to know who they actually are? It’s pathetic, really. We act like an addict can’t be a decent mother, a loyal employee, or just a fundamentally good person. Stigma is everywhere. People are far too quick to point fingers and throw labels around. And it isn't just addicts; it's anyone deemed "different" by the masses. Drugs destroy, sure, but life destroys just as effectively. I saw my old grandfather today—he doesn't even recognize me anymore. A man spends eighty years laughing and suffering only to end up a shell of himself. Does that mean his entire life was worthless? Should he have just ended it all while he was still in his prime? Laughter isn't a sin. Happiness shouldn't be eradicated, even when so many people are genuinely hurting. But that's exactly why we live: to find some semblance of joy. When people can't find meaning in the world around them, they seek it in an imaginary one—one that drugs conveniently embellish with vivid illusions.

Your comparison to tumors and accidents is flawed.
Tumors are beyond a person's control.
Most accidents are, too.
What you call a "well-intentioned rebel" addict is actually a free choice.
But 99% of the time, they drag everyone else down with them—family, neighbors, etc.—and that is NOT a free choice for those caught in the crossfire!
If addicts claim the right to ignore the pain and misery they inflict on their loved ones and society, why should anyone else
care about their quasi-victimhood? Or worse, coddle them for it?

Driving is a choice, and speeding might be one too, but an accident isn't. An accident is a consequence, just as addiction is a consequence. Is it caused by spoiled attitudes, selfishness, or stupidity? I wouldn't say so.

Addiction isn't chosen; it happens just like sickness or death. What people choose is happiness and pleasure, or a sense of self-esteem bought with white powder, pills, or whatever else. They choose the light, even though it’s just an entrance to the damn darkness.

If I didn't hate suffering, maybe I'd be on heroin myself today. I never encountered love, understanding, praise, or SUPPORT—exactly what's needed to grow into a psychologically stable, strong person. That's incredibly hard in today's world, where everyone is just waiting to attack, spit on, accuse, or humiliate you because they're so broken themselves that they have to bite others aggressively.

It’s disgusting to blame addicts for simply wanting to feel happy and fulfilled, even if they went about it the wrong way—a way that leaves them unable to breathe freedom because they can only think about one thing. It's equally disgusting to blame these people for being "guilty" because their arrogance and stupidity make everyone around them miserable, when they themselves are just products of their obsessed and infatuated parents. All of humanity multiplies for that same reason: pleasure. If sex were excruciatingly painful, we'd see how few people would actually be on this planet.

Addicts just looked for desire and meaning in a different place. They aren't automatically more guilty, more loathsome, or more malicious than those who satisfy that need through material wealth while ignoring their impoverished relatives or fellow citizens who have nothing to eat. Those people enjoy their new luxury SUVs and couldn't care less about others, much like people don't care if their future children will be happy when they're having sex.

Humanity is selfish. If we see that selfishness in addicts, why don't we see it elsewhere, even in our own actions? Why is it always easier for us to point the finger at "the others"—those who simply tried to live differently than us?

Why are you surprised? People lack empathy because they’re too busy convinced they’ve endured the worst, judging everyone else as pathetic, stupid, or ungrateful just for being different.

Fall down, and they’ll stomp on you. Hesitate, and they’ll spit on you. There’s zero support, zero understanding; it’s far easier to judge, attack, and harass. Exceptions exist, sure, but most people are just like this. My grandfather, my father, relatives, professors, even old classmates—so many of them hunt for a wound or a weakness just to soothe their own complexes and frustrations. In a world built this way, where can anyone find happiness, confidence, or a shred of love through art? Excuses are everywhere. Whether it’s physical abuse or verbal insults, people will always find a justification, whether they're a parent, a neighbor, or a stranger. Show any emotion to the mob and you're finished; they'll write off your mental health and tell you your self-esteem is dead.

I don't want to play the saint, but I feel like we're all part of one frayed fabric. That's how I approach others—trying to see the good in them, because understanding someone else helps me understand myself. It isn't hard to be cynical; there’s enough injustice and contempt in this world to fuel a lifetime of hate. But even in the eyes of an addict, you can find something decent, something beautiful and human, rather than just the selfishness and misery people expect.

If we accept the social definition that addicts are sick and need treatment, then why the double standards? Why blame them for being "selfish" or for making others unhappy? Do we blame people dying from cancer or other terminal illnesses? Do we blame those who leave behind grieving families? Do we blame people killed in car accidents for being bad drivers or driving too fast in a storm? Are they to blame for a genetic defect, or for a desperate rebellion against an unjust system—thinking they were better drivers than they actually were?

Do they act this way on purpose just to cause grief, or are they simply sick because they are different? Because they couldn't handle reality, or because they sought something higher through methods society rejects? An intelligent person is a questioning being; they search for something greater. Drugs are just a vehicle used to chase new dimensions of perception. There are safer ways to travel and better roads to take, but at the start, drugs act like a protective mother, caring for you until they suddenly reveal their darkest side. They are the guardians of happiness and the providers of meaning, before turning into ruthless slave drivers over a weak body and an even weaker will. Who can blame someone for being weak, or for seeking shelter from a predatory world that’s waiting to tear them down? Who can judge someone for daring to be different or for choosing to feel instead of being ashamed? The cold, disciplined types do fine, but not everyone is a robot. We can't all follow blindly. If someone uses, it is their right and their choice, provided they aren't stealing or killing. If they realize they've messed up and want to change, they have my full support. No judgment here; none of us are perfect.

Tina, you decided to quit for your child and for yourself. You want a fresh start. It’s worth succeeding for that helpless little life you need to lead onto the right path. Let that be your first commandment, a purpose as central as the addiction used to be. If I had the power, I’d toss every pill and every bit of paraphernalia out of your house, then tie you to the bed if I had to, just to get you through the temptation—even if you hated me for it. I’d do it because you chose this for yourself. If I were your brother, I wouldn't hesitate to stop you until this worst crisis passes. The cravings will hit hard at first, but I think you can rediscover that other dimension of happiness—the kind where a child’s smile is enough to send you to seventh heaven. Watching sunsets, listening to the ocean, hearing the birds—once you start finding sufficiency in those things, you'll wake up without that one nagging craving haunting your every thought. It might sound like empty clichés, but those simple realities are what make life worth living.

Once again, you have my full support. Stay strong and good luck. I’m rooting for you. I want to see the day when your child can say with absolute pride, "That's my mother." Because once you finally break free from addiction, those small-minded people—from the petty HOA presidents down to every other corrupt, lowlife soul out there—won't be able to project their anger or contempt onto you anymore. They won't have any way to justify their own malice and evil if you aren't there to take the fall.

George Ramirez11 said:🙂 I'm a single mom to a wonderful two-year-old. That’s just the reality of things—my husband has been in prison for a year and a half now, and he'll be there for at least another year, maybe two more at most.
My struggle with heroin goes back about ten years. My little boy has everything he needs and then some; I honestly just adore him. I’ve never neglected him, though—to be fair, drugs don't even hit me the way they used to, so I don't really know where I stand with myself anymore. When I'm home, I'm just... normal. Even when I'm crashing, I haven't let it stop me from playing with my kid and giving him my full attention. If it comes down to it, the last cent I have is always spent on him if he needs something, never on getting high. I don't really have a social life, no shady characters hanging around the house, and I hardly ever go out. Maybe once a month, after I've finally gotten him to sleep, I'll sneak a hit somewhere, but even then, I'm glued to my phone just in case my mom calls because the little guy woke up. Long story short, I have one happy, hyperactive, giggly, playful kid who is just as head-over-heels for me as I am for him. When I actually have to leave the house for something, my mom (who lives with us) and I put on this whole little performance to distract him so he doesn't freak out. Otherwise, his crying just breaks me.
So, here's the thing. Two months ago, the police kicked our door down. They got a tip that I was dealing. They searched the place and found absolutely nothing, but—of course—they still managed to bring a caseworker from Child Protective Services right to my doorstep. Now I'm under supervision. These days, I'm basically signing away my rights (whether I want to or not) to comply with the oversight, and the whole process is starting...
Basically, the caseworker is going to contact me once a week to check if the kid is fed, clean, and all that. I can handle that part, but the other part is the problem. They’re going to drug test me whenever they feel like it. If I test positive, I lose custody. I won't say I'll lose my child, since custody would just go to my mother—whom I see and visit all the time anyway—but... still. I want to be a mother to my son. I don't know if people who haven't dealt with addiction can even wrap their heads around this. Even when the stakes are this high, I just can't seem to help myself. I guess I just don't have the willpower or the strength or whatever else it takes to stay clean for those few days needed to pass a test. I know I'm a good mom—honestly, better than a lot of them—but I don't know how to handle this. Losing custody isn't an option. Neither my son nor I would survive it.
How do I stay clean? Just to start—just to get through those first few days to pass the tests—and then we'll figure out the rest. I know I have to get rid of the drugs regardless of all this drama.
I'm not sure if any advice will actually help, but I know some support from people who actually understand the truth of this situation would go a long way...
Thanks.

This might sound harsh, but honestly? You’ll only stay clean if you freeze yourself out. Treat the pain and the suffering like a penance you deserve—a punishment that eventually pays off if you hold steady.

As long as you're wallowing in self-love, you're going to be an addict, even with the threat of Child Protective Services taking your kids away. I hope you pull through this. Maybe one day you'll actually get to watch your grandkids running around you, happy and free.