Posts by Kevin Young4

shadowheron49 said:I used to think the exact same way... like, we're bound to cross paths again, we have to... it can't just end like this...

but honestly, I feel like I'm just digging myself deeper into a fantasy instead of just facing reality and moving on.

Hard truth.
Nah, it’s never happening.
He doesn't care, and he won't give you a second thought unless you literally drop a brick on him to get his attention—you basically don't exist to him, it was all in your head, and you're just trying to dig yourself out of the hole you made. Next time, you'll just shut down any guy who even looks remotely like him and that'll be that.

But man, that blunt reality really hurts...
and there isn't any magic cure for it.

Our situations aren't the same, even if we're both chasing ghosts...
I was just a pushover, and he was way too much for me to handle—I missed my window.
What can I say? Just don't let yourself pine for him. That kind of ache comes and goes... it's like watching a bad movie on loop. The real question is whether you can finally turn the screen off.

shadowheron49 said:😢
Honestly, my heart just breaks for anyone who has gone through something like that.
And reading all these stories about how long this "recovery phase" lasts—you know, the constant dreaming and reminiscing—it honestly feels overwhelming to me... like, I don't think I have the emotional stamina to sit around feeling this crappy for that long... I feel like I'd just crawl out of my own skin.
I'd honestly rather just deal with one massive, sudden heartbreak in a single day than this slow, agonizing drain on my soul.
I've never felt this kind of pain before... I guess you just have to experience stuff like this at some point in life to grow...
But calling it "pain" doesn't even feel right... it's more like... well, just an illusion, exactly like the title says...

It isn't suffering, not really. 🙂
My biggest issue is that I just don't believe in love anymore, even though I know he liked me too—I could tell. But things were complicated. Now I'm stuck wondering if we'll run into each other in a few years and still feel the same way... if he hasn't already married someone else by then.😵 Or maybe his feelings aren't nearly as intense as mine, and in the end, it won't mean anything. Who knows...

I went through something similar, and honestly, I’m still feeling the fallout from it. I fell hard for this guy. For about three months, we just existed in this orbit—me staring at him constantly, him noticing me once in a while, maybe less... but he knew how to talk to me. He actually knew exactly what to say to get under my skin. I think he was thinking about me too. Eventually, I couldn't stand myself anymore—couldn't handle how obsessed I was becoming—so I just bailed. I ran. I didn't see him again for nine whole months, but even now, he pops into my head way more often than I'd like to admit. I haven't forgotten him. Very few people ever truly get under my skin like that... maybe he's the only one who ever will.

Maria Ramos41 said:I’m going to try and inject a little humor here, since it feels like this forum is absolutely drowning in pessimists lately.😁

To all you night owls out there—you know the ones—why don't you just find yourselves a nice little montage of shirtless models and count them like kids counting sheep to fall asleep?

I have to admit, there's a lot of gloom here, but I guess that's just what happens when people stay up all night...

My internal clock has finally shifted. I've been waking up early for two days now—around 4 AM yesterday, maybe 5 AM today. Hopefully, tomorrow it'll be 6 AM or even later. Honestly, I've actually missed some plans because of this sudden change in schedule.🙂

Casey Morgan3 said:I totally get it.
Your whole internal clock is trashed, so you're losing focus, drive, and all that energy you need to crush your daily goals

Looks like you're gonna have to actually get some sleep 😁

I pull midnight study sessions, but this whole insomnia thing is becoming my reality—along with everything else I struggle with. Maybe these criticisms will just finish me off and leave me face down on the floor. Instead, I end up glued to my computer screen instead of picking up a textbook. I’m incredibly sensitive to being called out because I really am trying with everything, even if it doesn't feel like I'm giving more than 100%. I don't know how to help myself. Honestly, when I used to study in the mornings or afternoons, I'd head out to a Starbucks or something, and I could manage. But now that money is tight, I hate leaving the house. I truly don't understand what I have against my own home or why I can't stand being here. It isn't as catastrophic as it seems at first glance, and most people can handle it, so it's just a shame. :/

Casey Morgan3 said:Look, if doing that helps you chill out and it doesn't totally wreck your vibe the next day,
you really don't have to force yourself to go to bed early 😁>

It’s not like it won't be an issue tomorrow—not yet, anyway. But here's the thing: people call me a total deadbeat because of this. One time, someone in my house was incredibly rude about it; they practically grabbed me by the arm and hauled me out of bed...
I'm really not a fan of that...
Ever since I started having these sleep issues—or rather, ever since everyone else started complaining about how I sleep—my motivation for everything else has just tanked. It’s like I spend even more time trying to wind down at night with some mindless reading, which just eats away at the time I should be using to actually get things done...

I’m in total agreement with what Paul Thompson3 described. Every single time I manage to fix my sleep schedule, it just slides right back to my old, broken habits within a week or two. And that part about lying there for an hour or five just trying to catch some shut-eye? I’ve lived through that exact nightmare myself. Honestly, it got to the point where I was disgusted by the whole thing, so now I just give up and turn on the TV or pick up a book instead. Nighttime used to be my only peace since I live on a loud street in a house packed with roommates, but they can't stand my little habit. As much as I'd love to move, I simply don't have the cash to make it happen.

placidmason58 said:Judging others seems to be a universal pastime, doesn't it? People love to cast stones and slap labels on everyone they see, rarely pausing to consider the underlying reasons behind someone else's actions. It’s far too easy to point a finger the moment someone slips up, and frankly, some people seem to derive a twisted sense of superiority from it—it feeds their ego.

Do you find yourself frequently judging those around you, and more importantly, how do you handle the weight of it when the spotlight turns on you and you're the one being judged?

I judge the judges... first and foremost. Then there's the rest of the crowd who can't wrap their heads around the complexity of being human—those who think if someone is struggling with depression or putting out negative energy, they should just be left alone. They can't always be bubbly and cheerful, and that doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to speak up.
And then there are those who write me off as "too sensitive" because my writing style leans toward the sentimental or melancholic. My philosophy is simple: accept everything within myself and the world outside exactly as it is. Sadness is a part of my life, just like the good parts.

On love, eroticism, sex...

I just want to leave a comment here—not a complaint, not a message, nothing.

My thread was deleted. I can guess why; the last part wasn't exactly polite, and maybe it lacked substance or intelligence.

But when I was writing it, I felt genuinely inspired. Honestly, I was terrified to even hit publish. I didn't mean anything bad by it, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, and I definitely wasn't trying to spread negativity...

I just wanted to share my perspective...

It sucks that you did that without giving me any reason. It really stung.

Please, don't do that... I don't know how else to put it. I doubt I'll find myself writing something like that again, but please don't do it to others. At least explain the reasoning to them.

When I realized how much it hurt, I felt the need to come back and say something.

And I'm sure there are plenty of people out there far more sensitive than I am—and trust me, I used to be even more thin-skinned than I am now.

Watch out for us. Being hurt like that isn't nice... not even a little bit.