Posts by mistydrifter23

To whom it may concern,
First off—please excuse my lack of technical terminology and general dental expertise; my professional background is quite removed from this field, so I ask for your patience.
The issue is as follows:

Back in December, I decided to get veneers on my lateral incisors because they were appearing crooked. My dentist—who runs a hybrid practice, part private and part contracted through insurance—had them made within two weeks, charged me $350, and installed them. The problem? She failed to warn me about anything or even suggest an X-ray. I have impacted teeth growing above those laterals that haven't erupted yet, which have been pushing my lateral incisors out of alignment for years. Honestly, she shouldn't have needed a single scan to notice that—let alone have the moral obligation to advise against a procedure that I just spent $350 on, knowing full well these teeth would soon shift and look worse than before. These impacting teeth are visible just by looking at my open mouth; no X-ray required.
As I mentioned—I am no expert here—but regarding those specific teeth: six years ago, when I first noticed the misalignment (which was more of a personal observation than something others pointed out), my previous dentist sent me for scans and an orthodontist consultation. At the time, the specialist suggested surgery to extract the impacted teeth—if I recall correctly, that was also an additional cost, feel free to correct me.

Even though I suspected she was glossing over a major detail, I held onto a bit of hope that the veneers wouldn't shift—at least not until all my teeth were leveled out. My logic was that once everything was straight, there wouldn't be any room for movement. Beyond that, I simply lacked the time and the budget to juggle multiple specialists, so a "quick fix" for my aesthetic concerns seemed like the most logical path.

Now, it’s mid-July. After only six months with these veneers, one has shifted so much that my central incisor has actually cracked, and there's now a gap between my lateral and canine that looks large enough to fit another tooth. Even my lower teeth, which have always been perfectly aligned, are now a mess because the upper ones aren't providing the right structural support. All of this happened in just half a year. The other lateral is relatively fine, for now.

During my last check-up, I told her the tooth was moving. Her response? She claimed my lower teeth were creating the pressure, and then she immediately started grinding down my lower lateral incisor—without even asking. I didn't let on that I knew she was treating me like an idiot, because it felt futile. She ground the tooth down, and still, nothing changed. Generally speaking, she is arrogant and terrible at communicating; she practically refuses to speak to a patient unless you lead with exactly what kind of procedure will put money in her pocket.

I feel desperate, disappointed, and cheated. I'm out of money and feel powerless to fix this, even though I know both the aesthetics and the functionality are going to get significantly worse. It shouldn't be my responsibility to study dentistry—after all, the whole point of having specialized professions is for experts to complement one another. At least, that was the original intent of society before materialism took over everything.

My question is: do I have any legal standing to file a complaint and demand a long-term correction of this situation? What are the deadlines for such a claim, and if anyone has any comments or advice, I would be incredibly grateful!

I am looking for a new female friend 🙂 to discuss various topics, grab coffee, go on road trips, and things of that nature. I am in my late 20s—any woman interested in making a new friend should feel free to reach out. Thanks 🙂

frozengardener7 said:My thoughts were along these lines...

Is it actually possible to change? To alter our habits, our behaviors, or our fundamental flaws?

Can intensive self-work truly "eliminate" those deep-seated struggles that feel like an abyss?

Does that old saying "a leopard can't change its spots" hold any truth?

I am questioning this concept of "character." Can a shift in nature ever be proven, or is everything ultimately just *res non verba*?

I believe changing habits is entirely possible—especially those destructive ones like addiction. Once you make a firm decision to walk away, that focus shifts toward actively diverting your mind from those vices. It applies to other patterns too; if you've spent years just rotting on the couch, deciding to stop means committing to finishing a degree or finding a career. You build a new routine, and eventually, the old way of life simply fades into the background.
I believe we can rectify certain shortcomings ourselves—for instance, if we are being dishonest, disorganized, or simply lazy. When we find ourselves sidelined by our own actions, or when life decides to hit us hard as a consequence, I suspect it will be quite easy to adjust how we carry ourselves around others, in society, and even toward ourselves.
I knew someone growing up—someone who was remarkably dim-witted, yet somehow managed to be incredibly malicious and envious. She barely scraped by in elementary school, let alone high school. Eventually, she managed to enroll in a rigorous university program and actually graduated—though, let’s be honest, college is often more about sheer persistence than raw intellect. We reconnected after fifteen years and talked for hours. I approached her without any preconceived notions, despite how nasty and slow she was as a child. As the conversation unfolded, it became clear that the malice hadn't faded one bit; she couldn't stop taking little jabs at me—even though, educationally speaking, she had surpassed me in the time since we last spoke. The topics she chose and the way she argued them were simply not the hallmarks of an intelligent person. Regardless of her age or her degree, she remained fundamentally unintelligent. It's a classic case of "a leopard can't change its spots." I was genuinely stunned—it was hard to believe that despite everything she had accomplished and all the years that had passed, her core character hadn't shifted an inch. Sure, some people truly evolve—they grow in intelligence and refine how they treat others—but those people seem to be in the minority when it comes to making a massive leap from who they once were. Character is something you're born with; it’s written into your DNA. Socialization isn't enough to overhaul who you are—some things are just predetermined, much like our physical build. If you inherit a certain height or body type from your family, there isn't much you can do about it (how exactly would one "shrink" themselves?—not that I'm suggesting it).
Another point—people can certainly decline as they age. It’s often a cocktail of what we inherited and how we react to life—for instance, someone might flirt with their genetic predisposition for alcoholism through casual drinking until it eventually spirals into a full-blown dependency. Then there's socialization—how our experiences shape us. You could be a great partner, yet if you get burned by three different people in a row, you aren't necessarily the problem, but those betrayals might leave you emotionally numb—effectively turning you into the very person who becomes the "problematic" one in future relationships.

Kyle Lopez36 said:I am trying my best to be there for a friend going through a rough patch. He’s dealing with the fallout of a long-term breakup. I’ve been doing a lot of listening and offering advice, and I honestly thought we had made some real progress over the last couple of months.

Then, a few days ago, he starts telling me about this disastrous date he went on with someone new. He then goes on to describe how he reached out to his ex just to lash out at her, accusing her of seeing someone else and throwing all these other nasty insults her way.

It genuinely floored me—the sheer hypocrisy of him blaming his ex for the exact same things he is guilty of. He’s judging this new girl for being honest about her past struggles, even though he clearly hasn't dealt with his own baggage yet. He’s attacking his ex for moving on, despite the fact that he was the one calling her...
I tried to listen patiently, but eventually, I had to cut him off. I asked him if he actually hears himself, or if he realizes he’s acting like a total jerk.

I want to understand him and help him, but I cannot wrap my head around how someone can take my advice on how to act like a decent, respectful human being and respond with, "What do I get out of it?"

I get that he’s hurting. I’m trying to balance active listening—not following some textbook method, mind you, just trying to be empathetic, recognize his emotions, and reflect back what he says—with giving advice since that's what he asks for. I’m not his therapist, so I feel like I’m taking on a bit of his burden by offering solutions I believe might actually work.
I think I lost my cool when he dropped those antisocial comments. It isn't the first time he's said something incredibly out of line. The first time, I kept it light and used sarcasm to remind him that I’m his friend and want to support him, but added that if I were his ex, I’d probably punch him in the face because I know exactly how he treats her after a breakup. I didn't think I was being too harsh then because I managed to mask it with humor and stay in control. But this most recent outburst? I just blurted it out in pure disbelief, wondering if he even understood the nonsense he was spewing. I was just too shocked to handle it gracefully.

How do you all react in situations like this? How does a professional handle it when a client makes such blatantly antisocial statements, knowing a therapist can't really give their opinion unless it's extremely carefully packaged?

And how should I carry myself in a less formal relationship?
On one hand, a friend wants to share his struggles with me, and I want to remain that safe space for him. On the other hand, he says things that are deeply antisocial to justify his behavior, and I don't know how to show him that his actions are fundamentally wrong without sounding patronizing or lecturing him on things he didn't ask for.

In our last conversation, I tried to frame it pragmatically: I told him he needs to approach new people with genuine interest, without expecting anything in return or dumping his own unresolved issues onto them—because, strictly speaking, that kind of body language and attitude gives him a better shot at getting what he wants. I was pushing him to see others as individuals for his own benefit, but I really want to find a way to explain that people deserve to be treated as humans, regardless of what we might gain from them, without coming across as a moralizing preacher... which I know won't work with him.

Please, help!
Beyond helping me navigate this specific mess, I feel like this is a life skill I really need to master...

Hey. Here’s my take: breaking up after a long-term relationship definitely leaves a mark on the psyche, even for people who weren't in it for emotional reasons. They still have to close a massive chapter of their lives and start from scratch. And for those who were truly invested—loving, supporting, giving everything—the fallout is even worse, even if the relationship was mutual, because they're left with nothing. Let's assume the breakup wasn't a sudden explosion, but rather a slow fade where both parties had time to adjust; even so, the pain is real and the emotional scars can last a lifetime. You see it in how first loves tend to be the most devastating because people get burned and traumatized early on. So, regardless of whether your friend was behaving poorly toward his ex, the breakup clearly hit him hard, and I don't think you should judge him for that. He's your friend, not hers. It's noble of you to want to be fair and hold him accountable, but if he isn't an idiot (and I assume he isn't, since you wouldn't spend your time with someone unintelligent), he likely knows he's in the wrong. His ego and his emotions just won't let him act differently right now. He hasn't cooled off yet. People only truly move on when they stop caring about their ex—when they don't even think of them, let alone reach out with messages like that.
Just let him be—he’ll get over it. As for you, as absurd as it sounds, he might actually find your current state impressive right now. We women aren't fools. We know that an angry man is just a man struggling with a messy cocktail of emotions beneath the surface. You want to know what the absolute worst part is? Being ghosted after a breakup. If you've lived through that, you know I'm telling the truth. It shows the person never truly cared; you weren't even worth the effort of being disliked. Paradoxical, isn't it?

One more thing—if you're currently in a relationship, no matter how close you two were as friends, you are essentially a trigger for his frustration. You represent a successful, lasting connection, while his has fallen apart. So, rest assured, he isn't looking at your efforts with gratitude; he’d likely rather you just disappeared from his sight. And that's just human nature. Don't mistake it for narcissism or some kind of disorder. We all put ourselves first, then everyone else. It’s practically hardwired into our DNA. Once enough time passes and the sting fades, he'll stop envying you and might actually be happy for you.

And those antisocial comments? He’s just trying to play the "tough guy" who isn't hurt. In reality, he probably wants to break down and cry, but he knows that even if he did, he'd end up regretting it because society expects men to just suck it up. Again, you're the one doing fine here—why should you have to watch him suffer (in his view)? It's just how the human brain works. Sometimes you have to tune out all this noise about "humanity" and "solidarity"—which, let's face it, are usually just stories rather than actions—because that's how we understand why problems arise in the first place. Problems happen because humans are, by nature, pretty selfish creatures.