Posts by blueotter28

I don't know, I guess I just made a silly little joke. It really wasn't appropriate for the topic at hand.

Justin Rivera17 said:blueotter28 - still navigating that first year plus of postpartum life.

Sent from my 6045K via Reddit

Oh, okay. I get it now.🙂

Justin Rivera17 said:Finally, this thread is actually getting some life in it!

Honestly? Women just need common sense. We’re all different—as women, as pregnant people, and as moms. Our babies are different too.

It wasn't until this current pregnancy that I realized how absolutely wrecked I actually was during the postpartum period. And honestly, I didn't even realize it at the time. I wasn't even depressed; my life has been a thousand times better and more stable since I got married and had kids.

But man, what a waste of energy. On the surface, I looked like I was crushing it—getting everything done, traveling, staying active, keeping up with everything. I didn't hold myself back, I just... adapted. Great, right? Except for the fact that I was constantly stiff, terrified, and completely overwhelmed. It didn't matter how much I prepared, how mature I felt, or how amazing my husband, mother-in-law, and even my mom (who finally started acting like a sane person) were... the weight of responsibility just crushed me. We always talk about how our kids are the most important thing, but let's be real: parents are the foundation. You have to find a whole new sense of self in this new life—figuring out who you are and what you're capable of—all while being responsible for another tiny human's entire existence.

That said, I think we’re great parents. I actually love the "impossible" toddler phase because they finally start walking, running, talking, eating on their own, playing solo, and telling you when they need to go to the bathroom.
And even though there weren't any massive disasters, it was still incredibly hard. It’s only with this new pregnancy that I’ve finally loosened up a bit, opened up, and remembered who I actually am.

But now, I’m terrified those doors I just opened will slam shut again. I’m scared I’ll end up picking up the kids, heading into Washington, D.C. for a weekend, and circling a museum because I’m too embarrassed to climb the stairs with a baby and ask a security guard to help me with the stroller.

It sounds stupid, but that’s just how it is. Sometimes it isn't about the big stuff. Sometimes you function perfectly fine on the outside—you surprise even yourself—but you lose yourself in the process.

And here I am with a wonderful, totally normal husband and partner... who, by the way, decided to buy his wife an expensive stroller just 20 days before giving birth. Why? Because she decided she wanted to spend the money she’d get from the local government maternity grant on it. Money that won't even hit my bank account for another two months.

Some people manage to juggle everything, some find new strength within themselves, some finish college, and then there's me—buying a fancy stroller because I'm too incapable of driving a car in the final stages of pregnancy and the first few months of a baby's life.

The point is, kudos to everyone. Just use your head and do your best. It doesn't matter if you're the kind of parent who could fly to the moon and still raise a kid, or the one who spends an hour reading a book and ends up burning the mac and cheese. Take it slow. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint... it lasts forever.

So, were you struggling during the pregnancy and birth, or was it before you even got pregnant? I'm a little lost here.

Either they target someone who was actually a decent person during their life, ensuring they get kicked out to a nursing home 😬

People who soak up other people's suffering like a sponge really ought to be working in service to others, but they almost always run straight into leeches in the real world. Since they don't have any defense mechanisms in place, they just end up getting hurt by everyone.

Honestly, I feel like giving yourself an imaginary slap in the face whenever you start spiraling into nothing but pure pity. Our society isn't actually as bad as everyone tries to make it out to be. Most of the time, we’re just dealing with a bunch of predators, and people constantly try to paint the situation as being way worse than it actually is.

It really got under my skin thinking this would all be so easy—that I’d stay active, high-energy, and just totally vibrant right up until the end. It wasn't nearly as easy as I tried to make it, no matter how hard I pushed myself. But I guess I've learned to appreciate the quiet moments now.
The healthcare system was another huge frustration; you basically never know what to expect, and you're stuck playing by their rules and meeting their arbitrary criteria.
It also bugged me how people immediately acted like I didn't need any help at all and could just handle everything on my own. Apparently, because I turned down a few vague requests—like babysitting once the baby arrives 😕 or grabbing coffee with the other moms 😕😕—it was suddenly: "Oh, you don't want to hang out with us? Fine, then don't expect us to help you either!"

I've had to tune out all the horror stories about gaining weight during pregnancy, the delivery discomfort that seems to have nothing to do with actual labor, and the postpartum "struggle"—you know, when you can't lose the weight because the baby is constantly nursing and spitting up and crying and just getting heavier and heavier... Honestly, I don't know how some women who've been through it can have the nerve to talk to pregnant women that way.

What actually caught me by surprise in a good way were the strangers who went out of their way to help me or let me pass. They honestly restored my faith in humanity. 😍
The doctors and the hospital staff were also great 👍
And I actually surprised myself too, seeing just how much I was capable of doing on my own, knowing there was one tiny little being counting on me. 😍

I finally realized what they mean by a "different state of being"—those pregnancy hormones are real—but realizing you're carrying a whole new life inside you is stronger than any obstacle you face.

I only check the news if there’s a trending topic that actually catches my interest, which usually means reading about things going wrong in society. I feel like I need to stay informed about the dark stuff that could actually affect me—you know, like how certain corporations exploit their workers, hospitals acting completely inhumane, or just the sheer level of sadistic lunatics out there who abuse animals... It’s disturbing. I also find myself drawn to stories about toxic relationships and why they happen; let's face it, not everyone is a good person, and some people are just straight-up evil. You can't really avoid it unless you decide to move to a deserted island or go work on some remote ranch somewhere.

Honestly, I don't handle it very well. Not long ago, there was a report about a man dying due to negligence by an employee at a government agency, so I started Googling to see if that was an isolated incident, and I ended up finding things that were way worse. It totally ruined my weekend...