4 posts shown.
analogorca6 said:Trollface. Lock this thread.
It’s classic forum behavior: the second someone doesn't know how to respond to a post, they immediately label it "trolling" just to save face.
It’s easy for you guys to sit back in your comfortable armchairs calling people trolls. If you were actually dealing with aggressors yourselves, you’d be looking at these issues through a completely different lens.
In a space specifically designed for seeking advice, you’re turning around and telling the very people asking for help that they are just 🤦
If the roles were reversed and you were being called out as trolls, there would be a thousand threads popping up instantly asking "how to deal with online harassment?" I’ve been enduring this since 2016, and only now have I finally decided to reach out for guidance.
I’ve never been one for combat sports; there’s nothing about fighting that appeals to me, and I’d much rather avoid it entirely. Yet, the violence persists, and the panic is just mounting. I have no desire to engage in a fight with them—I just want this all to stop.
Adam Morris4 said:Drink some caffeine... Start hitting the gym, sign up for some martial arts classes, grab a drink now and then, switch up your whole look—maybe get a leather jacket. Watch plenty of action movies...
I know, sounds easier said than done. Believe me, I used to be just like you. I actually made those changes, but my pride would never let me back down from a fight, even when I was clearly outmatched by someone much bigger...
Here’s one more tip: find a way to get some petty payback behind their backs. Scratch their car in the middle of the night, snap off a side mirror, or maybe just set off some fireworks near their house.
That’ll give you a little boost of confidence too.
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S8 using Reddit
I'm not so sure about that revenge idea; it would just make things worse and escalate the whole situation. They'd figure out who did it.
I'm not really into martial arts, and that's the issue. As long as I can remember, I haven't liked fighting or brawling. I never learned self-defense or how to take a stance and respond to a provocation, and that has cost me dearly.
Donna White50 said:Look, we all have that survival instinct buried somewhere inside us—it’s just that you’ve spent your whole life training yourself to suppress it, no matter how much someone treats you like a punching bag... You really need to break that cycle, though. I know it feels impossible because you're stuck in these old habits and you're convinced nothing's going to change, but honestly? You just need to snap out of it. Go grab a heavy bag for your garage or something and just imagine you're actually breaking bones... find that inner rage and just let it rip. Once you finally decide to stand your ground, you’ll realize it actually feels pretty damn good—and trust me, nothing bad is gonna happen. In fact, people will actually start giving you their space once they see you aren't a pushover. Learn how to say "no" and just lose your cool when it's necessary... You can see for yourself how much it's cost you to run away from being assertive...
Ever had one of those aggressive types in your family—you know, someone who just loses it—that makes you low-key terrified of ever showing any aggression yourself?
I visualize it and plan exactly how I'll say "no" when I run into them. I even convince myself I'll actually do it. But then, when they're right in front of me, panic sets in, I freeze up, and all my plans to stand my ground just fall apart.😢
No one in my family, on either my mom's or dad's side, is aggressive. We are all naturally passive and calm; it’s probably just genetics.😢
It seems like the drive to fight and the courage aren't in my blood. I realized that back in the first grade when I refused to fight and just avoided everything out of fear.
I hope I’ve posted this in the right section; let me know if I need to move it.
Basically, I’m 19, and my main issue is a genuine fear of physical confrontation. I just can't bring myself to stand up to anyone. It's always been this way—I was a peaceful kid from the start, and that isn't the problem. The problem is that I've been a victim of continuous bullying for two and a half years now.
It all started back in late 2015/early 2016, and it hasn't stopped since. It's been a traumatic, horrible stretch of time, and everything has gone downhill because it feels like everyone is either trying to push me around or messing with my head. Since early 2016, this one guy and his group of friends have been harassing me daily. It's been two and a half years of this, and I haven't had the guts to do anything about it because I don't know how to fight, nor do I ever want to. Secondly, I lack the courage to take a stand or confront an aggressor. I've always been the type to stay quiet and just take the crap rather than speaking my mind and demanding respect. Third, whenever I face these guys or get into any kind of heated argument, I just freeze. I get so overwhelmed by fear that my mind goes blank and I start stuttering. I end up acting like a complete coward, and it eats at me. It makes me feel less masculine and undignified because I can never shut down a provocation.
Because this has been going on since 2016, the issue persists. I run into these bullies almost every day since I live in a small town, so avoiding them is impossible—especially in the summer when everyone is out and about. Every single time, I freeze up and react like a coward. I'm looking for any way to solve this.
Over these last two and a half years, I've thought about this constantly, and it's turned into serious anxiety, which has caused other issues for me.
Because of this, I've never had a girlfriend. It feels like girls are only attracted to those "tough guys," and I feel like I'm not man enough. I constantly imagine walking through town with a girl and someone starts messing with her, and I'd just stand there like a loser, unable to do anything because I can't fight and I can't stand my ground. That would be the ultimate embarrassment.
I simply don't have that fighting instinct in me, and that's the core of the problem.
I don't know how to fight, I'm afraid to stand up for myself, and I can't handle provocations. I've even been slapped a few times, which is incredibly humiliating.
I've thought about talking to my parents or reporting this to the local police, but I hesitate because I don't want to look like an even bigger wimp or a snitch.
Does anyone have any advice?
How can I develop that fighting instinct? How can I find the nerve to respond to provocations, whether they are verbal or physical?
Any advice at all would be appreciated and helpful.