5 posts shown.
Hey everyone, haven't popped onto the forum in a minute.
But here I am. Honestly, I can't even wrap my head around how things went down. I laid it all out there—just being completely real with her, no filters.
She told me she needs a few days to let everything "settle." So, what now? Any advice? How do I look out for myself while still giving her the space she needs?
Joseph Bailey41 said:Fair enough, you’ve pretty much pinpointed the core issue here. So, what's the plan? Are you actually going to do something about it?
I'll give it a shot. Stick with the therapy, fight the good fight. I'm gonna try to drop some weight too and figure out how to actually enjoy life along the way. If things don't improve, I'll just lay it all out for her. Look, if she truly cares, she'll get it. If not... well, then she isn't the one for me.
🤣
darkcanyon10 said:Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to say. Lies about your limp little junk.
Just tell her. Tell her you've become mentally hooked on Viagra. Tell her things haven't been working right for two months and you were too embarrassed to admit it sooner. Make sure she knows it’s not her fault—it’s just your own anxiety about not being able to perform.
That's just how X is going to be
You guys are pretty much 90 percent right. That other 10 percent? It wasn't even about cheating. I was already dealing with stuff before any of that happened. This whole thing started a month ago, though everything was fine before that. As for the cheating thing, we actually handled that while we were broken up for those 15 days. Honestly, it's just a massive lack of confidence. That's the bottom line. My goal is to please everyone—her included—and that's where I'm tripping up. Instead of actually enjoying the sex, I'm just obsessing over her satisfaction. Now this fear has kicked in. I'm trying to fight through it, but it's not about her, it's about me. Thanks for the advice.
So what’s the move here? Do I just come clean now, or do I play it cool and wait a little longer?
I’m seriously grinding, fighting fires on every single front, but honestly... I’m terrified.
If I’d just owned up to the problem right out of the gate, things would be fine. But now? After a whole year of dragging this out?
I AM SCARED AS HELL
Hey guys
Look, I feel pretty crappy even bringing this up here. I’m hoping you guys can be cool about it and maybe toss some actual advice my way.
So, here’s the deal. I’ve been seeing this girl for about a year now. Right at the start of our relationship, I caught her cheating. I ended up forgiving her, and honestly, since then, things have been incredible—almost like that whole mess was the catalyst for us actually feeling something real. That part isn't really what I'm questioning! (I mean, the feelings are mutual).
The real issue is this: ever since that happened, my confidence just tanked. During sex, I started having issues where my "little guy" wouldn't get going, and it absolutely crushed me. To cope, I decided to take some Viagra just to get through it once in a while (low doses).
The problem is, I’ve become way too dependent on it. Now, I feel like I can't do it without it.
I went to see some doctors, and they told me physically I'm fine—just need to drop a few pounds. Then I saw a sex therapist, and after several sessions, we've pinpointed it as a psychological hurdle. We're still intimate, but I just pop a pill whenever I know it's happening. Basically, because of the anxiety, I just don't get turned on anymore without help. I used to be ready to go 24/7.
My therapist is pushing me to just come clean to my girlfriend. But man, I am terrified. Everything is going so well between us that we're actually talking about marriage. We haven't had any issues for months. I just know that relying on Viagra forever isn't exactly a long-term health plan.
How do I even bring this up? I'm scared she'll walk away for a few reasons.
1) I've been lying to her for a year, so she might think I don't trust her.
2) She might think I'm not attracted to her anymore.
And whatever.
Can anyone give me some pointers? How should I tell her, or should I even bother? Has anyone else dealt with this?
P.S. If I'm posting in the wrong spot, let me know where I should be asking.