How to live with scars?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
I just signed up specifically to let you know that you aren't alone in this.
Everything you mentioned about yourself—it’s the exact same story for me. My arms, my body... it's all there. There is zero chance an apology is going to cut it; it’s obvious these were intentional.
I’m actually finishing up my degree right now, and I’m already dealing with the same anxieties. My future career involves some physical work, which means I'm facing plenty of situations where wearing long sleeves is going to feel incredibly awkward.
Those long sleeves are a massive pain when it's hot out, but honestly, even if I were melting, I wouldn't take them off—nothing burns more than the stares from other people. I’ve heard about the gels, the creams, and the laser surgeries, but I’m just not interested. My issue isn't the scars themselves, nor is it the dark places they came from. I don't mind wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life; I just don't want people seeing them.
I haven't been to the beach or a pool in years. I had to walk away from a whole bunch of physical activities I was planning to pursue seriously because I knew there was no way I could show my body. During the summer, every single moment of daily life is spent being hyper-aware of my arms and my movements. Whether it's grabbing coffee with friends, standing in line at the grocery store, picking up books at the library, or doctor's appointments (which are the absolute worst)—I’ve subconsciously learned how to gesture in a way that keeps my arms hidden. Sometimes I look ridiculous to myself, sitting at a cafe trying to tuck my arms away, but anything is better than having people notice.
A practical tip for surviving the summer while wearing long sleeves and t-shirts: just pretend you have extreme sun sensitivity or some kind of psoriasis. People will usually just wave it off immediately (pun intended)
I think I've moved past that phase—or at least I hope I have. That period is behind me and I'm doing okay now. I don't feel any obligation to explain myself or justify my choices to anyone. The reason I wear long sleeves isn't out of shame; it's because I refuse to let people judge me based on those scars. And they do judge—friends, family, and every stranger I cross paths with.
I reached out just to show you that there are others out there, and because I'm genuinely curious about how "normal" people view this stuff. If anyone wanders into this thread, please share your perspective on meeting someone who seems totally "normal," regular, great—and then they notice the scars. Any opinion is welcome.
Everything you mentioned about yourself—it’s the exact same story for me. My arms, my body... it's all there. There is zero chance an apology is going to cut it; it’s obvious these were intentional.
I’m actually finishing up my degree right now, and I’m already dealing with the same anxieties. My future career involves some physical work, which means I'm facing plenty of situations where wearing long sleeves is going to feel incredibly awkward.
Those long sleeves are a massive pain when it's hot out, but honestly, even if I were melting, I wouldn't take them off—nothing burns more than the stares from other people. I’ve heard about the gels, the creams, and the laser surgeries, but I’m just not interested. My issue isn't the scars themselves, nor is it the dark places they came from. I don't mind wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life; I just don't want people seeing them.
I haven't been to the beach or a pool in years. I had to walk away from a whole bunch of physical activities I was planning to pursue seriously because I knew there was no way I could show my body. During the summer, every single moment of daily life is spent being hyper-aware of my arms and my movements. Whether it's grabbing coffee with friends, standing in line at the grocery store, picking up books at the library, or doctor's appointments (which are the absolute worst)—I’ve subconsciously learned how to gesture in a way that keeps my arms hidden. Sometimes I look ridiculous to myself, sitting at a cafe trying to tuck my arms away, but anything is better than having people notice.
A practical tip for surviving the summer while wearing long sleeves and t-shirts: just pretend you have extreme sun sensitivity or some kind of psoriasis. People will usually just wave it off immediately (pun intended)
I think I've moved past that phase—or at least I hope I have. That period is behind me and I'm doing okay now. I don't feel any obligation to explain myself or justify my choices to anyone. The reason I wear long sleeves isn't out of shame; it's because I refuse to let people judge me based on those scars. And they do judge—friends, family, and every stranger I cross paths with.
I reached out just to show you that there are others out there, and because I'm genuinely curious about how "normal" people view this stuff. If anyone wanders into this thread, please share your perspective on meeting someone who seems totally "normal," regular, great—and then they notice the scars. Any opinion is welcome.