4 posts shown.
We gave it a shot—coordinated with her coach to get her interested in hitting the heavy bag, and occasionally she’d actually go for it. But now? Nothing. We tried everything from volleyball to basketball to dance classes. We could try pulling a fast one and just driving her there under false pretenses—maybe she'll actually enjoy herself once she sees what's happening—but once the session is over, she refuses to go back. Especially not now.
Hi. I think some people here have grasped the core of this—we’re exhausted. We are tired of the psychiatrists and the outpatient clinics. Even though it’s "only" been a few months, we are traveling 62 miles to Chicago for the first appointment. It feels like our best bet might be private KBT, even if we have to take out a loan to make it happen; we’ve already sent out several inquiries. After about a month on Zoloft, there seems to be zero progress—in fact, the last few days have been worse. Some days we've tried a (1,1,0) Zoloft dose, plus Loquen at 10 PM at 0.25 mg. We are considering a gradual taper because she remains just as irritable and detached. Our main hesitation is the reaction from her psychiatrist; she basically just prescribes based on our descriptions of the situation, and she actually got angry the first time we discontinued the Seroquel because the patient looked so terrible.
We try to keep her engaged—we've tried everything, even setting up a dedicated space for her in the house so she can have "her own peace," with her own room and bathroom. (She uses the bathroom sink to eat; she puts store-bought food or yogurt on a tray by the mirror, likely so she can watch herself eat without touching her lips—she uses plastic utensils we buy almost daily). She comes downstairs occasionally, usually only if prompted, but she repeats the same loops constantly (things like "I want a dog" or "I want liquid"). We have a Labrador, but she insists on having a Terrier from her grandmother's place. We actually brought one over, but it was too small and cried quite a bit, so we had to bring it back. Everyone is under immense stress. Her brother is a top-tier athlete—karate—and he's heavily burdened by all this. We are writing this together—my husband and I—so please don't assume I'm tackling this alone. My husband has been more hands-on than I have; he’s been the one driving her and waiting outside the school during her lower grades, talking to teachers and counselors, and even confronting kids he thought were bullying her. I’ve spent more time talking to the girls, asking them to come sit with her, etc., but any improvement was always temporary. Best regards and thanks for the advice.
P.S.—we aren't offended by the criticism on this forum. We just want her to get better. Perhaps someone can share how to start the recovery process, because instead of improving, things seem to be spiraling. School isn't our priority right now; her well-being is.
Best regards!
Thanks for the input, shadowbadger32—we didn't "just notice" now, but I appreciate the optimism—you know, "it'll be fine," "things will improve," and all that. You have no idea what we've actually been through. As for my marriage, everything is perfectly fine; we’re just a normal family. We live right near my parents' place, and we’ve always been there for her—constant communication, always. And as for needing to go break someone's bones at school? I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. Regardless, we’re going to keep fighting this out despite your bleak prognosis...
Please help—has anyone dealt with something similar?
My daughter is 15. She’s always been withdrawn—ever since middle school—which made her a target for bullying. They mocked her, treated her like she was stupid, and just picked on her. We told her to stand her ground, to fight back, even tried intimidating the bullies when we found out they were isolating her or making fun of her right in front of teachers. Of course, the school counselors did absolutely nothing. Eventually, we moved her to a different middle school in another district to give her a fresh start. It seemed fine at first, but then word got around via social media about how "weird" she was, and the isolation started all over again. Then high school happened, and things took a much darker turn. We're talking full-blown panic attacks, being unable to stand up in class, sneaking out of the house through her bedroom window just to avoid seeing anyone, and staying in her room all day—only coming out to grab food from a convenience store. She missed several months of school entirely. We went through the whole gauntlet: psychologists, psychiatrists, group therapy... now she’s struggling with an eating disorder and some intense OCD tendencies. It’s bizarre. She can’t touch her own lips; she’s obsessed with cleanliness, yet simultaneously leaves a mess everywhere. Her eating habits are ritualistic—she eats only one specific type of food, sits in front of a bathroom mirror to watch herself eat while avoiding touching her lips, uses plastic utensils, and is hyper-vigilant about pulling wrappers away from her face so she doesn't touch them. When she showers, it’s like she won't wash her whole face; she’ll get soap near her mouth but won't use her hands to rinse it, opting for Q-tips instead. She won't drink water—only bottled juices (mostly iced lemon tea with a "standard" cap), which she opens with extreme precision to avoid hand contact. Medication-wise, she started on Locten at 25mg, then 50mg, then 100mg. Her doctor then switched her to Seroquel, but she looked like a zombie—honestly, we both felt that way—so we stopped everything about 2–3 weeks ago. Currently, she’s on Zoloft (50mg in the morning) and Locten (25mg at night).
The doctor recommended Zoloft 2x50mg plus Seroquel 25mg at night.
So far, no improvement. She’s slightly calmer, but the obsessions persist. We try to accommodate every single one of her needs—making multiple trips to the store daily for specific juices, snacks, or yogurt just to keep her stable. The whole family is under massive stress; she was always such a sweet, albeit quiet, girl. She’s actually passed thirteen exams for her diploma, with only two left, but frankly, school doesn't matter right now. We just want her to be okay. She’d change her entire career path just to avoid being in a classroom with her current peers, but she’s lost; she doesn't seem capable of functioning in an academic setting at all right now.
She eats once a day—usually chicken medallions or croquettes with a liter of yogurt. In the afternoon, she asks for "liquid," so we run out to find a specific juice with a lid she can open carefully, maybe grabbing a candy bar along the way. Most of her day is spent in her room listening to music or watching TV. For a while, she was completely obsessed with a certain singer—she couldn't process his passing. She still loves his music, though that obsession has dialed down a bit. At one point, she even wanted to fly out to visit his grave.
Essentially, she feels "disgusting"—especially if she touches something with her hands, let alone her own lips. She’s lost 22 pounds (dropped from 155 to 132 lbs at 5'6"), and now her weight has plateaued.
How do we move forward? We joined another support forum hoping to hear from people who have walked this same path.
🤷