Posts by Ryan Stewart8

nimblelynx7, please, just stop talking nonsense. We actually ran into each other during a similar debate once before, and it turned out those "arguments" of yours were totally baseless then, just like they are now. It’s not like anyone is attacking professionalism or anything—if there even is any—we’re just calling out this absolutely insane way things are being handled.

Daniel Gomez10, I guess the reality is that it depends a lot on who’s doing the evaluating and how big of a deal they personally make out of what they see. But at the same time, in both instances, they definitely spotted something. As for whether it’s truly critical or a massive headache for the school district, I probably shouldn't judge since I don't have all the details.
The whole issue with Andrew Wright2's situation is that it looks like they decided to delay development for a child who is perfectly on track based on nothing more than a whim and a single sentence, and yet everyone just went along with it.

Andrew Wright2 said:Nah, they aren't long or anything at the welfare office. It’s just a woman who admitted herself she’s struggling within the system. We aren't being watched by the state or whatever, we're just dealing with a kid starting school in the fall.

I was actually watching one social worker while I was waiting there—just chilling at her desk. She’s snapping selfies and scrolling Facebook on the clock. Meanwhile, I’m stuck outside just staring into her office.

We aren't special cases if that's what you're worried about.

Verdan nailed it regarding their job.

And look, I can't comment on how things work in NYC. I don't know.

I'm just saying how we were treated during the whole process.

Since we're arguing over whether people follow protocol or not... let me ask you this: if you were in NYC and your kid had a cold that kept getting worse, would you want five different doctors checking them out? Would you want them sent for an X-ray just to make sure it wasn't pneumonia?

100% yes. But that’s not how they do it at Santa Monica. They wait until everything is hitting the fan before they even think about an X-ray. We ended up in the ER twice only to be brushed off with "it's just a virus." Then my kid hits a 104 fever that won't break, starts shaking, can't breathe, but bloodwork looks fine. They keep him for six days on two antibiotics, then send him home with a third one they didn't even bother using to treat him. Twelve hours later, it's back to square one—shaking, fever, struggling to breathe. Back to the doctor, gets a fourth antibiotic (the one they used in the hospital), and finally, the symptoms recede. Then the kid wakes up covered in a rash from head to waist like he rolled through poison ivy. Run back to the doctor for shots and pills, swap to a fifth antibiotic, and *finally* the illness clears. They have no clue which med caused the reaction—they're just guessing or maybe it's just too many drugs. His white cell count tanked so hard he had zero immunity; went in at 9, left at 2. All because of those antibiotics being slammed into him in ten days. He was stuck in quarantine for a month and a half. No going out. Everything seems okay for now, but I lost 15 pounds just from the stress.

After all that, the little one caught bad bronchitis and I ended up with pneumonia and a 106 fever.

I mean, I guess we shouldn't really be surprised that things are messy when people like her are basically everywhere in the system. 🙄 She’s part of what makes the whole thing work, or fail, you know? And honestly, looking at how she handles her business, she might actually be one of the reasons why everything feels a bit more broken than it should be.

Andrew Wright2 said:If you get it, you get it—the final say always rests with some government-appointed expert board. They’re the ones pulling the trigger on the "yes" or "no."

I guess the inspectors are doing their thing, but honestly, I have no clue. Hard to say.

Kid’s got another year of preschool left, then he’s off to elementary school by next fall. And that’s basically it.

Yeah, it's usually some city or county board, depending on where you live. But just because they hold those positions doesn't necessarily mean they're actually doing a good job, even if the highest powers in the land put them there. 😉

I can tell you for sure regarding New York City that you don't just get postponements handed out like candy, so that whole thing about signing stuff with the social services office isn't really common practice like it might be in your neck of the woods, and it's definitely not always part of the standard procedure here.

Richard Perez3 said:I honestly have no clue how all those specialists managed to sign off on this.
A close friend of mine has a kid with really obvious developmental delays, and before the school doctor even laid eyes on the child, her first response was basically, "We don't just hand out deferrals easily, and I rarely grant them."
I mean, fine—once she actually saw the medical reports and met the kid, she approved it, but we all know you don't just get those things handed over just because a parent asks.
I'm lost.

It makes zero sense to me either, and frankly, it’s pretty terrible. Obviously, there’s a massive difference between cities, but I still can't wrap my head around why they treat postponements so flippantly.

Lady, look, I'm not trying to lecture you here, and I think I have a pretty solid grasp on the actual procedure for how these extensions get approved—or at least how they *should* work in a place like yours.
The fact that where you live, these delays are handed out like candy and everyone just accepts it... well, that doesn't have anything to do with common sense or actual expertise. It’s not even about you personally; it seems more like a systemic failure within the whole local government setup over there. I’d really love to see what an inspector would have to say if they actually sat down to audit the work these "experts" are doing.

urbantinker8, I just realized it was back in 2010 😉 And yeah, even then, what the parents were asking for was basically based on pretty flimsy reasoning.

David Palmer5 said:I was just quoting your post; I could have quoted anyone else, it's really no different.
Come on, everyone, let's not be naive here.
Kids don't get a deferral just because their parents want them to.
That's just how some people choose to look at it.
Every single kid who gets a delay in starting school actually has a legitimate reason behind it.

I mean, I can't really wrap my head around why anyone would grant a kid a delay for no reason at all. Though, unfortunately, in America, you can pretty much make anything happen if you try hard enough. That's kind of why I was asking why everyone seemed so on board with the delay in the first place.

I guess I also got a little lost in the whole conversation and I'm having a bit of a hard time making sense of all these contradictions.

I mean, I kind of caught on to the fact that they’re pushing back the start date just because the kid was born in November, and apparently, the mom had such a rough time in school herself that she wants to shield them from those same old traumas for another year... but now you're saying they aren't actually ready? I guess I'm just wondering why you feel that way. Like, what was the actual basis for the Department of Social Services deciding on a delay, and why on earth wouldn't they include the specific reason for the postponement right there in the official paperwork?

Andrew Wright2 said:Every parent knows what's best for their kid—they're the ones actually living it.

Same here. My kid, my headache. Not the government's, not anyone else's. When things go south, like with health issues or whatever, nobody else is gonna jump in to save the day.

And look, this isn't some weird obsession or me just making excuses. It's straight from experience after dealing with our broken-down school system.

Latest disaster? Our local elementary school. My kid spent the whole year coasting with Cs, learning absolutely nothing and just being a total nuisance in class. Then, right at the end of the term, suddenly he's pulling Bs. The teachers basically handed him those grades just so they could be done with him.

So you've got these "experts"—yeah, right—who are supposed to be shaping kids' futures. They have all these resources like tutoring and specialized programs, yet my son didn't see a single bit of help or an adapted curriculum all year. But sure, under the watchful eye of the principal, the counselor, and the school psychologist, they just gift him passing grades to clear their desks.

"Experts"!!

I mean, I don't think anyone is actually arguing that those kinds of examples are anything but total garbage from an expert standpoint.
It’s just, maybe you aren't seeing that the person who signed off on delaying your kid's school placement did it just to get rid of you, too, which is honestly just as crappy as the stuff in your example. I guess when you look at it that way, it's got nothing to do with actual professional expertise.

Look, man 🤦
An assessment isn't just some three-step checklist that anyone can whip up. There are actually super detailed guidelines and specific tasks involved, and honestly, an experienced specialist can evaluate a kid even if they’re seeing them for the first time—that's literally what they get paid for. The school doctor does their part, but at the end of the day, they aren't the ones filing the request for a postponement.
I really won't even get into all the dirty laundry people throw around about every single expert who evaluates a child; I guess that's probably why they cave to these kinds of requests in the first place, since it feels like everyone thinks they know everything about everyone else. You have to love America 🤦 I mean, someone's private life is completely irrelevant as long as they're doing their job responsibly and following professional standards.
And you should probably reread what I wrote above, because you don't really have a right to get a postponement for your kid just simply because you're asking for one. You have the right to *request* it, sure, but that's pretty much where it ends.
Good luck with the NCAA and school next year, and I honestly just hope you won't end up being another example of those parents who harass teachers and professors just because their kid isn't quite there yet ☕

The real headache here isn't just the requests themselves, it's the specialists who approve them—the ones who basically just write down whatever the parent dictates instead of actually looking at the kid. I mean, you’re always going to have parents with these super fixed ideas about how things should work, and then you've got others who genuinely worry their child won't be able to keep up, which is totally valid. Both groups have every right to ask for an enrollment delay, but that’s exactly why we have professionals on staff whose entire job is to step in and say, "Yeah, this makes sense," or, "Sorry, but no, this isn't necessary or even possible."
"Having the right to request an enrollment delay for my child" doesn't exactly mean the same thing as "having the right to be granted an enrollment delay."

urbantinker8 said:I wouldn't say that's true.
if a parent keeps pushing the whole "they're too playful" or "they aren't mature enough yet" angle, you can pretty much make anything happen, I guess.
you can see that even Lady mentioned she only asked because she had the legal right to, and her acquaintance did the exact same thing, regardless of the fact that both children were developing perfectly fine and showing no signs of struggle at all.🤷

Exactly. In a perfect world, you wouldn't see an enrollment delay because of stuff like that, but our reality is a little different.
I honestly don't get how these delays even happen or who is actually asking for them, but unfortunately, they're definitely out there.🙄
It’s one thing when a parent asks for an enrollment delay because they feel the child is emotionally immature or something similar, and then experts actually back that up. But if there isn't a solid reason provided, it seems like it's just a parent's subjective feeling or whatever they want, and sadly, some people actually manage to make it happen.☕

rowdybadger65, honestly, from what you're describing, it sounds a lot like dysphagia to me, especially since you mentioned that struggle to actually start swallowing and that weird feeling of food getting stuck in your esophagus.
I mean, have you maybe thought about getting an X-ray swallow study done? That should really help pin down exactly where things are going wrong—whether it's at the oral, pharyngeal, or esophageal level—and hopefully give us some clues as to why.

rowdycanyon11, when you say "short," what do you mean by that exactly? Like, is food just slipping away from you because you can't quite control it with your tongue? It might be something with a nerve not properly stimulating the tongue muscles or something like that.

Susan James said:

I haven't seen any posts from you yet! Feel free to jump in whenever you're ready. kaže:
I honestly don’t see what the big deal is here. The groups are organized strictly by age. Back in late August of last year, we had a specific preschool group wrapping up, and if six or seven of those kids didn't transition straight into kindergarten, they’d either get slotted into another preschool group if there was room, or they'd move into the younger toddler-prep stage. It really comes down to the math. Those kids are typically around 4 or 5 years old, whereas these "repeaters" are actually 6.5—meaning they're two full years older. Because of that gap, most of them are turning seven now, while the rest of the class hasn't even hit six yet. A few of them are doing the advanced preschool curriculum, but that doesn't change the reality: about 80% of the group is still significantly younger.

My son is absolutely obsessed with one of them, though I’m starting to suspect the feeling might not be mutual! 😁

When schools decide to postpone classes, I really feel like there needs to be a clear justification for it. It’s not just about calling things off; there should also be a solid plan in place to address whatever issue caused the delay in the first place. If we're going to pause, let's make sure we have a way to fix the problem so everyone can get back on track.
Moving a kid into a younger age group feels like you're just playing musical chairs with daycare slots, especially when there’s zero communication from the parents. In my experience, if a parent doesn't give you a heads-up that school might need to be pushed back, you end up in a real bind. This parent showed up with paperwork in June—or maybe even August—well after the new enrollment period had already closed. Honestly, it just isn't right. It’s not fair to the child, and it’s definitely not fair to the other kids who were already settled into their groups for the year.

Even if the preschool claims the child is already performing at a five-year-old level and will be just fine, I’m not really on board with that approach right now. My issue isn't necessarily with how they're handling things today, but rather that these assessments should have been completed a few years ago to get ahead of this.

The fact that daycare centers are overcrowded—and that they seem to resist letting kids move up to the next level just to keep their enrollment numbers high—doesn't justify putting a child in a group that completely fails to meet their developmental needs. I remember when my little one was struggling with certain milestones, and it felt like we were being pushed toward a specific program just because it was convenient for the facility, not because it was right for him. We have to advocate for what actually works for the kid, regardless of how full the classrooms are.
We could honestly go on forever about his mom and how she kept putting off school because of her own obsessions, but let’s be real—the way the professionals are handling this is incredibly reckless. It’s just not okay.

One way we might be able to prevent these kinds of situations is by creating mixed-age groups—maybe around three to seven kids per cluster—or at least making sure the groups are split between those who are officially school-aged and those who aren't. It’s definitely something that could be worked out, especially in those larger daycare centers or preschools, provided there's enough willingness to make the change. I remember back when my nephew was in a big center in Chicago, they tried a similar approach and it really helped balance out the energy levels!

Sign me up for all of that.
I guess the whole idea behind doing this is just to spend more time working with the kid this year, you know? Like, really getting them ready for elementary school instead of just letting them run wild, so we can see in a year if they actually caught on to everything 🤦
And honestly, the situation with the local preschools is just what it is, and I know there isn't much anyone can do about it, but that doesn't mean we should just throw our hands up and say it's fine to just enroll a kid in whatever first opening pops up, even if it's a group full of four-year-olds. To me, that just doesn't make any sense at all.

nimblelynx7 said:I was just looking at it as a fallback option. It's meant to prevent someone born in January from being stuck waiting an entire extra year just because of the calendar. The goal is to have everyone born between January 1st, 2017, and January 31st, 2018, start together—essentially bumping the group size from 6 to 7.

What's the rush, then?

I honestly don't see what the rush is here, 🤔
The kid is basically ready for kindergarten by pretty much every metric you can think of—socially, physically, developmentally, all of it. I mean, what’s really the point of making them sit around for another year just to stay in the exact same spot?
I actually know a few families where delaying school ended up being totally counterproductive, if I'm being honest. There were cases where kids got held back just because their parents requested it, but once they finally did start school, things just went sideways because they were bored out of their minds and weren't being challenged enough. It gets to the point where they start making excuses to skip class, like having some random stomach ache every third day, or they end up disrupting the whole lesson because they aren't engaged and just don't know what to do with themselves.
Plus, there are those other side effects that matter just as much to the kid; most of their little friend group is heading off to elementary school, so they’re left behind, and since they already finished all the preschool activities last year, the teachers don't really have anything new to teach them (other than actual schoolwork, which brings us right back to that boredom issue I mentioned earlier).
I really don't get why we should hold back a kid who is developing perfectly normally 🤷 Wouldn't it be more natural to let the challenges grow along with their abilities? At the end of the day, I guess that's how you actually keep them motivated to keep moving forward.

nimblelynx7 said:The threshold needs to move from 1.4 down to 1.2. It makes more sense. It won't solve everything, but it'll soften the gaps.

I agree that physical size isn't the deciding factor for school—intellectual capacity is—but you can't deny that an average seven-year-old is cognitively ahead of a six-year-old.
Regarding physical strain: kids today are lugging backpacks that weigh up to 30-40% of their body weight. For context, look at OSHA regulations regarding maximum weight limits for workers. Just to clarify, no one is legally allowed to force teachers to haul 40-pound loads from home to school every day.
In my view, pushing things back by one year won't cause any real harm. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if someone graduates at 17, 18, or 19.

It's not gonna bridge the gap that much, though; you could still end up with a ten-month difference between kids. 🤷

But I guess my main point is that most kids are actually ready for school by about 6.5 years old. Sure, waiting until they're 7 or even 7.5 means they'll be a little more intellectually mature—though maybe not more mature than some other six-year-olds out there—but that extra maturity isn't necessarily the deciding factor for starting first grade, since the kid was likely ready for those classroom demands a year ago anyway.

swiftbison92 said:God help me.

A friend of mine had her kid born right around the same time as mine—we're talking February. Mine was born in 2011, hers in 2010.
And they'll be in the same grade? Total joke. Honestly, the thought of him being 6.5 years old bugs me. You're gonna see the gap between kids.
Everyone else keeps delaying enrollment for every little reason, but I guess I'm just the crazy one sending my kid to school at 6.5.

Not necessarily, though, because there's actually a reason why the cutoff dates are set the way they are.
I mean, I feel like nowadays people just tend to overthink things and push back school enrollment way more than they probably need to, mostly without a real cause.

It’s kind of a mix of both, honestly, though I guess accuracy usually carries more weight since that’s the part they can actually grade, but they’re definitely looking for independence when solving the problems too. It’s not like they’re being asked to solve super complex calculus or anything.
There are definitely exceptions, though, where kids get admitted even if their test scores weren't the absolute highest or if they were right on the edge of passing. Usually, that happens if the evaluators feel like the score wasn't really about ability, but maybe just a lack of stimulation at home or they haven't had enough exposure to certain things yet—not because the kid actually lacks the capacity or isn't mentally ready. In those cases, I feel like it’s almost a waste to make them wait a year, because an extra year of sitting around won't magically change their environment, and they’ll probably just thrive much better in a more challenging school system rather than waiting around when they’re already clearly ready for school in every other way. So, these tests aren't always such black-and-white affairs, but generally speaking, they look at how many problems were solved correctly, while that independence is basically a prerequisite for getting through the tasks in the first place. That’s how you get a sense of a kid's focus, their attention span, and how well they can follow directions.
When it comes to emotional maturity, Ryan Stewart8 pretty much hit the nail on the head. 👍If a kid walks in without making a huge scene, just chats away and cooperates with a stranger for an hour without constantly interrupting or asking where Mom or Dad is, then yeah, I'd say that's more than enough.

Harold Cook2 said:So, when do we actually hear back on that?

Well, I guess those things just kind of trickle in individually, so it really just depends on how much they're staying on top of their paperwork, I suppose.😁
The absolute latest you'd see them is right before school registration kicks off, but honestly, they usually show up within a couple of weeks or so.

Harold Cook2 said:So, who's actually pulling the strings on these delays anyway?

Basically, the school sends over a proposal to the expert committee over at City Hall, and then those folks are the ones who make the final decision, I think.