Posts by velvetcobra65

I suppose I fall into the "cheerful people" category, though if I had to pick, I’d probably land in that first group mentioned by unknown. I’m not superficial; I actually care about people and I try to stay rational. I don't sugarcoat things for anyone—honestly, I'm not even big on nicknames. Lately, though, I haven't been feeling all that happy. I don't fake being bubbly when I'm not, especially since I've dealt with way too much heavy stuff in such a short amount of time lately.
Even so, no matter how down I feel, I can't help but smile at a baby passing by, or give a friendly nod to an elderly neighbor, or genuinely ask someone how they're doing. It isn't because I have to; it's just who I am. And I have zero interest in changing that just because someone else can't wrap their head around the fact that I'm simply not the type of person to hold a grudge against the world. Even when things get brutal, I'll still try to find something positive to smile about.

On the flip side, the second someone tries to get all "sweetie-pie" with me in a professional setting, I immediately shut down. I just don't trust people who act that familiar without having earned it. Or if you're an acquaintance and you start with the whole "Oh my god, you're so precious, so lovely..." routine, only to immediately start trashing someone else? No, thanks! To be honest, I'm not exactly thrilled by people who are constantly messed up or perpetually grumpy for no actual reason. I mean, whatever—anyone can be unhappy, angry, or irritated sometimes... but not for years on end.
I really think life would be a lot simpler and a whole lot better if we just realized that life isn't some endless valley of misery. There are usually more reasons to smile than there are to walk around acting like everyone on the street personally ruined your entire life.

Lawrence Bailey77 said:🙂 .. I honestly have no idea what you're talking about 😉

Last year, I practically tore myself apart because of you, and knowing full well I'll never lay eyes on you again: rofl:

aah, how frightening .. I'm certainly not the first, nor will I be the last, to fear the great blue expanse😒

Just wanted to say I'm glad you're doing okay now (and actually being sincere about it for once)

.. the worst part is definitely behind us .. and it hasn't happened again 🙂

And you didn't even ask for my time or my care

Nothing personal 🙂 ... though I suppose I don't really have the habit of asking 🙂

if there isn't another choice, then walking away from toxic society and a weak character is just saying goodbye

Everyone is just obsessed with satisfying their own needs; there's no altruism, just ignorance, callousness, retreating into one's own little bubble—there is no humanity, no friendship, no love, not for oneself, not for others, not for nature, animals, or anything else. And we just keep staring at it, over and over...

Let's not fall back into that old, tired, egotistical lecture regarding all things "noble" .. I suppose my critique is purely technical .. in truth, altruism is a need just as much as humanism is, or perhaps sadism and negligence are .. everything a person does, they do out of necessity .. when one strips away the traditional platitudes and looks through the lens of common sense, regardless of which path they take, one arrives at the logical conclusion that man is the origin of everything he is .. and whatever he does, he does out of needs that are motivated by one thing or another .. but those needs are quite real and very much present.

I was just listening to something recently—though I can’t quite recall the exact source—about how "evil" or malicious people rarely view themselves that way. It seems they are all under the impression that their actions are inherently good, or at least sufficiently justified by some internal logic. I suppose one has to wonder if such a mindset is even graspable. 🙂

The reality is that everyone errs; you, myself, all of us. So, when someone approaches you claiming that everything you say is "wrong" or that you are causing harm to others... well, would you truly change who you are? I highly doubt it. To me, it feels like this entire discussion is just an attempt to reach those who simply don't have the time for "you"—those who couldn't care less, essentially. So...

A question for the group:
Are there certain people you simply don't make time for because they aren't even on your radar?

P.S. Just imagine someone raised within a cannibalistic tribe. 😬 To them, it wouldn't be a tragedy if their younger brother ate three more people than they did; it would just be life. 😬

🙂
I’m one of those people who steps up to save something, even when they don't want anyone to come to their rescue

Then maybe don't go forcing yourself into social circles. You’ve been through something absolutely horrific... and maybe this is just one bad moment in a long string of them. Because of that, you probably think everyone else sees the world the way you do. They don't. They don't see it because they haven't lived through what you have. Honestly, I think group therapy might actually help you, if there's even anything available around here for people who have lost loved ones.
A friend of mine had her life taken seven years ago... killed by her husband. She left behind two incredible sons—both of them incredibly talented, handsome kids. After that happened, the older one just completely shut down. He broke up with his girlfriend (he was only 18 at the time) because he felt like she didn't get him, he ditched his friends, dropped out of school... and he carries this crushing guilt, thinking that if he had just been there... but he couldn't have been there. Seven years later, he still won't leave the house.
Other people just can't understand you. Even if someone else went through something similar, it’s still not the same thing. We all process trauma differently. Just try to realize that there was nothing you could have done to change it... most things in our lives are completely out of our control, no matter how much we want them to be different... or how much it hurts.

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Dearly beloved, and anyone else who finds themselves in a similar state of mind 😍

There is a fundamental process... it’s simply called life... and that is all there is, I suppose. Everything else—all the noise—is just a human construct, a vision, a desire, or perhaps a perceived need 🙂

Have you ever considered that there might be people out there longing for your attention and your time, yet you have never once spared a thought for them, nor even realized they exist in your orbit? 🧐

People are passing away every single day... there is no justice here... there is no God watching over us... the universe is entirely indifferent to how any individual feels or thinks. In my own weary experience, I believe life should prioritize the individual first, and only then, if one chooses to build a relationship with another, should it be based on shared criteria and mutual compromise ☕

I wonder, honestly, how many human beings have breathed their last since this discussion was first initiated? 😉

How many of them possessed enough strength to pray, or perhaps just hope, that someone might actually step in to help? Some sensitive souls who still possess a heart and an ounce of empathy for another person... well, let me tell you... we are all, in some sense, children together we stand - divided we fall 🕺

One ought to sweep their own doorstep clean 🙂 before attempting to venture out into the world... assuming, of course, that one still possesses the will and the energy left after such a thorough cleaning 😬

Don't even bother responding.😁
Last year, I practically ate myself alive because of you, and I know I'll never see your face again.🤣
I just wanted to say I'm glad you're doing okay now (and actually being real about it for once).
And honestly, you didn't even ask for my time or my support.
I always try to make time for people, but on the flip side, I've learned not to chase anyone who doesn't sit right with me. Or, you know, not to chase people who can't be bothered to check in on me once in a blue moon (even though it seems like their lives are perfectly curated and fine). If you call me, I'm here; if you don't, well, what am I supposed to do?
I had this situation where my best friend (who was also my maid of honor) and my husband's buddy (our best man) "forgot" to mention they were moving in together. Then they hit us with the news much later that they’d already gotten married, acting like they didn't want to bother me. What a total fuck up. Like I could just sprint from the hospital bed straight to a wedding reception? It was ridiculous. I'll share things if they matter in my life, but I'm not interested in the drama. If I don't have time for people, I'm certainly not going to kill myself trying to manufacture it. That's just how it is.

Kate Morgan14 said:It’s a good setup, sure, but it’s also really the only affordable option if you don't have school-based childcare available. Hiring someone to stay home with a kid for a few hours would cost me way more... this way, I don't have to stress about homework or studying, which is a massive relief. Even now, with the schools closed due to the strike, it's working out perfectly—we can just coordinate with them whenever it suits my schedule...

I never said it wasn't worth it; I was just thinking about what a typical salary looks like here in America.

$267 for after-school care? Honestly, sounds like a sweet deal. I’m living in the States right now, and between daycare and after-school programs, we end up paying about $300 total including meals. But it really depends on what you pull in—if someone is just scraping by on minimum wage, they might only drop $100. My kid absolutely loves his after-school program. The staff is great, the lunch is decent, and they always throw in a little dessert. Plus, they have different activities like art or tennis, and when he has sports practice, the sitters actually walk him over to the gym since it’s a bit of a trek, which saves us from having to hike all the way there just to drop him off. By law here, kids under 11 aren't supposed to be left unsupervised for long stretches—like five hours or whatever. As for private sitters, you're looking at maybe $10 an hour if you're doing things off the books.

amberorca17 said:Subjectively speaking? Money. If you've got enough cash to actually live your life, experience things, and enjoy yourself instead of just whining on Reddit, then you're winning. 🙂

Look, you can be loaded and still have zero clue how to actually enjoy life. I get this feeling that the more money I make, the less I actually have fun, mostly because my schedule gets packed and my responsibilities pile up—kind of like what Lawrence Bailey77 was saying about money being its own kind of obligation. 🙂If you're just sitting there waiting for a windfall to fix everything... well, maybe try changing things up now. Who knows, maybe you'll hit the jackpot or win the Powerball in the meantime. 🙂