I have been reading > by John Modrow, and he provides a rather profound description of what Šiza actually entails. Given that he lived through his own diagnosis and achieved full recovery, his perspective carries weight; he suggests that perhaps as many as 70% of people can successfully recover. I must admit, my jaw nearly hit the floor when I read his thesis that Šiza is essentially triggered by one's environment and the subsequent breakdown of psychological defense mechanisms. He argues that elevated levels of neurochemicals—specifically dopamine, norepinephrine, and adrenaline—are actually physiological responses to the panic we feel when we realize we cannot meet our own expectations, or those imposed upon us by our parents and society. This chemical surge then leads to psychosis, though he posits that psychosis itself is merely a defensive reaction to the overwhelming external pressures that trigger this internal state of panic. In this view, Šiza functions somewhat like a form of self-hypnosis, a way for us to construct a defense against the world. If anyone is interested, I could potentially point you toward where to find this book. He concludes by suggesting that those living with Šiza are, in fact, some of the "most human" individuals one could encounter.
You can't even discipline children with a firm hand anymore; you have to sit them down and "explain" why certain behaviors are unacceptable. They start getting hooked on tablets, computers, and smartphones by the age of one, consuming all sorts of mindless cartoons that essentially rot their brains. Then they throw tantrums and scream because they want everything immediately. Sure, kids are just wonderful, aren't they? And then they grow up, struggle to find decent employment, and blame you for bringing them into such a broken world—only to end up moving overseas to work themselves into the ground for pennies. Honestly, I think I’d rather just light up a cigarette and stare at the ceiling than deal with the burden of raising a child. I don't even smoke, but I'm just saying 🙂
You aren't the only one who feels this way about not wanting children. I don't want them either, personally. I suppose the world is just fundamentally broken, so why bring kids into such a chaotic mess where they’ll mostly endure misery? They might experience a few fleeting good moments, but those will likely be forgotten or relegated to mere dreams, while most of their lives are spent watching everything crumble around them without any sense of understanding. Not to mention the constant vigilance required; the world is crawling with idiots, and some complete moron could easily ruin a child's entire existence. It honestly worries me how society views people who choose to live solo—without a spouse or kids—as if there's this idiotic premise that choosing a life free of obligations makes you some kind of social freak. There seems to be this unspoken rule that someone without a family is somehow less valuable. If everyone simply followed the crowd and had children, we wouldn't be any different from rats. In fact, that's exactly what the world is becoming: a rat race, because the planet is getting too crowded and resources are becoming prohibitively expensive. I suspect that anyone bringing children into the world right now isn't entirely thinking clearly. If they have every aspect of their lives perfectly in order, then I guess that's a blessing to them, but those who have kids just because they think it's "what you do," without being stable or rational, are actually doing more harm than good. Besides, those of you judging her for not wanting kids are probably the idiots in question. As for me, I certainly wouldn't have a child—thank you very much, but absolutely not. No chance at all.
Dana Vaughn said:So, it's me again. I wanted to follow up on how things have been going lately... just checking back in regarding my current state. Ever since I was discharged from the hospital and started this new medication regimen, everything has felt... heavy. There’s this profound lack of drive, no spark, no energy—honestly, I just feel a complete absence of will to live. I’m not the social, outgoing person I used to be. I find myself praying to God that I don't stumble into a job right now, because the thought of having any motivation or even the desire to work feels impossible. Everything just feels wrong. It actually feels like my brain has been damaged; I struggle to process things, and trying to read professional literature is out of the question. I can't make sense of anything I read, and my memory... well, it's gone. It’s a total disaster. I was doing some reading about the medication I've been prescribed—Solian—and was wondering if anyone here knows much about it. Apparently, it affects serotonin and dopamine levels. Is it possible that it's just numbing those hormones, which would explain why I feel so hollowed out? Thanks in advance
Antipsychotics primarily target dopamine blockade, though they also partially affect serotonin and various other neurotransmitters. Since dopamine and serotonin are the neurochemicals responsible for experiencing pleasure in life, that is likely why you are feeling this way. Essentially, the nerves that would normally trigger excitement or enjoyment are being blocked.
Matthew Clark3 said:This might help... Since you've actually used this stuff, could you recommend a specific brand for, say, Gotu Kola? There are so many sketchy companies out there, and I don't want to waste money testing which ones are legit...
I suppose the specific brand matters less than the substance itself; if you get an extract at a 10% concentration, it tends to work quite effectively. However, I suspect that something like Coca-Cola isn't necessarily geared toward memory enhancement, but rather toward inducing a sort of calm mental state or perhaps increasing overall productivity... almost like an anti-stress measure to boost your own capabilities. Using a few drops of Celastrus paniculatus oil, I find that memory performance improves drastically. 😉
Perhaps you might consider experimenting with certain substances designed to enhance memory and cognitive focus, such as GoT, Bacopa monnieri, or Celastrus paniculatus... There are certainly other options available if you are interested, so please feel free to ask. I suppose it is important to note that these typically require consistent administration over a period of time before one notices any significant effects, but in my own experience, they are quite effective when used properly.
I suppose I am also of the opinion that it might be prudent to maintain this level of stability for a bit longer... Consequently, I have decided against discontinuing my treatment... Since I don't particularly feel the effects of the therapy anyway, I suppose it makes little difference to me 🙂
I have been two years without any bouts of psychosis now... I am currently on 5mg of olanzapine, though I barely even feel the effects of the medication itself... Perhaps it calms me down slightly in the evening, which I suppose is fine. I have managed to find a job, I am in a relationship, I live on my own, and I handle all my responsibilities; I have also started taking certain supplements that seem to assist me by providing great energy, focus, and a sense of rejuvenation, or so it feels to me. I am not experiencing depression or any cognitive issues—essentially, there are no positive or negative symptoms. A great deal can change in the span of two years, and I believe the worst thing one can do is fail to try or lose faith that things can actually improve. More devastating than anything else is the treatment process for that crisis state known as psychosis. Even the psychosis itself isn't the most terrifying part; rather, it is the way people treat those who are in such a state. I hope I won't experience psychosis again, as my doctor wants to taper me off my medication, but I don't feel quite ready for that step yet. Furthermore, I suspect that the entire "mental illness" sector is somewhat exaggerated; I still maintain the view that mental illnesses aren't true diseases, but rather specific mechanisms for coping with life itself.
Any struggle, regardless of its nature, demands a significant expenditure of energy. To engage in any conflict effectively, one requires both physical stamina and the tactical intelligence necessary to secure victory. This is because a struggle is fundamentally a state of being—of the mind, the body, and the soul. One enters such a confrontation with a singular, uncompromising objective: to prevail. Yet, to achieve that victory, you must possess a profound understanding of your adversary. Against what, exactly, are you fighting? Against whom? It seems to me that most people don't even realize what their true opposition actually is. It is a misfortune to be someone who lacks the capacity to endure hardship. I suppose most people are simply inherently flawed. Are you perhaps fighting for yourself? In hopes of achieving some sort of fairytale existence? You should remember that fairytales are meant for small children. Many claim they would fight, yet I suspect no one is truly willing to face death.
People seem driven by this relentless desire to be wealthy, attractive, and charismatic. It’s as if anyone who fails to meet those specific standards is automatically deemed inferior. These are societal expectations that have existed for ages, though they seem to resonate with much more intensity in today's world. I suppose I won't even get started on the insatiable thirst for power, or how modern science continues to ravage the natural world. Perhaps the most difficult task one can undertake is the pursuit of self-knowledge, whereas offering unsolicited advice to others remains an incredibly easy pastime. This implies that cultivating a true sense of self is an arduous journey, primarily because most people lack such a core identity—they haven't actually discovered who they are. One's identity is often experienced through the lens of external perception, which aligns with what Aaron Allen5 was saying—people are far more concerned with their public image than with their internal reality.
At this moment, no medication effectively targets glutamine, and there is an increasing consensus that glutamine activity is precisely what drives schizophrenia symptoms. The Olanzapine I am currently prescribed acts on dopamine, serotonin, adrenergic, histamine, and muscarinic receptors. I suppose one could argue that no schizophrenia medication can be truly beneficial for the brain or the body over the long term. In the short term, perhaps they serve a purpose by halting a psychotic episode, but long-term usage alters the very structure of the brain. Research suggests that drugs like Olanzapine or Haloperidol can reduce brain volume by as much as 11%. This isn't discussed openly because people tend to assume these medications are some kind of miracle cure, but they simply aren't. I wonder if anyone here has heard of Open Dialogue, a model used in parts of Europe that works with psychotic individuals without relying on medication; it reportedly returns people to reality with an 85% success rate, which is arguably more effective than any pharmaceutical intervention. I realize it might be difficult to admit that these drugs are problematic, but I KNOW they are. We are dealing with a multi-billion dollar industry. People need to understand the reality of their condition, and they need teams like Open Dialogue to guide them back to stability. It is entirely possible and quite effective. It honestly pains me to see people believe that this current way of "treating" those in extreme states is somehow good. It isn't, and it's nowhere near being helpful. In my view, all schizophrenia medications are garbage. However, I am forced to take this garbage because it is mandated by the system. One day, I will step away from all of it and find my strength, because I firmly believe that full recovery is possible.
briskcyclist40, this whole situation is absolutely devastating. Are you telling me all of this happened just because his father bit his hand? I mean, what kind of choice did he actually have if he didn't want to sign those papers? He’s being given 300 mg of Haldol?! My God, I honestly can't wrap my head around that. If I were forced to take that much, I think I'd rather just end it all; I am one hundred percent certain of that. It seems entirely plausible that he has lost his mind due to the sheer combination of all those medications and treatments. Treatment? To me, that doesn't sound like treatment at all; it sounds more like creating a living hell on Earth and pure torment. That isn't medicine. Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel a genuine sense of dread. If you truly want what is best for your son, perhaps you should consider moving to a country that treats people as if they are dignified human beings. America certainly has its own set of flaws, but ultimately, it is a decent country.
Larry Lewis said:I honestly don't think she views him as some sort of broken patient—after all, he’s her father. And let's be clear: a hospital isn't some hellscape for people who actually have a shred of common sense left in them. I’ve been hospitalized three separate times myself, and frankly, it was never an unbearable ordeal. You just find someone you actually click with, someone to hang out with, and suddenly the time passes much faster and feels a lot more tolerable. I even know a couple who ended up getting married after meeting in a psychiatric ward.
Her dad has certainly lived through more than we younger folks have, but that doesn't mean he should be allowed to just completely unravel. She ought to approach him as a daughter who loves him—that kind of connection might be exactly what helps pull him back toward some semblance of normalcy.
And look, they are absolutely going to admit him if he refuses his medication and just sits there wasting away in his room. It's a well-known fact that psychosis causes far more physical damage to the brain than any medication ever could. Not even kidding—my own psychiatrist, who is a top-tier professional and has even presented at conferences, told me that many antipsychotics actually work by helping to forge new neural connections in the brain.
I suppose it is true that new connections are formed, so I won't argue with that. However, it might be worth looking over this http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v3.../1300710a.html if one reads closely enough, you eventually reach the section stating that antipsychotics can reduce overall brain mass by about 8-11%. It is certainly encouraging news. I mean, when your brain shrinks by a tenth, I assume that is just wonderful for you. Honestly, I find it difficult to believe that some people genuinely think antipsychotics are beneficial for the brain. If that is truly your perspective, then I am somewhat at a loss for words. Hello? You are essentially blocking dopamine and serotonin, which are practically the neurotransmitters responsible for love and feeling good. Even though I take antipsychotics myself, I am fully aware that they are not good for the brain in any capacity. I can feel it, and I know my own mind better than most. But, unfortunately, I don't have an alternative within this broken system.
There is a certain natural antipsychotic that none of us can obtain (at least not currently), nor will Big Pharma ever release for sale, nor can we legally extract it ourselves. It is called cannabidiol (CBD), and it is found in—you guessed it—hemp. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3316151/
Nature provides a remedy for everything, I think, but the interests of pharmaceutical corporations lie in turning a profit and keeping you tethered to medication, rather than curing you, because a cured patient is no longer a source of revenue.
Still, I suppose it is fine to seek comfort where you can when there are no other options left... hope is perhaps all that remains.
Rebecca Kim5 said:Sorry for just dropping in out of nowhere, but I’ve been scrolling through your posts and really need some advice. My dad has been dealing with schizophrenia for 25 years now. Lately, his diagnosis has been F20.5, but he flat-out refuses to take any meds. Everything goes smoothly while he’s at the hospital—he usually stays for about two months—and then he’ll be home on his therapy for a few months. But after a while, he just stops everything. He shuts down completely. He barely speaks, maybe two or three sentences max, just sits there smoking, and won't leave the house. He won't see a psychiatrist. Since he isn't violent, when we call the hospital, they tell us we have to bring him in ourselves, but he won't go. He won't talk to anyone; he just stays locked in his room, not even answering basic questions. I’ve read some of you saying you're aware of your own condition, so I don't get why he doesn't want to get better? Is he actually more comfortable this way, lost in his own world? How can I help him? Has anyone here dealt with something like this, and what should I do to snap things back into place? This has been going on for two years now with zero progress. He refuses treatment, and his mental state has just totally tanked :((:( please, I need some advice
I wonder if you have considered altering your fundamental approach. Perhaps there is value in showing a deeper interest in exactly what your father is experiencing internally? It might be worth asking him about his thought processes or the specific emotions he is grappling with. You could ask him to identify what he perceives as the primary conflict in his life or the world around him. Have you tried viewing him not through a clinical lens, but rather as a human being whose consciousness is operating on a plane so different from yours that it is nearly impossible to comprehend? It may sound somewhat strange, but I suspect that having someone to share bizarre, cosmic thoughts with might actually help untangle the knots in one's psyche. It is possible that your father has been deeply traumatized by his various hospitalizations, leading to a fear that communicating with you will only result in being sent back to a place he perceives as hell. For me, the hospital feels like pure purgatory rather than a place for healing the soul. I suppose wanting what is "best" for someone can sometimes be a double-edged sword.
Humans have always stepped over one another to get ahead. It’s an ancient pattern, really. These power struggles have been baked into our collective consciousness since the beginning of time. In tribal societies, the strongest individual was the one who secured a mate; nature designed us this way. It seems to be an inherent part of the human condition—this drive to trample others and prioritize our own interests above all else. While these conflicts used to manifest as physical confrontations, today they have shifted into psychological warfare. You can spend your entire life building something up, but that doesn't mean you're destined to remain trapped in that cycle forever. I suppose you have to forge new neural pathways. You essentially have to hack your own psyche. Our mind functions much like software, and I believe you can learn to reprogram it to work in your favor, though perhaps only through constant experimentation. I realize that after everything you've endured, it might feel as though you've lost all agency over your own brain, but I suspect the reality is quite different. You actually do have control. For instance, there are certain groups in the East who intentionally induce states of madness to reach psychosis. In America, we would classify that as a mental disorder, whereas in India, it might be viewed as a divine gift. Everything is relative, I think; if you expand your perspective, anything is possible. 🙂 Find something you truly enjoy doing. Something that allows you to lose yourself entirely in the moment.
Harold Anderson3, I find myself feeling remarkably similar to you. I was always hyperactive—constantly traveling, absorbing massive amounts of information, always working on something; I truly believed the sky was the limit, as the cliché goes. But then life hit me hard; I suppose I actually sabotaged myself, and suddenly I lost my grip due to an overwhelming amount of fear regarding my own survival. I snapped the first time, managed to pull myself together, then snapped a second time, recovered quickly, and then that third time... I broke harder than ever before. I had just landed the career I had always dreamed of, only to lose that job, lose certain friends, and lose all motivation and willpower. Since I spend quite a bit of time at home and am not particularly social lately, my social skills have deteriorated, as has my self-confidence. However, I have come to realize a few things—looking back at the past is somewhat like staring into a deep well. You cannot go inside; you can only fall in, or you can draw water from it. And that water represents life. Therefore, one should view the past as a reservoir of experience that serves as your water. You might realize that you are strong simply because you have endured all of this, and perhaps the suffering you are experiencing is actually a positive thing, because those who have had nothing but perfection in their lives are completely unprepared when they eventually encounter a situation like this. They don't understand suffering until it finds them. Take some time for yourself and consider what the best course of action might be. What do you know how to do that makes you feel good and helps you forget the pain? What successfully distracts you and captures your interest? For me, that abyss often opens up—that feeling that life is empty and we are merely here to suffer. But do you know why we suffer? I guess we suffer because we live in ignorance. Yet, this isn't the kind of knowledge you learn from a textbook; it is self-knowledge. Once we realize that everyone is essentially a miniature universe unto themselves, things might become easier. Because you are your own universe, and everyone living today will one day be dead. They will never even realize they once lived. Everything is painful—birth, life, death. Pain is the very thing that strengthens us; when something hurts, it is a sign that you are growing. Much like a muscle, when you exercise it, it aches, but it aches precisely because it is growing. Accept the pain as a reminder that you are alive, just for a little while longer. We are often presented with these imposed images of how life ought to look, but the magic lies in the fact that everyone's life looks entirely different. What lies within our subconscious is a struggle for power; we want to be powerful, valued, respected, loved. But that is actually a negative pursuit, whereas suffering is positive. If you think about it for a while, you might realize this.
I suppose one might wonder how it is even possible to decide to maintain a positive outlook when you are gripped by such a profound sense of misery. This feeling isn't something rational that you can simply reason away; it is an immutable state of being, an internal reality that exists regardless of logic. If it were actually within anyone's power to simply choose happiness and decide to feel good on command, life would be significantly less complicated. In such a hypothetical world, I imagine we wouldn't have any need for medications, controlled substances, psychotherapy, or all those other various interventions used to make people feel slightly more tolerable. When your brain's reward centers are essentially numbed by medication, it seems almost inevitable that a person would end up feeling utterly wretched.
David Vaughn75 said:In a weird way, that’s actually a good thing.
Because look, once a patient decides all these psychiatrists are total morons or that they're actively out to get them, you've pretty much lost the battle for recovery.
There is no such thing as a cure for schizophrenia. I might believe these professionals when they actually manage to heal someone, rather than merely masking the symptoms with medication.
http://youtu.be/o1AEbuRR4jw
p.s. I don't personally consider myself to have ever been ill, nor do I believe I possess some sort of disease. I simply possessed a different perception of reality. Since I am the only one who truly knows what I experienced, no one else can claim to understand. I have no desire to engage with this topic or this forum anymore, as it seems most people here have been completely brainwashed.
I notice this thread is gaining some traction, so I suppose I should contribute to the discussion. I have endured three psychotic episodes thus far; the most recent occurred just over a year ago. My doctor has recently tapered my medication down to 5 mg of olanzapine, and it seems I will be completely off it soon. However, I feel absolutely wretched. I find it nearly impossible to articulate to others just how terrible I feel. It is as if every ounce of energy has been drained from my body, leaving me feeling like some sort of zombie. I sleep late every single day and lack the slightest inclination to leave the house or engage in anything at all. I am physically alive, yet I feel as though I am merely existing in a state of numbness. Lately, thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind quite frequently, though I suppose I lack the courage to follow through. I am also terrified of applying for work, because I worry that if I were to secure any kind of job, an employer would eventually realize I am dealing with certain issues. Practically speaking, my mental capacity, motivation, and focus simply do not exist. I cannot concentrate enough to accomplish even basic tasks... I feel utterly burnt out and, perhaps most distressingly, I see no way out of this situation. Consequently, I retreat to my room and stay inside, as I feel that is the safest course of action. When I speak with my parents, my mother invariably remarks that "we should have disciplined you more strictly." The environment I find myself in feels narrow-minded and decayed, and I see no escape. I feel no gratitude toward my parents, as they have instilled nothing but fear in me. I have never truly known who I am or what I represent; I am essentially lost, searching for something without even knowing what that might be. Life has lost its purpose, and this entire quest for meaning—for finding something to bring joy or something productive to do—feels like a complete illusion. I see nothing meaningful in this world; in fact, the world is maximally cruel, and even those closest to me, who pretend to love me and wish me well, actually serve only to deepen my depression. I see no point in money anymore either; I think about how it would be good to earn my own income, but what is the ultimate gain? I can buy objects, certainly, but I cannot purchase internal satisfaction or a sense of well-being. I honestly wish I could end my life and stop this suffering, because I am truly going through hell. The realization that I am mentally ill and that I will likely spend my entire life visiting psychiatrists and swallowing pills is terrifying. Is such a life even worth living? I feel like a mistake of nature, possessing mutated genes that prevent me from adapting or integrating into a society that claims to be "normal," though that society is far from it. Reaching out to a doctor to ask for help feels equally futile, since my physician tells me that life is one thing and the medical aspect is another. He can only attempt to address things from a clinical standpoint by adjusting my dosage—which feels like nothing more than a mask. I do not know whom to turn to for help, nor do I know how one even recovers. I have considered looking into joining a residential community or a commune specifically for people struggling with psychosis and schizophrenia, if such a place even exists in America.