What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Look, honey, if they’re footing the entire bill, you really should have seen this coming—it’s practically written in the stars when someone else holds the purse strings.

In my case, neither myself nor my partner had anyone paying for a single thing; we were entirely self-sufficient. Of course, that meant his mother and aunt felt entitled to stick their noses in every single detail—and when things didn't go exactly according to their specific little blueprints, they took it as a personal insult.

At the end of the day, your best bet is to focus on making yourself and your own mother happy—trying to please everyone else is a losing game you can't win.
And since you're pregnant... honestly, I wouldn't subject myself to this kind of unnecessary stress if I were in your shoes. It’s just not worth the toll it takes on you.
Besides, is there any actual reason you need to be rushing through a wedding and dealing with all this chaos while you're expecting?

So, my mother-in-law—the same woman who, just six days ago, decided to dig up some ancient grievances and stress me out so badly I nearly went into premature labor—just sent me this incredibly casual text: "Hey sweetie, how are you doing???" Honestly, what am I even supposed to say to that? Nothing. I didn't give her a single word back.

feralpanther11 said:So, my mother-in-law—the same woman who, just six days ago, decided to dig up some ancient grievances and stress me out so badly I nearly went into premature labor—just sent me this incredibly casual text: "Hey sweetie, how are you doing???" Honestly, what am I even supposed to say to that? Nothing. I didn't give her a single word back.

"Well, it's certainly easier once they aren't standing right in front of you" 😍

It’s not just bad... it's actually the worst. Honestly. It feels so incredibly stupid to be thinking about mothers-in-law while you're literally carrying a child... fighting for a life. I guess what I’ve noticed is... sure, there are definitely problematic mothers-in-law and parents out there. But the craziest part? Most of those issues stem from the very women who raised those sons in the first place. It’s such a dark cycle, it's almost hard to believe...😵🤮

feralpanther11 said:Look, honey, if they’re footing the entire bill, you really should have seen this coming—it’s practically written in the stars when someone else holds the purse strings.

In my case, neither myself nor my partner had anyone paying for a single thing; we were entirely self-sufficient. Of course, that meant his mother and aunt felt entitled to stick their noses in every single detail—and when things didn't go exactly according to their specific little blueprints, they took it as a personal insult.

At the end of the day, your best bet is to focus on making yourself and your own mother happy—trying to please everyone else is a losing game you can't win.
And since you're pregnant... honestly, I wouldn't subject myself to this kind of unnecessary stress if I were in your shoes. It’s just not worth the toll it takes on you.
Besides, is there any actual reason you need to be rushing through a wedding and dealing with all this chaos while you're expecting?

Because I have to—that's the reality. I wouldn't choose to have a wedding right now if it were up to me, but we don't really have a choice. My partner and I aren't making the calls here because our financial situation is such that we're essentially forced to let them take the lead. We'll let them pay, but we fully intend to pay them back, and we're praying that the gifts from half the guests will cover the remaining costs. The hardest part is knowing that I'm hurting both myself and my baby with all this tension; my partner and I end up bickering over every little thing, which leaves us both feeling miserable afterward. 😢 It breaks my heart that I won't actually get to enjoy my own wedding, instead just swaying around heavily 😢 and counting down the minutes until every single guest finally heads home.😢

Steven Harris16 said:Because I have to—that's the reality. I wouldn't choose to have a wedding right now if it were up to me, but we don't really have a choice. My partner and I aren't making the calls here because our financial situation is such that we're essentially forced to let them take the lead. We'll let them pay, but we fully intend to pay them back, and we're praying that the gifts from half the guests will cover the remaining costs. The hardest part is knowing that I'm hurting both myself and my baby with all this tension; my partner and I end up bickering over every little thing, which leaves us both feeling miserable afterward. 😢 It breaks my heart that I won't actually get to enjoy my own wedding, instead just swaying around heavily 😢 and counting down the minutes until every single guest finally heads home.😢

🤔 I don't get it. 🤷 Why would you have to get hitched right now? And why does it even need to be this massive, crazy blowout for 500 people?

If I were in your shoes (which I'm not—I've got two kids with my partner without being married, and plenty of other girls here too 😁), I’d just do a quick courthouse thing with two witnesses and a nice dinner. Then, once the baby is a year or two old, throw the big party for everyone—and by then, you'll have had time to save up some cash so you can do it exactly how you want. 😉

Yeah. I honestly don't get why you feel this pressure to tie the knot right now or even bother with a big wedding at all.

If it’s just about getting the legal paperwork out of the way... man, just head down to the courthouse. Nobody needs to know. Tell them you're pushing the big celebration back and call it a day.

Sorry, but I wouldn't want that kind of stress weighing on my mind.

On another note, I was totally fine during my own wedding, even though I was seven months pregnant. Even with the constant morning sickness and being unable to sleep a wink the night before, I still had plenty of energy. I was actually hyper enough to stay up until 5 AM.

Steven Harris16, I’m sorry you find yourself in such a mess that you feel forced to dance to someone else's tune, but I fear once you commit to that performance, you might spend the rest of your life acting as nothing more than a puppet... and 😲 one really ought to fight for their own convictions and choices. You're going to be a parent soon; you can't let your own parents make every single decision for you...

Robin Myers said:Steven Harris16, I’m sorry you find yourself in such a mess that you feel forced to dance to someone else's tune, but I fear once you commit to that performance, you might spend the rest of your life acting as nothing more than a puppet... and 😲 one really ought to fight for their own convictions and choices. You're going to be a parent soon; you can't let your own parents make every single decision for you...

I'm right there with you.
Within the first week of marriage, I already had to put my heels down with my in-laws because they wouldn't stop meddling in things that have absolutely nothing to do with them.

It didn't work perfectly at first—they still try to run the show sometimes—but I haven't backed down. I think sticking to my guns is finally paying off. I'm already seeing progress.

Besides, now I have the perfect excuse, haha. If I ever get too blunt and snap at them about something bothering me... I'll just shrug and say, "Ugh, hormones... well, you know what happens when you push me." 😂

Steven Harris16 said:Because I have to—that's the reality. I wouldn't choose to have a wedding right now if it were up to me, but we don't really have a choice. My partner and I aren't making the calls here because our financial situation is such that we're essentially forced to let them take the lead. We'll let them pay, but we fully intend to pay them back, and we're praying that the gifts from half the guests will cover the remaining costs. The hardest part is knowing that I'm hurting both myself and my baby with all this tension; my partner and I end up bickering over every little thing, which leaves us both feeling miserable afterward. 😢 It breaks my heart that I won't actually get to enjoy my own wedding, instead just swaying around heavily 😢 and counting down the minutes until every single guest finally heads home.😢

Why do you have to? You're an adult—you're responsible for yourself. You don't have to do anything just because someone else dictates it... You and your partner need to sit down, talk about what you actually want for the wedding, and set some boundaries. It's not your parents getting married, it's you guys, and you should be the ones enjoying the day. If you cave now, they're just going to keep pushing you regarding the baby and everything else later on...

Think about yourself and the little life inside you...

velvettiger15 said:🤔 I don't get it. 🤷 Why would you have to get hitched right now? And why does it even need to be this massive, crazy blowout for 500 people?

If I were in your shoes (which I'm not—I've got two kids with my partner without being married, and plenty of other girls here too 😁), I’d just do a quick courthouse thing with two witnesses and a nice dinner. Then, once the baby is a year or two old, throw the big party for everyone—and by then, you'll have had time to save up some cash so you can do it exactly how you want. 😉

That’s exactly what we did, and it couldn't have been better... Only the witnesses knew the plans. We went out to dinner and just enjoyed ourselves—I actually felt nauseous that day. Maybe you'll resent your parents for this approach, but it's your life, not theirs.

Look, Steven Harris16, you don't owe me anything—really. But honestly, no matter what advice you throw my way, it’s all just noise... My only genuine hope here is that everything works out for the best, and that you and your partner can finally find some common ground and cut down on the constant bickering.
Best of luck.

Lisa Rivera said:"Well, it's certainly easier once they aren't standing right in front of you" 😍

Hmm... quite good, actually. 🙂
Though, I think I'll refrain from commenting further—I'm just hoping she realizes it’s in her best interest to stop calling me, because if she doesn't, I certainly have plenty to say about it.

Steven Harris16 said:Because I have to—that's the reality. I wouldn't choose to have a wedding right now if it were up to me, but we don't really have a choice. My partner and I aren't making the calls here because our financial situation is such that we're essentially forced to let them take the lead. We'll let them pay, but we fully intend to pay them back, and we're praying that the gifts from half the guests will cover the remaining costs. The hardest part is knowing that I'm hurting both myself and my baby with all this tension; my partner and I end up bickering over every little thing, which leaves us both feeling miserable afterward. 😢 It breaks my heart that I won't actually get to enjoy my own wedding, instead just swaying around heavily 😢 and counting down the minutes until every single guest finally heads home.😢

Look, honey, you don't owe anyone anything. If getting married is what matters to you, just go to the courthouse and get it done, then deal with the church ceremony and the baby's christening later. At this point, the christening is basically going to feel like a mini-wedding anyway. Don't let them screw you over... I know how it feels, trust me. I didn't let people meddle with my wedding when they weren't even footing the bill, so they had zero right to say a word. It was nothing but constant whining—like, this aunt felt insulted because she wasn't invited, or that guy is loaded so we should get more money from him, etc. If they want to give us money, they can do that without us having to throw a whole production.

velvettiger15 said:🤔 I don't get it. 🤷 Why would you have to get hitched right now? And why does it even need to be this massive, crazy blowout for 500 people?

If I were in your shoes (which I'm not—I've got two kids with my partner without being married, and plenty of other girls here too 😁), I’d just do a quick courthouse thing with two witnesses and a nice dinner. Then, once the baby is a year or two old, throw the big party for everyone—and by then, you'll have had time to save up some cash so you can do it exactly how you want. 😉

👍
That's basically what I was trying to say, just a little late to the party.
It honestly drives me crazy when people act like you *have* to get married just because a baby is on the way. Honestly, you might as well just drop dead, nothing else.

Robin Myers said:Steven Harris16, I’m sorry you find yourself in such a mess that you feel forced to dance to someone else's tune, but I fear once you commit to that performance, you might spend the rest of your life acting as nothing more than a puppet... and 😲 one really ought to fight for their own convictions and choices. You're going to be a parent soon; you can't let your own parents make every single decision for you...

You've got a point there. They're probably gonna hear about how their folks paid for the whole wedding for the rest of their lives—or worse, if they hadn't paid for it, people would just gossip about how they didn't get all that cash the newlyweds usually walk away with. It'll be the talk of the town forever.

Let me weigh in here for a second...
I’m seven months along now, sporting a massive belly, yet I’ve only gained about nine pounds total. Everything else just slimmed down and migrated straight to my gut!😁
And honestly, the bigger the bump gets, the more invisible I feel when I'm riding the subway or the bus!😠
The other day, I’m on the bus, and there are two ladies sitting there—maybe in their mid-40s. One starts to stand up, and the other snaps at her, "Why are you getting up? It's not your fault she's pregnant!" 😲 The first one just goes, "You're right!" and sits right back down... Meanwhile, I’m standing there after five long years of IVF... Absolutely brutal... 😢
Then there was this other time on a forty-five-minute bus ride. No seats available, and I’m struggling with all my grocery bags. I’m standing by the folding doors, just waiting for someone to get off so I can finally sit. At the third stop, a gentleman stands up and heads toward the exit. I start picking my bags up off the floor and move toward his seat... Suddenly, this guy from Zetovac notices the opening and practically lunges—literally jumps!—toward the seat, beating me to it by a single step. He sits down and actually says, "Sorry, I can't read my newspaper while standing!" 😲 And nobody says a word... I just had to stand there for the remaining forty-five minutes until the last stop. 😢
There’s plenty more where that came from, but those two gems really take the cake...👎
On the bright side, though, I’m lucky enough that my mother-in-law is an absolute sweeeeeeeeetheart... 🙏 (Yes, yes, they actually exist!😁)

Everything you all are suggesting sounds perfectly reasonable, especially this idea of combining the christening with the wedding 😍 I actually went as far as suggesting to my partner that we should just wait until the baby is a bit older, so they can be the one to carry the rings down the aisle 😍 The thing is, everyone in his family is incredibly devout; they honestly can't wrap their heads around the concept of me having a child before we're officially married 😲 I mean, look... it’s not that we aren't planning on getting married, it’s just a matter of timing, right? 😕
We have a big family lunch scheduled in a week with both our sets of parents, and I’m bracing myself because I have a nagging feeling it’s going to end in a massive blowout 😂😂 My family and his are worlds apart—complete opposites when it comes to how they view things. My parents are being very pragmatic about the reality of our situation; they see that neither of us has a steady job right now, and they think he needs to find work and move on from university, because at the end of the day, we need a way to actually survive 😕 Meanwhile, his folks are insisting he stay in school so he can eventually land a high-paying career—even though I know for a fact they don't have the kind of money to support us. And let's be honest, even if my dad were an ExxonMobil executive, I doubt we'd be receiving a monthly allowance every single month for years to come, much less them, who struggle to cover their own basic expenses, haha 😂😂

I mean, what’s the big deal if you have kids before getting married? Honestly, how many people are in that exact same situation and doing just fine? Don't let them start dictating your life like that—if you give in now, they'll just keep pushing.
And as for him needing to drop out of college to find a full-time job—who even says that? I guess he should just focus on finishing his degree, and in the meantime, maybe just pick up some part-time gigs through a temp agency or something...

amberangler said:Let me weigh in here for a second...
I’m seven months along now, sporting a massive belly, yet I’ve only gained about nine pounds total. Everything else just slimmed down and migrated straight to my gut!😁
And honestly, the bigger the bump gets, the more invisible I feel when I'm riding the subway or the bus!😠
The other day, I’m on the bus, and there are two ladies sitting there—maybe in their mid-40s. One starts to stand up, and the other snaps at her, "Why are you getting up? It's not your fault she's pregnant!" 😲 The first one just goes, "You're right!" and sits right back down... Meanwhile, I’m standing there after five long years of IVF... Absolutely brutal... 😢
Then there was this other time on a forty-five-minute bus ride. No seats available, and I’m struggling with all my grocery bags. I’m standing by the folding doors, just waiting for someone to get off so I can finally sit. At the third stop, a gentleman stands up and heads toward the exit. I start picking my bags up off the floor and move toward his seat... Suddenly, this guy from Zetovac notices the opening and practically lunges—literally jumps!—toward the seat, beating me to it by a single step. He sits down and actually says, "Sorry, I can't read my newspaper while standing!" 😲 And nobody says a word... I just had to stand there for the remaining forty-five minutes until the last stop. 😢
There’s plenty more where that came from, but those two gems really take the cake...👎
On the bright side, though, I’m lucky enough that my mother-in-law is an absolute sweeeeeeeeetheart... 🙏 (Yes, yes, they actually exist!😁)

I'm speechless.

What a nation, man. Truly terrible. Absolutely pathetic.

Steven Harris16 said:Everything you all are suggesting sounds perfectly reasonable, especially this idea of combining the christening with the wedding 😍 I actually went as far as suggesting to my partner that we should just wait until the baby is a bit older, so they can be the one to carry the rings down the aisle 😍 The thing is, everyone in his family is incredibly devout; they honestly can't wrap their heads around the concept of me having a child before we're officially married 😲 I mean, look... it’s not that we aren't planning on getting married, it’s just a matter of timing, right? 😕
We have a big family lunch scheduled in a week with both our sets of parents, and I’m bracing myself because I have a nagging feeling it’s going to end in a massive blowout 😂😂 My family and his are worlds apart—complete opposites when it comes to how they view things. My parents are being very pragmatic about the reality of our situation; they see that neither of us has a steady job right now, and they think he needs to find work and move on from university, because at the end of the day, we need a way to actually survive 😕 Meanwhile, his folks are insisting he stay in school so he can eventually land a high-paying career—even though I know for a fact they don't have the kind of money to support us. And let's be honest, even if my dad were an ExxonMobil executive, I doubt we'd be receiving a monthly allowance every single month for years to come, much less them, who struggle to cover their own basic expenses, haha 😂😂

Look, dear, you are completely delusional. Both of you are currently unemployed and broke—honestly, being in your position right now is a recipe for disaster. How could you both be so incredibly reckless as to bring a child into this world without a single shred of financial stability or a plan in place? It’s pure negligence. And that is exactly why you find yourself stuck in this corner—you just have to sit there, keep your mouth shut, and deal with the consequences.
It’s honestly a bit tragic—you’re essentially letting the older generation hold all the cards, and they’ll likely keep you under their thumb for a very long time to come. I’d venture to guess you'll be stuck living under that same roof indefinitely.
Best of luck!