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Yeah. I’m not even sure how to put this into words anymore. I suppose I just dug myself into a hole too deep—and stayed there far too long—to simply climb my way out on my own. Whatever. I gave it a shot. At least I tried something. At least I managed to pull off one dream in this life. Actually, make that two.
Nathan Foster4 said:So, according to you, women are either "normal"—meaning they won't touch you because you don't fit the mold of some 30-something guy with a steady career and plenty of experience—or they're complete psychos.
I’m not sitting here enjoying your misery. I'm just pointing out how delusional you are when it comes to what you want and how you look for it.
You ended up in a psychiatric ward with a formal diagnosis, but hey, at least everyone else is just as crazy as you are, right?🙄
What kind of unreality? I honestly have no idea what you're getting at. My point was simply that the concept of "normalcy" is incredibly unstable—it’s subjective. What does "being normal" even mean to you?
You were the one who claimed that only a total psycho could ever be with me. How on earth can you say something like that and still be standing?
Right. You hit the nail on the head there—fix everything and suddenly all my problems will just vanish into thin air. I clearly failed to account for such an obvious solution in my initial reasoning.
Sam Green73 said:It feels like you're spending a massive amount of your energy living in the past.
Draw a line in the sand (mentally, not literally)
Try to look toward what's coming next and focus on where you are right now.
I know, I know—it sounds like one of those cheesy Hallmark cards, but if you were sitting in a real therapist's office in Chicago, that’s exactly what they’d tell you.
On a different note, how are things going with your friends? Do you have anyone close you can really lean on?
I don't really have any friends left. Everyone is already tied up in relationships or marriages; nobody reaches out to me anymore.
Nathan Foster4 said:Maybe some people have even more than that. Who knows, right? 🙂
So, what’s actually eating at you? Is it that you feel like you just don't have that magnetic pull with women, or is it more that there's just no spark on either side? Is it them, or is it you?
Why don't you try pivoting? Just start focusing on the people who are actually looking for something else entirely.
Why on earth should you have to overthink everything or settle for "normal" girls just because you spent some time in a mental health facility? Seriously, since when does a stay at a psychiatric ward dictate who you're allowed to date or what kind of partner you deserve? It doesn't make any sense! Why should anyone feel like they have to dim their light or act like a completely different person just to fit in with someone else's idea of "normal"? Does a past struggle somehow invalidate your right to find a deep, meaningful connection? Not a chance. 🤷
Do you honestly think a normal woman is going to want you?
The second you realize someone is hunting for your attention like that, you already know something is off. It doesn’t matter how much they try to play it cool or hide behind a mask of normalcy—you can just feel it. If they're coming on that strong right out of the gate, they aren't stable. Period.
I see absolutely no reason to answer your questions—it's painfully obvious they were designed solely for you to take pleasure in my misery. Apparently, only a complete lunatic would ever consider being with me. As long as you get to feel "normal," right?
Truly stellar advice. Honestly, knowing that I don't stand a chance with 99% of women—it’s actually quite comforting. It's not like I'm looking for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and save me—I'll pass. But I am angry. There is a level of fury simmering inside me that most people couldn't possibly fathom in five lifetimes—and believe me, I have plenty of valid reasons for it.
It’s all quite pointless—feel free to lock this thread. There isn't anyone here who can actually help me.
I have a massive problem. I’ve spent my entire life feeling profoundly alone. As a kid, I was subjected to horrific physical and psychological abuse—the kind of stuff that leaves permanent scars. Naturally, I grew up as someone with zero self-confidence, perpetually anxious and socially stunted. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 26. I met her by chance; she was quite a bit younger than me and came from a similar background—her father was an alcoholic and abusive. We were together for six years. She was my first, and I was hers. About a year and a half ago, she left me for someone else.😢
I ended up in a psychiatric ward where they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, there hasn't been anyone else. I've tried going out with a few women—we’ve shared some kisses—but I simply cannot bring myself to have sex. There is this massive, impenetrable mental block inside me that I just can't break through. Believe me, I want to; I crave intimacy so badly that the frustration and desperation are becoming overwhelming. I realize that women my age are typically looking for established men with solid careers and plenty of experience under their belts. I have neither. My self-esteem is non-existent; I don't even have the courage to say "hello." I feel like a total failure—like a "defective product." Physically, I'm fine—in fact, I look much younger than my actual age (33)—but nothing works. If I try to play a part, it feels fake; if I tell the truth about who I am, it only makes things worse.🙂