Morgan Peterson6 said:He’s in such a dark place—some days he even messages me saying he just wants to be erased, to simply cease existing. He’s craving nonexistence. He’s been on this deep journey of awakening for years now, soaking up all kinds of literature and life experiences... and now? He just can't find any meaning in anything. He says he hasn't found a single thing that gives him hope that we’re here for any reason other than being food.
He honestly views this whole world as a flawed piece of work—like something went wrong during the Creation. He thinks we're just programmed, living in some kind of matrix where entities stomp all over us like we're characters in a video game with zero free will. He doesn't find any joy in life; he's just deeply, profoundly unhappy. He can't stand the injustice and the sheer pain of this dimension. I can feel his sadness... and it makes me so sad just being around it. He’s one of those truly good, gentle souls... how am I even supposed to help him?
I’ve been feeling pretty much the same way for about twenty years now. It’s not that I’m suicidal, per se, but there’s this recurring wish when I lay down at night that I just wouldn't wake up. Honestly, I just don't see the point in putting in any effort when you're surrounded by such a selfish environment that refuses to give you any credit, especially since time eventually wipes everything away anyway. Whatever you manage to achieve today, you’re right back at square one tomorrow—just maintaining these superficial work connections, shallow family ties, and hollow romantic relationships. We live in a society that is so comfortable, so self-absorbed, and so incredibly satiated that human connection has dwindled down to nothing more than a tool for feeding one's own ego. A lot of people don't even need other humans anymore; they just go out and get some primitive four-legged "friends" instead. It feels like living in this twisted, narcissistic, sociopathic culture where everyone is just looking out for their own skin, treating everyone else as mere instruments for their own advancement or survival. I was raised to be helpful, to be a team player, and I’ve always strived to be that person, but over time it’s become painfully clear to me that "teamwork" is an abstract concept to the vast majority of people. I struggle to find purpose in working hard when that effort yields absolutely nothing unless I am directly stroking someone's ego. I can't bring myself to live just for myself, yet I can't live for others either because people are, frankly, repulsive and can't see past the tip of their own noses. I wish I could just be apathetic toward everything, but I wasn't wired to ignore all the bullshit happening around me; I was wired to act so there would be less of it... even though, as time goes on, there seems to be more and more. It’s as if my entire reality is upside down. I can't control the world, and I certainly can't rewire the synapses in my long-adult, plastic brain. Even though on paper I have everything—family, a social circle, education, a career, money, looks, intelligence—I feel like I have nothing at all. I just feel completely empty and useless.