How to build self-confidence and get my life together in my late 20s
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Your post actually left me feeling pretty bummed out.
It’s not like there’s some massive tragedy happening, and I’m sure nothing is objectively "missing" from your life, but still... it feels like so much is just fundamentally off. Not in a loud, chaotic way, but more like this low-level hum of wrongness in the background, which I guess is sometimes even harder to deal with. It’s tough because who do you even vent to when everything looks fine on paper, while everyone else seems to be dealing with actual disasters?
Given how often you bring up your family and how much their opinion weighs on you, I wouldn't call you selfish at all. Honestly, if you focused just a little more on yourself and what actually works for you, none of this would even bother you. You’d just spend the holidays however you wanted, which is your right.
From what you wrote, it sounds like your family is constantly critiquing you and trying to micromanage your life. And it feels like you might be leaning into that "perpetual child" role, almost like you're dependent on their approval. Have you ever just stood up to your mom and said, "Look, maybe I stay single, maybe I don't have kids, and I'm perfectly fine with that. If I'm happy, maybe you could try being happy for me"? Have you ever pointed out that they’re being selfish by forcing these expectations on you?
I mean, so what if you aren't always the most practical person in certain situations? Maybe they should just accept you for who you are. Maybe the fact that you try so hard to please them should be enough. You know, most people in your shoes would have just packed up and moved halfway across the country by now.
It’s not like there’s some massive tragedy happening, and I’m sure nothing is objectively "missing" from your life, but still... it feels like so much is just fundamentally off. Not in a loud, chaotic way, but more like this low-level hum of wrongness in the background, which I guess is sometimes even harder to deal with. It’s tough because who do you even vent to when everything looks fine on paper, while everyone else seems to be dealing with actual disasters?
Given how often you bring up your family and how much their opinion weighs on you, I wouldn't call you selfish at all. Honestly, if you focused just a little more on yourself and what actually works for you, none of this would even bother you. You’d just spend the holidays however you wanted, which is your right.
From what you wrote, it sounds like your family is constantly critiquing you and trying to micromanage your life. And it feels like you might be leaning into that "perpetual child" role, almost like you're dependent on their approval. Have you ever just stood up to your mom and said, "Look, maybe I stay single, maybe I don't have kids, and I'm perfectly fine with that. If I'm happy, maybe you could try being happy for me"? Have you ever pointed out that they’re being selfish by forcing these expectations on you?
I mean, so what if you aren't always the most practical person in certain situations? Maybe they should just accept you for who you are. Maybe the fact that you try so hard to please them should be enough. You know, most people in your shoes would have just packed up and moved halfway across the country by now.