People who are always "too busy

Anyone else running into this? It feels like everyone in my age group—childhood friends, old classmates, people I grew up with—suddenly has zero time for even a quick drink or a casual hangout.
For years now, I’ve been hearing the same old excuses from people who can’t spare even thirty minutes for a quick catch-up. They claim they’re too busy on Fridays, too busy on weekends, too busy during the week... summer or winter, it doesn't matter. It's always something: kids, spouses, work, money stress, mortgages, utility bills... Look, most of us have wives, kids, job pressure, and financial headaches too, but I don't see why that should make it impossible to grab a beer and actually hang out.

James Taylor28 said:Anyone else running into this? It feels like everyone in my age group—childhood friends, old classmates, people I grew up with—suddenly has zero time for even a quick drink or a casual hangout.
For years now, I’ve been hearing the same old excuses from people who can’t spare even thirty minutes for a quick catch-up. They claim they’re too busy on Fridays, too busy on weekends, too busy during the week... summer or winter, it doesn't matter. It's always something: kids, spouses, work, money stress, mortgages, utility bills... Look, most of us have wives, kids, job pressure, and financial headaches too, but I don't see why that should make it impossible to grab a beer and actually hang out.

I used to wonder about that myself, until I finally realized that people always find time for what they actually want to do, and for everything else? Yeah, they don't. Honestly, you might be better off just accepting it and realizing that, for whatever reason, they don't really want you around. You can either keep pushing and forcing yourself on them, which is just sad, or you can just swallow it and move on to something more productive and try to find people who actually enjoy your company.

This whole thread just triggered a memory of a truly bizarre situation I once witnessed.

There was this local eccentric—someone clearly out of touch with reality—who happened to see a minor local politician power-walking along the waterfront. This guy was strutting down the pier with this massive "I am incredibly important" attitude, acting as if he were the most high-powered executive in the country, far too busy and prestigious to even spare a second to acknowledge anyone or offer a simple hello.

Anyway, this eccentric approaches him right in the middle of the boardwalk, stops him dead in his tracks, and says (I'll call him Peter): "Peter, I totally get it. I feel exactly the same way when I miss my medication." 😁

I know the type.
Guy was practically like a brother to me, known him for two decades, yet he somehow "doesn't have time" even for a quick Starbucks run.
It wasn't even a big blowout fight or anything, we didn't really clash... it just happened, the connection just snapped.
I guess you just have to scrub people like that from your memory, move on, and never look back.

If you really want something, you’ll find the way and the time to make it happen. But if you don't? Well, you'll just come up with a million excuses. It's as simple as that.

It’s the same story with pretty much everything else in life, isn't it? Some people will go looking for trouble even when things are going great, while others can actually find a silver lining right in the middle of a mess. People are just wired differently.

I’ve actually gone through those same doubts myself, and honestly, it used to really bother me. But lately? I just don't give those situations a second thought. If I can't find the time to be there for someone, I certainly won't go out of my way to squeeze them in if they suddenly "find" the time for me only when it suits them. At the end of the day, is anyone truly worth chasing down like that? I don't think so.😁It can feel incredibly lonely if you don't have a solid circle of friends around you at that moment, I get that. But isn't it better to just embrace your own company until you find a group that actually fits? It's far better to spend time alone than to spend it begging for scraps of attention from people who aren't making you a priority. If they were genuine friends, they would make the time—everything else is just an excuse.

If they suddenly find the time to reach out, there’s usually a reason behind it, right? Most of the time, it’s because they actually need something from you.

Carl Rivera43 said:If they suddenly find the time to reach out, there’s usually a reason behind it, right? Most of the time, it’s because they actually need something from you.

It's usually about money, khm khm... ☕

Carl Rivera43 said:If they suddenly find the time to reach out, there’s usually a reason behind it, right? Most of the time, it’s because they actually need something from you.

Amen to that. I had this one guy who was basically my best friend for years, right? Now, he only hits me up when he needs a favor. Back then, I didn't really get it—I'd just jump in and help him out without thinking. But now? Not anymore. I just tell him exactly who he should call instead and what his hourly rate is gonna be for whatever he's trying to pull.☕

And honestly? Just stay far away from people who only see you as a way to get stuff. They aren't being fair to you, at all. It’s so important to just say "no" when you need to.

People who don't make time for you don't deserve your time. It’s just simple math. 🍿

Daniel Kelly57 said:People who don't make time for you don't deserve your time. It’s just simple math. 🍿

Spot on. You only get one life, right? Why waste precious minutes on people who aren't playing fair?

Those are just excuses. I mean, if someone actually wants to make an effort, they'll find the time. If they don't, they'll just keep making up reasons why they can't. A day has 24 hours; you can get everything done if you actually try.

Are we actually realizing that real friendship has to be a two-way street? It’s about being the kind of friend someone else can rely on, rather than just sitting around waiting for them to show up exactly when and where you want them to. Reaching out every few months just to grab a coffee at Starbucks doesn't really cut it—unless that’s the kind of superficial connection you're looking for. People who play that game also have to accept that the other person might not even want to grab a drink or hang out with them. Friendship requires actual effort. In a true friendship, much like in a relationship, you don't demand things; you give. Of course, if someone is just using you, then run. At that point, it isn't even a friendship anymore...
Another issue stemming from how we live today is that everyone is just completely overwhelmed. We're constantly bombarded by information, endless demands, and noise from every direction. Between the house, the job, the bar, a partner, mortgage payments, arguments, addiction, violence, or even kids in foster care... it's enough to push anyone over the edge, honestly. Who can even manage to be a good friend these days when people struggle to give their own children any real time or attention? Times have changed, our values have shifted, and the whole lifestyle is just different now...

Times have changed for people who want to frame things that way, but honestly? Aside from this massive tech revolution we're living through, most of what we do is pretty much the same as it was decades ago.

Carl Rivera43 said:Times have changed for people who want to frame things that way, but honestly? Aside from this massive tech revolution we're living through, most of what we do is pretty much the same as it was decades ago.

Actually, it really has. Just ask anyone who’s been around the block a few times more than the rest of us. 🧐

So, I’m sitting here thinking about 1492, and you know what Columbus once said? He claimed the whole mechanism of human nature is logically illogical. It’s wild, right? If you're on his side, then everything makes sense. If you aren't? Well, then you're just out of luck. That would be the vision—though, let's be honest, reality often tells a different story than the rumors flying around town.

I don't get why everyone is so shocked by this.
As people get older, they just stop hanging out as much—it’s nothing personal, they just don't feel the need to broadcast their business to the world anymore. If they do run into someone they know, it’s usually just a quick "Hey, how's it going?" before moving on with their day.
Real friends? Man, those are hard to find, and if you actually have one, hold onto them tight. For me, a true friend is someone I can vent to about my entire private life, knowing—without a shadow of a doubt—that everything stays between us. Are there people like that out there? Honestly, hardly anyone. Personally, I've never been the type to go digging into other people's drama anyway. And hey, if you're bored and looking for some tea, just come hang out and read the threads here 😁
. Most of my time goes to my family and relatives—the people I actually care about, who I can tell absolutely anything to, knowing they'll always have my back (and I'll have theirs).
With neighbors, it’s mostly just polite small talk about the weather or whatever.
It’s just how things are these days, I guess. We've got the internet, so we can look up literally anything we want. We don't really need to go asking people for info anymore. Google knows everything 😁

I suppose I don't really have the bandwidth right now to dwell on this topic much more than necessary. 🙂

Andrew Doyle said:This whole thread just triggered a memory of a truly bizarre situation I once witnessed.

There was this local eccentric—someone clearly out of touch with reality—who happened to see a minor local politician power-walking along the waterfront. This guy was strutting down the pier with this massive "I am incredibly important" attitude, acting as if he were the most high-powered executive in the country, far too busy and prestigious to even spare a second to acknowledge anyone or offer a simple hello.

Anyway, this eccentric approaches him right in the middle of the boardwalk, stops him dead in his tracks, and says (I'll call him Peter): "Peter, I totally get it. I feel exactly the same way when I miss my medication." 😁

Haha, fair enough! 😬

Everyone’s got free time; it just comes down to who they actually want to spend it with.