Posts by Lawrence Torres56

Ryan Wilson2 said:I am absolutely right.😁

Look, I have no problem with someone charging for a seminar, a session of Reiki, a spread of Tarot, or whatever else they offer. My issue lies with the blatant hypocrisy of those who do the charging.

They preach spirituality, selflessness, and divine gifts, yet they act as if the only thing that matters is getting paid for them. One has to ask: who is actually the bigger egoist in this scenario?

If we look at it through that lens, aren't we actually being the selfish ones here instead of her?😁
The woman is constantly reminding us how much chaos we create when we ignore the Golden Rule; by doing that, we’re basically just inviting trouble into our own lives and hurting the people we care about most...
And honestly, even if I completely ignore the cost of travel, hotels, renting venues... or the price of her seminars (to be totally blunt)... I don't see it as some kind of cash grab. To me, it's more like an investment—that first crucial step toward actually doing something meaningful for ourselves. Money is just a scrap of paper that we collectively decided was valuable, right? If anyone thinks that paper is worth more than their own soul, then they are in seriously deep trouble...
On top of that, there's a massive amount of her material available online... so if someone really wants to listen to what she has to say, they can damn well do it for free. There’s really no basis for these arguments about overpriced sales tactics or selfishness... You seriously can't compare her to the endless parade of fake "spiritual gurus" out there today, because what this woman is doing is pure, unadulterated altruism.

Ryan Wilson2 said:Anita Moorjani decided she’d rather stack her own cash than share what she has with others.

I mean, you aren't exactly hitting the nail on the head there, are you? That woman isn't being greedy; she’s just following the old rule about not throwing pearls before swine... because let’s be real, most people act like swine, especially when they think they can get something for nothing. We don't actually value what's handed to us for free, do we? Instead, we just obsess over hunting down the next freebie... and if it doesn't serve some other purpose, people will literally mock the whole thing just to feed their own massive egos...

Susan James said:Based on what logic? I am all about kids actually learning and absorbing knowledge. Truly.

And I would never compare money to a grade. They just aren't the same thing.
Money is compensation for the service I provide through my work. I need money to live my life.
A grade is an assessment of someone's knowledge, effort, or whatever else goes into it.
Most decent employers out there provide a salary, a performance review (which can lead to a raise), and genuine appreciation.
I don't expect a child to study just so a teacher will thank them, or to make money, or simply to get a rating.
I expect them to learn so they actually know something.

Sure, getting an A+ can be motivating, but it’s honestly a bit sad if that's the only thing driving you to learn or pick up something new.
That is the last thing I’d want for a kid at the start of their schooling years.

I don't do my job solely for the paycheck. There's a sense of satisfaction in doing something well, being useful, making a difference, helping people, or teaching... and I truly believe great teachers think the exact same way.

Look, when you're an adult, yeah, relying on that is pretty sad—it's downright pathetic if a parent cares more about a letter on a report card than their own kid—but for little ones, especially those first-graders who have way more important things to worry about than memorizing textbooks, 😁, those grades are everything; they're basically just a pat on the back and a way to say "hey, you did a good job." Real, deep knowledge becomes the priority much, much later down the road...
Besides, let's be real, grades are never the struggle for the kids; the struggle is usually just us parents obsessing over them...😉

I can't believe I'm actually sitting here typing this out, but seriously, does anyone else feel like we’re just spinning our wheels in this endless cycle of nothingness? It’s like, you wake up, you grind through the day, you deal with the usual nonsense, and then you realize you haven't actually moved an inch from where you started. Is it just me, or is the whole vibe lately just... heavy? Like, I’m trying to stay positive and get things done, but sometimes it feels like I'm running through waist-deep mud just to reach a finish line that keeps moving further away every single time I get close. Does that even make sense? Or am I just overthinking the entire situation again? kaže:
You've got it all wrong. Seriously, you couldn't be more off base if you were trying.
I mean, seriously, what does my GPA actually have to do with how I perform on the field? Like, do you honestly think that being able to ace a midterm in a stuffy lecture hall somehow translates to having the grit to make a clutch play when the clock is ticking down in the fourth quarter? It’s wild to me how people try to draw this direct line between a letter grade on a transcript and actual athletic instinct. Does knowing the intricacies of macroeconomics somehow help you read a blitz or tighten up your defense? Honestly, it feels like such a stretch, doesn't it?

Honestly, you can't just breeze through this; the teacher is actually looking at the quality of your assignments and how much effort you put into keeping your notebook organized, because let me tell you, that stuff definitely counts toward your final grade.

Honestly, I find it kind of pathetic that we’re still out here grinding through these massive homework assignments just to chase some arbitrary letter grade, you know? Like, does anyone actually believe that cranking out pages of busywork for a GPA is a legitimate way to learn anything meaningful? It feels so hollow.
The whole point of this assignment is really just to get some reps in, you know? It’s all about getting that practice under your belt.

Look, I don't know if you want to call it harsh or whatever, but let's be real here—if a teacher hands out an assignment, it’s on the students to actually get it done, right? It's pretty basic stuff. And honestly, once the work is turned in, isn't it totally fair for them to face the consequences, whether that means getting a pat on the back with a reward or taking a hit with a penalty? I mean, how else are you supposed to learn how the real world works?
So, today they’re handing out these little participation trophies and performance reviews, but tomorrow? Tomorrow we’re all just sitting around waiting for that paycheck to actually hit our accounts... or are we just supposed to sit here and act surprised when the boss decides the best way to reward our blood, sweat, and tears is with a heartfelt "thanks for everything" and a pat on the back? Seriously, is that the new corporate standard now?🤷

I honestly will never wrap my head around why parents seem to think kids can just magically figure out how to walk, run, or swim—let alone ride a bike—without anyone ever stepping in to give them a little push, yet when it comes to actually learning how to read and write, suddenly everyone acts like you need to dangle a massive carrot in front of them just to get them moving? Is it just me, or is that total madness? Like, you don't exactly hand a toddler a gold star or a brand-new iPad every time they successfully navigate a sidewalk, but the second a kid opens a book, it’s all about the rewards and the constant motivation to keep them from checking out, right? It makes zero sense. 😕

I mean, honestly, I just will never wrap my head around why everyone is so absolutely terrified of a simple letter grade, you know? Like, why is there this massive, collective meltdown every time a GPA or a final mark comes out, and why are people constantly pushing for these endless, wordy descriptive evaluations instead? Is a number really that scary?😁,
Look, the whole issue isn't even about trying to motivate these fifth graders; it’s that there’s zero incentive built into those descriptive grade systems in the first place. How are you supposed to spark any drive when the feedback is just so vague? Honestly, if you hop on Facebook and find one of those groups where kids post their progress reports, you'll see exactly what I mean. It’s pretty hilarious, actually—you see these kids absolutely roasting their own grades and making fun of how useless they are.😉

I totally get where people are coming from when they say you have to bribe kids with grades just to get them to care about history, dive into the classics, or bother learning Latin and some old-school grammar, but honestly? I just don't see the logic in forcing them to memorize a multiplication table like it’s some kind of life-or-death survival skill they'll need for the rest of their lives. Like, seriously, what is the end goal there? 😕

Do you honestly believe that a bunch of first graders actually grasp the idea that what they’re grinding through in class today is going to be the stuff they actually need to survive in the real world later on? Like, do they really sit there thinking, "Hey, if I master this math right now, it’ll pay off when I'm an adult"? Of course not! They're just kids! So why on earth would we even bother trying to motivate them with the promise of some distant, theoretical future utility? It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, isn't it?😲
I don't know, man, maybe it’s just that my kids—and honestly, half the kids I hang out with—aren't exactly cutting-edge when it comes to this stuff, so they probably need a little extra nudge to care about things that, let's be real, are completely irrelevant to their lives right now...🤷

I mean, if we’re following that line of reasoning to its logical conclusion, why even bother sweating over multiplication tables anymore? We’ve all got smartphones and high-powered calculators in our pockets 24/7, right? And honestly, what's the point of drilling cursive handwriting when most people's signatures look like a caffeinated scribble on a Starbucks cup anyway? It’s like, why stress about mastering grammar rules when Microsoft Word or Grammarly can just swoop in and fix every little mistake for you? Is there actually any point to learning the fundamentals when technology basically does the heavy lifting for us?😲 I mean, seriously, what is even the point of dragging ourselves to school every single day? Like, why are we even bothering with all this?

Susan James said:Honestly, some of these goals just aren't grounded in reality. I was looking at a few of these projections earlier, and it's hard to take them seriously when they feel so disconnected from how things actually work on the ground here in the States. It’s easy to dream big, but without a practical plan, it’s just wishful thinking.
When kids start first grade, they aren't all coming from the same starting line. You see such a huge range in their prior knowledge, their motivation levels, and just how naturally they pick things up. Honestly, you can tell most of it just by looking at them during enrollment—it’s pretty obvious from day one—but the real picture usually doesn't fully crystallize until we hit the second half of the school year.
It’s honestly such a struggle when you're trying to grade dictations under these circumstances. You have one kid who can already read fluently at five years old, another who can recognize letters at six and a half but isn't reading yet, and then there's the seven-year-old who is still working on just holding a pencil correctly. Despite those massive developmental gaps, they’re all sitting in the same classroom, moving through the exact same curriculum at the same pace, and being graded on the exact same assignment. It feels like a losing battle sometimes.
I’ve always felt that a truly great teacher focuses on rewarding the actual effort and the visible progress each student makes. It’s not just about the final grade on a test; it's about recognizing how far they've come. When you grade based on growth, you aren't killing their drive—you're actually fueling it. It encourages them to keep practicing the areas where they struggle because they know their hard work is being seen and valued.
I think I might have misspoken or maybe there was just a misunderstanding in how I explained things. My intention wasn't to suggest giving a 4 or a 5 just to avoid any disappointment. It’s more about having a way to actually measure how much progress a child has made between October and February.
If he actually exists, then that's something to consider.

I think that sounds absolutely perfect!
I just sent my kid a quick message letting them know that practice isn't over until they can write down a dictation exactly as it's spoken. It’s all about getting those details right!
It’s perfectly fine to tell the team that some people need more practice while others might need a little less. That kind of tailored feedback is actually pretty helpful. What isn't okay, though, is sending out a message that everyone is forced to hit a flat "5" across the board. Everyone works differently, after all.
They really don't have to.
They really need to learn how to write properly.
If they have to write out a dictation several times until they finally get it right, it sends a pretty clear message to the kid: you just need to put in more practice. It’s kind of like when I was learning to play guitar; sometimes you just have to run through those scales over and over until the muscle memory kicks in.

The real problem with this approach is that if the focus stays almost entirely on the grade—or just the grade itself—it sends a pretty bad message to the kids. It basically tells them they’ll be stuck doing the same thing over and over again until they hit that "A" mark. It turns learning into a loop where they're just chasing a score rather than actually getting it.
It’s always such a letdown when things shift like that. You know, when you move into second grade and suddenly those five extra practice opportunities aren't there anymore—now they're expected to just sit down and master it all on their own. Or even worse, when they hit fifth grade and really need to step up and show what they've learned, only to end up with mediocre grades. It can be pretty discouraging.

Honestly? I don't think it's awesome at all, because what kids actually take away from that approach is the exact opposite—it basically tells them, "hey, don't bother studying, don't push yourself throughout the school year, just cram whenever you feel like it and everything will work out fine." And by doing that, we’re totally failing to teach them any sense of actual work ethic...

Take my little one, for example. One time she didn't even bother copying the assignment off the whiteboard because she realized a bunch of the other kids weren't doing it either; they were just playing around during recess while their moms were running around being helicopter parents and stressing everyone else out... she even brought home a phone number for some other mom and told me I should call 🙂... I told her, absolutely not. You're going to write down what I think is the right answer for the homework, and if it's wrong or missing something, then yeah, you'll get a zero, which is exactly what you earned... and you know what? She never once thought about ditching class to play during recess before finishing her work again...

And look, regardless of how silly grades might seem to us adults, for these kids, those grades are their yardstick and their motivation; descriptive feedback? That stuff just goes in one ear and out the other. They're essentially testing the waters in first grade, seeing how far they can push the boundaries... and whatever we plant in their heads during that first year is going to stick with them for the rest of their lives.

Kate Morgan14 said:Honestly, it bugs me that grading isn't even realistic in first grade...
In my little one's class, it’s nothing but straight A's and B's right now...
The teacher explained that she won't hand out any bad grades yet—she doesn't want to crush their spirits right at the start of their schooling. Apparently, they're too emotionally sensitive, and such a massive shift would be too much for them to handle early on...

In practice, this means if they bomb a spelling test or a quiz, she doesn't actually record a failing grade; instead, she just keeps having them retake it until they get it right, and only then does she finally grade it...

The kids end up with zero clue how they're actually performing. They're going to hit a massive wall in second grade when the grades actually reflect reality—I just hope they're prepared for the shock.

Honestly, if that’s how things work at your school, most parents in our district would kill for a teacher like that!😁
But for my kid, even a single mistake on a spelling test means they've already dropped to a B, and there's zero chance for a retake—everything goes straight onto the record...
I feel like in a 30-question test, maybe allowing one or two mistakes is okay, but only if the questions themselves were a bit "fuzzy"... like that recent science quiz they had about circling which tree shows autumn characteristics. They had pictures of trees with leaves, flowers, and one bare tree, and since the blossoms haven't even popped yet, most of them circled the ones with leaves they'd seen outside...

What’s better? Honestly, I have no clue... it's a total double-edged sword.
It's not smart to scare these little kids away from school in their first year, but it's also not great to just hand them participation trophies in the form of grades...

@steelmarlin77, you're basically talking out of turn without any actual ground to stand on 😁, because let's face it—no one can ever truly erase the existence of anything or anyone... sure, they might try, but they’ll always fail because there's always going to be someone out there to "bring you back," no matter who you were or what you did during your time here... I mean, if you think you have the power to "bring back" your own ancestors, or even those ancient lineages from way back, then why wouldn't those coming after you have that same chance to bring you back? Just by being born, you become this vital link in a massive chain, connecting all these other links together... maybe that feels totally insignificant to you right now, but for someone else, at some point in time, it could be everything.

steelmarlin77 said:Look, I’m not sitting on two chairs, Lawrence Torres56... It’s just that sometimes my heart aches, or maybe it just feels like it does, when there isn't even anything left to ache for.

Are you absolutely sure you aren't just sitting there?😉
The whole mess isn't happening because you love both of them; it's happening because from day one, you failed to draw a line in the sand and tell them where they can and can't go...
And this whole triage thing? It's just the inevitable fallout from all those wrong moves you made early on...

Don't even bother trying to pick one over the other,
A wife is a wife, and a mother is a mother... just get them both in line... do it for your own sanity 😛
Because look, your mom doesn't have any right to meddle in your life or your marriage, and your wife doesn't have any right to interfere in the bond between you and your mother... if they can't get along, that's their problem, not yours, right?
Honestly, the smartest move is to sit them both down at the same table and be brutally honest—tell them either they find common ground right now, or you're walking out and leaving them both behind... let them decide the stakes themselves...

Of course, that's assuming we're talking about a spouse and an elderly parent...😉

steelmarlin77 said:That's all pretty abstract, though. But how do you handle a concrete mess? Like, say, you love two different people, but they absolutely loathe each other, and both of them are giving you an ultimatum: ditch the other one or lose me forever. I'm telling you, that's a real-world problem that can only be solved by triage. You have to pick who matters more and cut the other one loose, no matter how much it sucks. How would you handle that "shoulder to shoulder" thing with life in that scenario? You could also just do nothing, let them both dump you and tear each other apart, or just ditch both of them right now and go find a third option. It seems to me that for these kinds of inevitable, recurring headaches, you really need thick skin. And I see these thick-skinned types all over the place—people who delegate their problems, dodge their debts, act cold toward anyone in need, cause chaos, steal, climb the corporate ladder, and just thrive... Did life reward them with that thick skin because it just doesn't care about anyone else? In a specific case like that, do you think you should be a pacifist and let nature take its course, or should someone like that get a little "rubbed the wrong way" so their skin thins out and they actually start paying attention to others next time? I don't think it's always wrong to push back; if people acted with a bit more backbone, maybe we wouldn't run into these endless, unsolvable conflicts all the time. Because, truthfully, these impossible situations fuel the thick-skinned people, and those people, in turn, fuel the situations. It's a feedback loop.

Honestly, this just screams "son vs. wife vs. mother" to me.😁
The wife wants her husband, the mom wants her son, and the guy ends up stuck right in the middle, trying to please everyone and failing miserably.
Trying to "triage" your way out of that disaster is a complete joke; it’s just going to lead to the same old bullshit, just wrapped up in different shiny packaging.😁
It’d be a lot better if people just stopped whining and started actually living the lives they chose for themselves. Just be a husband, be a son—stop being such a coward and trying to sit on two chairs at once, if you catch my drift.

I mean, in most cases, they aren't actually asking you for anything until you finally cave, right? It basically turns into this whole whining session where they treat you like a little kid who just *has* to get this done, and oh, look at you, you're the only one available, isn't that just great... blah, blah, blah. But then, the second you say, "Fine, whatever," suddenly you're hit with a massive list—and I mean a literal, exhaustive checklist—or if they're being slightly more "polite" about it, they'll make sure you know exactly what needs to be done and how badly you supposedly want it😁...
Or even better, my personal favorite move, when they don't even bother asking you, but instead go straight to your kid while they're still in middle school or early high school🤦... and then the kid comes home lugging this giant list that some teacher handed out, which was apparently put together by their mom because, hey, that's just how things work in certain circles here😲
And honestly, looking at that list, I don't even own a pair of underwear🤣

steelmarlin77 said:Sure, those are the broad strokes, but there’s plenty of life to live outside of religious doctrines and programmed paths. Christianity is a tricky one; they demand you give everything up with the promise of some Heaven in another place that nobody has ever actually returned from to talk about. What if you don't believe in an afterlife? Or what if it simply doesn't exist? Does any of it even matter then? And honestly, does it *really* matter if you're only doing good just to secure a spot in paradise? Because at that point, you're just manipulating yourself into creating a sense of purpose where none exists.

People need connection because, at the end of the day, we’re social animals. We give and we take whenever the mood strikes. You can't really judge who’s been more selfish or stingy, because even the tightwads are losers, or maybe Dickens was just messing with us regarding that miser who hated Christmas. Whether someone is cheap or generous usually just comes down to how they were raised. Some people are taught to be selfless from the time they can walk, while others are taught to be total narcissists. It's like how people say folks from certain regions are stingy while others are big spenders—it's often just a product of their upbringing. But that’s not the point; the point is self-actualization through giving. Man, even Mother Teresa probably wondered near the end of her life if there was any actual point to wiping the asses of the world's sickest patients, even if she did end up with all that fame and global applause. What kind of self-actualization is that? Christianity says she’s heading to a Heaven that might not exist, devotional religion would say she should have prayed or fasted more or listened closer to her guru, the Satanists would call her a fool, and the New Agers would say she should have focused on herself instead of wasting away for others. The only thing I see is that some of these selfless types burn out early, hitting a wall in their thirties or forties. So, from a pure survival standpoint, being selfless doesn't seem to pay off, but maybe, just maybe, it does from the perspective of self-actualization.

Look, sorry, but if Mother Teresa really did ask herself that, then everything she preached her whole life basically goes out the window... the entire image people built around her just falls apart. Because if your whole idea of self-fulfillment is helping and serving others, you can't go expecting anything in return, right? Not even a smile or a kind word... your sustenance should be the actual work you did for those people...

So honestly, if you aren't finding that inner spark through helping others, don't bother doing it at all. If that's not where you find your fuel, you won't find what you're looking for that way; you'd be better off looking somewhere else entirely...

steelmarlin77 said:Do you ever feel like you actually made something of yourself in this life? Because, honestly, I haven't. I poured everything I had into it, really gave my all and handed out everything I could spare to the people around me—to everyone I actually cared about—but apparently, I’m just not important enough to even warrant a response to a post like this. Not that they’d even know I wrote it, anyway. If I had to kick the bucket today, I’m pretty sure all those people have someone else more vital, or way more significant, than me to worry about. They’d move on and forget me pretty damn fast, maybe some would take a little longer, but that’s basically the whole story.

Is that supposed to be enough? You know, for enlightenment, or self-discovery, or reaching the absolute peak of human achievement?
It has to be, because there isn't anything else left to grab onto.

Look, this is more than enough if you just want to keep playing the victim, but if you actually want to wake up from that little dream you're living in... well, that's entirely up to you.🙂

urbantinker8 said:Nah.
I suppose it’s just one of those things where, legally speaking, a parent is pretty much required to show up. It feels like one of those mandatory obligations you just can't really wiggle out of, I guess, depending on the specific situation or whatever school board meeting is being called. There isn't much room for debate there, really. I suppose I should probably mention that I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately, though I can't say for certain if it actually matters in the grand scheme of things. It feels like one of those situations where you look at something once and think you understand the rhythm of it, only to realize later that you might have missed a subtle beat or two, which makes me wonder if I should perhaps take a second look just to be safe. Maybe it's just my way of overthinking, I guess, but there's a certain quiet necessity in double-checking things when the first glance doesn't feel entirely complete. Halfway through the semester. That’s where we are. Period.
It doesn't really matter whether they show up for the briefings or the formal meetings, I suppose.
I guess, if you ask me, that doesn't really qualify as systematic monitoring, which means you aren't actually getting any kind of continuous feedback loop out of it, either.
And then, I guess, after a parent finally makes the effort to show up at the school four times during the ninth month just to get some clarity, they end up staring at a mountain of descriptive feedback and qualitative comments, only to realize they can’t actually see the forest for the trees.

I mean, I’m not quite sure how anyone could claim those two things aren't connected, if that makes sense... I guess it feels like we're being told they're completely separate entities, which just seems a bit off to me, honestly.
I mean, I guess you could argue that you don't strictly need feedback from a teacher, but honestly, wouldn't it be kind of strange if you didn't? It’s just one of those things where having an outside perspective—especially someone who actually knows what they're talking about—really helps you figure out if you're actually getting anywhere or just spinning your wheels in the sand. Maybe it's not essential for every single little thing, but most of the time, I think having that guidance makes a world of difference.🤔
It seems like everyone has such a wildly different take on what "helping" a kid with their schoolwork actually looks like—it’s kind of interesting, I guess. You have one parent who is practically sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with their child through every single assignment, maybe even stepping in to finish things for them just to get it done, while then you have someone else who refuses to touch a textbook because they firmly believe that if the kid doesn't struggle through it alone, they aren't actually learning anything at all. Both sides seem to have their own logic, I suppose.

In both scenarios, I suppose you’re really going to need some honest feedback from your teacher.🤷

Well, I'm not so sure about that. Look, I’m no expert parent, but I can see exactly where my kid is struggling long before any teacher even notices... and honestly, it’s pretty obvious to anyone watching if they actually bother to look.
Maybe I'm off base here, but I really feel like we, as parents, can spot a problem way before the school does, and by the time a teacher finally flags it, so much precious time has already slipped through our fingers. I mean, a week might not sound like much, but just try dealing with a week's worth of missed homework after your kid has been home sick with the flu, and you'll realize exactly what I'm talking about...

urbantinker8 said:Well, I guess you pretty much answered your own question there:

🙂

I suppose I should probably add one more thing to this whole mess: parents basically go through about nine months without receiving any actual, concrete feedback at all, and then, once you hit that fifth month, everything just completely falls apart and turns into a total disaster.

Honestly, I feel like you're totally mixing up two different things here... if you're actually "on top of" what your kid is doing as a parent, then you don't even need formal feedback, right? But if you aren't, then showing up at the school every single week isn't going to magically fix anything either... unless you're just trying to suck up to the teachers under the guise of being some "perfect parent" when, in reality, you couldn't care less about what's actually happening.

Anyway, from what I can tell—at least looking at my daughter's class—the only parents who seem to be hovering every week are the ones whose kids are actually struggling, mostly because they're just looking for excuses to justify the behavior. There isn't really this big push to actually work on solving the underlying issues...

@Justin Allen81, they told us that we're required to have a meeting once a year, which is just... yeah, I honestly have no clue what the point of that is. Like, what's the goal? In case a kid is falling behind, does the school counselor just swoop in and take over their education, or do they just lecture the parents with some threat so they can make a quick buck while everyone continues to just baby the kid?

Andrew Doyle said:Concentration? It’s just one of those days where they lose their focus, mix up the basic steps, and fail to think through what they're doing. They end up overcomplicating things even when they clearly grasp the concept—they just stumble over the trivialities. Honestly, I deal with this at my own house. I've already reached an agreement with his teacher to have him meet with the school counselor periodically to work specifically on his focus. I'm confident we'll get this sorted out eventually. 🙂

I highly doubt it. Many much more advanced nations than ours—nations whose students consistently outperform ours on standardized testing—don't even use traditional grading systems in the lower elementary grades.

Yeah, but you're totally overlooking the biggest piece of the puzzle here: over there, the entire school system and the curriculum are actually built to support that kind of approach, unlike our setup which is just completely out of sync... I'm gonna drift a little off-topic here, so my bad to the mods, but I just need to clarify this point...
The way things work here... the system basically screws over any student finishing vocational school if they actually want to keep specializing in their field later on, because there’s just no path forward....
Take this, for example... kids who finish vocational medical programs have to go through another five years of training... they're doing school in the morning and clinicals in the afternoon, or vice versa... meanwhile, the general high schoolers just do their five or six years of standard classes and call it a day. When it comes time to apply for medical school, those vocational kids don't stand a chance because the specialized subjects they spent years studying aren't even factored into the admissions points, since they only had core general classes for the first two years....
So, what's the end result of this mess? We end up losing the kids who were actually well-prepared for their specific trades, while our system wastes everyone's time by forcing general high schoolers to sit through the exact same stuff those vocational kids already mastered years ago... what a joke, right?

Richard Perez3 said:Tanita, your exact words were actually:

it's our mistake as parents, thinking someone else should handle everything regarding school instead of us doing it ourselves...

Someone else should handle EVERYTHING regarding school, rather than us doing it ourselves

I don't get why we even bother with school if I personally have to handle everything about it.

You can't compare learning to walk, washing your hands, or getting dressed to actual schooling.

What's the point of school if a parent has to (to use your words) handle everything about it themselves.

And hey, the fact that the teacher is busy dealing with brats and doesn't have time to explain things one-on-one... sorry, I've got nothing for you there. At my job, nobody does my work for me at home just because I'm too slammed with other tasks.

See the dilemma?

Edit. Okay, fine, I'm totally splitting hairs here over that word "everything" and being extra for no reason (honestly, idk what's gotten into me 😁 lately), so maybe that's not fair of me.

All I mean is, obviously we'll help where we think it's necessary (even though, personally, the absolute worst part of my life was having my dad grill me with math problems every single weekend from 5th to 7th grade and it did zero good for me), but I don't exactly consider myself capable of "teaching" anyone. If I did, I'd be a teacher (like my mom was for 35 long years). But I just don't have the knack for it—I might have the will, but without the skill, I'd probably just cause more damage (my own self-assessment). So, logically, as a parent, helping might mean paying for a tutor or something similar, but me sitting down to teach elementary school curriculum just because the teacher is busy managing unruly kids? Give me a break. 😁

But look, Smart_bitch, as much as this might sound ridiculous to you right now, you’re going to end up doing exactly what the rest of us do—you’re going to focus exclusively on your own kid... and once that kid hits first grade, you'll see for yourself that neither the teacher can do everything, nor is it your job to be the one to explain every little "thing" to your kid...
Honestly, there's just unnecessary drama being stirred up here, especially regarding first grade... and maybe I'm wrong, but I get the impression that certain people (and I don't mean anyone specifically on this forum, please don't take this the wrong way) are just spreading panic because their own kids feel like a burden, so they're looking for an excuse to justify themselves... and believe me, there are just as many parents like that as there are those who bully kids just because they didn't get an A... people who assign homework just so they can head out for coffee earlier...

Studying with kids in first grade really boils down to exactly what I wrote, Yin Yang.... and sorry if that's a problem for some, but what else is there to say besides

it's a mistake we make as parents when we assume someone else should handle everything involving school instead of us doing it ourselves...

Of course, that’s just my personal take, and I'll leave everyone else to draw their own conclusions...

As a parent, personally, I don't care if my kid gets nothing but straight A's, and I don't care about them being labeled any particular way... above average, average, below average—it doesn't matter to me. The only thing I actually care about is that my kid is happy and content, and I want that for all kids, really... just that, and nothing more... and I also think it's our duty as parents to make sure we provide that environment for them... again, I'm just emphasizing that this is my opinion, which others can agree or disagree with...

Richard Perez3 said:Listen, for the stuff mentioned above, there wasn't some big school system—it was just us.

But where schools actually exist, who the hell am I supposed to be for them?

Plus, if the public school curriculum is designed so that any average kid can pass, yet your average kid is already struggling... I mean, how are they even teaching this "average" curriculum if the average parent has to work a full-time job just so their average kid can get through an average program?

The thing is, at least in my opinion, even a kid who's performing below average wouldn't have such a hard time if someone just took a little extra time to reach them... but when you're looking at a classroom setting where the teacher spends half the period just trying to settle down the troublemakers, isn't it obvious they don't have the luxury of giving every single kid that individual attention? On top of that, you've got kids starting first grade who can barely read a sentence or recognize letters, making it nearly impossible for them to grasp what they've just read—which means they never even realize they actually *do* know the material...

And honestly, I highly doubt any parent of one of those more "energetic" kids would ever agree to having their child pulled out into a separate class filled with nothing but kids like that... plus, does the Department of Education even have the budget to take a fourth-grade class of 25 students and split it into ten different small groups of 10? Not a chance.

So, who the hell are you going to turn to?... because let's be real, nobody cares more about whether your kid is happy and feeling successful than you do...😉

feralgardener33 said:I really hope you're right. I don't have any kids in school yet, so I wouldn't know. My sincere hope is that when she eventually starts, I won't be stuck doing her homework for her.
But listening to the moms in my circle, it's a different story. Almost every parent I talk to complains about the endless hours spent helping with homework, leaving them with zero free time.
And that thing about the required reading wasn't just me making stuff up; one mom mentioned her kid was assigned a hundred-page book that had to be finished in a single week.

So seriously, stop taking everything you read online to heart and just wait until your little one actually starts school, then you'll see firsthand that it's really not that big of a deal 😁 ...you're stressing out for no reason and just building up this huge mental image in your head that has absolutely nothing to do with reality...
The whole homework situation when they start school isn't even more intense or difficult than what you're already doing with them now...
While they're busy scribbling through their assignments, you can easily whip up lunch, fold laundry, and all that... once they're done, glancing over their work isn't any harder than looking at a drawing your kid made for you today....and as for studying, you can totally turn that into a game while you're getting other things done; there isn't an overwhelming amount of material and it's not nearly as scary as it sounds, plus most of it is stuff your kid probably already knows, you might just need to frame it a slightly different way so they grasp it, you know... like... asking them what they did outside today, or talking about personal hygiene... like, what do we need to do to stay clean and tidy? Just let them tell you, and if they miss something, fill in the gaps... plenty of them struggle with breaking words down into syllables....if you ask them to do it, they act like they've never heard of it, but if you have them sing the word, they can do it perfectly....is it really that hard? Just tell them to sing it the same way... see? Problem solved....as for addition and subtraction, just tell them to imagine they're counting pieces of candy or dollars, and don't sweat it, they'll pick it up faster than you think....and reading assignments, how do you get them interested? I don't know, maybe when they want a cookie, some pancakes, or whatever, say, "Okay... I'll make that for you, but while I'm working, you read this book to me..." and trust me, they will read...

There are tons of tricks to get them motivated to learn and how to help them, anyway, most of them actually *want* to do it, especially in first grade... they all love it when they know something and get a little shout-out from their teacher...
Plus, from the very beginning, you're building those habits and encouraging them to learn, which is going to benefit both you and them down the road....
The key is just staying consistent, like spending a little time every day after school reviewing what they learned that day... and honestly, you'll never have a problem...

And, frankly, speaking as a parent (not that anyone take this the wrong way), I really don't get how first grade and studying is such a struggle for some parents...
I mean, since the moment they were born, we've been dedicated to them... if we had enough time to feed them every four hours and spend that much time changing diapers, how can we suddenly claim we don't have time for learning now? We taught these kids how to talk, walk, and wash their hands... all of that took time and we found it....now, all of a sudden, we just don't have it?😲

feralgardener33 said:A hundred-page reading assignment for a first grader?! And parents are just expected to do the heavy lifting for them?!
Then you have people claiming kids today don't have it as hard as we did, arguing that they're "less burdened" because parts of the curriculum get cut every year (if that's the case, what on earth were we dealing with back then?)
Let me be clear: during my first four years of elementary school, I didn't do a single thing at home. Nothing. Zero. All my homework and studying happened strictly within the school walls since I was in an after-school program. Do you teachers actually grasp how little time a parent truly has with their child once school starts? If a kid is expected to spend every waking hour on academics, all other activities just fall by the wayside. It’s not right.
And what you just wrote honestly shocked me. Are you suggesting that only the "super intelligent" types—those with some supposedly advanced way of thinking—deserve straight A's? That they just got lucky at birth or happen to have highly educated parents, while everyone else is predestined to struggle with C's and B's regardless of how much effort or heart they put into their work? That's just awful.

Hold on, sorry, but you're totally jumping the gun here without any reason... when we talk about the reading assignment for first grade, "wait and see" by Stanislav Femenić isn't even that collection of poems everyone is arguing about, it’s actually just a picture book
http://www.amazon.com/wait-and-see/
that's only 36 pages total including all the illustrations...

and honestly, the kids who actually have this book (even though most teachers don't even assign it as required reading) know exactly what they need to check out and read....

Just to give you an idea, here's one of the little poems,

ladybug one

One night
ladybug one
was feeling so blue
someone had hidden
her spots from view.
She cried her eyes out
all alone
on a fragrant flower
No one else
could be found
as sad as she was in the world.
But then in the morning
the sun came along
She was so happy
because it put back
once again
those spots where they belong.

So, seriously, is it really such a massive ordeal to read fifteen little poems like that in a month?

Richard Morris43 said:I’m with you, rowdypanther12. Seriously, they should just give them these bite-sized little stories that can be summarized in like, two quick sentences.
Since we're all hanging out here anyway, does anyone actually know who writes these standardized tests? Like, what is the actual logic behind how these questions are framed? It makes zero sense to me. Take this one science question from the exam: "continue the timeline from the given concept." Then right underneath, it just says "night" followed by an arrow for a fill-in-the-blank.
My kid ended up writing night, day, night, day, night, day 😁. Why? Because in elementary school, they were taught that a day is just made up of days and nights. If the question was actually asking for the specific times of day, he would have known how to answer, because that's how he was taught.
Why go through all this effort to twist the questions into knots?

Just check the textbook on page 60, Day - time of day, it's the exact same thing in the workbook... everything follows the same pattern...
And honestly, it's not twisting the question at all; the question is perfectly aligned with what they were taught and how they learned it...😉, now *that* would be twisting it... if the textbook and workbook said one thing, but the actual exam expected something completely different.