Posts by David Vaughn75

Noah Garcia4 said:I find myself constantly burdened by this exhausting need to prove I’m not dim-witted just so people don't dismiss me as an idiot. It’s become a standard assumption that if someone acts irrational, they’re essentially lacking basic intelligence.🙄

Man, if this whole world was actually some kind of perfect paradise—you know, all sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever going wrong—we wouldn't be out here getting sick in the first place. It’s just one of those things, right? If life were actually as flawless as people try to pretend it is, we wouldn't have to deal with any of this mess. 🙄

fadedlynx96 said:I have no idea who is supposedly speaking through someone lost in psychosis or schizoaffective disorder, though history is full of those who claimed to foresee the future or communicated through increasingly bizarre channels. There were all sorts of people out there, and I used to view them as much more severe cases than my own, at least in terms of falling into that poorly defined category.

That was before I encountered certain narratives myself that placed me firmly within that same heavy classification, and by then, I had already learned the wisdom of keeping such matters to myself.

I can tell you that some of those visions were completely off, like the prediction that Ronald Reagan would pass away in 1993, which everyone can agree was wrong, while others were deeply unsettling because they hit too close to the truth, whether that's mere coincidence or just the chaotic nature of madness where anything seems possible.

You overthink a million different things, and eventually, after all that mental gymnastics, you're bound to stumble onto something right by accident. It’s like a blind chicken pecking at grain—pure luck. It’s like me rolling a die and claiming I "predicted" it would land on six six times in a row.

And then suddenly, everyone's acting like there are some mystical forces at play. 🙄

Larry Lewis said:I had these auditory hallucinations for about half an hour, and let me tell you—it was a total nightmare. Just pure, unadulterated horror. Then, they sort of lulled me into this stupor, and once I finally came to, they vanished... haven't seen them since.

It’s funny—and by funny, I mean deeply unsettling—how often I notice those religious undertones popping up in people battling this illness. I can't quite wrap my head around why that is.

Man, I've picked up on that exact same thing. It's wild. Even if they aren't strictly religious, they always pivot toward some "spiritual" vibe or those weird alternative healing methods. Honestly? I think it's because religion is one of the few places where you don't actually have to prove anything—it just gives people all this room to let their imagination run wild. Like, you can't go around claiming water isn't H2O without looking like a total nutcase, but with religion, you can basically make up whatever nonsense you want and still claim you're right.

Noah Garcia4 said:I once had this idea that I was Jesus. It’s hard to put into words how I justified the thought that if you killed me now, it wouldn't change a thing. I was actually mulling over that exact contradiction the other day when I stumbled upon this same line of reasoning. 🤣
However, I remember quite vividly how much trouble you were having when you were on a heavy dose of antipsychotics.

As for my explanation for why the hallucinations have vanished—and I swear 😬—it's simply because I now sleep like a log. ☕

So, were you dealing with visual stuff, sounds, or more like tactile hallucinations?

Personally, I never dealt with hallucinations even at my absolute worst, and honestly? The mere thought of them showing up makes my skin crawl.😱

fadedlynx96 said:Andrew? I started out just being someone aware that everyone else recognized me as Jesus, which means I wasn't actually Jesus. The real issue was that I was equally aware that they wanted to crucify me, and I found that prospect entirely unacceptable, which ultimately led to the mental breakdown that landed me in the hospital.

Once I was institutionalized, I cycled through being Jesus—though even then I had my doubts, assuming if everyone else believed it, it might hold some weight—as well as being a Leader, a king, and some German general who died fighting in America during WW2.

It follows a predictable pattern where you lose your mind, only to emerge even more unhinged than before.

About that bolded part... man, I know things were absolute hell for you back then, but I honestly lost it laughing. I hope you're not mad. 😁 Even I can't help but crack up when I look back at my own nonsense... one time I was actually prepping for astral projection by using my head to shake the snow off tree branches. 😁

fadedlynx96 said:That is a fairly accurate description of psychosis. To be fair, I have never actually met a Napoleon, though I have encountered all sorts of characters, and I have been quite a few of them myself, though never all at once, because I wasn't insane.

In any case, it is best to consult a psychiatrist or a primary care physician for an assessment. Personally, I actually had a referral for a psychiatrist before my hospitalization. I had it because my girlfriend urged me to go, so I used the referral. Since I was already in the middle of a psychotic episode, I had much more pressing matters to attend to and never went to the psychiatrist of my own volition. And he is right, medication works; there are treatments for just about every condition.

Ultimately, it is better to walk into a doctor's office on your own terms than to be brought there by parents, the police, or the military police.

I used to be an angel 😁

Scott Barrett19 said:I was hoping to share some information and certain dilemmas, though I would also appreciate hearing from anyone who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Life, much like anyone else's, has its inevitable ups and downs, yet I often feel as though I struggle to navigate them more than most, experiencing things with an intensity that others seem to brush off entirely. It sometimes feels as if my moods and mental states possess a strength of their own, perhaps even greater than my own will, but I suppose I haven't quite found the courage to sit down with a psychiatrist or a psychologist, as I tend to expect the worst possible outcome.
Around the age of 18 or 19, I went through some difficult family circumstances which, at first, I seemed to handle quite well without any lasting impact, and I eventually started college. However, after a while, these strange thoughts and sensations began to surface. I was overcome by what might be called a profound sense of fear and a lack of motivation regarding daily responsibilities; there were times when I would spend an entire week inside the house without leaving, and on the rare occasions I did go out, I was gripped by panic attacks and an overwhelming sense of discomfort around people. This state persisted, and once my parents realized I wasn't doing well, I moved back home for a while, though the problems remained the same.
After a few months, I experienced a sudden surge of desire and energy to change my life, so I started working and moved toward a lifestyle that was almost the complete opposite.
However, whenever new hardships arise in my life, the pattern seems to repeat itself, and this has been occurring for about four or five years now. Currently, I have stopped working, and those depressive episodes are resurfacing. I know I can go a week without much sleep, or perhaps I am too afraid to fall asleep during the night, leading me to sleep all day instead; then, for a week or two, the cycle flips into constant outings and similar behaviors.
Perhaps these patterns could be identified more closely with bipolar disorder, though I have never reached an extreme point where I physically endangered anyone, nor has there ever been a situation where emergency services or the police had to intervene to take me into custody.
I realize many people might argue that these are just typical struggles for a young person in America—that feeling depressed is a normal response to unemployment or difficult life events—but lately, I feel as though I have crossed a threshold of self-awareness. It feels as if certain thoughts won't simply vanish on their own, almost as if they were hardwired into my brain, and they interfere deeply with my daily life and how I perceive myself and others. I also went through a period where I imagined I was someone else entirely, living a different person's life; at the time, I assumed it was merely a phase of idolization, but after reading up on certain matters, it seems much more serious.
There is also some history of mental illness within my family.
I am not entirely sure why no one ever pointed out the possibility of these issues to me, or why my parents didn't react more strongly during that first depressive episode, but I would value hearing the perspectives and advice of anyone dealing with similar struggles.

To me, that doesn't sound like psychosis; sounds more like a depressive type of illness. Psychosis is when you lose touch with reality—like thinking people are following you, that everyone is out to get you, that they're reading your mind, or that you're Jesus or Napoleon, or getting secret messages from the radio or TV and stuff like that...

Harold Anderson3 said:Personally, I’ve always felt that a little bit of madness can actually be a good thing if you keep it in check.
I've always had a pretty wild imagination, and I think that's fine, but things only get messy when you lose your grip on the boundaries. 😉

The real trick is being able to tell where your creative spark ends and actual illness begins.

If we can actually master that distinction, we can live pretty damn great lives even while dealing with schizophrenia.

Eric Mitchell55 said:+1 🤣

Anyway, looking at this thread, I see some folks are still on relatively low doses of their meds—I wish I were there yet. 😁
My psychiatrist told me she isn't going to give up on me until we get me down to just one single type of pill, so... well, we'll see how it goes. 🙂

Hey girl, when are you coming to visit Washington, D.C.?

Harold Anderson3 said:Oh, I should probably mention that I'm also taking 25 mg of Risperdal. We aren't touching the dosage for the Risperdal, but I am playing around with the Zyprexa a little bit. Honestly, I feel like I could turn any one of my dreams into a full-blown story. Some of them are actually intense enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. I was wondering if maybe there might be some connection there to the psychosis.🤷

But look, it's not just the psychosis itself—it's the whole damn package deal. Once you're dealing with mental illness, you start spiraling about the diagnosis and how much it's gonna wreck your life.

That total dissatisfaction with life? That's actually way worse than the psychosis. Because at the end of the day, the world is real, and there isn't a pill for reality.

Harold Anderson3 said:My doctor recently decided to scale back my Zyprexa to 2.5 mg, hoping it might give me a bit more energy during the day. I also tried to reset my internal clock by staying up a little later and forcing myself to wake up early for a few days, but honestly, it didn't go quite as planned. I started noticing some subtle signs of psychosis creeping back in over the last few days, so I ended up having to bump my dosage back up to 5 mg. Now, while I'm sleeping a little longer, my dreams have become absolutely wild—they’re incredibly vivid and full of detail, even if they don't make any sense at all, and I remember every single thing about them. I went through something similar after that intense psychotic episode I had before I was fully stabilized. Has anyone else dealing with psychosis experienced this kind of intense dreaming?

Honestly, even 5mg of Zyprexa is basically nothing—I’m sitting here on 20mg

And as for those dreams... what even is a "logical" dream? 😁

Noah Garcia4 said:Has anyone else here noticed, heard, or perhaps experienced firsthand that psychiatrists tend to start patients off on those older-generation medications first, only moving toward the newer atypical antipsychotics—like Seroquel, for instance—once the old stuff fails to do the trick?
I’ve heard that’s the standard playbook, and honestly, I’ve felt that cycle playing out with my own treatment, though since my meds are constantly being shuffled around, I can't say for certain if there's a definitive pattern at work. ☕

In my case, they went straight for the Zyprexa, which is actually pretty modern stuff compared to the old stuff.

Nothing is ever truly a lost cause—everything can be fixed if you play your cards right enough.

You just have to keep in mind that when it comes to treatment, people dealing with bipolar disorder often face a much steeper uphill battle finding the right therapy that actually sticks. It’s a process, so you really need to stay patient and stop expecting some kind of overnight miracle cure to just pop out of thin air.

Usually, doctors throw Haldol at patients who are spiraling out of control or use it on seniors when nothing else seems to touch their agitation

But honestly? In most other scenarios, that stuff is just straight-up evil—it comes with a massive, nasty list of side effects that’ll make you regret ever taking it

So, I was just chiming in on the thread about the work of the Government under Zoran Milanović—literally just talking about the election results—and this guy hits me with an infraction for being off-topic. Like, seriously? 😕 On top of that, the same dude flagged me for trolling earlier, even though I was actually giving a straight-up, serious answer.

If you want my two cents, the guy’s clearly out of his depth playing moderator.

Jason Vaughn482 said:

granitefalcon26 As follows:
Just keep going down that path. At this rate, you’re well on your way to becoming a full-blown junkie.🙄
Let’s be honest: Xanax is nothing more than a temporary bandage for a gaping wound. It might serve as your first line of defense when things get chaotic, but don't mistake a quick fix for a cure. In my experience, that pill hasn't actually healed a single soul; it just masks the symptoms while the underlying issues continue to fester right under the surface.🙄

I am acutely aware of the reality here—that nearly everyone on an AT&T regimen is also juggling some form of anxiolytic just to stay afloat. It is a disheartening cycle, isn't it? I see so many people who have been cycling through these medications for years, yet they remain trapped in the same mental loops, never truly finding that elusive shore of recovery. I find myself yearning for a different path, a different chemical architecture altogether, but I feel adrift without a compass. What exactly are you taking, and did you ever actually reach a state of remission? You possess a distinct advantage in this regard; being a physician means you have the agency to pivot and swap out your AT&T every single month, whereas my doctor remains stubbornly fixed in her ways. Since she refuses to budge, I am turning to you for guidance. Could you recommend an AT&T that actually targets anxiety, panic, and this relentless hypochondria? I am willing to experiment if it means finally finding relief. So far, my experience with Zoloft was a total wash, and even the small dose of Calixium I’m currently managing seems to have absolutely zero impact on my anxiety levels. I would be profoundly grateful for any insight you can offer.

P.S. And let me be perfectly clear: I am not suggesting that I have descended into the ranks of the true junkies. Regardless of how others might perceive my situation, I remain firmly convinced that there is a far more profound level of damage inflicted by consuming something like AT&T over a three-year stretch. That said, one has to tip their hat to the potency of Dawn; it’s truly something else.
What is your take on Solian—or amisulpride, to be precise? I currently have a small stash sitting here at home: about twenty 100 mg tablets.

No pill on this planet is going to "cure" any mental illness.

Meds just give you the tools to heal yourself. 🙂

Elizabeth Castillo87 said:Maybe. But aren't those experiences kind of like little windows that give us a fleeting glimpse of pure consciousness—windows we purposely slam shut because we're too terrified to actually face what's on the other side?

When you're on different frequencies, with different centers activated under different brain conditions, space, the world, time, and how you see yourself in it look completely different.

Who's to say this mundane, everyday reality is any more "true" or less of an illusion than what we see when our perception shifts—when suddenly we aren't even in our bodies anymore, but hovering two feet above ourselves, looking down at our double sitting there, a little to the right...

This standard reality might not be more "real" or less illusory than the stuff we see in altered states, but somehow, we're just incredibly tethered to it, even when we see right through the illusion.

If an experience is transformative and expands someone's understanding, then yeah, it's worth something. If it drives a person insane, then no, it's not. For me, these little periscopes we use to peek out of our bodies and test reality feel like a claustrophobic limitation. That's why many of these expanded perception experiences feel to me like, say, being born without the sense of hearing, never having heard a single sound in my life, and then suddenly someone introduces me to the entire world of audio. An entire dimension opens up right in front of you, and it's valuable on so many levels that I don't even want to get into it...

Exactly. Like any experience, these things are only valuable if we actually take them seriously. I think we tend to dismiss them, mostly because they scare the hell out of us.

I mean, man, it’s a tough call. Think about how our modern civilization would handle someone like Francis of Assisi showing up in the middle of Times Square, stripping down, and announcing he’s heading into the woods to live with the animals. Total meltdown, right? Or what if Buddha just walked up to a crowd and claimed he’d lived through 99,000 different lifetimes? People would lose it. Honestly, I can't even imagine how guys like Krishnamurti or Maharishi would fare today—they'd probably be handed a prescription by a psychiatrist before they could even finish their first sentence.
That's why I'm saying, you really have to be careful with how you approach it.

The real question we should be asking, though, is why the hell all those miracles used to happen back in the day, yet today, it feels like absolutely nothing happens.

Honestly, it’s incredibly easy to trip over the line where deep spiritual breakthroughs end and full-blown psychotic breaks begin.

You really have to walk on thin ice with this stuff—you can't just assume every wild vision is some divine gift.

Are we talking about a ride-or-die best friend here, or just some random acquaintance you run into at the coffee shop?

Brian Hayes43 said:That sounds like Joe Rogan territory—when you find yourself trying to convince your own mind that a paranoid delusion is actually the objective truth. In those moments, the difficulty lies in the discernment itself.

Psychosis is basically when you're physically incapable of entertaining any idea that contradicts the one currently breaking your brain.

Take, say, thinking someone is following you—in that moment, you can't even wrap your head around the possibility that it's just nonsense, because your own mind won't let that door even crack open.