Posts by Richard White8

Raymond Walker5 said:I don't work in the field, nor am I deeply invested in psychiatry, but I do think it would be incredibly valuable to uncover the triggers for that smaller group of people who deal with schizophrenia but don't have a clear genetic predisposition.

And who is going to find it? It remains a mystery. Funding for psychiatric research is negligible. All the capital flows directly into cancer research, and even then, we haven't seen significant breakthroughs beyond standard chemotherapy and radiation.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Maybe I'm wrong, but I've noticed one thing: highly spiritual and intelligent people seem to lean toward these kinds of illnesses more often...
And it’s honestly sad. That's why I find myself clinging to the idea of getting my PhD if I can manage it. It feels like it might offer some solace. Between my concentration issues, compulsions, social phobia—not to mention everything else that's even worse—getting through college is a struggle. Just functioning in life is hard. I see you all wondering if you could even handle an eight-hour workday; I ask myself the same thing. When I finally get to campus, I wonder if I'll have the stamina to stay through a lecture, show up, and actually look okay doing it.
It's embarrassing to deal with mental health struggles. Richard White8 described it perfectly; you don't want even your closest family to know. You feel ashamed, like it makes you weak or lesser than everyone else... though it shouldn't be that way.
Vitamins help, but they make me nauseous. Most pills do, and my stomach is just a mess. I don't smoke or drink, though I do love coffee—even if it gives me heartburn. In the evenings, while the rest of the world is asleep, I love to just lie down and stare at the stars, imagining I'm on some distant planet far away from all these problems.

I earned my Master’s degree and fully intended to pursue a PhD. I was established in a high-level career, performing at a high standard. Then this illness hit, and it set me back completely. Now, after everything I've been through, finding decent work feels like an impossible task.
Look, Rebecca Rivera3, if you’re dead set against medication, you might want to try Omega-3 and curcumin just to keep things from spiraling. It might offer some relief. Personally, though, if I were in your shoes, I’d give the actual medicine a chance. They have newer antipsychotics available now that don't leave you feeling like a zombie.
Things aren't like they were thirty years ago. Back then, you just took an injection of Haldol or Moditen and you were done with it. Now, we have options like Azolar, Seroquel, Riset, and Zeldox—newer medications that generally come with fewer side effects. And don't go chasing high doses. My psychiatrist told me straight up: lower doses are better. In fact, I was actually the one pushing her to increase my dosage, which was a mistake. It’s good that you have a goal, though. Working toward that PhD will help keep you focused.

Jose Ward4 said:Just wanted to give you all a quick update—today went surprisingly well. I was actually feeling pretty anxious beforehand, telling myself, "Look, they’re just people too, nothing special," and I even had a few questions lined up. Then, things got a little weird right off the bat. My neighbor tried to strike up a conversation while I was heading out, and then, well, I tried to be friendly with a lady on my way there, but she practically bolted. I guess maybe she wasn't used to someone being so direct? Like, "Oh my god, why is this man talking to me?" I told myself, "Stay cool, man," because I really didn't want to come off as intense, but she ended up getting pretty annoyed, so I just kept moving. Eventually, I ran into my sister outside. She gave me a "good day," and I replied with this weird, strained voice, "good day." Once I got into the waiting room, she told me to grab my medical files and paperwork. I just said, "Okay." Honestly, the place was miserable—no AC, everyone was huffing and puffing through the heat, and the whole vibe was just totally lifeless. When it was finally my turn, I walked in and said, "good day" with a big smile. The nurse was wearing a plain t-shirt, looking very casual. As I sat down, she asked, "Is it hot out there?" It caught me off guard. I mean, it wasn't quite "death by heatstroke" levels, so I just said, "It’s warm, but I'm handling it okay." She goes, "Oh, you young people always handle it better." She looked maybe ten years older than me, so I offered some advice: "Well, just put a frozen water bottle in front of a fan." She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, that works." I just sat there in silence. I could tell the conversation was turning into one of those awkward, pitying exchanges where we're both just trying to be polite, so I decided to jump straight to the point. I asked her, "Can I have kids while I'm taking these medications?" I explained the situation, and she just said, "Yes." Then she asked, "Do you think it's in your genes?" To which I said, "Yes." She followed up with, "It's not in the genes, it's about what the child inherits from you and your mother." I just smiled and said, "Ah, well..." because, honestly, it felt a bit nonsensical to me. I've always thought a disease is more of a consequence than a predetermined genetic destiny. Anyway, we said our goodbyes. She mentioned seeing me again in September, and I managed to squeeze out a strained, "Thank you, goodbye." All in all, I feel a million times better than I did before. I've been drinking that ginger tonic since Tuesday, and I think I've actually lost a couple of pounds. I was 189, but I can definitely tell by my gut that it's dropping. They say ginger balances digestion, helps with weight loss, and is great for detoxing the lungs. So, I'm sticking with it. Who knows what else might help?

Yeah, ginger and turmeric are fantastic! Mixing turmeric and ginger with a teaspoon of honey—that's what I used to drink, and I felt great. I don't know why I stopped. Pure laziness. But keep at it; it'll do you good.

Raymond Walker5 said:Depersonalization is, unfortunately, a term that everyone experiences differently, and psychiatrists often don't quite grasp the nuances—some haven't even heard of certain variations of it. Usually, it's used to describe symptoms within dissociative disorders, which are rooted in anxiety stemming from a specific trauma, so it doesn't quite align with what you're describing. What you're talking about sounds more like "depersonalization" in a much more literal sense, which points more toward psychosis rather than the typical dissociation or derealization linked to a dissociative disorder.

You're certainly an interesting case, though I suspect there is something deeper going on than just simple stress. Plenty of people head off to war and experience horrific things, developing PTSD, yet they typically don't develop psychosis or signs of schizophrenia.

That's why it surprises me that you developed such intense, long-term psychosis without any genetic predisposition. Personally, I don't think stress played much of a role here.
As for marijuana, it can definitely act as a trigger for schizophrenia in individuals who are already predisposed to it.
It would likely trigger derealization for me too, since my brain tends to lean that way in certain situations. Though, honestly, so many people experience derealization from smoking weed that it’s enough reason for anyone with half a brain to avoid it entirely. It might happen once, or it might happen a thousand times, but personally, I wouldn't take that risk.

Are you perhaps practicing according to a specific psychotherapeutic school of thought? In American hospitals, most psychiatrists specialize in biological psychiatry—they claim everything stems from increased stress and overloaded coping mechanisms, rarely leaning on genetic theories. The human psyche remains terra incognita; it is largely unexplored, and individual cases frequently defy statistics and textbooks. They lack the actual instruments to measure the cause and effect of these disorders. My own psychiatrist admitted this because she is an honest woman. There are plenty of doctors who pretend to be all-knowing, yet everyone just ends up on antipsychotics and Zyprexa, depending on how the medication hits them.

Carol Barrett2 said:Look, I get it, but I don't have any hard proof. How am I even supposed to confirm if I'm intersex? You'd need a full genetic test for that. And honestly, I don't smoke—though I am a total coffee addict, knocking back two massive, overflowing mugs a day just to feel human. I need that caffeine hit to shake me awake; otherwise, I’m basically a zombie because my sleep is a wreck... maybe it's chronic fatigue, who knows. But whatever, I'm just saying—none of us are exactly at peak physical health these days, and that definitely takes a toll on your mental state. Toss in all the other stressors—money troubles, messy relationships, the whole nine yards—and it's a lot to carry.

Exactly, and these heavy medications just drain your body. You need to eat plenty of vitamins and fruit, which I don't do. I supplement heavily with vitamins, Omega-3, magnesium, and curcumin. I definitely have less energy than I did before starting the meds. These drugs cause excessive sleepiness, yet sometimes you can't sleep at all. They have downsides, certainly, but they have upsides too. In my case, the medication had its benefits. Psychiatrists know their stuff, but if any of them had actually lived through psychosis and taken these drugs themselves, they might think differently. And honestly, with these diagnoses, functioning is hard enough, let alone working. Why doesn't the government provide some form of assistance or disability support? I wouldn't even dare ask to be declared disabled; what would happen to me then?
In England, people receive social assistance if they are over 330 pounds or have certain illnesses, and the state helps them. But here in America, you have to hide the fact that you were ever sick. If you show up for a job interview and mention you've dealt with psychosis or schizophrenia, your chances of getting hired are zero. It’s easiest for those working at state institutions. Luckily, a friend of mine works at a university, so no one can fault him for being ill or fire him for it. But if you work for a private company and end up in the psych ward three times in a year, you'd be fired on the spot.

It's not like we chose this. Who in their right mind would choose mental illness? If you're treating cancer, everyone is full of compassion, but if you're treating schizophrenia, you're labeled a lunatic and everyone avoids you. That's why it's best not to tell anyone what's really going on. Just your closest friends. Maybe not even family.
I'm looking for work, but I don't know if I'm capable of enduring eight hours of labor every single day. What kind of divine punishment is this? We'll all go to paradise like saints. Or perhaps in the next reincarnation, we'll all be Buddhas. haha

Carol Barrett2 said:Look, we have to eat. Seriously, it’s not like I’m talking about one bad day where you skip lunch—I’m talking about going 14 to 20 hours without a bite, day after day. That’s exactly how I ended up dropping down to 138 pounds and landing myself in the hospital, for crying out loud. It all stems from family stuff. We’ve been getting squeezed from every direction—money troubles, health issues, and then just the usual everyday friction and bickering. Honestly, whenever I get into it with my folks, I just can't eat. I end up skipping meals entirely. It isn't some weird way of punishing them, or even punishing myself—it’s not that kind of thing—it’s just that once I reach that point, I’m just completely done. My stomach is totally full, and not in a good way.

Honestly, it feels like we’re all just getting squeezed by life lately—between the stuff Rebecca Rivera3 is dealing with, what you're going through, and my own mess, it's a lot. And don't even get me started on the health side of things. It’s scary how much goes unnoticed—all those illnesses that just simmer under the surface before they actually show up. We aren't exactly firing on all cylinders physically, either. It's just one thing after another.

I mean, I know—or maybe I just heard this story once—about some guy who dealt with these constant headaches for years. Nobody believed him, obviously. Everyone probably just thought he was being dramatic or something, but then it turns out he actually had a tumor. If I’m remembering that right, at least.

Maybe a lot of us are dealing with some kind of hormonal imbalance. Personally, I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on with me—mostly because I think I might be LGBT, and it’s that little "T" at the end that really sticks in my mind. Honestly, I’ve been sitting with that thought for a long time now. At the end of the day, I know my own body better than anyone else, right? I can actually feel the shifts happening—it’s not just all in my head. There are visible changes, too. It's real.

I also avoid eating. I just smoke and drink coffee, then eat late at night. I am LGBT as well. But I don't "think" it—I know it. And it isn't caused by hormonal issues. However, these habits can certainly trigger psychological struggles.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I'm honestly undecided about starting the medication. I need to see how I feel over the next few weeks before making a final call. To be honest, I'm already dealing with a significant amount of emotional numbness and emptiness, and I'm worried about what these drugs might do to me. That numbness is the hardest part of everything; there isn't really a cure for it. It makes living a normal life nearly impossible when you feel indifferent toward almost everything.

As for the compulsions, I actually downplayed things when I said 15. I have a tendency to minimize my struggles. In reality, my better days are closer to 15, but if I'm being completely honest, the number is more likely around 30.

Thank you; it has been hell. No one has it easy, and psychosis is arguably worse than cancer—once you diagnose it, you treat it. These are our crucifies. When someone repeats themselves thirty times, believe me, I know how exhausting that is. Things can get worse, or at least they did for me. Emotional numbness is also a symptom of the illness. I sense you have a massive resistance to medication, but you should know they work. Perhaps you just haven't found the right antidepressant yet. I attend a support group where all the women take something—antidepressants or antipsychotics—and almost everyone is doing better because of it. Just try it for a few months. Even though it can take a year or two to see full results.
The meds aren't perfect, but they produce results. My friend would be hospitalized constantly if it weren't for his medication. He takes high doses, yet he works and functions perfectly normally.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I believe this kind of situation often develops due to a genetic predisposition triggered by specific stressors. Whether it reaches a breaking point or doesn't manifest at all usually depends on one's environment.
In my case, my entire father's side of the family deals with illness. For the past year, I didn't face major issues beyond some depression, but then everything else started hitting me. To be honest, I probably should have been hospitalized several times more; my intelligence always seems to pull me through, or at least that’s what my psychiatrist claims. When a psychosis hit me—one I hadn't mentioned to anyone before—I ended up lying on the floor under a blanket with nothing but a towel for cover. I genuinely thought the world outside was shaking and that if I got off the floor, I would die. I stayed there for days, taking whatever medication I had just to numb myself enough to quiet the voices, repeating that cycle until I finally found the strength to get up. I was terrified of it happening again.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw a total stranger. Once I pulled myself together and saw how neglected I looked—thin, disheveled, with long hair because I couldn't bring myself to care for it—it became too much to handle. I realized things had gone too far. There was nothing left to do but learn to live with it and try to pull myself together, which is exactly what I've attempted to do.
However, it has returned, and I find myself withdrawing inward. I am deeply afraid of losing my mind. I don't talk about my psychotic episodes anymore; instead, I hide them because I'm scared of being institutionalized or something worse. When it takes hold, I lose control, so I shut myself away where no one can see or hear me, just waiting for it to pass.

Visionary, I also struggle with stomach issues because of my lack of eating, so I rely on various tablets and ointments for my stomach.

And now I’m supposed to start antipsychotics, but I really don't want to. I admit, I haven't been taking them. The reason is simple: they don't even work for my specific condition, and they would just sedate me even further until I become a complete zombie, which I refuse to be.

It’s just like this from time to time... whenever I start talking more, I tend to withdraw. I rarely go out for coffee with anyone; usually, I only leave the house when absolutely necessary.
I just want to be healthy. Is that really too much to ask?

Look, don't leave this untreated and hope it just heals itself. It won't. In my experience, I've been through this ten times already—four years in a state similar to yours: hearing voices, compulsions, hitting myself in the head with my fists. Nothing went away on its own until I actually started taking antipsychotics. They won't turn you into a zombie. At least, they don't for everyone.
You have to try several different ones if necessary until you find the right fit.
I was on high doses of all sorts before eventually settling on Zeldox. I thought I'd never get rid of the voices. But I did—they're gone. Great! Then, I thought I’d never stop the compulsive behaviors—having to repeat everything fifty times or being unable to calm down. That cleared up too. Great!!
The point is, the medication works—you just have to find the right match. Start taking the meds! As time goes on, things will likely get worse, not better, without them.
With these antipsychotics, you can tell pretty quickly if one isn't working for you—within a week or two, you'll notice if it's too heavy-handed. You have the right to ask your doctor to switch medications if they aren't sitting right with you. They cannot refuse you.
I am living proof that these drugs work. My voices and compulsions are resolved. Sure, sometimes I think life wouldn't be so bad if I weren't here, but even healthy people think that when they're constantly hunting for jobs and worrying about the future.
Start looking for the medication that works for you!!! Psychoses don't just vanish. That's why, in the old days, mental health patients were kept in institutions for thirty years. We don't have those kinds of cases anymore. With medication, people live normally at home or hold down jobs if they can. Or if they're lucky enough to work. MEDICATIONS—a huge YES for that!

Right, I neglected to mention that I dealt with depersonalization. That lasted about five or six years before the psychosis set in. I would essentially become whoever impressed me most. It felt as though that person was actually me—as if my face, my body, and my very movements belonged to them. I felt like them, both internally and externally. It was incredibly disruptive. I used to beat myself up, thinking I was just some poser imitating others, but I wasn't imitating anyone; I truly felt like they were me. I couldn't even take public transit—like riding the subway—because I felt everyone was staring at me. I couldn't meet anyone's eyes; I could only stare at the floor or a single spot. Eventually, the sensation of being watched on a bus became unbearable, so I started taking Ubers instead. It’s a terrifying feeling—everyone staring at you, knowing exactly what you're thinking. This went on for years prior to the actual psychotic break.
So, looking back, it was all pre-psychotic. It was just a cumulative buildup. And here is another diagnostic surprise: I spent two years living with auditory hallucinations, behaving aggressively but without any compulsions. Then, in the third year of hearing voices, I started arranging everything symmetrically—left to right, front to back. I would go back into the bathroom twenty-five times just to check if the shampoo bottle was positioned left, right, or centered. It drove me insane, worse than the voices themselves. The problem was that the voices eventually began commanding me to perform these actions. When that happened, a snake-like rage would boil up inside me, and I would start punching myself in the face. My face would be bruised and swollen every few days. I even cracked two dental fillings from the impact. I endured all of this simply because I didn't realize I was in a state of psychosis.

Perhaps if I had started on anxiolytics or certain antidepressants earlier, I might have avoided this. Instead, it had to be handled with heavy-duty antipsychotics.

Raymond Walker5 said:Is there any explanation for what might have triggered this, especially since it seems like there's no history of schizophrenia in your family? I assume you don't know for sure, but can you speculate if there was a specific trigger... maybe a head injury, some kind of toxicity, major emotional trauma, or anything like that?
I know that people dealing with intense anxiety can feel like they are losing their minds. Especially those of us who struggle with derealization or depersonalization often fear we are developing schizophrenia or psychosis, but in practice, that rarely actually happens. That's why cases like yours feel a bit different, so to speak.
I know a girl who slipped into derealization twice after just one hit of marijuana, which triggered terrible paranoia and made her think she was going insane. The derealization eventually cleared up, but she ended up struggling with OCD and intrusive thoughts later on—constatingly berating herself and feeling like she was losing it—but she never actually developed full-blown psychosis through all of that.

My psychiatrist explained that the trigger was an overwhelming overload of stress mechanisms. There is a threshold for how much stress the brain can handle; once you cross it, in some cases, it develops into psychosis.
For years, I was a firm believer in global conspiracies—the Masons and the Illuminati. I was convinced we were all going to be microchipped to fulfill the New Testament prophecies from the Book of Revelation—the Mark of the Beast. Haha. I even had validation for these beliefs from my college professor, who became a close family friend; he was totally on board with it, so I figured if he believed it, it had to be true. Yet, he remained mentally stable. My brother listened to the exact same stories, and he stayed sane too.
I have always been deeply spiritual and believed that God guides my life. And yes, I started getting these stinging sensations in my hand—right where the chip would be implanted. Those stings were signs to me that God was communicating who would be chipped and telling me how to act in certain situations. During this time, I functioned normally, working and socializing—all while feeling those constant stings in my hands regarding the chips. Then, the first voice started: "You will live forever." I told myself God was speaking. Then the Lord would kiss me. I thought, "How wonderful—I am chosen by God and I am eternal." Then, unfortunately, my work contract ended, I moved, and suddenly, within just a few days, the voices began. Then they came every other day, then more frequently and intensely. Eventually, they came every single day—and the rest is history. Four years of my life spent enslaved to voices. Did I smoke marijuana in college and afterward? Yes, but not constantly; there were periods of years where I wouldn't touch it. I don't think it was the marijuana. If that were the case, there would be hundreds of thousands of psychotic people in America; plenty of people smoke marijuana and nothing happens to them. Besides, it's become medicine; it's legal now, except in places like the Netherlands or Colorado, USA. In my view, the theory that marijuana causes schizophrenia remains unproven.

Raymond Walker5 said:That's really interesting. Given everything you now know about schizophrenia, regardless of what doctors officially label it, how would you characterize your own condition? Is it truly that, or something else entirely?
To me, it seems like schizophrenia should be strictly hereditary, considering it's a genuine disease that physically alters the brain at an organic level, which means it should be passed down through genetics.
Personally, I've never heard of anyone developing schizophrenia just because of anxiety or social phobia. Is it possible you were on some medications that triggered the hallucinations? Or perhaps it was a brief psychotic episode? Were you aware the hallucinations were happening, or did they feel completely real to you?
I realize I sound like I'm interrogating you like a psychiatrist, but I'm just genuinely curious.

I haven't been diagnosed with schizophrenia, even though that is how I describe it. They gave me F23.2—an acute psychotic disorder, similar to schizophrenia.
According to international classification standards, those acute psychotic disorders are meant for episodes lasting about a month, yet mine lasted four years!!
The reality is that I believed the voices were real and lived according to their commands—I did whatever they told me to do. It wasn't some fleeting thing. For four years, I lived in constant conversation and conflict with those voices. Why didn't they diagnose me with paranoid schizophrenia? I was dealing with a sensation of a snake inside me that was persecuting me. I have no idea.
I walked into the psychiatric emergency room myself, explained everything, and stated that this had been going on for four years. A resident was the one who made the diagnosis. Since then, my outpatient psychiatrist accepted his finding and hasn't changed it. I don't understand how they arrive at these diagnoses. A friend of mine suffers from paranoia—specifically persecutory delusions—and is constantly in the hospital. Yet, he has never been diagnosed with schizophrenia because he doesn't experience auditory hallucinations. He is labeled with F29—unspecified non-organic psychosis.
I don't know what force drove me to psychiatry—I sent myself there after four years of this. It made no sense to me; the voices kept telling me that God was healing me from a curse, yet it hadn't passed after four years. They told me I had partial insight into my condition and let me go home simply because I didn't have supplemental insurance. Otherwise, they would have kept me hospitalized.
So, this wasn't a short episode lasting a single month; it was four years long, and they still slapped me with "acute psychotic disorder."
If I had been in the hospital and spent every single day telling the doctors during rounds that there was a snake inside me, or that Satan was talking to me non-stop, perhaps they would have finally changed the diagnosis to actual schizophrenia.

Raymond Walker5 said:I don't have any personal connection to schizophrenia myself, but I’ve been curious about the genetics of it lately. Is it always something passed down through the family tree? I'm wondering if anyone here has dealt with a classic progressive case without having any close or even distant relatives who struggled with it. Basically, does it ever just strike out of nowhere? And if it does appear completely out of the blue, would we still technically call it schizophrenia, or is it more likely just an acute episode of psychosis?

No one in my immediate or extended family has ever suffered from schizophrenia or psychosis. I developed it out of thin air. Well, not exactly out of thin air—it was more gradual. It started with intense anxiety, social phobia, and a fear of people lasting several years—and then suddenly, the voices and auditory hallucinations arrived. Regarding schizophrenia, hallucinations are the primary symptom, along with disorganized speech. But psychiatric diagnoses aren't like an MRI or a blood test. Multiple psychiatrists can change the diagnosis for a single patient. One will say it is schizophrenia, while another will claim it isn't. There was actually a recent trial involving someone who committed murder under the influence of voices. They conducted a forensic psychiatric evaluation.
Psychiatrists fought among themselves. One expert testified that he had diminished capacity; another insisted he didn't. Ultimately, that individual received 25 years in prison for murder.
They simply lack a definitive instrument for assessment. Most of what they learn comes from what the patient tells them and what the surrounding environment reveals about their behavior. They observe things through conversation with the patient—how they speak, how they think. The whole thing is built on shaky ground.
You could walk into a psychiatrist's office and tell them you suffer from depression, that you can't get out of bed, that you hear voices, and that you want to end your life. They will hand you a diagnosis of severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms. And a pile of medication. You don't have to take them. You could repeat that you are suffering from depression for ten years straight and apply for Social Security disability benefits. They have no way to measure depression or verify whether the medication is actually working.

Nicole Barrett76 said:A truly skilled psychiatrist actually functions in the opposite manner; they ask the questions, allowing the patient to lead the narrative. A proficient professional—whether a psychiatrist or a psychologist—subtly guides the patient through the session without being overbearing. They must also ensure that the conversation doesn't dwell too long on a single subject, because there is such a thing as a formal thought disorder, even if thoughts themselves lack a physical shape. This manifests as an overly expansive, viscous way of thinking. While a patient might wander endlessly through a single topic with a chaotic web of associations, a talented therapist uses skillful guidance to steer them back toward a structured and healthy flow of thought.

I saw a state-employed psychologist five times. Mostly, I did all the talking while he just listened, followed by silence—both of us sitting there for a minute or two. Then he’d drop a conclusion: you need to accept yourself, that there's a conflict between who you are and who you think you ought to be. After five sessions, he told me he couldn't see me under my insurance anymore; we’d have to switch to private practice. He offered a discount $83 per session. I couldn't stomach that.
Then I went to a day clinic. There were fifteen of us, packed tightly around a table. First, a doctor comes in, reviews everyone's files, checks their medications, and gives instructions—do this, don't do that. Then we have "psychotherapy" led by a nurse. It's mostly nonsense—everyone just blurts out whatever pops into their heads and trades advice.
That's what they call a support group. It shows you how many people share your diagnosis and maybe helps you make some acquaintances.
Ultimately, for actual psychotherapy—and there are a hundred different schools, psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, Jungian, Gestalt, cybernetic, etc.—you have to go private and pay out of pocket. You won't find solutions in a single session. An individual session with a private psychiatrist costs at least $100. If you go twice a month, that's $600. And you realistically need to go for at least a year. Those are massive expenses.

What the government covers through public health is just medication, hospital stays, and those support groups in the day clinics.

bluedrifter45 said:I suppose I agree. I was reading online that for something like Abilify, you really should take it orally for at least two weeks before switching to an injection just to gauge potential side effects—which, I haven't really experienced yet, aside from perhaps some insomnia—but my doctors seemed to rush the process, so I'm feeling a bit uneasy about it. Then there's Zyprexa, which causes such terrible weight gain all on its own, even if you set aside the fact that it drives your appetite through the roof. Like you said, these medications feel so ungrateful; I suspect that even the most seasoned psychiatrist in the country couldn't accurately predict how any individual might react. It seems to me that, much like antibiotics don't cure the root cause, these drugs mostly just mask the symptoms, and I have to admit I harbor a deep aversion toward antipsychotics specifically because I know I can function without them, and maybe what I actually need is talk therapy rather than a pill that could potentially cause unpredictable, long-term issues. I am generally quite happy with my psychiatric care, but I'm considering seeing someone privately—does anyone happen to have recommendations for a specialist in Cleveland or New York City?

For private options in Cleveland, I know of a practitioner through a friend who attended group therapy with Dr. Girotto for five years. My friend claims it was helpful, despite being hospitalized five or six times during that period. When he was in the hospital, his psychiatrist advised him to stop attending that group because they utilize psychodynamic methods (based on Freud), which she claimed involves too much introspection and psychological digging, potentially causing harm in certain cases.
Subsequently, my friend saw Dr. Petris, also privately in Cleveland. He is quite expensive. One session costs $133. He went about five or six times. Primarily, the psychiatrist does all the talking while you occasionally chime in. He isn't seeing anyone now, and he is doing fine.

How much did hospitalization actually help you? I wasn’t admitted myself, though I should have been. Based on what my friend went through, they just crank up the antipsychotics to the absolute limit during stays—for instance, hitting him with 10 mg of Haldol until his jaw locked up, then having to give him an Akineton injection to fix it. That’s the routine for two weeks: just stacking massive doses of antipsychotics. Then, they send you home. In places like the psychiatric ward in Cleveland, they won't keep anyone longer than three weeks. For more severe cases, they ship you off to specialized facilities—like my friend, who was sent to a state hospital near Little Rock or maybe Naperville for another month. The fundamental issue is that there is zero psychotherapeutic approach. It’s nothing but rounds, brief check-ins on how you're feeling, and upping the medication dosage. I don't understand why they don't implement some form of psychotherapy. Instead of helping a patient realize they've lost touch with reality, they just leave everything to the drugs. The end result is just sleeping 12 hours a day, only to repeat the same cycle all over again.

Harold Anderson3 said:Yeah, that is definitely a smaller dose, staying under 10 mg a day. Personally, I take 30 mg daily, though if I start feeling like it’s too much and I can't stop sleeping, I'll drop down to 15 mg for a few days, just to be safe. Honestly, I'm not really vibing with this new doctor I was assigned after my hospital stays back in December and January. I think I might try to switch back to my old physician.

By the way, this thread has really started picking up lately; there used to be times when ten posts in a row would all be mine, but now we've got about five different people contributing. Please, keep posting—it feels good to have this space where we can share our experiences and look out for one another. 👍

What is interesting about antipsychotics is how they can be a nightmare for one person and perfectly fine for another. For me, taking 30 mg of Azolar daily was pure torture; I couldn't sit or lie down, I just had to pace constantly. I eventually had to get off it entirely. The side effects of these medications are intense and vary wildly from person to person. The most important thing is finding the right medication through trial and error.

George Cook said:@goldentip how are you holding up socially these days? How do you spend your downtime?

I went through a psychotic episode that dragged on for nearly two years. Looking back, if I had actually sought psychiatric help at the time, would I have ended up with schizophrenia?
Back then, I’d keep my phone powered off because I was convinced it was being tapped. I was terrified of walking outside at night, constantly spinning around thinking someone was following me. To make matters worse, some creep actually *was* stalking me and my friend, which just poured gasoline on the fire of my paranoia.
I was certain my coworkers were enemies spying on my every word.😵
Once, during a meeting at the office, I suddenly blurted something out. Everyone turned to look at me with pale faces, and I just burst out laughing—honestly, I had no idea what I’d even said. It was as if my mouth moved faster than my brain could process a sentence. It happened again, too. I just told them, "Sorry, I'm tripping over my words," though I truly hadn't a clue what had come out of my mouth.🤔
My focus at university was nonexistent.
Then, about six months later, my colleagues ran into me and started recounting these hilarious things I’d said—things I didn't remember saying at all, despite usually being the life of the party. I was also plagued by dreams where a hand tried to pull me toward a mirror; I’d fight it and turn toward my mother, who would say in the dream, "What hand? You have schizophrenia." Just another dream centered on that diagnosis.
It wasn't until I finally read about schizophrenia that I realized the phone-switching and the stalking paranoia (which my friend had fueled, and I had fully believed!) were classic symptoms. I looked at my friend, who was staring at me blankly, and said, "Wait, this is schizophrenia, isn't it?"
Is it possible for one person to influence another's consciousness? To convince someone else to adopt their psychotic delusions?
My friend, who was sane throughout this, just stared at me, white as a sheet, unable to comprehend my talk of dream intrusion and loss of control.😵
@goldentip I feel the same way because I was dealing with massive stress and paranoia at the time. But I suppose there's no use crying over spilled milk.
How can you ever be sure it won't happen again?
Oh, and during that period, I suffered from constant nightmares, lucid dreams, and visions of demons. I was terrified to sleep.

I’ve finally started reintegrating. I reached out to some old friends whom I cut off during my last psychotic break, and they actually responded—things are looking up. One friend in particular has been a huge help; he’s also going through mental health treatment. He struggles with persecutory delusions—he’s convinced people are out to kill him, that the bus driver is an assassin, or that he’ll choke if he tries to eat alone. Interestingly, despite being admitted to psychiatric hospitals five times, they’ve never officially diagnosed him with schizophrenia. They just keep labeling him with F29—unspecified non-organic psychosis.
I can handle being social. There was a period when I was constantly out every Saturday night, drinking heavily—that was during my psychosis. Once I started my medication, my desire for alcohol just vanished. Now, I mostly just grab coffee with a friend, maybe a beer, or head to the movies or out for pizza.
My father's cousin helps me out quite a bit. She’s significantly older than I am, but she’s a legitimate therapist, so we often grab coffee or I’ll head over to her place for lunch. However, I can't handle long conversations. If I have to sit through hours of talking, it wears me down.
I have finally come to realize that these voices are nothing more than products of my own mind—just like those other figures, demons, and Satan. I truly hope this doesn't happen to me again. God forbid.
If it starts up again, I’ve gained enough experience to recognize it for what it is: an illness, not reality. My plan is to attend the support groups organized by my psychiatrist—it isn't some deep psychoanalysis session, just practical discussions about how we feel and how our medications are working.

Raymond Walker5 said:I’m certainly no expert on schizophrenia (thank goodness!), but since I saw B-complex mentioned, I thought I’d chime in with a little observation. I’ve heard that B vitamins—especially B-12—can be notoriously difficult for the body to absorb, particularly when they come in pill form. I’ve also heard stories from others who felt a massive difference once they switched to a liquid B-complex, especially when standard tablets just weren't doing the trick. The logic seems to be that a liquid version hits the upper digestive tract and gets absorbed much more efficiently, whereas pills might travel through such a long path that absorption becomes difficult or even impossible by the time they get where they need to go.
From what I can tell, you don't see much liquid B-complex available in our local pharmacies here in the States, though they do carry liquid supplements designed for toddlers that contain essentially the same nutritional profile as a full B-complex. I can't recall the specific brand name off the top of my head, but that's just something I picked up while chatting with a pharmacist.
I did notice that I occasionally feel a bit more relaxed after drinking some Juicy Fruit flavored electrolyte drinks, which might just be a total coincidence. Looking back, I realized those drinks actually contain a whole B-complex, similar to how Coca-Cola or other fortified sodas work.
Whether that sense of relaxation was a genuine effect of the vitamins or just a fluke, I honestly couldn't say for sure. I probably wouldn't recommend them as a primary supplement, though, mainly because of some of the additives used, even if most of the ingredients are naturally derived.

My psychiatrist also brought up a certain B vitamin. I believe it was B9, but even they aren't entirely certain—it's still on the fringe and not 100% proven. They say the same thing about Omega-3, that it helps with schizophrenia.

I have taken Neurobion, which provides high doses of B6, B9, and B12. However, Neurobion is typically prescribed for neurological nerve disorders rather than mental health issues.

And yes, most recently, my psychiatrist suggested I try curcumin. It is found naturally in turmeric, but curcumin in supplement form is about 185% stronger than the spice itself. I am taking that now.

Even psychiatrists don't have all the answers. As my doctor put it, prescribing medication is like a blindfolded chicken pecking around. You have to try ten different things before one finally hits the mark.
Furthermore, my doctor constantly reminds me that medicine, specifically psychiatry, is still a very limited and insufficiently researched field.

Carol Barrett2 said:Honestly, this Risperidone is straight-up poison. I can't believe they haven't pulled it from the shelves yet—I mean, between patient complaints and all the noise online and in the news, you'd think they’d be more careful. Rebecca Rivera3, tell me about it... that's exactly how I've been sleeping lately. I just drift off for ages and then end up pacing around at night like a zombie. It's like some weird Hegelian loop or something. And don't even get me started on the appetite issues; I'm right there with you on that. If I skip a meal, my stomach goes into full revolt because I end up going 14 to 20 hours between eating. It's a mess. I feel like I'm basically stuck in this endless cycle of hospitals and psych wards. When you look like you aren't eating properly, people start assuming you're losing your mind—they hear voices, they hear buzzing, whatever. Honestly, it's probably why those ancient ascetics ended up the way they did—whether it was their wild ideas or their religions—they were just running on empty.

I mean, look, we’ve all been getting hit from every angle lately. I saw what was written earlier about curses and all that mystical stuff—honestly, I don't know anything about any of that. My family has been convinced for the longest time that we’re under some kind of hex or whatever. But if you ask me? I think I might actually *be* the curse, considering I’m a total nutcase—not that anyone's surprised. 😢

Risperidone is genuinely toxic. I was visiting a friend in the hospital when his psychiatrist told him she wouldn't prescribe Risperidone because, in younger men, it causes severe fatigue—basically, it completely crushes you.

Curses don't exist. That's nonsense. You even have university professors who believe in curses and carry chestnuts in their cars for luck. It's superstition. My issue was that I spent four years in a psychosis fueled by curses, voices, and demons. If I hadn't believed in curses, maybe I would have avoided the psychosis, or maybe not. It was inevitable. You can't control it, and you can't be self-aware enough to know you're in a psychosis. Because when you're in a psychosis, everything is real, and there is no other way to perceive it.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Reading through these posts, I see that everyone here has either survived their own personal hell or is fighting through one every single day. It’s truly heartening to come to a place like this where we can all offer support and lean on one another... people who have walked similar paths just seem to understand each other better.
I ended up sleeping the whole day away today; I only woke up about an hour ago.
My diagnosis is simple schizophrenia and schizophrenic disorder. I’ve tried countless medications, but nothing seems to work... it feels futile. Aside from that, I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, though I struggle with skipping meals sometimes and sleeping far too much.
I don't know... I'm just hoping for a new chapter to start soon, where this depression finally ends and whatever comes next begins. The hardest part is feeling like I can't have friends, a boyfriend, or anyone else in my life... because who could ever truly understand this madness?

Hey, have you tried Zeldox? I have personally tried five different antipsychotics—Azolar, Risperdal, Haldol, Moditen, and Zeldox. Zeldox worked best for me. It doesn't cause weight gain, and it supposedly has antidepressant effects as well.

Finding the right medication combination is essential. A friend of mine was hospitalized three times last year. They switched his therapy to Azolar and Aripiprazole, but it failed. They eventually reverted him to his standard regimen of Haldol 5 mg and Seroquel 800 mg, and that keeps him stable. He is working and functioning normally now. Hopefully, he won't face another hospitalization anytime soon.