Highly sensitive people (HSPs)
in Psychology & Therapy ·
frozenlynx4 said:Judith Orloff has focused a ton on empaths (she is one herself) and writes a lot about it. Just look into it, there's tons of stuff out there. She even wrote The Empath's Survival Guide : Life strategies for sensitive People.
Thank you so much.
I suppose that’s true—though I’m honestly not convinced that’s a mandatory trait for everyone who identifies as sensitive, nor do I believe that every single sensitive person fits that exact mold.
I’ve always possessed this certain natural sense of detachment—it’s like having a built-in buffer zone that saves my skin more often than I’d care to admit—but as for everything else? Well, I’m fairly certain that consistent practice and meditation have been the real game-changers.
Perhaps that isn't necessarily a required trait—though, of course, that really depends on what the experts have to say about it.
So, I’ve been thinking lately—how exactly do you all approach your fitness routine? I mean, we all know the importance of staying active, but everyone seems to have such a wildly different philosophy when it comes to actually getting moving. For some, it’s that disciplined, early-morning grind at a place like Equinox—strictly scheduled, high intensity, and totally non-negotiable. Then you have the folks who prefer something much more laid back—maybe a long, winding stroll through Central Park or just some casual yoga in the living room while listening to a podcast. It’s almost like comparing a high-performance engine to a steady, reliable cruiser; both get you where you need to go, but the experience is night and day! I’m curious to hear your take—are you a "no pain, no gain" type of person, or do you treat exercise more like a way to decompress after a long day at the office? What does your daily movement look like?
That's me—guilty as charged!
So, I just had a sit-down with my neurologist—and let me tell you, it was quite the revelation. She explained that I’m dealing with a chemical deficiency in my brain—specifically, a chronic lack of serotonin. It’s one of those things that could be baked into my DNA from the jump, though she did leave the door open to the idea that it might not be purely genetic. It’s a bit like having a faulty fuel pump in a high-performance engine; the car is great, but if the fuel isn't flowing right, you're going to feel the drag.
I’ve gone through endless rounds of testing—everything from scans to specialist consults—because I just couldn't ignore these constant pressures in my head, that strange numbness in parts of my body, and the general aches that seemed to follow me around. It was exhausting. To my relief, both my neurological exams and cardiac tests came back perfectly clean—no red flags there. So, predictably, the focus has shifted entirely toward my mental health and getting an assessment from a psychiatrist.
So, I finally got some clarity—I’ve been officially diagnosed with anxiety disorders and somatic symptom disorder. It’s one of those things where the mind and the body basically decide to hold a meeting without your permission, and everything just goes haywire. To tackle it all, I'm diving into psychotherapy to work through the root causes. It feels like a long road ahead, but at least now there's a roadmap.
My neurologist actually suggested ramping up my physical activity—and I don't mean a casual stroll through the park. We’re talking intense, high-intensity workouts that really get my heart rate climbing. The idea is to flood my brain with enough oxygen and serotonin to help pull everything back into balance. If that doesn't do the trick, she mentioned we might have to look into starting an AD.
It’s actually quite fascinating—my psychiatrist picked up on my anxiety almost immediately, yet she didn't see any signs of depression. It’s a strange distinction, really, because while I certainly deal with those periodic low moods that dip into depressive territory, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a depressed person per se.
To be perfectly honest—and I mean this from the bottom of my heart—I don’t come across as depressed at all to the outside world. In fact, quite the opposite! I’m often the one driving the bus—the initiator, the spark plug, the person making sure things actually happen. But there's a catch—it’s exhausting. It’s a constant, parallel drain on my energy because, more often than not, I feel like I’m pouring everything I have into the glass, only to realize I'm receiving next to nothing in return.
And now, we turn our attention to the intricate web of human connections—whether we’re talking about the bonds of friendship or the complexities of romantic love.
To be perfectly honest—and I say this with all due respect to the previous points made—that particular field isn't exactly a perfect solution either, and frankly, it’s for the exact same reasons I just laid out.
My past relationships have almost always followed the same exhausting pattern—they were short, intense, and ultimately draining. I had this habit of gravitating toward what I call "emotional vampires." It was like being caught in a constant cycle of empathy where I’d end up carrying the emotional weight for both people. I would pour everything I had into making things work, constantly overextending myself, while the other person just sat back and took advantage of that energy. It left me feeling completely depleted every single time.
Because of everything I've been through, I struggle quite a bit with attachment—it’s become a real hurdle for me. These days, I’m incredibly cautious and selective about who I let into my life. It isn't just about being picky, though; it's a defense mechanism—I simply have no desire to endure that level of heartache during a relationship, nor do I want to face the absolute wreckage that comes after a breakup.
I’ve walked away from quite a few friendships myself—often because the reciprocity just wasn't there. It’s a frustrating imbalance. Most of the time, my approach is to simply fade out—sort of a quiet withdrawal where I stop engaging and let the connection die a natural death through silence. That said, there have been a handful of instances where things were messy enough that I felt the need to be much more direct about cutting ties.
A lot of my friends have insisted—or at least used that word quite a bit—that I’m "needy." Even my housemate has thrown that label my way. Honestly? I don't think it's accurate at all. If anything, the only way I could possibly be considered "needy" is that I sometimes feel like I'm not getting the level of attention or connection I need from the people around me.
I almost threw my coffee out the window this morning—honestly, I was that close! It triggers such a massive wave of anxiety in me, which is so frustrating because it seems like everyone else around me just sips their lattes and goes about their day without a single issue. For me, though, it’s a total nervous system overload.
I only manage to catch some sleep when I’m feeling truly, deeply at peace—which, let's be honest, is a pretty rare occurrence around here.
That’s exactly why matcha and other teas work so perfectly for me—they hit that sweet spot without the chaos—though, let’s be honest, they just don't provide that same massive kick I get from a cup of coffee.
Yeah, the news cycle absolutely wrecks me—especially lately with all this COVID stuff. Honestly, I’m a total skeptic when it comes to the whole thing, but that lingering doubt just feeds right into my anxiety.
Growing up, I was basically obsessed with reading the crime section in the local paper and bingeing true crime shows; I'm convinced that's where the seed of my anxiety was planted. It colors how I see everything today—for instance, even though I have my driver's license, I rarely actually get behind the wheel because I'm constantly fretting over those endless highway accidents you see on the news.
It isn't just that I don't feel a sense of national pride—I actually feel a bit of a disconnect, almost a distaste, toward the culture here. Having spent so much time in international circles, I can say with total honesty that you tend to encounter much higher-quality people abroad. Sure, there's trash everywhere, but generally speaking, the mindset out there just aligns with mine much better.
Because of that, I spend most of my time daydreaming about moving overseas. The only thing holding me back is my career path—I studied sociology, which isn't exactly the most lucrative field, and since I'm in my late 20s without a solid professional foundation due to a lack of opportunities, I feel stuck in these dead-end agency jobs with zero upward mobility.
In short, I'd say frequent mood swings and a general sense of dissatisfaction with life are pretty much hallmark traits for people like us.
Have any of you found effective ways to set boundaries and stop yourselves from soaking up all that negativity?
I've noticed that if I drink store-bought, processed teas, my irritability and emotions feel way more intense. On the other hand, brewing my own herbal tea at home really helps me unwind, so that's my go-to ritual in the evenings.