Posts by ruggedcyclist64

Hey everyone.
I’m not quite sure which sub this belongs in—apologies if this isn't strictly psychological territory.

Here’s the deal: I’m 23, and I’ve finally entered my first serious relationship. I’ve always been the introverted, reserved type—the kind who stays in and avoids the social scene—so meeting people just hasn't been my thing.

My relationship with my parents is... fine, I guess. They don't pry much about my dating life, but they definitely knew I was single. Honestly, I’ve always had this nagging feeling they expected me to stay solo forever, simply because of how quiet I am.

Now that there's actually someone in the picture—and I genuinely enjoy his company—I have no idea how to break the news. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but the sheer awkwardness of it is paralyzing. I’d love to spend the night at his place sometime, but I can't bring myself to do it; I don't want them worrying if they realize I'm not home in the middle of the night.

Having a boyfriend is supposed to be the most normal thing in the world, yet I can't seem to shake this discomfort about my parents knowing. If I were a teenager, maybe it wouldn't feel so heavy.

To be clear, they aren't strict—they never gave me a hard time about dating when I was younger or tried to control who I saw.

Anyway, I’m looking for advice. How do you actually tell your parents? How did you all handle that first conversation? Was it as cringey for you as it is for me?

I’m starting this thread here because, frankly, I have nowhere else to turn.

The issue is my relationship with my mother—or rather, the total lack of one. I’m in my early twenties, still in college, and living at home. My mom takes care of us; she cooks, cleans, manages the house, and so on. Both she and my dad have provided me with everything financially, and for that, I am genuinely grateful.

The problem is that my relationship with her feels more like being roommates. There’s zero intimacy—we don't actually *know* each other. She doesn't know my friends, the struggles I face, or even my love life, simply because we never talk about those things. Our conversations are strictly functional: what’s for dinner, what needs to be picked up at Target, etc. She’s never even attempted to get to know me, build a bond, or ask how my life is going. I can't say if she’s ever even hugged me or told me she loves me.

When I went through puberty, she just handed me a box of pads—no explanation, no guidance. And don't even get me started on dating or sex; I had to learn everything from school textbooks and magazines.

I’ve always been more introverted, and during my teen years, I struggled with deep insecurities and low self-esteem, which made making friends difficult. Looking back, I think that was largely because I never heard a single encouraging word from her—never felt that sense of support.

Whenever I run into trouble, I don't turn to her—not that I even feel the need to, since we aren't built that way. There was a period when I started college and fell into a bit of a depressive slump; she didn't notice. Not even once.

It hits hard when I see my friends talking to their moms—how they can tell them anything, how their mothers are their biggest support systems. It’s painful. I never talk about it with anyone because, honestly, it’s embarrassing. We don't fight—which might be why our relationship isn't "toxic" like some others—but we aren't at war either. We're just... nothing.

We had one blowout argument where I finally laid it all out for her. She burst into tears and seemed completely blindsided by what I said, but even after that, nothing changed. The dynamic remained exactly the same.

I suspect this is just how she was raised—that her own mother was distant, so this "normalcy" makes sense to her. But to me, it’s nonsensical. Who wouldn't want a close bond with their child? How can someone be satisfied with such a hollow connection?

Even now, I find it hard to form deep connections with people, and I’m increasingly convinced it stems from my relationship with her. It weighs on me. At this point, I don't even have the desire to try and bridge the gap anymore; it feels like a lost cause. Instead, I find myself wishing I had been born to a different mother—someone I could actually talk to. I wonder if I would be a different person emotionally if I’d had that closeness.

I realize she’s provided for me financially, and I know there are people dealing with physical or psychological abuse, or constant fighting, so I feel somewhat guilty bringing this up as a "major" problem. I believe she loves me in her own way, but she never shows it. To me, that emotional component matters far more than any material thing a parent can provide.

Does anyone else have this kind of relationship with their mother? Does it bother you? Is there even any point in trying to fix it if she’s fundamentally uninterested?

What is your relationship with your mother like?

Hi there.
So, I went to see a private gynecologist about some irregular cycles, and she’s insisting I get my hormone levels checked. If I try to do this privately, the bill would probably cost me an arm and a leg $667—which feels a bit excessive. I finally tracked down a doctor through Medicare who's actually taking new patients, but the earliest appointment isn't until September, which is way too long to wait. My question is: can a Medicare-covered OBGYN write a referral for those hormone tests based on what my private doctor recommended? And does the waiting game apply to getting a referral too, or can I skip the line since I just need the paperwork and not the actual exam? Thanks.