7 posts shown.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately... but what if this is actually just an anxiety disorder? He mentioned feeling a bit unsettled by everything being so new—the move, starting a fresh job... I mean, how would you all handle it if you were in my shoes right now?
Carl Rivera43 said:Just let those thoughts go. Honestly, how many people actually embrace that kind of mindset 24/7? Not many, I bet.
Honestly, I can't seem to shake them right now..
darkjackal7 said:It feels like it—he’s experiencing the relationship as nothing more than a weight around his neck. You ought to respect his desire to remain unattached and just walk away. Completely.
Whether he gets his act together or stays a mess is entirely up to him; it isn't your job to fix his life. Unless he actually asks you for help with it—which, let's be honest, he hasn't done.
When we talked about his issues and I offered my support... I told him I was there for him through thick and thin. He just said, "Thanks for that, man, I feel like I can't do anything on my own."
Then, the very next day, suddenly he's not ready for a commitment if I actually want what's best for him—he says I should give him time and that he'll reach out later..
So, I stepped back... but I'm still sitting here thinking about it... and it's eating at me.
I have to say... he claims everything is moving too fast and that it’s stressing him out—which is wild. He already told his parents he met a great woman, and he even mentioned us to his daughter, so I don't get why he's suddenly acting like things are "too fast" on his end. He was already planning for us to go on vacation together next May, and now, all of a sudden, he’s terrified of commitment? He needs to clear his head; the whole thing is clearly weighing on him. It’s a bad look—he just seems empty. I mean, can someone really tell you that you're their everything one day, then claim they need space the very next?
Gerald Thompson62 said:Why didn't he mention his "issues" or the fact that he was on medication earlier—only bringing it up once you were already head over heels for him?
It’s not about what people might think—who knows what I'd even think... honestly, I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this myself.
Carl Rivera43 said:It's pure, and honestly? That's a good thing. It means he's actually doing things his own way.
What do you mean by "tough"?... The guy can't even relax in a relationship; he’s constantly acting like he's just a figment of your imagination. After the divorce, his older daughter moved in with him while the younger one stayed with his ex-wife... He actually messaged me saying he needs time before he reaches out, and apparently, even just texting is stressing him out. I'm not pushing for anything here—I've been nothing but fair to him.
Alright, here’s the situation... I’m 37, he’s 40. He’s been divorced for about three years—his ex was cheating on him with someone else. We met online two months ago, messaged for two weeks, then started dating. We were both being honest, acting like adults... everything was fine until two weeks ago. Suddenly, he just stops responding. When I finally pushed him for an answer, he told me he can't find himself in a relationship right now and simply isn't ready for anything serious because of the trauma. He admitted he's dealing with depression and anxiety, and that he's on medication. It was Tuesday when he said he'd call me on Saturday. He didn't call. He finally reached out the following Tuesday, we met up, and we had a good talk. He mentioned he's been on pills since this summer—Lexapro 10 mg—because he felt incredibly weak and listless over the summer; there was one week where he couldn't even get out of bed, just lying there, so he ended up seeing a doctor. At that point, he told me he felt better just having opened up to me, that he's glad I know what the problem is and that he appreciates my support while he heals—that a man can't do much when he's alone... all that heartfelt stuff. Then, I wake up the next morning to a text from him:😁Good morning... I was thinking about us and my own issues last night. Right now, I feel terrible and empty, and starting a new relationship is stressing me out—maybe because of my health, or maybe because I'm still fresh from my old relationship (which ended in May after lasting 7 months). I need time to pull myself together and clear my head from everything. Please understand and accept this. I'm not in a place for a new relationship right now. I'm sorry.
I asked him how "terrible and empty" he actually feels. He wrote back saying it's like he's been blocked from feeling love, totally hollowed out, and that all of this is just agonizing for him. He needs time until he feels better.
I texted him back telling him I'm there for him.
Look, I need some advice... please don't come at me with blame. If you have any way to help, let me know. What should I expect? How can I help? How do you guys see this? Because I don't get this sudden "blocked from love" thing after nearly two months of him showing affection and paying attention to me. Is this just a bluff, or is it the antidepressants, or mood swings, or what?