5 posts shown.
I keep a journal—it’s pretty intense, actually—and I find myself writing in it all the time.
"I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, mostly because the reality finally hit me: we're done. But honestly? There isn't a drop of bitterness left in me. I know what we shared was the real deal. And hey, if our paths happen to cross again somewhere down the road in our new lives, I promise I’ll just smile. I'll think back to those long summer days under the shade of the trees, just two people learning about life and falling in love. To me, the greatest kind of love is the one that shakes your soul awake and makes you want to be better—the kind that lights a fire in your chest but somehow leaves your mind feeling totally at peace. That’s exactly what you gave me. And that's what I'll always wish for you. I love you. See you around."
And yeah... that's pretty much everything I wanted to say to her.
Matthew White2 said:Man...😢 I can't say for certain that I know exactly how you feel, though I can certainly imagine it. I’ll offer two small thoughts that you might—well, if you're open to it—want to consider.
First off, nobody is asking you to forget her, nor should they. She's going to live in your memory forever, holding a very specific place in your heart; you just have to find that spot and let her rest there... within your memories... as a beautiful thing that once was... And life, fortunately (well, for us optimists—only for us), keeps moving forward, so... try to keep up with it; try to live in the present, without her... I know, that sounds blunt, maybe even a bit harsh, forgive me... but sometimes you just have to face certain realities.
Secondly... the pain you're feeling, it feels unavoidable; it's normal... but suffering is only one way to navigate through that state. 🙂 So, don't lose hope... and try to appreciate what life still offers... If you stay steady, you'll get through this... and you will always remember Her exactly as she was, of that there is no doubt.
Now... I'm not sure how much warmth my words actually carried... but they were sincere.
So, here I am, a month later. Not much has changed really, I just felt like reaching out and typing this out.
I can't tell if this is normal, but lately, it's hitting me how much I actually take after her. Her parents still treat me like one of their own, which is tough because I honestly don't know how to act around them anymore. 😢
I've been back at the cemetery three or four times now. Every single time, I go there with a bouquet of roses and some silly little note, and I end up driving home in tears.
I miss her—it hurts like hell. If I could just have five minutes with her, just five minutes to say the things I never got to...
Henry Lopez13 said:That’s actually the first time I’ve read that being sad for more than a year isn't considered "pathological." I've lost three close family members over the last four years—and when you factor in massive life changes and constant stress, there's no way I'm "over it" in a single year. People can say whatever they want, but let's face it: life is a lot harder to navigate today than it used to be. You have to deal with things in real-time.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear that. 😢 I really hope you're finding some way to navigate through all of it.
I’m really grateful for these two posts. 🙂 Oh, I almost forgot to mention—I’ve actually been seeing my psychiatrist for quite a while now. But, surprisingly, I haven't been prescribed any antidepressants. 😢 It turns out my doctor doesn't think they're necessary for me at this stage. 🙄
... is all that I have left.
I’ve been sitting on this problem for a long time—ignoring it, really—and I think I’m finally ready to actually talk about it with someone. I know this kind of thing usually goes in the group thread, but I didn't want to post it there because, honestly, I was afraid it would just get lost in the noise and ignored.
So, here goes. About five years ago, I was seeing this girl, and everything just felt right—you know that feeling? Like, I just knew she was "The One." It had to be her. But... she passed away. After a year and a half of having the most incredible relationship of my life, she died from leukemia.
It completely leveled me. My whole world just collapsed, and I haven't been the same since. I went from being this happy, carefree kid—the kind who used to spend all day playing in the sand—to becoming the saddest version of myself. Crying became my new normal. There were days where I’d find myself breaking down three times a day, just thinking about her.
For a long time, I couldn't even look at anyone else. I didn't want to talk about it, mostly because I just didn't know how to put it into words, or maybe I just didn't want to face it. Recently, though, I met someone new. She’s wonderful—she tries so hard for me, and I’ve grown to care for her deeply. I truly want to build something with her, BUT... I can't seem to shake the memory of my late girlfriend. I don't want to act like she never existed, because she was... she was beautiful. And I loved her so much.
I guess I just need a little kindness right now. Thank you.