Posts by Gerald Wilson23

Matthew Morales17 said:You hit the nail right on the head! Everything you’re saying is spot on. I mean, really, can we even wrap our heads around the idea that it was just some random fluke? Is it even possible for a truly incredible, nurturing parent to end up with a child who grows up to be violent later in life? Honestly, I don't think so—not even by a single percent! It just doesn't add up, does it?☕

Exactly, once a kid actually lays a hand on a parent, you know something went seriously wrong with how those people raised them...
I was just telling a friend of mine who's a doctor about this awful situation she dealt with, and even before I finished my story, she hit me with, "🙄you really think it's an accident that the daughter is being violent?" 😉

silentpilot6 said:It’s the same logic: you need a license to carry a firearm, and you need one to drive a car, yet any idiot, God help us, 😁 can end up working with children...

😂 🤣Seriously, though. I’d personally implement some kind of competency test before anyone is allowed to have children. You have people who can't conceive trying to adopt going through endless hoops and background checks to prove they're fit to be parents, while these certified morons who keep churning out kids don't have to prove a single damn thing.😛

Matthew Morales17 said:I couldn't agree with you more! The real issue is that so many people treat their kids like something that needs to be broken or forced into a tiny little box. They shove them into that corner and leave them there for years, but then, once that "weed" starts growing (to use a metaphor for all those inevitable behavioral issues), they act completely blindsided! They have no clue how or why things went wrong, and of course, they immediately point the finger at the child. It’s honestly heartbreaking!!☕

Yeah, the kid always ends up taking the fall... It’s pretty pathetic. I just heard this story about our former neighbors' daughter where she was getting physical with her mom, and you just know that at first glance, everyone is going to jump to conclusions and label the girl as some kind of monster or whatever.
Man, I’ve seen this exact same drama play out before. This mother used to go absolutely ballistic on her daughter—just constant physical outbursts and locking her inside the house whenever she wanted to actually head out into the city. She wouldn't even let her wear anything remotely more daring than a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, basically hovering over her like a shadow and nitpicking every single choice or decision she made. Fast forward to now, and that daughter has gone ahead and earned her Master’s degree, though she’s definitely got that sensitive artist soul about her. She ended up turning to drinking to cope, so naturally, everyone in the neighborhood looks down on her as some local alcoholic mess, while her "poor" mother gets played as this saintly, self-sacrificing woman who just did her best to raise a difficult child. 🙄😲

Hannah White2 said:Look, it’s actually pretty straightforward if you’ve got a clear set of guidelines and some basic goals in place—and more importantly, if both parents are actually on the same page when it comes to how they want to raise their kids. But if you’re just winging it without any fundamental knowledge? Man, that’s a recipe for disaster, especially when Mom and Dad are constantly clashing over different parenting styles.
Honestly, leading by example is the gold standard here. It doesn't require some magic formula; it just demands that you actually stop and think about how your own actions and lifestyle choices are playing out in real time.
If a person truly commits to this—if they treat parenting like the absolute top priority in their life rather than just some side project—the solutions will start showing up naturally.

That’s exactly why you need to vet who you’re actually starting a family with before you dive into the whole process. I definitely wouldn't sign up for a project like that with someone who thinks it's perfectly fine to lay hands on a kid, or believes they shouldn't have to provide an allowance, or stop them from going out, or just shut down every single question a child asks.👎
Look, I’m all for peace, and I definitely don't think parents should be bickering right in front of their kids—especially when they try to recruit their children to take sides in their marriage drama. When someone starts looking for an audience or an ally in the middle of a domestic dispute, that's a massive red flag. It's just wrong.
Minor disagreements are whatever, really—just people bumping heads or having different takes on things—but when stuff actually gets heavy, you handle that one-on-one.😉

analogcrane16 said:Hey everyone! I actually just stumbled upon this forum by total accident, but honestly, after seeing what’s being said here, I just had to jump in and share my two cents. In my opinion, if a parent thinks their only tool is hitting or spanking, they aren't really seeing their kids as actual human beings. To me, that kind of stuff feels more like training an animal than actually raising a child. No matter how old they get or how little they are, kids have their own desires and their own reasons for things—even if those reasons seem totally irrational or silly to us adults. Like, if a ten-year-old refuses to go to bed, I bet if you actually asked them WHY, they’d have an answer for you! You could probably work out a compromise just by talking through that reason. But instead of a conversation, some people just go straight to punishment or physical discipline??? You’ve gotta talk to your kids and find common ground. Even when my kids were tiny, I always made sure to ask them what they were thinking and what they wanted; I'd give them my take and my conclusions on the situation too. As the parent, I definitely had the final say, but I always made sure to listen to their input first. Some people would be shocked at how maturely little kids can think, or how much more grown-up they feel when they realize they have a voice and that someone actually cares about what they have to say. As they grow up, they'll keep talking to you, and they won't feel the need to hide what's happening in their lives—they'll even tell you about the messes they make because they know you'll listen, even if you still have to give them a lecture, because at the end of the day, COMMUNICATION is everything.
And trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm 38, married to a guy who basically stays out of everything, and I've got two boys who are nearly grown. I've raised two almost-adult humans from the ground up. One is 17 and the other is 15 and a half. They turned out to be great, well-adjusted people—not because of being hit, but because of respect, real conversations, making deals, and actually LISTENING to what they had to say.
I hope nobody minds me crashing this thread like this! It was totally random, but after reading through this, I felt like I absolutely had to speak up.
Please, don't just "train" your kids—actually live life with them and enjoy who they are!😉🙂😘

Hey, that was great. You laid out your position perfectly, especially since you've actually lived it, and you started your family young enough to figure out the right way to do things early on.👍 It honestly surprises me sometimes how much sense my younger kids make when they reason with me, which is why it drives me crazy when people resort to hitting instead of using their words...👎

Casey Wright4 said:For stuff like that, you go with consequences—limiting privileges or taking things away—not hitting them. If she swiped some candy, say, her mom should have just said, "No trips to Target for a bit," and actually explained why. Or maybe a temporary ban on sweets, again, with a clear explanation.
If a kid doesn't even have the cognitive capacity to tell right from wrong yet, then punishment—especially physical punishment—is useless. At that stage, the only thing that actually works is distraction.

Honestly, back when I was a little kid, my dad had this habit of yelling or swatting my hand if I messed up; once he actually smacked me when I was five years old just blowing out candles at a friend's birthday party, and God knows what my crime even was... turns out that friend was a total jerk who started crying because "she was blowing out his candles," and my dad probably just panicked thinking someone would judge him for not raising me properly, so—bam. Then his parents gave him a massive reality check after dealing with that little brat, so he stopped hitting me for things like that. Especially since I’ve always been the type who needs everything said clearly and loudly, and I react pretty intensely to violence—I actually went after that kid right after and told my dad he was being an idiot—and I was only five! 😂

Lawrence Wilson35 said:Look, regarding all this yelling...
I yell when I'm angry too. In my opinion, being angry is perfectly fine.
I don't take it personally that he felt angry; why should I?
That is his emotion. He is angry (even if it's directed at me). I already know I can be difficult, so his anger doesn't phase me, nor does the reason behind it.
But once you lay a hand on someone—that becomes personal. That's a direct attempt to strip away a person's dignity.

Yeah, even when you hit an animal, it starts to shut down, let alone a human being. I saw it with my grandparents' dog; everyone used to hit and mistreat him until he was practically feral, but the moment someone approached him nicely or offered food, he'd turn into a little sweetheart.

Morgan Cooper34 said:The yelling alone was enough to break him. That slap was just the icing on a very ugly cake.

Anyway, Key was mentioning Italians earlier. I know plenty of North American people who treat their kids like they’re invisible ghosts. Just feed them and keep them out of sight so the parents can have some peace.
It’s always the same old routine—"Go outside," "Be quiet," "Don't bother Mom or Dad while they're relaxing."
Reminds me of how we grew up, sitting perfectly still with our grandparents, terrified to make a sound while the nightly news was on. 😉

Yeah, there’s this weird thing in North American culture where people think you have to be "tough" on kids just to turn them into functioning adults. They try to force an ascetic lifestyle or even some roughness on them, justifying it by saying, "Life is going to kick them in the teeth anyway, so they might as well learn how to take a hit at home"...
My take is that you should warn young people that bullies and snakes exist, but instead of breaking them, you give them the confidence and stability they need to actually handle life. 👍 For instance, my driving instructor has a kid who was about seven at the time. Some bully at school gave him a hard time, and one day my instructor told me: "Man, I really need to teach him how to stand his ground against those predators, how to defend himself... I completely overlooked that, but now it's time he learns..." "
I'm fine with that mindset; he decided to teach his son how to build whatever strength he needs, rather than just beating him or teaching him how to be a thug. 👍

Just catching up on this whole thread...

To get straight to the point, I’m totally against hitting kids; it usually backfires once they grow up and they start expecting a lecture or a hit for every little thing.

I've also realized that every kid is wired differently, so you can't use a one-size-fits-all approach. For instance, I tutor four students in English, and while two of them are total sweethearts, the other two are absolute handfuls. One of those troublemakers is an only child who's basically being suffocated by a million extracurricular activities their parents piled on; nobody actually sits down to talk to him, so he just acts out to get attention, which I handled by just treating him like a serious adult and talking to him straight.
Now, this second little terror was genuinely disrespectful—like, I'd be halfway through explaining grammar and he’d cut me off mid-sentence to tell me some random story about what his godfather said. I finally lost my cool and raised my voice, which felt a bit loud for my own taste, but I gave him a real earful, and ever since then, he's been quiet as a mouse, listening intently without moving a muscle.👍

Or when I'm watching my nephew's kids, ages 6 and 8, if they go too far, I just raise my voice and ask, "Do I need to start acting like a thug and lay hands on you?"😂 It works because I have this naturally authoritative vibe, so honestly, just giving them a stern look is enough to settle things down!😂 I would never actually hit them; I’d feel like total trash, because I remember once losing it and hitting my brother when he was acting up in the car on our way to the beach while I had a 6-year-old with me and everything was just getting to me, and even then, I felt like shit! 😛

Hmmmmm, if I had a daughter at the age where they offer this shot, I wouldn't sign off on it, and here is why: that vaccine is still basically in its infancy scientifically, it only protects against a handful of strains, and the coverage just doesn't last long enough.☕
Furthermore, my family is full of doctors, pharmacists, and virologists—I've spent my entire life listening to people talk shop about serum production, vaccines, and meds. Vaccine tech is an entire science unto itself; you’ve got live, attenuated, and inactivated virus vaccines, and honestly, judging by how many side effects are being reported around Gardasil, I don't think the folks over at Merck have actually mastered the technology to the level this specific shot requires. Don't get me wrong, Merck is a solid pharmaceutical company and their other vaccines are totally fine, but Gardasil is the new kid on the block, and virologists still have work to do finding that perfect balance of "liveness" in the vaccine virus to ensure the body actually builds proper antibodies and develops immunity.😉

The thing I would actually do for my own kid, or even for myself, is go for genetic code analysis via PCR testing. It’s a bit pricey, sure, but it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing that reliably identifies inherited genetic mutations that could eventually—though not necessarily—trigger some kind of tumor later down the line. You can get this done here; the specialists are top-tier, it's just that most people aren't aware it's an option, and since PCR machines are so expensive, they’re only available at maybe one or two locations in places like Mexico or the US.
To me, that seems like a smart way to handle prevention; if they find a DNA mutation, you take precautions, and even if cancer does show up, it’ll be caught in the earliest stages. If nothing turns up, then you know whether there's a hereditary factor at play and what the percentage risk is for future generations, and if everything looks clean, then it’s on the parents to teach the kids (both boys and girls) how to protect themselves from HPV, specifically when we're talking about cervical cancer or papillomas.

restlessangler said:I’ve dealt with this stuff quite a bit myself, specifically in my groin area.
The last time—well, actually the time before that, since it just flared up again—was about two years ago, and it was so bad I couldn't even wear tight pants because of the pain. It lasted for a month.

I went to see my doctor, and she put me on antibiotics, which I took for a week.
After that, the pain eased up a little, but the lump (about 2x5 cm) wouldn't budge.

So, she eventually referred me for surgery.
They just cut out the tissue while I was under local anesthesia.

Did your doctor give you a diagnosis? Maybe it's from wearing tight clothes?
How long have you been dealing with this?

My doctor also suggested trying medication first to avoid unnecessary surgery if things cleared up, but they didn't.

It was a pretty rough experience, honestly; I was out on sick leave for a week and could barely walk, so I ended up driving myself to follow-up appointments every couple of days.

And where did you go for the ER visit?

Auuu, sounds like you're really going through it... I get occasional flare-ups in my groin too, but it's just one spot, kind of like a large pimple. I dab some hydrogen peroxide on it to bring it to the surface, and once that little white head appears, I carefully drain it and apply an antibiotic cream. Usually, I manage to pull out a stray ingrown hair, too.
As a preventative measure, I exfoliate that area when I shower and use Sebamed antibacterial soap—it's meant for facial pores, but it works wonders for the groin area as well.👍

My brother had a massive infection on his butt, and they had to clean it out at a clinic. He had to go back several times, and they told him that once it heals, he needs to exfoliate regularly so the hair doesn't get trapped against the skin.

restlessfox34 said:Oh man, if you only knew how much I relate to you...
Every single month is a struggle for me. Every single one. I'm 25 now, and I finally realized that the era of popping pills every hour was over, so I decided to finally grab that magnesium today. Why? Because I’m finally starting to listen to the signals my body is sending me. My cycle has always been irregular, too. This month, it showed up about 15 days late. Total nightmare! I never know when it’s going to knock on my door. Sometimes I used to take pills a week early just in case, but it was useless. Now, I can just *feel* it. I know exactly when it's coming, so I know exactly when to take my meds so they actually work.
There were times when my parents literally had to dress me in the middle of the night and drive me to the ER, where they basically had to clean up after me because I couldn't stop throwing up. God, it was awful. You just want to die. You're sitting in the waiting room on those hard plastic chairs looking like a war casualty, and people are staring at you like you're crazy, but you're just having your period.
Personally, I love it when someone stays with me during that first day, no matter how gross it looks to them. It makes everything so much easier, and honestly, it hurts a little less (it's all mental).

Magnesium is honestly great, and sometimes it clears up that brain fog and makes me feel awesome. I figured out the trick: magnesium levels drop during PMS—makes sense, right?—and when it's low, the cramps hit hard. It’s like nature designed muscle spasms to ensure the whole process happens. When you take magnesium, it might even push the period back a day or two, which is logical since you're boosting your levels.
That's why a standard aspirin or the magnesium with Vitamin C works wonders for me; it dilates the vessels and relaxes the muscles. I usually use it when my muscles are sore after dance practice, and it works just as well for periods, so I don't end up in that "war victim" state.👍

Nicole Baker said:So, here I am again, hunched over my computer and twisting around trying to find some relief from this pain... this damn menstrual cycle is relentless... 😢 The pills tend to work pretty quickly and help settle things down, though I suppose the longer I rely on them, the more resistant my body becomes to the Ketoral. It’s probably not the most ideal long-term strategy either, given how heavy they are and the potential side effects they might carry... so... if anyone happens to have a suggestion for dealing with these absolutely BRUTAL and DEVASTATING pains in a somewhat healthier way, please feel free to leave it here... thanks.....

Luckily for me, it only lasts for a few hours on the first day, but man, when it hits, it's like a total freeze... brrrrrrrr.... Lately, some Advil tablets have been doing the trick; I just pop one the second I feel it coming on, and then there's just a tiny bit of ache and nothing else...

Or if the pain already has me in its grip and I don't get to the Advil until later—it takes about 20 minutes to kick in—then cigarettes actually help, I guess, maybe they just distract me enough that my muscles finally relax. 😛 It mellows me out and everything's cool.

Basically, I cycle through Advil, Motrin, Aspirin, Bayer, or Rapaten K, though that last one is more for bone or tooth pain, etc.

Honestly though, I have to admit that a little booze still works best; I mix it with a Coke and it's pure bliss, totally relaxes me and the pain vanishes👍

I actually just mixed some Metaxa with a Coke for a friend the other day and the pain vanished like it was never even there... Obviously, I don't drink if I've already taken pills...😛

But most of the time, it's honestly just psychological; once a girl knows where it's going to hurt, the sensation of the pain just amplifies itself...