frozenrider15 said:I’m glad the Quote finally landed. And just to be crystal clear—no, I wasn't talking about insurance premiums or those damn billboards. 🤣 I honestly don't get what this rhino is even talking about when he mentions "easing fear." What does that even mean? It's all just empty noise.
There’s absolutely no point in being terrified of what a kid might blurt out, whether they're at school or just lounging in the living room. It’s not about fear; it’s about perspective. You need to approach everything with a healthy dose of detachment rather than taking every word as gospel. Look, kids have massive imaginations—sometimes they misinterpret things entirely—and that’s why other parents can actually find themselves in this sentiment. If the preschool teachers had taken my little one's ramblings at face value, we could have easily ended up in a tense meeting with a guidance counselor or a child psychologist. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. They came to us first. They had enough trust in us to flag the situation before jumping to conclusions, allowing us to clear the air and set the record straight.
Sorry, but your quote doesn't actually say we should talk to kids with a sense of detachment. It says a professional is asking a parent to promise they won't believe every single thing the kid claims happened at school, while the teacher, in return, won't believe everything the kid says happened at home.
And no matter how humorous it sounds to you (even if it was taken out of context), it can be interpreted in a lot of different ways.
Personally, I think it's great that you brought up things like hitting or touching, and all the stuff kids might tell an institution—sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. Those are very real fears for parents.
I’m sorry you don't quite see the fears I’m talking about. Most professors I've dealt with (and people here on the forum, too) aren't thrilled about being filmed by a student, or who knows what else might get reported back home... plus, most teachers don't want parents constantly coming to them to vent, plead, or offer unsolicited advice. So, I see part of that "promise" as a way to ensure those types of parents stay away.
Anyway, maybe I wasn't clear enough (though I did mention this in my first reply to your quote), but there's always more than one side to the story. Everyone has their own truth, and it shouldn't be up to parents and teachers to play judge and jury. Our job is to maintain that connection with the child, even when they lie. My experience working with kids has taught me that behind big lies, there is usually a very important need—a need I would never uncover if I immediately confronted the child and shut down communication just because I saw they were lying.
Of course, we will find ourselves in situations where our child tells a lie, an uncomfortable truth, or even a white lie, and we are going to react.
But reacting means feeling something while they tell us the story, which means we’ll inevitably have a reaction in front of the child. We might follow up by questioning the child, their friends, or the teacher...
But we are always going to react.
And we'll likely second-guess ourselves, talk it over with our spouse, check with friends, or post about it here.
It's hard to imagine any parent just waving it off and saying, "Oh, they're lying, let's move on."
Your quote doesn't suggest that we should approach everything our kids say with detachment, regardless of the context.
To me, it feels more like adults trying to form an alliance so our kids can't pull a fast one on us.
I would never enter into that kind of alliance.
That doesn't mean I'll swallow everything my child tells me, nor does it mean I'll react to every little thing they do—especially not with an attack.
But I would never promise anyone that I'd just shrug it off.
And I certainly wouldn't want my child's teacher to be someone who asks me for something like that.