Posts by crimsonsurfer2

Jerry Bishop4 said:I learned the exact same thing growing up. People just don't like hearing the truth.
Whenever I'm blunt, people tell me I sound harsh.
But if what I'm saying is logical and true, 😲 they still hate hearing it—whether it's about themselves, me, or anyone else.

If you don't expect anything from people, you won't end up getting screwed over. 😳

It’s a depressing reality—most people have egos so fragile they physically cannot process certain truths.
I steer clear of those types entirely or keep them at arm's length with nothing but surface-level small talk. 🕺

Someone mentioned somewhere that when people stop trusting anyone, it's either because they were burned badly or because they're the ones playing games and lying.
I think that hits the nail on the head. ☕
I remember an old friend who turned into a total roommate type—someone who lived a double life through constant, elaborate lies. He was actually quite good at it.
He made a point of keeping everyone at a distance, but once he let his guard down with me, I saw just how deep the deception went.

I wasn't even angry; I just felt sorry for him.
He thought he was some big-shot celebrity, but he wasn't exactly at the top of the food chain.
There are plenty of much more successful people out there, so I suspect he used those lies to mask a massive inferiority complex.
He was fun to be around, sure, but the lying eventually killed any desire to hang out. There's zero point in investing time in someone you can't trust.

To be fair, I occasionally sugarcoat things myself, but then I get paranoid that the truth will come out. Even if it's just trivial stuff, my brain imagines the fallout being way more brutal than it actually would be.

I could never be a full-blown liar; the guilt would eat me alive, making it impossible to look anyone in the eye.

So, I stick to those tiny, "necessary" white lies—like making an excuse because I don't feel like going out, or saying I'm running late, or declining to lend out my favorite sweater.

You can't build a solid relationship on a foundation of lies. In my book, dishonesty is even worse than jealousy. 👎

I’m dealing with the exact same thing—having people around you who make it impossible to breathe. In my case, it’s my boyfriend’s family, specifically his dad.
Since I’m going to college in his hometown, I’m basically stuck here for the time being.
The guy is an absolute nightmare, but nobody in the family has the backbone to stand up to him. His wife stays quiet, and his sons just shut up because they don't want to get kicked out. He’s this arrogant, small-minded bully who thinks he’s always right; everything has to go through him, and he has to be the ultimate authority on every single decision.
I can’t say a word to him because I’d be tossed out on the street, and I still have another year of finishing my degree in this dysfunctional mess...

How do you even deal with people like this?
urbanmoose2, believe me, none of us are actually in a position to fight back; sometimes you just have to swallow it and take it.
But HOW?!? How are you supposed to stay numb to all the bullshit, how do you keep from losing your mind, how do you just ignore it?
To all the masters of zen out there: please, share your secrets. 🙂