How do I stop being a pushover and actually get heard?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Does anyone else actually exist in your life besides the "superiors"?
I mean, think about it—friends, subordinates, mentors, or just people who could potentially matter to you.
It sounds like your folks have a hard time seeing you as an independent adult, and honestly, you’ll probably never get their blessing to simply exist, to be yourself, or to have a voice.
But there’s a loophole: if you don't ask for permission, you can't really be told "no." 😉
It doesn't matter whether what you have to say is some profound philosophical insight or just total nonsense. Most people spend most of their lives talking absolute garbage 🙂
and they usually feel incredibly brilliant while doing it, totally lost in the conversation. 🙂
So, even if you end up blathering something completely stupid, chances are someone said it just as recently.
Here is my advice:
1.) Try redirecting all that energy toward other people—friends, acquaintances, or even folks on an online forum (since there isn't much better 😁 out there).
2.) Make a commitment to yourself to say something out loud at least once a day for a few months, regardless of how much resistance you feel. Go into it prepared to be judged. It’s like doing push-ups; you know your muscles are going to ache, but you do it to build strength.
3.) Listen to Azra 😁 Well, it doesn't strictly have to be Azra; it could be something newer and cooler, but something with that same rebellious spirit. That kind of music was what pulled me out of my own "I'm not allowed to exist" headspace a long time ago.
Something like:
Do something
do something for your conscience
don't think you're alone
take charge, take action
forget the fear
so many women looking for your help
so many women dreaming
so many women sighing quietly
it's a madhouse out there
do something about your nerves
stop the shaking
be like Valentino
don't hesitate
there's no time for a better future
no time to rest
no time to live again
nobody is young anymore
come on, just move already
come on, get going
come on, do something
come on...
do something, it's your duty
you know so much
you aren't stupid, there are plenty like you
don't despair
spit in your own face and become a man
let your voice be heard
spit in your own face, spit in their eyes
don't falter
come on...
do something for yourself
something big
protect your pride forever and everywhere
shake things up
shut the door on rotten moralists
shut the door on the critics
shut the door on the feminists
shut the door on everyone
come on...
P.S. Looking at the title of this thread and the sense of irony here, I can tell you've got some grit and a voice of your own. So, I don't doubt for a second that you'll find a way. 👍
If things ever feel too heavy, even without the extra weight, seeking professional psychological help is one of the best ways to rediscover yourself and finally give yourself permission to speak up.
I mean, think about it—friends, subordinates, mentors, or just people who could potentially matter to you.
It sounds like your folks have a hard time seeing you as an independent adult, and honestly, you’ll probably never get their blessing to simply exist, to be yourself, or to have a voice.
But there’s a loophole: if you don't ask for permission, you can't really be told "no." 😉
It doesn't matter whether what you have to say is some profound philosophical insight or just total nonsense. Most people spend most of their lives talking absolute garbage 🙂
and they usually feel incredibly brilliant while doing it, totally lost in the conversation. 🙂
So, even if you end up blathering something completely stupid, chances are someone said it just as recently.
Here is my advice:
1.) Try redirecting all that energy toward other people—friends, acquaintances, or even folks on an online forum (since there isn't much better 😁 out there).
2.) Make a commitment to yourself to say something out loud at least once a day for a few months, regardless of how much resistance you feel. Go into it prepared to be judged. It’s like doing push-ups; you know your muscles are going to ache, but you do it to build strength.
3.) Listen to Azra 😁 Well, it doesn't strictly have to be Azra; it could be something newer and cooler, but something with that same rebellious spirit. That kind of music was what pulled me out of my own "I'm not allowed to exist" headspace a long time ago.
Something like:
Do something
do something for your conscience
don't think you're alone
take charge, take action
forget the fear
so many women looking for your help
so many women dreaming
so many women sighing quietly
it's a madhouse out there
do something about your nerves
stop the shaking
be like Valentino
don't hesitate
there's no time for a better future
no time to rest
no time to live again
nobody is young anymore
come on, just move already
come on, get going
come on, do something
come on...
do something, it's your duty
you know so much
you aren't stupid, there are plenty like you
don't despair
spit in your own face and become a man
let your voice be heard
spit in your own face, spit in their eyes
don't falter
come on...
do something for yourself
something big
protect your pride forever and everywhere
shake things up
shut the door on rotten moralists
shut the door on the critics
shut the door on the feminists
shut the door on everyone
come on...
P.S. Looking at the title of this thread and the sense of irony here, I can tell you've got some grit and a voice of your own. So, I don't doubt for a second that you'll find a way. 👍
If things ever feel too heavy, even without the extra weight, seeking professional psychological help is one of the best ways to rediscover yourself and finally give yourself permission to speak up.