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Topic of the day: Would you rather cheat or be cheated on?

Started by Ashley Vaughn79 · · 👁 7 views · 311 replies

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Participants Ashley Vaughn79dustypilot11Alexander Adams94amberhound8Adam Davis2quietbadger11Patrick Reed51Brandon Foster7Keith Cox6Amanda James27Gary RuizMelissa RiveraSam Jones8Gerald Gomez43feralmoose32Maria Cox2feralrangercoastalwalker9Austin Bailey3Charles Young56Thomas Nelson25Joseph Rivera75George Kim13fadedheron …
Ashley Vaughn79 Ashley Vaughn79 Active MemberOP
95 messages
joined Jan 2003
#1 ·
03.01. Would you rather be the cheater or the one being cheated on?

aquamarine blue said:Would you rather cheat or be cheated on?

Well, it's not like people say, "Oh, I could never cheat..." or "My partner would never cheat on me" anymore.

You have to pick one side. 🙂

And since... well, the answer to the weekend poll was that she'd rather cheat and explain later.
I guess I'm actually curious about why. 😁

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Topic of the day extracted from post 293. after topic of the day.
dustypilot11 dustypilot11 Member
33 messages
joined Nov 2010
#2 ·
Neither one, honestly.
Alexander Adams94 Alexander Adams94 Active Member
79 messages
joined Dec 2014
#3 ·
I’d honestly rather be cheated on if it meant I could blame someone else for being the bad guy. If I can point the finger at them, I can get angry, vent, and move on relatively quickly. But if I’m the one who acted like a jerk? That stays with you. I’ll still be cringing at myself ten years down the road. To me, that self-reproach hurts way more than being let down or blindsided by someone else.
amberhound8 amberhound8 Member
14 messages
joined Nov 2022
#4 ·
I mean, both of those options are just extreme ends of the spectrum, really. I guess what can you actually expect when people aren't exactly perfect? Personally, I’d probably rather just steer clear of both extremes and find a real, decent woman.
Adam Davis2 Adam Davis2 Member
21 messages
joined Jan 2023
#5 ·
Neither one, really...
quietbadger11 quietbadger11 Member
34 messages
joined Mar 2022
#6 ·
I’ve never been unfaithful. When I’m in a relationship, my partner is my entire world, and I just don't feel any urge to stray.
When I'm committed to someone, my whole focus is on making sure they feel loved and happy, so the idea of cheating and bringing that kind of shame upon them never even crosses my mind.
Besides, there's also the divine commandment against adultery, which makes the whole thing pretty senseless to me.

I actually know what it feels like to be cheated on, and honestly, it’s such a miserable, hollow feeling—it makes you feel completely worthless.
If a woman truly loves me, she would never want to inflict that kind of heartache on me.

I don't think I could ever forgive infidelity, either, because once I know someone has been with someone else, that spark is just gone.
At that point, they become a stranger to me, because if you were really willing to cheat, it proves we never truly knew one another in the first place.
Patrick Reed51 Patrick Reed51 Member
10 messages
joined Jan 2023
#7 ·
Could we perhaps select a slightly less heavy topic of the day for the New Year? I don't think I have the stomach for this one.🙂🙂🙂
Brandon Foster7 Brandon Foster7 Active Member
56 messages
joined Dec 2018
#8 ·
There’s no easier topic of the day. It’s like asking if I’d rather be the one performing or just sitting on my couch watching someone else do it.
Patrick Reed51 Patrick Reed51 Member
10 messages
joined Jan 2023
#9 ·
Brandon Foster7 said:There’s no easier topic of the day. It’s like asking if I’d rather be the one performing or just sitting on my couch watching someone else do it.

I disagree. Just look at the response from quietbadger11. Many people operate under the assumption that infidelity is an absolute dealbreaker—the ultimate reason to end a relationship. But then we have the loss of a loved one. Since when did losing someone dear become such a trivial topic of the day?
Brandon Foster7 Brandon Foster7 Active Member
56 messages
joined Dec 2018
#10 ·
You don't cheat on someone you actually love; when you're truly into them, you aren't even looking for an exit strategy.
Cheating happens when you’re just going through the motions because it's comfortable, acting like there's still passion when the spark is long gone. You do it for convenience, out of spite, to keep the paycheck coming, or just to keep up appearances for the neighbors.
It's basically living in a fog while pretending you're standing in the sunshine.

Everyone acts like they own me and tells me how to love, but fine—I'll play by the rules if I have to, but this is my life and I'm going to enjoy it.
Patrick Reed51 Patrick Reed51 Member
10 messages
joined Jan 2023
#11 ·
I really can't say, dear. I’m here for you, and since I have a bit more breathing room right now, I’ll refrain from passing judgment—given everything I’ve been through myself.
Keith Cox6 Keith Cox6 Member
34 messages
joined Feb 2010
#12 ·
I’d much rather be the one doing the cheating—mostly because I’m dead certain my "never again" rule would actually hold up. If I'm the one making the call, we could probably keep the partnership going without constant fighting or massive blowups.
But if I’m the one getting cheated on? If I’m the one left feeling betrayed, hurt, and totally let down? Honestly, no amount of "please forgive me" or pathetic concessions would be enough to make me stick around.

It might sound like a double standard 😬, but really, it just comes down to knowing someone's true character 😒
Amanda James27 Amanda James27 Member
18 messages
joined May 2021
#13 ·
Does this logic hold up for board games too? Asking for a friend... 👀
Gary Ruiz Gary Ruiz Member
10 messages
joined Dec 2021
#14 ·
Amanda James27 said:Does this logic hold up for board games too? Asking for a friend... 👀

🤣 You're always good in my book. 😁

Back to the topic of the day: I refuse to play like that! 🙂
Melissa Rivera Melissa Rivera Member
27 messages
joined Jan 2022
#15 ·
I'm staying out of this topic of the day because I was once deceived by someone, and honestly, it just drags me back to a really dark place I worked so hard to escape...
Sam Jones8 Sam Jones8 Member
48 messages
joined Jun 2021
#16 ·
Man, when I actually brought that up 🤣

I honestly don't even know anymore. Just feeling totally played
I want to be someone who actually has some integrity, you know? Someone who actually sticks to their word.
Ashley Vaughn79 Ashley Vaughn79 Active MemberOP
95 messages
joined Jan 2003
#17 ·
Sam Jones8 said:Man, when I actually brought that up 🤣

I honestly don't even know anymore. Just feeling totally played
I want to be someone who actually has some integrity, you know? Someone who actually sticks to their word.

Sorry, you didn't suggest it; I guess I just stole it from you. 😬
That would probably be more accurate. 🙂

But it really is a good question.
And maybe a bit harder to answer than I thought it would be, so... yeah, I guess I fall into that group of people who just lurk and read. 😁
Gerald Gomez43 Gerald Gomez43 Member
26 messages
joined Sep 2017
#18 ·
Amanda James27 said:Does this logic hold up for board games too? Asking for a friend... 👀

I probably shouldn't have even bothered checking the username.😁

Honestly,
to deceive—well, I couldn't do it if I tried. It just isn't in my nature, and frankly, I don't think I could live with myself. I’d likely just walk away the moment the thought of being dishonest even crossed my mind. 🤔
feralmoose32 feralmoose32 Regular
302 messages
joined Nov 2018
#19 ·
I’m honestly being so picky that I can’t even make up my mind—Sorry, I know... 😁
I don't cheat, ever, and I certainly wouldn't put up with anyone trying to deceive me. Period.

And just so I can get ahead of any haters out there—I have never once broken up with someone because of a third party 😛
Sam Jones8 Sam Jones8 Member
48 messages
joined Jun 2021
#20 ·
I wouldn't forgive them either.

Latice, look, it's fine 👍

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