Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
When I share ideas, it’s not about getting her blessing. It’s about reaching an informal agreement on a workflow I think would be faster and easier—basically just being more efficient without dragging upper management into everything. Our department doesn't have a direct supervisor; the CEO basically oversees all departments at once.
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
I’m not looking for a best friend. I’m just looking for a tolerable work environment. I don't want to feel this knot in my stomach every morning wondering if she’s going to snap at me or run to the boss over some random nonsense.
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
Honestly, I don't care about the gossip. But who she is *does* matter to me when she uses me as a punching bag for her frustrations. We don't need to be buddies, but I shouldn't have to be her emotional dumping ground.😉
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
Good call. 🙂
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
The gossip and the interruptions aren't why I'd report her. It's the screaming. She yells so loud you can hear it through closed doors in the next rooms over. People from those offices used to wander over just to see what the hell was happening. Even when people are actually stuck in the room with her, they look uncomfortable, and afterward, some of them pull me aside to say she's just not right. 🙂 That's why I'm posting here. Trying to handle this atmosphere for 8 hours a day is getting to me. I can already feel my composure slipping.
And word is, I'm doing most of the department's heavy lifting anyway.
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
Anthony Stewart5 said:First of all, you should be bringing your ideas directly to your supervisors rather than wasting them on that old lady; why on earth are you seeking her validation?
Secondly, remember that you went there to build a career, not to hunt for a social circle. No matter how draining the environment feels, she isn't under any obligation to be your friend.
Thirdly, you must stop involving yourself in her gossip and idle chatter. It simply isn't your business. An office isn't some neighborhood coffee shop where everyone gathers to bond over drama. Whatever her character may be, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Bring a pair of noise-canceling headphones to the office, put on some music, and just focus on your tasks.
What good would it do to go to management and say, "You know, she’s being difficult, interrupting people, and spreading rumors"?
Finally, if this woman isn't your direct manager, why are you allowing her to interrogate you about whether certain tasks are completed? For what purpose?
I understand you might feel a sense of deference because of her age, but you really need to let that go. Respect is earned through actions; it isn't something granted automatically just because someone has been around longer. When she tries to belittle you like that again, that is your moment to firmly state, "That doesn't concern you," or "You can handle that yourself."
Stop grabbing coffee with her, stop asking for her permission, and stop waiting for some imaginary truce to happen.
Consider this my official advice.
Focus on the job you are actually being paid to do, minimize your interactions with her, and stay far away from the petty office politics.
That is how you should frame your mindset.
If you find that you cannot mentally adjust to this dynamic, then perhaps it is time to start looking for a different job.
👍
Even during those quiet periods, we barely speak. I just drink my coffee while I work.