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David Scott7 said:Is it the dad that makes you feel heavy, or is it your brother? 😕
Of course not. The point is I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’ve never actually lived in the same city as my father. I visit him for a few days and then head back. I get along great with my dad, but I value my independence—I don't want anyone breathing down my neck. The issue isn't the family; it's the lack of community here. There's no future in this small town. If I want to go to college, I have to drive an hour just to get there. I'm almost done with my degree now—only five exams left until graduation. I have my social life and everything here, but my family ties are basically non-existent in this area.
Thanks a lot. I don't know, it’s just hard to head back home to my dad. All my friends are here, I'm finishing up my degree here... everything I need is right here. But mentally, I think moving on is better. I've decided I'll go see him in three days—settled that part before my finals start. To be honest, though, his presence just gets under my skin. It’s suffocating being around him. He was always the one who had everything handed to him on a silver platter; his parents basically paved every single inch of his path from school straight to his career. Me? Not at all. I was the "perfect" kid. Always respectful, never pushed back, never caused trouble, never even brought a partner home without permission. It was just expected of me. If I ever dared to have an actual opinion, I was labeled "unstable" or told I needed therapy.
I have an older brother, three years my senior. He’s 24, unemployed, and living at home with my mom and me. We haven't really grown up together, so we don't have much of a relationship. No talking, no saying hello... nothing. It's just nothing.
But for the last three months, since he hasn't had a job, he just lurks around the house and spends all day online. It drives me insane. His mere presence, his aimlessness, the mindless nonsense he spouts to Mom... it's exhausting. Usually, he's Mom's golden boy—he's great, except for the gambling. He's struggled with a gambling addiction for years and went through rehab. Things seemed fine, but now he's back at it, though he isn't draining the family's bank account yet. What gets to me most is that he spends all day playing poker tournaments on sites like DraftKings. To make matters worse, he hangs out in my room like he owns the place.
To be clear, I don't live with my dad; he lives in another city. It's just me and my mom here. And again, he's Mom's favorite. We just had a massive blowout where he started screaming at me because I suggested he should probably sleep instead of being glued to the internet 24/7. He started yelling at both me and Mom, making these violent threats about "committing a massacre" and other stuff like that.
I don't know what to do. Mom keeps defending him, claiming I'm the one provoking him. I'm weighing two options: either move in with my dad and only come back here for college classes and exams, or just skip coming home tonight and crash at a friend's place for a few days until things cool down. But if I do that, I feel bad for my mom.