Posts by Chris Kim16

quietbadger11 said:I went through a divorce about four years ago, and since then, my ex-wife and I have managed to stay on really good terms. We still head out on summer vacations together, and we actually go shopping together every now and then since she doesn't have a car.
I do all of this primarily so our little guy feels secure, and I can see how much it helps him to know that Mom and Dad are still on friendly terms.
Still, at the end of the day, he can clearly see that we aren't living under the same roof anymore, and we both know that isn't ideal for a child.
It’s only natural that a mother and father should raise their child together, isn't it?
But I just try to be present for him as much as possible, and I truly hope he grows up to be a well-adjusted, kind person.

There’s really no need to explain yourself—everyone handles their life differently, right? It just caught me off guard to see that this isn't such an isolated situation.

William Thompson10 said:Exactly—mom, and just mom.

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or being self-righteous about it. It’s more about those heavy moments when I see my son’s sadness, for instance, because his dad couldn't make it out for a bike ride due to exhaustion. He was really looking forward to us all riding together. That's just one small example from a long list. Honestly, I feel like I'm failing at every turn, constantly feeling like I'm falling short as a parent.
The biggest waves of judgment and criticism usually hit when I mention that I went to the coast with my ex-wife. 😁.
I can already see the backlash starting here, too.

quietbadger11 said:You're actually heading to the coast with your ex??
Count me in too, 🙂

Really? I actually thought my ex had completely lost his mind when he suggested it—but apparently, it’s way more common than I thought.

And the biggest mistake... if you ask me, it's failing to recognize what a child actually needs. Those are the moments that stick with you as childhood trauma.

Adam Flores3 said:Exactly! 👍There really is nothing more irritating than hearing, "Just wait until you have a kid; you won't even remember you had cats." 🙄Look, we aren't all programmed the same way. My cats have been my constant companions for seven years now... so I usually just shut that down by saying, "We already have two kids; this would be our third." ☕And let's be honest, real parents don't draw distinctions between their children.😁

It would be a different story if someone who actually lived with pets while raising a baby said that—speaking from experience, you know?—but otherwise...
I actually call my pets "kids" when I'm addressing the whole group at once. And they respond perfectly well! ☕

I got so annoyed today by a comment saying, "Now the dogs will just take a backseat!"
As if—obviously they were just temporary placeholders until the baby arrived, right? Now I'll just toss them out in the yard and hope they're happy if I bother to feed them once in a while. 🙄

urbantinker8 said:It’s great that you aren't struggling.👍
Still, I think it would be perfectly fine if someone just asked whether you wanted to grab a seat on the subway or if you'd rather stand in front of them when they spot your bump...
And if you don't want to sit, you can just tell them you're fine standing for all five stops.

For me, though, things are, well, extremely difficult; both of my pregnancies have been high-risk, and I've basically been on strict bed rest since day one.
I can't really stand up or walk around properly. 😢
I’d probably bet my kidney on getting a seat on the bus, but I’m still civilized enough not to force people out of their seats on public transit. 🙂

I'm also glad it hasn't been too tough for me.
I rarely use public transit, but I agree—it would be nice. It doesn't bother me much right now, though; I'm sure that'll change once things get physically demanding.
But I totally get that some women feel terrible regardless of how big their bump is—sometimes you just have to get things done. My first three or four months were a total disaster, even before anyone could tell I was pregnant, so I definitely have empathy for those who are struggling. Besides, I had these issues before I was even pregnant. It's really just about manners—some people just don't have them.

I have to admit—I’m definitely not feeling "pregnant" yet—and it actually bugs me when I notice people staring at my stomach. Honestly, things like cutting in line or being given special treatment don't even cross my mind. Since I don't even view myself as pregnant right now, why should anyone else?
I assume I might change my tune toward the end, but for now, I really can't say that anything is difficult.

It’s just a vest—helps protect your kidneys and stuff. 😁 Honestly, even women who wouldn't be caught dead in one usually start wearing them once they're pregnant! I went through a bit of a rough patch myself, but I still haven't picked one up. 🙂

Ugh, that whole "how are you doing?" question really gets under my skin sometimes.
Honestly, the "is everything okay?" version is even worse—it’s so nagging. My mother-in-law calls me basically every other day just to ask that one thing. It actually starts making me spiral into these dark, anxious thoughts because I don't even think about things being "wrong"—I mean, how am I supposed to know if everything is fine when I'm just waiting for my next doctor's appointment? 🙂

Then there's my mom, who tried to push this old vest on me the other day because she thinks all pregnant women live in vests. I can say whatever I want, but let's be real—hardly any pregnant woman isn't wearing a vest at some point. 🙄

I guess everyone around me has just accepted that I’m a little bit eccentric—so nobody has actually said anything about my kid living in a house with four dogs. They're all indoor pets, obviously. 😁
I really hope they don't start talking about it.

1) Do you feel like drugs are a presence in your city?
a) Yes

2) In this day and age—do you think drugs are easy to get a hold of?
a) Yes

3) Has anyone ever actually offered you drugs? (Any kind, light or heavy)
a) Yes

4) Have you ever been put in a situation where you were pressured to try something?
b) No

5) Have you ever actually used any drugs?
b) No

6) Have any of your friends ever tried them?
a) Yes

7) Where is it easiest to find drugs?
a) At music festivals

8) Do you think legalizing softer drugs would actually stop kids from using them?
b) No

9) Why do young people start using?
a) Out of boredom b) To prove themselves
c) Just curiosity d) Having the wrong role models
e) Various family or life issues
A little bit of everything, really.

10) Are you well-versed in the side effects of drug use and specific types?
a) Yes
11) Do you think drug use is just another trend we've imported from other developed nations?
a) Yes
12) What’s the most effective way to cut down usage among youth?
a) Better communication within the family
c) Bringing informative lectures into schools to show the dangers

13) Looking ahead ten years—do you think youth drug use will:
a) Increase

14) Do you think kids from wealthier families are more prone to using drugs?
b) No