Posts by Maria Newman14

Donna White50 said:Those "extra" pounds you say you have? They aren't actually the problem... they're just how you're compensating. You're projecting this negative self-image onto your physical appearance—thinking that being overweight means you don't deserve happiness, or pleasure, or for things to get better in life.
Even if you hit your goal weight—which isn't even that hard, just a few months of dieting—you probably wouldn't feel any better. Honestly, it might be easier to stay a little curvy just so you have a reason to feel bad... We all have this tendency to spiral like that, looking for external proof of our internal insecurities, whether it’s through how we look or how we act (like telling ourselves "I don't deserve to go out," "I don't deserve a relationship," or "I don't deserve success").
But you also have this drive to prove yourself because of those deep-seated insecurities, except you only focus on things you can totally control—like perfectionism, crushing it at college, or keeping up appearances with friends...
The second anything slips out of your absolute control—like going out, being in a new environment, meeting strangers, or even dating a guy—you just totally freak out and all those negative emotions come crashing down like an avalanche...

It feels like you haven't actually built real self-confidence yet; you've just built a way to compensate for its absence. It's like you're on a scale—on one side, you've got this pile of self-doubt and negativity, and on the other, you're trying to balance it out with personal achievements, intelligence, and social life...
As soon as that balance shifts, your whole world feels like it's falling apart...
If you actually had genuine confidence, you wouldn't give a damn about ten extra pounds, what people think of you, or what your parents think. You'd tell anyone exactly what's on your mind without worrying about being judged. You'd go out and socialize because you actually want to have fun, and you'd date someone because you want to express your feelings and your sexuality with someone who's actually attractive, fun, and catches your eye...

So, just really think about whether what I'm saying rings true. Real confidence comes from doing the inner work. From what I can tell, you have a pretty decent life, so you shouldn't be struggling this much...

Could you please elaborate on that? How specifically does one build confidence through self-work?

Sophia White8 said:Of course your cycle is off, because the patch didn't stay on for the full duration it was supposed to. I suppose you could compare this to someone taking birth control pills but stopping after 10 days instead of the usual 21. It disrupts everything because your body isn't getting the hormone dose it expects, while at the same time, you've interrupted the natural hormonal rhythm. The bleeding you experienced probably wasn't a real period—it was likely just withdrawal bleeding. Ideally, you should have checked in with a gynecologist before stopping, as they might have prescribed a full cycle of pills to stabilize things. Since you've already stopped, maybe you just need to wait for your body to realize what happened and restart its own hormone production. In theory, you might be waiting up to six weeks for your next period, though I guess it varies from person to person. Or, you could see a doctor now, and they might suggest a single cycle of pills to get things back on track. This is all assuming you aren't pregnant, of course. I really hope you're using backup protection, because you aren't protected anymore now that the patches are gone.

My doctor gave me pills but told me to start them on the first day of my period, and I've been waiting a week now. I'm fully aware that I'm not protected since I took the patch off. But seriously, how effective is it if you use a condom just before ejaculation rather than right from the start? Ugh, I know I sound like I'm fifteen...

Thanks 🙂

I tried using Evra patches, but they just didn't work for me. Around the third week, one of them started peeling off, which caused some spotting. The instructions say if a patch loses its seal, you should start a new pack and a new cycle immediately 😕 so, that’s exactly what I did. Essentially, I was supposed to skip a period. But a week into this new cycle, I started bleeding again. I took the patch off right away and decided I was done with them entirely. To be specific, I removed it early in the second cycle following the initial issue where the first patch peeled. That bleeding felt just like a period. It’s been a month since then, and I still haven't had a regular period now that I've stopped all contraception.

Is it possible I messed up my cycle by switching patches mid-stream, or should I just go buy a pregnancy test? 😢