Posts by Gary Morris2

I get it now. Yeah, staying optimistic while keeping some distance definitely helps, though I guess you still gotta stay grounded in reality. My shift next week is looking pretty brutal, to say the least. I’m on this late rotation where people show up already pissed off from their jobs, and then I basically have to "spice up" their night by giving them answers to questions they clearly don't want to hear. It helps knowing that if things get too crazy, I can just shut everything down, tell my manager I'm heading home because I'm not feeling it, and call it a day.

Thanks for all the input, everyone. I think I'll stop posting here because honestly, even just typing about this stuff is draining me out. Anyway—take care of yourselves.👋

Look, Gary Morris2, I honestly have no clue what you're even trying to get at here 🤔

So, I just knocked out another shift today. It was actually a bit easier than usual because I was kind of wired—just trying to power through as many calls as possible in record time so I could stay ahead of the curve. During my break, I actually found myself wondering why anyone would ever even think about quitting a job this solid. I mean, given my medical history, I’m probably not exactly cutting it for half the jobs out there anyway. And as for jumping straight from a call center into a comfortable retirement? Yeah, I haven't heard of that happening once 🤷

I guess I just need to loosen up my grip on things, stop being such a perfectionist, and quit feeling like I have to micromanage every single detail. Maybe I should just learn how to coast a little more from one task to the next. I realize my life looks pretty different because of these diagnoses, but it's not necessarily a bad thing :-)

I'm currently cranking through 6 pills a day as my regular maintenance, plus I’ve had to bump that one pill I usually split in half up to a full dose, along with some extra stuff for calming down which used to be just an occasional thing. Honestly, I've become incredibly snappy—like, a total jerk to people who haven't done a single thing to deserve it. And look, I'm actually a decent person. It's not like I'm made of sugar, but when my family starts coming at me with shit like, "Be grateful you even have a job" or "In one ear and out the other," I just feel like breaking down and crying from pure frustration. I really am trying. I'm working on myself. It's just that by the time I finish my shift, I've poured every ounce of energy and strength into this job, so once I'm off the clock, all I want to do is collapse into my bed. I can feel the swings happening. Just like how I know I was in full hypomania for the last three weeks, only now I'm being quiet and withdrawn—polite, sure, but not that total clown I was a few days ago. And don't even get me started on people getting on my nerves with that whole, "Come on, team! Let's see those big, bright smiles!" I can't smile right now if I want to. I'll do kako and koliko I possibly can. I can't give any more than that, because if I do, there won't be anything left of me. Nothing. Zero. Hope. Niente.

Maria Price3 said:Back when I was doing similar survey work, I’d spend my time flipping through Cosmo or Story—with a headset perched on my shoulder, of course—and honestly, thank God there was a pile of those magazines nearby; it made the shift much more bearable. I actually walked away from that one session thinking the guy was a total porn addict—he kept going out of his way to insist he had absolutely zero vices 🤣, yet somehow ended up with a theology degree and a job as an executive at a big marketing agency in Chicago... I won't even go there.
If you don't have any magazines at your workstation, just browse some mindless gossip sites; it makes the clock move faster and keeps you from getting too worked up 😵
If you happen to be working in "customer support," just know that nobody—and I mean absolutely nobody—actually believes anyone is going to "help" them unless they figure it out themselves, so you can pretty much just ignore the whole thing

That sounds like a killer suggestion if we weren't getting slammed with calls back-to-back. We barely get 15 seconds between calls to log anything into our software before the next one hits the line. I'm heading back into the grind now with a massive pit in my stomach. My folks at home don't really get what this job is actually like; they're just thrilled I found something and that I'm bringing home a paycheck. Like, how I actually earn that money is a whole other story... Maybe I'm asking for too much, I guess, but I can't shake the feeling that this whole situation is heading south :-(

First off, I’m gonna try to handle this at my own pace, kind of like what someone else mentioned earlier. If things start getting heated and the situation escalates, I'll just picture whoever is on the other end of the line wearing some hideous neon green Grinch suit and screaming 😬

I’ll stick it out through December, but honestly, I’ve already started looking for the exit. I’m planning to sit down with the social worker at the hospital and just take it one day at a time. One hour at a time, really. At the end of the day, I just need to make sure I’m okay.

I mean, I truly believe there’s plenty of work out there that I can actually do, without having to spend eight hours straight being insulted.

👋

Man, thanks a ton for all the input and the different takes you guys dropped here. It actually helped me see things from a whole different angle, I guess 👍

Hey everyone! 👋

I figured I’d share my "story" here because I honestly want to hear what you guys think. I already know what my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and even my frenemies have to say about all this, but I’m looking for some more objective perspectives from people out there.

So, I’m 30 and I’m from Washington, D.C. For the last two years, I’ve been with my boyfriend, who’s just a year older than me. I actually spent a huge chunk of my life living abroad. I spent way too long studying law before eventually dropping out when I got sick.

Back in 2014, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I’ve been in treatment for it since March 2014. I’ve ended up hospitalized ten times—sometimes for self-harm, sometimes just to get my meds adjusted—and I’ve done things like shoplifting, shaving my head, DIY piercing, and I even had to undergo eight rounds of ECT. Right now, I’m on a medication regimen that actually seems to be working. Like, for the first time in forever, I actually feel like a "normal" person.

Personality-wise, I’m pretty open and upbeat. I love reading and have a million different interests. I tend to lean toward hypomania—you know, that excess energy, being a bit theatrical, cleaning things that are already clean, or doing stuff with OCD tendencies—so when I crash back down to baseline, I register it as depression, even though I don't really lean toward the depressive side. My mom and brother do, though.

For the past year or so, my main struggle has revolved around work. Earlier this year, I worked at this call center, but I only lasted three months before I just totally snapped. It was one of those situations where they expected more, faster, harder... you know how it goes. I tried as hard as I could, mainly because I’m someone who is obsessively focused on what other people think of me. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. 🤷

I spent about nine years studying law without ever getting anywhere. Eventually, I walked away from it and pivoted to an Open University.

After that, I grabbed a summer job at a drugstore. I worked there through the summer doing everything from the register to stocking shelves and warehouse work. During the last month, I started making these little mistakes with the till. Most of the time I was in a hypomanic state—super talkative and high energy—and I’d mess up the cash counts, which meant I ended up paying the difference out of my own pocket at the end of my shifts.

Anyway, my meds were changed, and I was basically walking around the register like a total zombie, so I was essentially forced to quit because I just couldn't function. My coworkers started avoiding me, and customers would give me these worried looks like, "Is she gonna pass out on the floor or 🤔?"

Less than two weeks later, I landed my current job. Same old story, though—another call center. Customer support. The environment is actually great, the crew is awesome, and the first paycheck was more than enough, especially since everyone else there is going through similar stuff. But today, for the second time, I didn't show up for work because the second I stepped out the door, my heart started racing so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest.

I spend my day taking call after call, I don't get a single word of peace during my 30-minute break, and I mostly survive on junk food from the vending machines. About 99% of my job is just repeating, "I apologize on behalf of [someone halfway across the world who screwed something up]," while the people on the phone are swearing, yelling, screaming, or threatening me. And then I just sit there like a parrot saying, "I apologize..." and they just snap back with, "Like hell you ________." You get the idea. One call like that? Fine. But after eight hours of it, I feel like my ears are literally going to bleed. 😲

The thing is, I'm someone who genuinely loves to work. The idea of just sitting at home, popping pills and watching soap operas doesn't appeal to me at all. Being able to work and having that sense of financial independence is huge for my mental health. Plus, things are great with my boyfriend; we're planning on moving in together next year.

So yeah, this year I finished my retraining and cycled through three different jobs.

Every time I've had a major breakup or shift in my life, it starts with these morning or evening crying spells. I started taking sedatives that used to be just for emergencies, but now they're a regular part of my routine, along with panic attacks and all that.

I mean, I really do want to work. And look, I get it—working in a call center where you can't even see the person on the other end means you shouldn't take things personally, but spending eight hours a day basically apologizing for stuff that isn't even my fault, only to sit there and listen to people spewing absolute filth... man, I can barely stomach it. It’s just not for me.

Everyone around me keeps telling me I need to toughen up. And I know, I get it, I really do. I'm trying. But apparently, my subconscious isn't having any of it, because my heart is practically jumping out of my chest every single time.

What do you guys think about all this? 🍿

If nothing else, thanks for listening, guys! 🙂