Did I mess up? The devil's path + a lesson learned
in Spirituality ·
Quote : art with Heart
I grew up straddling two worlds—part city kid, part rural transplant. I spent my early years out in the sticks with my parents, right next door to my grandparents who kept an eye on us kids while Mom and Dad were working. There was no daycare or preschool back then; you just relied on family. So, when I talk about rural life, I actually know what I’m talking about. People tend to have this incredibly unrealistic, romanticized view of living out in the country. The reality? The biggest headache is the complete lack of decent options. Whether you need specific goods or essential services—like reliable healthcare—everything is a massive trek away. You end up burning through gas just as fast as someone living in downtown Chicago, if not more. And don't even get me started on late autumn and winter. It's brutal. Between the flooding, the mud, and the heavy snow, a standard sedan is basically useless. To make matters worse, the local county road crews aren't exactly known for their lightning-fast snow removal.
I work with a man who went through this exact scenario with his wife. Once the kids arrived, they hit a breaking point. They realized that lifestyle just wasn't sustainable—the overhead was astronomical because everything was so isolated. They had to handle every little thing themselves, and he found he had zero time left to actually focus on the business that pays the bills. So, they liquidated everything and moved back to the city.
People raised in big cities often fall into the same trap: they fail to look far enough ahead. They romanticize rural life as this grand escape, purely because they lack any actual experience with what that lifestyle entails. In their heads, it’s all idyllic—a total fairytale. Then, once they actually make the move, reality hits them like a freight train, shattering those illusions almost immediately. As for the author, from what I can gather, he’s someone who hasn't quite found his footing in life yet. He’s looking for shortcuts. It seems to me that moving to the countryside feels like a natural progression for him only because his expectations for life are plummeting. It looks like a classic case of a man retreating from society before he’s even bothered to prepare the ground.
So, he claims he doesn't know who he is, so he goes out and buys a mountain of psychology books to "find himself." Honestly? He’s never going to find himself that way. I’ve laid out my reasoning, but it’s simple: when someone just retreats from life, nothing actually happens to force them out of their comfort zone. They aren't taking responsibility for their actions or facing the consequences that follow every choice they make regarding a new situation. One might argue that his decision to move out to some rural town in Montana is a response to his current circumstances, but it isn't. Looking at his writing, it's clear he's simply lowering his expectations of life. He’s automatically pivoting toward a bare-minimum existence. That is never a valid reason for change; rather, it’s a massive red flag that he’s sinking deeper into depression.
Look, I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist, but let's just say I know exactly what I'm talking about here. If someone has actually built a career, laid down the groundwork for their next few years, sat down with their partner to hash it all out, and genuinely knows what they want from a transition—then they're ready. This isn't about that mindset where you think, "I'll just buy a hundred self-help books to finally figure out who I am." No. That person has already done the work. They haven't just collected books on identity; they've actually lived through the stages of life required to understand who they truly are and what they want.
The individual in question seems to be navigating some kind of crisis—perhaps even an existential one—given his increasingly antisocial tendencies. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I love my solitude; I crave quiet and isolation. I’m a heavy introvert. But there is a massive difference between being an introvert and being antisocial, a distinction people constantly fail to grasp. I’ve lived this. I dropped out during my final year of college and wiped my entire social media presence off the face of the earth over six years ago. My goal wasn't to hide, but to dial down the social noise. Constant engagement was mentally draining me to the point where I couldn't focus on what actually matters. As an introvert, I simply narrowed my circle to the few people I truly consider friends. I travel whenever the opportunity arises, I dive into endless new projects, and I stay busy. In short, I seek out challenges—not to escape life, but to experience as much of it as possible. If I ever decide to move out to a quiet ranch in Montana, it will only be once I’ve fully lived; once I'm tired of the grind and have my affairs in order. I know who I am. I don't need a textbook to explain my psyche because I’ve already gone through my own "reset" button. My questions are intended to force him to reflect on whether he has actually thought this through or if he even has a viable plan in place. Of course, my way isn't a universal blueprint, nor is it a perfect fit for everyone. Once he answers my questions, then I'll be able to conclude whether I made a mistake or if he did.
And then there’s this defensive posturing whenever someone (like myself) asks a direct question—something like, "don't trigger a crisis"—as if asking isn't an issue. Forgive me, but such questions can't trigger anything that doesn't already exist. 😉
PS. Furthermore, if a person makes their living trading cryptocurrency, that essentially means they spend most of their days staring at a screen. Unless there is a plan for his wife to manage the entire household while he sits in front of a monitor, things simply won't work. People from major cities like New York City usually head to the countryside for peace once they've achieved success; this individual, however, is far from successful. His motivation for leaving seems to be an attempt to take shortcuts toward a lifestyle he thinks will suit him. In essence, he is aiming for a lower standard rather than setting higher ones for himself. This isn't to say I am disparaging rural life; it specifically refers to how he views the country as an escape from life's challenges and responsibilities, which it is not. Based on what he wrote, I highly doubt he engages in any physical activity. Honestly, the way he phrased everything smells like the onset of severe depression to me. He is clearly dreaming through his prose. Perhaps he should consult a psychologist—just as a recreational exercise—to figure out the root cause of this desire for isolation and flight. There is a massive difference between moving to the country for concrete reasons and moving there with the sole aim of isolating oneself from the world without ever having mapped out what that actually entails. As I said, the countryside isn't a fairy tale. It involves a tremendous amount of labor.
I won't even get into the complexities of growing fruits and vegetables and the myriad problems every "beginner" faces. There is an enormous learning curve: grafting trees, transplanting, protecting against viruses and bacteria, treating plant wounds, controlling reproduction and ripening, and investing in protective supplies that aren't cheap. Any money saved by skipping the subway, buses, or Ubers in the city will likely end up being spent right there. Of course, one could try to cut costs by buying copper sulfate themselves and mixing their own lime or Bordeaux mixture and managing the spraying and protection manually—it isn't rocket science, but you need to be responsible and possess at least a shred of logic regarding chemistry. And while checking on plants once a day might suffice, animals require a minimum of three check-ins daily for proper care. Ultimately, it is quite easy for his expenses to exceed what they were in the city. For instance, 70 fruit trees would provide enough for a family of four for a year. So, just to start, if he and his partner intend to save on food so they don't have to run to the grocery store constantly, they would need at least 30-35 trees. That is just to cover the basics for sweets, acids, vitamins, and minerals—well, most of them, anyway—throughout the entire year. As for vegetables, to get that second dose of vitamins and minerals, they'll need a greenhouse; otherwise, they'll only have one harvest per year, which won't come close to being sufficient. Then there's the requirement of at least 12 chickens plus one rooster for weekly egg production. If he wants meat, he’ll have to learn how to slaughter and prepare those same chickens, not to mention raising chicks... basically, the country is no place for those fleeing from life or those who think they can sit in front of a computer all day dealing solely with online businesses. I say this because he keeps talking about minimalism. Yet, investing in crypto is gambling; you never know when you're about to lose everything. It is a different matter entirely for people with actual jobs and reliable incomes. That is why I say he is dreaming.
And who do you think you are?! 😁
ruggedhawk20 said:Hey, don't go giving the guy an existential crisis.
It's not that big of a deal. He could end up broke and living on welfare. There's nothing scary about that—unless, obviously, you live for what other people think of you.
Look, if you've got food in your belly and a roof over your head, you're set. Realistically—honestly—we don't even need more than that.
And there’s zero shame in just not wanting to grind all day. If anything, it's better. This planet would be a way more chill place to live if 99% of the population wasn't obsessed with hoarding stuff just to flex on their neighbors. It's just this endless, hellish cycle where we basically end up enslaving ourselves.
I grew up straddling two worlds—part city kid, part rural transplant. I spent my early years out in the sticks with my parents, right next door to my grandparents who kept an eye on us kids while Mom and Dad were working. There was no daycare or preschool back then; you just relied on family. So, when I talk about rural life, I actually know what I’m talking about. People tend to have this incredibly unrealistic, romanticized view of living out in the country. The reality? The biggest headache is the complete lack of decent options. Whether you need specific goods or essential services—like reliable healthcare—everything is a massive trek away. You end up burning through gas just as fast as someone living in downtown Chicago, if not more. And don't even get me started on late autumn and winter. It's brutal. Between the flooding, the mud, and the heavy snow, a standard sedan is basically useless. To make matters worse, the local county road crews aren't exactly known for their lightning-fast snow removal.
I work with a man who went through this exact scenario with his wife. Once the kids arrived, they hit a breaking point. They realized that lifestyle just wasn't sustainable—the overhead was astronomical because everything was so isolated. They had to handle every little thing themselves, and he found he had zero time left to actually focus on the business that pays the bills. So, they liquidated everything and moved back to the city.
People raised in big cities often fall into the same trap: they fail to look far enough ahead. They romanticize rural life as this grand escape, purely because they lack any actual experience with what that lifestyle entails. In their heads, it’s all idyllic—a total fairytale. Then, once they actually make the move, reality hits them like a freight train, shattering those illusions almost immediately. As for the author, from what I can gather, he’s someone who hasn't quite found his footing in life yet. He’s looking for shortcuts. It seems to me that moving to the countryside feels like a natural progression for him only because his expectations for life are plummeting. It looks like a classic case of a man retreating from society before he’s even bothered to prepare the ground.
So, he claims he doesn't know who he is, so he goes out and buys a mountain of psychology books to "find himself." Honestly? He’s never going to find himself that way. I’ve laid out my reasoning, but it’s simple: when someone just retreats from life, nothing actually happens to force them out of their comfort zone. They aren't taking responsibility for their actions or facing the consequences that follow every choice they make regarding a new situation. One might argue that his decision to move out to some rural town in Montana is a response to his current circumstances, but it isn't. Looking at his writing, it's clear he's simply lowering his expectations of life. He’s automatically pivoting toward a bare-minimum existence. That is never a valid reason for change; rather, it’s a massive red flag that he’s sinking deeper into depression.
Look, I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist, but let's just say I know exactly what I'm talking about here. If someone has actually built a career, laid down the groundwork for their next few years, sat down with their partner to hash it all out, and genuinely knows what they want from a transition—then they're ready. This isn't about that mindset where you think, "I'll just buy a hundred self-help books to finally figure out who I am." No. That person has already done the work. They haven't just collected books on identity; they've actually lived through the stages of life required to understand who they truly are and what they want.
The individual in question seems to be navigating some kind of crisis—perhaps even an existential one—given his increasingly antisocial tendencies. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I love my solitude; I crave quiet and isolation. I’m a heavy introvert. But there is a massive difference between being an introvert and being antisocial, a distinction people constantly fail to grasp. I’ve lived this. I dropped out during my final year of college and wiped my entire social media presence off the face of the earth over six years ago. My goal wasn't to hide, but to dial down the social noise. Constant engagement was mentally draining me to the point where I couldn't focus on what actually matters. As an introvert, I simply narrowed my circle to the few people I truly consider friends. I travel whenever the opportunity arises, I dive into endless new projects, and I stay busy. In short, I seek out challenges—not to escape life, but to experience as much of it as possible. If I ever decide to move out to a quiet ranch in Montana, it will only be once I’ve fully lived; once I'm tired of the grind and have my affairs in order. I know who I am. I don't need a textbook to explain my psyche because I’ve already gone through my own "reset" button. My questions are intended to force him to reflect on whether he has actually thought this through or if he even has a viable plan in place. Of course, my way isn't a universal blueprint, nor is it a perfect fit for everyone. Once he answers my questions, then I'll be able to conclude whether I made a mistake or if he did.
And then there’s this defensive posturing whenever someone (like myself) asks a direct question—something like, "don't trigger a crisis"—as if asking isn't an issue. Forgive me, but such questions can't trigger anything that doesn't already exist. 😉
PS. Furthermore, if a person makes their living trading cryptocurrency, that essentially means they spend most of their days staring at a screen. Unless there is a plan for his wife to manage the entire household while he sits in front of a monitor, things simply won't work. People from major cities like New York City usually head to the countryside for peace once they've achieved success; this individual, however, is far from successful. His motivation for leaving seems to be an attempt to take shortcuts toward a lifestyle he thinks will suit him. In essence, he is aiming for a lower standard rather than setting higher ones for himself. This isn't to say I am disparaging rural life; it specifically refers to how he views the country as an escape from life's challenges and responsibilities, which it is not. Based on what he wrote, I highly doubt he engages in any physical activity. Honestly, the way he phrased everything smells like the onset of severe depression to me. He is clearly dreaming through his prose. Perhaps he should consult a psychologist—just as a recreational exercise—to figure out the root cause of this desire for isolation and flight. There is a massive difference between moving to the country for concrete reasons and moving there with the sole aim of isolating oneself from the world without ever having mapped out what that actually entails. As I said, the countryside isn't a fairy tale. It involves a tremendous amount of labor.
I won't even get into the complexities of growing fruits and vegetables and the myriad problems every "beginner" faces. There is an enormous learning curve: grafting trees, transplanting, protecting against viruses and bacteria, treating plant wounds, controlling reproduction and ripening, and investing in protective supplies that aren't cheap. Any money saved by skipping the subway, buses, or Ubers in the city will likely end up being spent right there. Of course, one could try to cut costs by buying copper sulfate themselves and mixing their own lime or Bordeaux mixture and managing the spraying and protection manually—it isn't rocket science, but you need to be responsible and possess at least a shred of logic regarding chemistry. And while checking on plants once a day might suffice, animals require a minimum of three check-ins daily for proper care. Ultimately, it is quite easy for his expenses to exceed what they were in the city. For instance, 70 fruit trees would provide enough for a family of four for a year. So, just to start, if he and his partner intend to save on food so they don't have to run to the grocery store constantly, they would need at least 30-35 trees. That is just to cover the basics for sweets, acids, vitamins, and minerals—well, most of them, anyway—throughout the entire year. As for vegetables, to get that second dose of vitamins and minerals, they'll need a greenhouse; otherwise, they'll only have one harvest per year, which won't come close to being sufficient. Then there's the requirement of at least 12 chickens plus one rooster for weekly egg production. If he wants meat, he’ll have to learn how to slaughter and prepare those same chickens, not to mention raising chicks... basically, the country is no place for those fleeing from life or those who think they can sit in front of a computer all day dealing solely with online businesses. I say this because he keeps talking about minimalism. Yet, investing in crypto is gambling; you never know when you're about to lose everything. It is a different matter entirely for people with actual jobs and reliable incomes. That is why I say he is dreaming.
And who do you think you are?! 😁