Posts by Austin Garcia3

Paul Martinez2 said:I’m certainly not judging you, and I truly didn't mean for it to come across that way!

You don't necessarily have to bring her into your own home, but maybe you could help her find a shelter, reach out to the proper authorities, or look into local social services.
I personally feel that taking some kind of action is the right thing to do, regardless of who she is.

I think it might be helpful to let go of any judgment—or even resentment, if you're feeling that—because holding onto those things never seems to help anyone in the end. Even if your mother wasn't able to be the parent you needed, you can still choose to be a good person and honor that connection.

I actually talked to her today, and they're heading off somewhere together this coming weekend. She's acting like everything is just sunshine and rainbows—which makes sense, because for her, all that yelling and fighting is almost like a release, a way to feel better. But honestly? I'm just done being caught up in the madness.
If I were to call the police behind her back, I'm pretty sure she'd kill me—literally. Plus, the rest of the family would probably disown me. It feels like I'd end up being the villain in everyone's eyes again.
It’s just not that simple... trust me, if there was an easy fix, I would've jumped on it a long time ago.

Paul Martinez2 said:Reading through these comments is honestly quite upsetting.

Of course I would help a stranger if I were able to, let alone my own mother.

When you say she abused you mentally and physically, what does that actually entail? Are we talking about being disciplined as a child, or perhaps her not letting you stay out late when you were sixteen?

Looking at your story, it seems like everything revolves entirely around your own perspective.
Maybe try helping your mother by actually asking her what is going on in her life instead of making assumptions based on photos. Did you also conclude that you were solely to blame for everything else just by looking at pictures?

Perhaps it is time to take charge of your life and act with more maturity and responsibility.

😕 Hey, if you're actually interested in this topic, please re-read my post properly. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to understand, then don't come at me. I really don't think I need to go into the gory details of her abuse, but there was constant neglect—which basically means she didn't even care if I made it home safe, rather than just being strict about curfews—plus the condescension and the endless lying. That kind of stuff is devastating for a child, and honestly, it doesn't get any easier seeing all those lies play out as an adult. There were also plenty of physical incidents that left me with actual scars I still carry today. Given that I never called the cops and instead spent nights locked in my room or hiding in the car, I think I’ve already done more to "help" her than anyone realizes.
I know exactly what’s going on in her life and how much of it is her own fault—I’ve had a front-row seat to it all too many times.
And contrary to what you're saying, the real challenge is finding the strength *not* to feel sorry for her and *not* to visit. Being "mature" would be taking care of myself and avoiding someone who mistreats me—someone who used to push me away whenever I tried to hold her accountable.
I'm not arguing with you for my own sake—I know what happened. It's just sad that someone who claims they'd help anyone is so quick to jump to these kinds of conclusions. You sound just like the people who ask what a woman did to deserve being treated poorly by her husband.

Thanks everyone, you guys have been such a huge help!
I already knew deep down that I shouldn't stick my neck out—especially since she isn't even remotely ready for an honest conversation. And honestly? She’d need to at least own up to her own mistakes before anyone should be jumping in to play the martyr for her.
I can already see how it would go... in a fit of rage, she’d probably wreck half the house and then just retreat back to an environment where that kind of behavior is totally normalized.
The thing is, she's dealing with some massive issues, but she's never once stepped foot in a therapist's office. Ever since I was little, her behavior has always been excused by people saying she just "has thin skin"—which is basically our family way of sweeping everything under the rug. For a while, I actually thought maybe I could be the one to talk sense into her and get her to go to counseling. But the answer is always the same: "You just have to love me for who I am." So yeah, there's no doubt about it—she expects me to just sacrifice my entire life for her sake. And I'm just not doing that.
The rest of the family—my grandma and her mom, mostly—isn't helping one bit. If anything, they make it worse. Plus, my friends don't really know how bad things actually are, so I haven't felt comfortable opening up to them. That's why I wanted to say thanks again to all of you for taking the time to reply and for giving me the courage to stay out of it.

So, I’m dealing with some heavy stuff involving my mom—she’s been physically and emotionally abusive toward me my entire life.
We don't live together, and I still make visits every now and then. I’ve finally managed to reach this super fragile kind of balance where I just dodge any serious topics to keep the peace, but we still have a relationship. The real issue is that the fighting between her and my stepfather has escalated into physical violence. Honestly, she’s usually the one instigating it more than he is, but since he’s physically stronger, he ends up being the one blamed for everything.
The other day, she sent me a photo of her forehead—there was this huge injury covering half her face that could only have come from a direct hit. Then, she claimed it was just a "rash"?! But right after that, she sends another message showing a massive bruise on her arm. It’s pretty obvious she’s crying out for help, even if she won't say it directly.
I’ve thought about asking her to come stay with me for a bit, but I know that would just open the door for her to abuse me again—and let's be real, she wouldn't even be grateful. She’d probably just take her frustrations out on me. I really don't feel like she deserves me to sacrifice myself like that. I’m in a really vulnerable spot right now with a ton of responsibilities, and I know she’d mentally drain me to the point where I'd lose focus on my work. I’ve already missed out on way too many opportunities because of her outbursts, which always leave me spiraling into depression for months at a time.
Still, I can't shake this feeling that I'm a bad person if I don't step in. I'm even terrified that something might happen to her—like, maybe an accident, like she trips down the stairs.
I'm open to any thoughts or advice you guys might have.