Posts by fadedcobra7

Rachel Richardson said:But what about the actual experience...?🍿

Is there a story out there where someone actually experienced the end of the world—and realistically, they probably should have?🤔

Nobody has actually said anything like that.
Are you seriously suggesting a scam should be the end of the world? 🍿

Austin Bailey3 said:You write with such wisdom that I can't even bring myself to read it. Honestly, I wouldn't dream of ever cheating on you.🙂

hehe You know, at the end of the day, every deception is really just a lie told to oneself.😛

Rachel Richardson said:And I assume it was always about something trivial, wasn't it?🤔

What do you mean by trivial? 🙂

Rachel Richardson said:The way certain personalities are characterized here—and the general thought paradigms at play—is quite fascinating.

It would be interesting to run a poll on this: based on your impressions, which forum members do you think might be the ones cheating, and who is most likely to be the victim of infidelity?🤣

Topics regarding discretion—or rather, the confession of one's own "misdeeds"—are equally intriguing, though that’s a conversation for another time.

Has anyone here actually admitted to cheating, or perhaps being cheated on?

Subtle nuances here—very subtle. 🧐

@Duxi, very well put.👍

A few people owned up to it, some stayed totally silent, and others just agreed with whatever was said. 😁

Rachel Richardson said:It goes deeper than that.

Let's look at these responses—it's essentially a binary system built on a flawed premise from the jump (like being asked if your mother knows you're a lesbian, for instance).

Who's going to say they'd rather be the one cheating?
Maybe someone doing it out of pure spite, or someone who simply prioritizes their own ego above all else.
Or perhaps an egocentric loner who couldn't care less about anyone else's feelings?

And who would say they'd rather be the victim of infidelity?
There’s even a bit of a perceived moral high ground there—since, technically, you haven't done anything wrong yet—but...
It assumes bad choices were made and leads directly into playing the victim.

I think this topic of the day is great. You get to see how people actually think, what they value, and how honest they really are with themselves and everyone else. It’s like a logic puzzle where there isn't one "correct" answer. You just watch how someone navigates the situation and where they choose to start solving it. 😉

feralranger said:And how on earth does that even matter?

I merely stated that my jealousy levels are slightly below the national average... though, broadly speaking, the balance between philia and eros in my own relationships remains pretty much aligned with what most people experience emotionally.

The only thing is, I have a profound distaste for platitudes—those empty little catchphrases that everyone else seems to swallow whole. I prefer to call things exactly what they are, which, quite frankly, tends to rub the mainstream, unthinking masses the wrong way.

Look, if you ask me, you're just overthinking it. Theory is one thing, but reality is a whole different beast.

You’d think anyone would be happy if their partner decided to "go out and spread the love." 😬

feralranger said:Oh, naturally (and not just in this particular corner of the internet)—it’s simply because I refuse to be categorized as a man of "opinion" who fits neatly into the mainstream mold.

I merely expressed my interest in peering beneath the surface of what most people consider trivial or painfully obvious.

PS
The usual crowd from the gossip threads over on the other forum has arrived as well. 😁

So, have you actually put those views into practice? Are you actually in a polyamorous relationship?

Even my girlfriend was like, "Let's ring in New Year's together." We make all these plans, get everything lined up, and then she just flakes on me to hit up some party with someone else? Honestly, I’d lose my mind.

It’s the exact same thing if a partner says, "I'm going to open up my inner world to you and we'll have this deep, exclusive connection," only to go out to some random bar, come home, and act like nothing ever happened. They didn't share anything.

This isn't about being jealous. It's about broken promises, betrayal, and straight-up lying.

A busted circuit board 🤣

Bryan King3 said:See, there's a massive distinction here—fraud is an actual legal matter, a specific type of activity that the US justice system steps in to penalize.
Infidelity, on the other hand, is a completely different beast altogether.

Solid point. There was a time when adultery was actually legally sanctioned too.

Do you all think it should stay that way, or has enough changed?

When two people stand before an official and swear their vows, they agree to certain terms that carry legal weight—like one partner being responsible for the other's debts if a tragic accident happens tomorrow.

feralranger said:I find myself preoccupied with psychology... specifically, the fascinating nature of human self-deception. One could argue that almost every politician in Washington claims to be driven by pure altruism, and if we put them all through a polygraph, the machines might not even register a "lie" simply because most individuals have successfully convinced themselves of their own sincerity. However, I remain acutely aware of these psychological delusions, which allows me to see through the facade. It is that underlying psychological layer—that sub-layer beneath the conscious persona—that truly fascinates me when discussing topics such as these.

So, are you actually in a polyamorous relationship right now?

I know a few people living that lifestyle—mostly couples in open relationships, but also a couple of trios.

coastalwalker9 said:It seems I have a knack for missing out on all the most amusing threads. 🙄

And what would Sisyphus say about this topic of the day? Would he be far too polite to admit it? 😁

He said he would, but his equipment is way too massive, so he's passing. 😁

Olivia Smith2 said:The truth is, you don't actually have infinite options. Once a move is made, the other person is caught in the game whether they want to be or not. What feels like freedom is often just a lack of alternatives, isn't it?
If I cheat on you, you really only have two paths: walk away or stay. Sure, you might know right now that you'd choose to stay—but who knows? Maybe someone else would have walked out the door immediately.

But let's be real—people often pick cheaters as partners because of their own internal glitches (usually subconscious ones). And that was a choice, even if it felt inevitable.

To actually figure out those flaws, you have to do some serious soul-searching. You can't just shrug and say the world is a dark place and you're always the innocent victim.

I'm a psychologist, so naturally, I'm going to advocate for deep therapy for anyone with a heartbeat. 🤣

Joseph Rivera75 said:The double standards here are fascinating.

People walk into a marriage, claim they were miserable and "innocent as a newborn babe," and suddenly they're the victim. Newsflash: you aren't.
Cheating isn't just about the physical act.
I'm not talking to you specifically, but it’s funny how people try to scrub their hands clean. They want all the benefits without any of the mess.

Exactly. People let themselves off the hook for all sorts of nonsense just because they claim to be "miserable." It's total bullshit. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness and how they treat others. That goes for both the cheater and the one being cheated on. We all make our own choices.

Olivia Smith2 said:This feels like it’s leaning quite a bit toward cuckold and cuckqueen territory—not that I’m not a fan, of course! 😁

At least it's played fair and square 😬

Heh, I know plenty of people who act like they’ve made amends, but deep down, they're still doing the exact same thing.
It sounds like you're just assuming your partner won't pick up on the vibes.
You can't claim to be authentic or truly intimate in a relationship if you're constantly keeping secrets.

If you aren't both on the same page, there's no way this works.

Melissa Rogers4 said:The whole idea of sharing a partner just doesn't sit right with me, even though I'm not really the jealous type. I want to have something that's just ours. It’s not about being possessive, it’s more that the sense of exclusivity kind of fades away in a (semi)open relationship. If we both view our connection the same way, then you shouldn't be doing things behind your partner's back. It's about trust, Sisyphus. Not jealousy...

+1, couldn't have said it better myself.

feralranger, you're assuming jealousy is the only reason people stick to monogamy, but that's just not true.

Maria Cox2 said:I could never bring myself to cheat on someone again
Nor would I ever dream of being the one who gets cheated on

Ultimately, whether one chooses to be faithful or deceptive is simply a matter of personal decision and one's own moral character

👍

feralranger said:In any material transaction, there is always a party that suffers a tangible loss.

When we shift our focus to emotional connections, if jealousy—that bitter cocktail of negative emotions—is entirely absent, then there isn't really a "victim" to speak of, which makes the very concept of "infidelity" feel rather nonsensical.

This highlights a fundamental distinction between what we might call *philia* love—which, for most people, lacks that suffocating jealousy or possessiveness, and thus rarely invites terms like "betrayal"—and erotic love, which tends to be inherently jealous and possessive, leading people to reach for heavy labels like "cheating" whenever a third party enters the equation.

Cheating is a betrayal of trust, a breach of agreement, lying, and acting inauthentically. What you’re talking about is something else entirely. Polyamory versus monogamy—regardless of which path people choose, the key is that they agreed to it and both parties consented and committed to those terms. Cheating happens when one person breaks that pact and hides it through deception. It’s pure dishonesty and a betrayal of trust.

feralmoose32 said:But we aren't talking about breakups, we're talking about infidelity

Look, I'm not trying to validate any excuse for them—seriously, let's move on from that already

To me, cheating is just the ultimate betrayal of trust...

Exactly.

And figuring out who is at fault in my book is simple. It's definitely the person who cheated. If they weren't happy in the relationship, they could have just ended it cleanly.

In many cases, cheating stems from a personality disorder—like Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A person feels this constant urge to conquer others just to get that "narcissistic supply" from different sources, boosting their own ego and proving to themselves how desirable they are to various partners.

Going back to my original point: it comes down to character, personality, and personal integrity.

Now, if you ask me what's harder to live with—short-term, it's easier to cheat, but long-term, it's much harder to deal with the fact that you cheated and spat on your own integrity. Even if you aren't in that relationship anymore, you still have to recalibrate with yourself and face the reality of being someone capable of breaking their word, regardless of the circumstances. Of course, not everyone cares about their integrity, but for me, it matters deeply.