It’s going to be incredibly hard when you lose a family member, especially if you’re facing it all on your own. I had to go to the nursing home by myself to see my dad when he passed away. Even now, nearly two months later, I still find myself thinking about it every single night. He was so pale. I visited him at the facility every single day, and honestly, watching that happen... it wasn't easy. Just a heads-up, though—be prepared for people to pester you if you aren't vaccinated. I didn't even think twice about it; I just wore two surgical masks, even though the nurses and caregivers at the home often didn't bother wearing any at all. And prepare yourselves for all kinds of different home health nurses. One was a complete disaster, truly. She ended up getting too close with the visiting nurse, and since neither of them really knew what they were doing while Dad was still at home, I just had to step in and do things the way I thought was right. If there's just a minor skin wound, I'd suggest using Myrobact ointment or Byvacin and putting a gauze pad over it. That helped Dad's wounds heal so much faster while he was still at home. It worked way better than those dressings; they just didn't agree with his skin. You could use Trosur gel, I guess, but an antibiotic ointment is much more effective. You always need to have gauze on hand for a bedridden patient, along with saline solution and some lanolin cream for diaper rash. For Dad, the Hippov cream from Muller or the Drugstore was really good. Regular Bepanthen worked well for him too. Since he had such sensitive skin, those heavy greasy ointments, like the baby stuff or JGL creams, just didn't sit right with him. Change diapers frequently—it only takes a moment for the skin to get inflamed. I also bought an anti-decubitus pillow, but it wasn't great; it felt far too firm. It's probably better to just have plenty of small pillows so you can prop the patient up properly. That worked best for Dad, though in the summer, those pillows tended to get too hot. If you can, try to get an air conditioner for the summer months. Older people don't regulate their body temperature very well and can overheat easily. Our AC unit was pretty old, but as long as it worked, it was fine. Also, brace yourselves for mean comments. I dealt with that when I lost my mom, and certainly now that I've lost my dad. You know how they say it? It's a dog-eat-dog world. But that's just life, I suppose. Some people will actually take pleasure in your grief and suffering. Don't expect the staff at the facility to be particularly sympathetic when a family member passes away. They tried to hit me up with all these extra fees, but I didn't feel like getting into a fight with them, so I just paid it the day Dad died.
If there is any way my experience can help someone else dealing with bedbound patients—since both my mom and dad were in diapers, so I really had to learn the ropes—then please ask. When you're changing a diaper, you should position it so it catches everything, then gently roll the patient onto their side. It’s actually pretty straightforward, and honestly, one person can handle it alone. I changed both my parents myself. For Dad, the Ensure shakes just didn't sit right; they always triggered diarrhea. He was doing okay at home for six years, and I managed his care, even getting a hospital bed delivered to our place in the Small town, USA area. The swallowing issues started around New Year's. It happened in waves for him. There would be a few weeks where he could swallow fine, and then suddenly, it was difficult again. We had to do IV fluids at home for a couple of days, which is such a headache to organize in the summer because the home health aides all go on vacation, so they're hard to find. You have to buy the IV fluids and the tubing kits yourself at the pharmacy. And definitely buy pads. There were times I went through an entire pack of underpads in a single week just for Dad. This past summer was brutal, truly, especially since I was handling everything with Dad by myself. I miss him so much now. I resisted getting him a feeding tube for as long as I could because, in my mind, a tube felt like the beginning of the end. I knew a patient who had a PEG tube back when Dad was over at the Pulmonology ward at General Hospital, but that man was much younger than my father. Visiting those wards actually taught me quite a bit. The Pulmonology department at General Hospital is excellent; they really know how to care for immobile patients. But, if you have any choice at all, please try to avoid Dubrava Hospital. They just don't provide proper care for people who can't move. They really put my dad through it there; they performed invasive tests and... they cut him. They left him with an open wound. A nurse at the facility looked at me, pale as a ghost, and asked, "They made this wound deeper?!"
If anyone needs advice, I'll always be happy to help. You can change the sheets on a hospital bed by yourself, too. I used to change Dad's fitted sheets all on my own. I washed his hair myself. I even bathed him in bed. The only thing I ever needed help with from the home health nurses was repositioning him across the bed. You absolutely have to make sure the patient sits up somewhat; it isn't good for them to just lie flat all the time. Put a support behind their back—I used a cushion from an old couch and some pillows. As long as you are able, keep your loved one at home. It's better for them than being in a facility. But once you realize you just can't do it anymore—like I did—please, put them in a care facility if you can. I didn't want Dad to pass away at home; I was just too scared. After Dubrava Hospital discharged him in such terrible condition to the facility, I don't think I could have handled him alone at home anymore. Though, to be honest, the facility wasn't perfect either. But I shouldn't dwell on that. I fought as hard as I could, running between floors, calling those few nurses. We had enough caregivers, but they weren't trained. They weren't even allowed to administer medication because they lacked the training. Even the nurses at that facility weren't particularly bright. There was just one older nurse there who actually knew what she was doing, but she was only there for one day. In these facilities, they tend to group all the high-needs patients together in one room. So, don't be surprised by that. When my Dad first arrived at the facility, a man died right in that same room. I saw it happen and called the nurse. Just... prepare yourself for death and dying, because that is what you will be witnessing every single day.
I want to thank everyone in this thread who tried to help me, even after my mother’s tragic passing during that 2013 healthcare strike. She was in severe septic shock because a serious hospital infection wasn't treated in time. I feel like I lost the battle for my parents' lives. I fought as hard as I possibly could—I had the medical background, even if my sister didn't. I truly wish everyone luck in fighting for the health of your own family members, but sometimes... well, sometimes the fight is lost before it even starts because of how our healthcare system is set up. Thank you all for the support; there have always been kind souls in this thread during the heavy grief I've endured. Life goes on. As for those who acted unconscionably while treating my parents, knowing they were at fault... may they live with their conscience. I know I couldn't live with myself, but apparently, they can.
mistyjackal842 said:My dad is being discharged from the hospital to a facility in a suburban area, USA. He’ll be there for a month to start, and then I'll have to decide what comes next. Honestly, the feeding tube is the hardest part, but I guess it's just what has to be done. I don't really understand why he can't swallow anymore. Maybe it's just old age? It's not like he had a stroke or anything. If anyone has more info regarding feeding tubes, please let me know. The doctor was pretty unpleasant—she wouldn't even let me ask questions. If he could just swallow and eat normally, I’d take him straight home instead of these expensive facilities. Is there any kind of home health assistance available to help learn how to manage the tube?
It ended badly. My dad passed away at the end of August. From my amateur observation, the staff at the facility had absolutely no idea how to handle a feeding tube. First off, and this is the main issue, the tube was way too short. It kept slipping out constantly. No one at the facility knew how to replace it, either. It felt like they were treating it like some kind of toy, and in my opinion, it’s something that should only be managed in a hospital setting. No patient should ever be sent home or to a facility with such a short tube. Maybe he could have managed soft foods or yogurt, but I doubt he could have handled liquids. The facility wouldn't even let us try eating without the tube. I fought with them as much as I possibly could. In the end, I realized I was losing the battle for my dad. The general practitioner at the facility was incredibly rude; he only showed up to change the upper part of the urinary catheter. I actually ended up buying the catheter bags myself. I won't say they didn't try at all—they did bathe him, and they prepared special food for him—but that damn tube kept moving and causing him to choke. They just didn't know how to adjust it properly. I called the hospital, and he spent eight days at Dubrava Hospital, but honestly, they just made things worse. They released him to the facility in such terrible condition, which is where he eventually died. His arm was extremely swollen because, clearly, an IV had been running incorrectly for hours. He was covered in bruises and scrapes, and his shirt was barely even on him. There were no visitors allowed at Dubrava Hospital. I just don't understand how people can treat a bedridden patient like that. They lied to me and said he was being well cared for while they "waited for results."
I mean, you all seem so content living on all those medications. I was reading this case study recently where someone was in a truly dire situation. Honestly, they went way too far with the therapy. It left her with such severe side effects. They eventually decided to scale back the treatment, which actually helped her health, but they write about it so openly, almost like it was a success story. It’s a miracle she even survived that initial dosage when things were so overmedicated. And then, to top it off, they claim the patient gave consent for the case study?! If she hadn't survived that massive overdose, she obviously wouldn't be around to give consent. A family member of mine used to work in a similar field. He's passed away now, but I think he moved away from direct hospital care to a different role just so he wouldn't have to witness the unnecessary degradation of patients. He had that choice, you know. Even back then, he told me how bad things are in geriatric wards—people are dying in droves. The real problem is that nobody is doing anything about it. We had a mobile, active elderly neighbor pass away after only a week in one of those units. And don't even get me started on this one young man; I'm not saying he wasn't ill, but they basically turned him into a vegetable with those heavy-duty drugs.
Has anyone here ever had an EEG done at Medikol? My head has been hurting quite a bit lately, so I feel like I really need to go in as soon as possible. I’m also hoping to get on the schedule for a brain MRI once they open up those referrals at the end of the year. I was thinking maybe there's a smaller chance I'll miss my appointment slot if I don't go to the Community Health Center for the EEG. I would also love to request a different time slot because my doctor is honestly wonderful, but I just can't deal with the staff there—one of the nurses is truly awful.
They actually have an endocrinologist over at the Leptir Clinic. There are quite a few doctors on staff there, so maybe you could just ask them directly. Personally, I’m planning to head there for my annual checkups, just like my doctor recommended. Their equipment seems solid—they have ultrasound and everything. Plus, since they have other specialists on-site, if something urgent comes up, you can probably see someone else. I'm honestly not sure what the deal is with hospital visits and those COVID certificates lately. Does anyone happen to know? I have a scan scheduled for late October. Do you still need a test for screenings even if there isn't any aerosol involved? Would one of those antigen tests from a drugstore be enough? If they require a PCR, I might just skip it. Usually, when you go to a private clinic, nobody asks you for anything; you just wear a mask and you're good to go. I mean, I did have to fill out a form at one clinic once, stating I hadn't been in contact with anyone sick, but most places don't even bother asking for that anymore.
If anyone happens to be looking into the Leptir Clinic, you can actually snag an appointment for a thyroid ultrasound as early as this Thursday—they have plenty of openings that day. The doctor there practices out of Rebro. I decided to go there myself because I’ve got these two cysts on the left lobe of my thyroid, and my cardiologist referred me for the scan. They also offer ear irrigation and the prices aren't too bad, though they don't seem to have any availability with the other doctors just yet. When I went there with my dad a few years back, the gastroenterologist from Rebro was just wonderful and incredibly professional. It looks like she isn't working over at Amrušev anymore, though.
Low blood pressure was really kicking my butt too, especially during that heatwave we had back in mid-September. I felt terrible—honestly, I could barely even make it out the door. If anyone happens to be looking for a solid neurologist, I’d highly recommend Dr. Canadian over at Saint Catherine’s. She actually sent me for an EEG and a brain MRI with contrast. I've dealt with this before, too; more than ten years ago, I used to feel just as awful, almost like I couldn't catch my breath whenever I was stuck in an enclosed space. That phase eventually passed, I guess. But the doctor mentioned it would be wise to get a full look at my circulation. I did ask about getting a CT scan, though I suspect some things might not even show up on one. Plus, I imagine just trying to get an appointment for a brain MRI isn't exactly easy. She gave me such a thorough neurological exam, though... she really is wonderful.
Your primary care doctor doesn't necessarily have to be right in your own neighborhood. It can actually be pretty inconvenient if there’s a lockdown or something similar going on. My dad had his last two doctors at a different Community Health Center, and they were really great. But since things were locked down quite a bit, even the nurses who were heading out to get approvals for home care ran into issues getting through. As for the clinic right here in my neighborhood, I just couldn't bring myself to go there; there's zero privacy, and I've read people complaining because it's just too close to home. My dad suggested I stick with where I am now, and I think he was probably right. Before that, I had been seeing a large Community Health Center since I was a kid. It was fine there, too, but you'd end up waiting forever without any real reason. They would even try to second-guess a specialist's decision regarding infection treatments, though my mom—who's a microbiologist—ended up having to step in and sort it all out. I don't think they meant anything by it, truly, but if a specialist makes a recommendation, I feel like the GP should just follow it and move on. It happened with some penicillin injections back when I was in high school because I kept getting strep throat every two years. I didn't have a fever or anything, but it was definitely strep. In the end, they did finally follow what the ENT and an infectious disease specialist decided. Regarding referrals, I got those there as well, though I rarely ever asked for them, so it wasn't much of an issue. Eventually, I started seeing private doctors for certain things anyway.
I was doing some digging for myself online and actually managed to find something helpful. There is a private neurologist at St. Catherine Hospital in Chicago who is just wonderful. She’s actually a subspecialist in epilepsy. She sent me in for a whole battery of tests—an EEG and an MRI of the brain with an MRA—and performed a really thorough neurological exam herself. She’s a younger doctor, too. I can send the doctor's name and the cost of the consultation via DM if you'd like.
If anyone is looking for a general practitioner, there’s this really kind and approachable young doctor. She truly cares about her patients' well-being. I’m honestly so happy with her. She responds to emails almost immediately, so you can usually snag an appointment just two days out—that was my experience, anyway. And once your appointment time rolls around, you get seen right away. The office itself is small and a bit tucked away; it falls under the Community Health Center umbrella, though it isn't located in the main hub. It’s not even in my neighborhood, so I end up taking the bus or walking, but it's not that far. Honestly, I wouldn't trade her for a clinic closer to home. I think she still has openings for new patients. Most of the people living in that part of the city are older. Even during the summer, the substitute doctor was also young and great. If you need more info, feel free to DM me for a recommendation. You'll get all your referrals, like for blood work, right away. At least, that's how it worked for me based on my specialist results. For sleep medication, she provides a private prescription, but she sends all the other prescriptions electronically. She actually handled the scheduling for my Holter EKG at Vuk Vrhovec and my EEG at the Community Health Center through the central booking system. As for my other tests—blood work, thyroid ultrasound, and the brain MRI with MRA—I'll be heading over to St. Catherine Hospital to schedule those myself.
I mean, you should just go to Svjetlost. They’ve always been there for me. Sure, the doctors rotate around a bit, but even the new ones coming on board seem really solid. I remember being admitted as an emergency case back at the start of July this year, and they truly helped me out. They always work so conscientiously and seem genuinely ready to step up when it matters. At least, that's been my experience.
Does anyone happen to have a recommendation for a private neurologist? I've been dealing with some bouts of unconsciousness and weakness lately, and I think it might be time to get checked out.
Unfortunately, I only know one doctor in Sesvete because I had to switch my dad over to the local Community Health Center about a month ago. He’s younger, pretty arrogant, doesn't even bother wearing gloves, and just gives you this look full of pure hatred. I guess the only people in Sesvete who are actually decent are the folks at the pharmacy and the registrar's office.
Dad is moving from the hospital back home to Sesvete. He’ll be staying in a care facility for about a month before we decide on the next steps, I guess. Honestly, dealing with this feeding tube is the hardest part, but I suppose it’s just what needs to happen right now. I can't quite wrap my head around why he can't swallow... maybe it's just old age? He didn't have a stroke or anything like that. If anyone out there has more info regarding feeding tubes, please let me know. The doctor has been so unpleasant—it feels like I'm not even allowed to ask questions. If he could just swallow and eat normally, I would have brought him straight home instead of sending him to these expensive facilities. Does anyone know if there's any kind of home health assistance available to help us learn how to manage the tube?
Thank you everyone for all the advice. My dad has a nasogastric tube, he's struggling to breathe, he's on oxygen, and he's developed pressure sores. Since we live on our own, I guess I'm wondering if he would have the right to be placed in the palliative care unit at Rockefeller's Hospital. I'm currently unemployed and don't work in the medical field, so honestly, I have no idea how I'd manage to pay all the bills if I had to put him in an expensive private facility here in Chicago. From what I've heard from visitors, Rockefeller's is pretty full. Maybe there might be some space for my dad... because before this hospitalization, I was caring for my immobile father all by myself for six years. Now, I just can't do it anymore because his health has declined so much. So, I suppose I'm asking if there's any hope at all that he could be moved from Vinogradski to Rockefeller's. Does anyone happen to have any experience with this?
My dad is in the hospital, and things look really bad. I'm terrified he might not make it through this. It's just... it's so hard to witness, and I end up just breaking down and crying at home. They didn't even want to admit him right away, though they finally did. There was such a long wait, and they actually tried to send him home first. Now, I'm going by myself to see him struggling. I don't have anyone, literally no one, to stand by me through this. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this; it's just incredibly heavy. Parents are everything, truly everything.
I’m looking for some help here if anyone knows... does an antibiotic exist that just dissolves right in the mouth? It is being incredibly difficult to get him to take a standard antibiotic pill. I have to crush it up, but I’m really worried that might make the medication less effective. He actually had an IV infusion at home today. I managed to pull that together somehow, but he only ended up getting half a liter of the infusion. I honestly think that's not enough because he’s having such a hard time drinking anything—almost nothing at all. I'm thinking about trying to arrange for a short stay at a private care facility, but since it's this time of year, they seem to be pretty much fully booked.
Cancer is such a heavy diagnosis to carry. My grandparents were both diagnosed later in life, but they still had many good years left. I grew up with them, so every goodbye feels incredibly heavy. Losing my mom meant losing that core part of my family, since she was really the glue holding us together. I don't even count some of the extended relatives, even if they live in Chicago. Honestly, I don't need people who try to provoke you when a situation is already this sensitive and difficult. If something bothered them while we were visiting, they could have just spoken up right then.