Posts by Henry Ortiz3

Alexander Adams94 said:It’s because so many people struggle with self-confidence. The easiest way to try—and fail—to act like a big shot is to constantly bring up sex. To me, those who insist on it are just overcompensating for their own insecurities; they aren't actually intimidating. I find a woman who seems reserved at first glance much more dangerous—someone who can completely take you apart when you're alone together.

Hmm, I suppose there’s a bit of everything here. It feels like we might be describing different scenarios. There is a massive difference between some guy at a dive bar trying to hit on you with incredibly crude, low-brow pick-up lines—which is clearly a confidence issue—and just having a conversation where you sprinkle in a little bit of cheeky, subtle humor. To me, that kind of wit is more of a conversational seasoning; even if the other person doesn't catch the joke, you're still having a good time.

The emphasis is clearly on that subtlety,😁 though I highly question whether that woman who "dismantles" you is being subtle at all...

Christian White10 said:I swear like a sailor, but honestly, it’s purely for my own health... I truly believe that if I didn't have this outlet—aside from maybe some old-school leech therapy or bloodletting—my blood pressure would spike to a thousand during a crisis, and I'd end up having a stroke before I even get the chance to enjoy being this young and beautiful.

It isn't like I'm swearing all the time, though; I can definitely keep it under control when I need to. It's certainly not because I'm uneducated, illiterate, or just too lazy to find better words... it's simply that letting it out brings me such a sense of joy, providing a sort of verbal catharsis that helps me blow off a little steam here and there. After all, isn't a well-placed curse word much better than losing my cool entirely?

ovo 😁

Personally, I have my own healthy ways of blowing off steam. Besides, let’s be clear: I’m far from uneducated; if anything, my profession demands a certain level of articulateness that most people simply can't muster.
One really ought to maintain some semblance of boundaries in all things, and I suppose that extends even to this particular subject. I make a conscious effort to stick to milder language and refrain from invoking the Almighty in my speech, especially when I realize I am conversing with someone who actually holds those convictions.

I don't come anywhere close to the amount of profanity I let fly when I'm home, and that's without even trying to police myself. Personally, I don't see anything offensive about this particular "habit," nor does it bother me when others indulge in it; in fact, I have a genuine appreciation for crude humor. From what I've observed, most people inevitably circle back to sexual innuendo—it's as if sex is woven into the very fabric of every conversation. For some reason, it remains an endlessly fascinating subject for everyone. 😁

Joshua Long62 said:I’ve been looking around, but I can't find a thread quite like this, so feel free to move this if I missed it. I’m in a relationship with someone who basically has all the worst traits imaginable: he drinks too much and uses drugs pretty frequently. He grew up in a really messy household with domestic violence and an alcoholic father... It shows. He’s constantly on edge, irritable, and I’ve caught him in lies so many times. He cheated on me, he rarely keeps his word unless there’s something in it for him, and it's just constant. At first, though, everything felt perfect. He was calm, sensitive, and actually made an effort to understand me. Everything seemed fine. We spent almost every waking moment together from day one, and honestly, we started experimenting with stuff together early on and were having fun, getting along well... until the cheating happened. He begged for another chance, and I gave it to him, but naturally, I became paranoid. I’d snap at him whenever he even touched his phone. Then, about a month ago, he started getting drunk almost every single day. He turned aggressive—insulting me, swearing at me, just being the absolute worst. It’s become this endless cycle where he gets aggressive, I end up in tears, and then he just laughs at me for crying. He claims I'm driving him crazy by not trusting him, acting like my suspicion is totally baseless. Eventually, it escalated to him hitting me. I’ve had bruises on my arms and legs more often than I’d like to admit. But despite the daily insults and the physical abuse, I just can't seem to leave him. That’s the real issue. I keep clinging to those good moments, even though they're getting rare, and I keep thinking about how he was at the start. I keep hoping he’ll stop behaving this way, but it feels like no matter what I do, he'll always find something to complain about. And I've heard stories that he was just like this with his exes, too... I don't know how to fix this part of myself—this urge to try and "repair" someone instead of refusing to be humiliated. I feel like I can endure anything; I've never actually walked away from anyone, no matter how they treated me. I know that's not healthy, but I can't help it. I just really want to finally be able to end a relationship like this.

There really isn't anything beautiful left in that situation. The version of him you are holding onto at the beginning never actually existed; this is the reality of who he is. Breaking free from such a destructive dynamic is notoriously difficult, but the solution is actually quite straightforward, even if it is one of the hardest things to execute: you decide to leave him, and you stick to it. No more communication. No more false hope. You simply accept the reality of how terrible he is and acknowledge the depth of the hurt he has caused you. There is no future where you "fix" him. Love yourself and respect yourself; that is the priority. Once you do that, finding someone who will love you the right way becomes much easier.

Good luck. :*