Posts by Alexander Murphy96

ironrider11 said:I could definitely use a little (maybe even a lot) more of what you're... .. ..

🤣

Don't sweat it. Judging by how much you write, you've got enough material for at least three lifetimes. Besides, this forum is just for creative rambling anyway—nothing more than a rough draft for some actual serious project.

ironrider11 said:Most people just don't have an imagination. Or they suppress it so hard they accidentally end up "becoming" fully imaginative. In ways and intensities they could never possibly conceive or suspect from outside examples that might actually be part of their own reality or core. A result that might actually be decent. Living an entire life without a serious intravenous dose of creativity would be... honestly, just thinking about the concept makes me want to gag.

Time passes, deadlines hit. Does a person keep clinging to tragedy, no matter how sweet or endless it seems? They get tired, eventually. If the Artist is young, it's obvious that from exhaustion, burnout, or just needing a break... nothing else is happening for a while. If they're restrained—which seems to be the case—avoiding the big displays when diving into the weird parts of themselves while testing their limits... it's just stupid and pointless to try being gentle, saying stuff like "well, maybe you won't even like it." Just try it and see. That's the only way to know. Unless you die before or during the process. Anything else is just... not it.

This tech era of swapping info, ideas, and experiences... feels like it leaves people, especially creative souls, partially crippled. Every experience is "available" to read somewhere. An instant result of gathered topics. When it comes to pop culture, or subculture (does that even exist anymore?)... it's just a loud, marketed product that isn't even real, just some digital pile of text, images, and video... a "window to the world"... it’s not surprising that people are starting to look like cloned shells, surrounded by brand ideas and brand matter.

A worn-out, wannabe retro Artist surviving the circus can watch it all with fear, or passively, dying of laughter. All you can tell a young Artist is, whisper it quietly: "take the highway, kid, not the side streets... don't be a clone..." No bad intentions, obviously. Not really any intention at all. Like everyone else, most people are just mentally shitting into the "digital" (or "real") without any clue about responsibility. Anyway, those who can laugh, will laugh; those who get paid, will cry; those who feel like cutting, will cut; those who need to vent... will vent. Those who actually live, and live well, will try. Regardless of how futile it all seems (always, forever, virtually).

Oooo, how great it is to be....

No. Absolutely not. The highway is nothing more than a digital shortcut for cheap, instant pop ideas and shallow gratification. It’s useful only if you want to rush headlong into the first tacky resort filled with neon pools, fuchsia bikinis, oiled-up bodies twerking, coconut cosmos, and designer drugs—all while beautiful, naked, unreachable mountains roll past like a cheap movie set. A winding, shadowed backroad hides far more unmapped brush and archaeological treasure within its damp, fertile soil. That ground is much richer for sparking true inspiration and finding those non-Gordian secrets of the self, far away from the suffocating petroleum dust of Formula777 that chokes out countless clones already racing down the same automated track.

Emily Rivera45 said:Maybe... you might be right. I'm bored because I'm not doing the things I actually want to do, but that's only because every attempt to start feels like a risk of disappointing myself or others, which leads back to feeling depressed and suicidal. When I think about it, this inactivity is just another defense mechanism; my mind protects itself from getting hurt by isolating me from the very activities that would fulfill me. I don't even know how to begin fixing any of this or how to break the cycle... I feel like I need someone to guide me, but no one has been able to help so far...
I wonder if some people are just too difficult to recover... though I'm sure certain people will just claim I'm looking for attention or being dramatic... ☕

Yes, exactly that. There's a huge part of me that doesn't want to die, but this small part takes over completely quite often...

And if you drop the generalizations, where did you even get all this from?

That is exactly how my head works. I'm glad to see someone can actually understand me... thank you for that!

Artist, if you really are who you claim to be, why not channel all that destructive, anxious energy? Treat it like a wild stallion with a broken, distorted libido—just trick it into focusing on paper, or whatever medium you use, by forcing out the ideas trapped in that tortured brain of yours. 😁 Countless prolific authors were driven precisely by Thanatos, pulling their visions straight from its depths. Sure, Hemingway ended his own life, but only after he lived life at full throttle, despite depression nipping at his heels the entire time and after he had given everything he had.

An idle mind is the devil's playground (I hate folk sayings, but this one fits), but instead of viewing that beast as a persecutor, try seeing it as an assistant, a guide, or a guru. It can help you unlock your subconscious and find a lush orchard hidden among the predators and locusts. 🤣

When I get hit by waves of obsessive suicidal thoughts—which are much more benign and feathered now than they used to be when they were covered in jagged scales—what helps me is just vomiting out random ideas and smashing incompatible concepts together. I craft a journal from that mess, structure it later, extract the brilliance, and then pour it into poems. Sometimes the results are pathetic and gross, but mostly they end up as surprisingly effective combinations, because a chaotic mind gives birth to fantastic things that a controlled mind would never even conceive.

How exactly does this "failure" of yours manifest? Is it through whistling and throwing rotten tomatoes at a stage? Or is it through those mocking, critical avalanches of insults from uneducated, insensitive, and narrow-minded people who lack the capacity to understand what you do—people who are, frankly, unworthy of your attention? Or is it those monstrous, haunting apparitions in your head, representing a self-destructive super-ego formed by swallowing external poison?

Here is a little something for you:

https://carljungdepthpsychologysite....w#.XDiS-817mUk

Thanks everyone for the invaluable advice 👍

It didn't even cross my mind, though it’s perfectly logical—this tiny little hub of mine provides next to no amperage.

I've decided I'll just buy a single extension cable, or perhaps a hub like the one suggested on this page:

http://www.tomshardware.co.uk/answer...t-usb-hub.html

...specifically, a "Powered USB3 Hub": "It comes with its own power supply block that plugs into the wall and draws virtually no power from the host computer's port. The power supply unit should provide at least 0.9 amps PER PORT for as many ports as the hub has. Here is one that is much more than you need - it has 10 ports (one of which is designed for charging certain devices) and can supply up to 10 amps total to its combined load, so it certainly can handle 5 drives at 0.9 amps each."

https://www.amazon.com/Upgraded-Anke...b3+powered+hub
(though it says it won't ship here, I might try getting it through someone in France).

Otherwise, I'll just plug the external drives directly into the case, as you all suggested, since that's clearly the safest way. 🙂