Posts by Jamie Lewis

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I don't take medication regularly—at least not consistently. Sometimes I'll take them for a couple of days if things get really bad, and sometimes I don't even do that. I'm thinking about the meds... I'll see how it goes. My main struggle is this sense of numbness and passivity, and the pills often just add to that feeling. I'm planning to sign up for an appointment today, and I'll try to speak up about it if I can... though it'll be hard. I'll probably just stare blankly into the distance... trying to look okay and normal... haha... if it's a better day, maybe things will be different and I'll actually talk, and everything will improve.

I went to psychotherapy a few years ago, and my psychiatrist concluded it was useless and unnecessary for me because my thought processes are normal; it's just my personality.

At least you have the drive. You're actually thinking about making things better and taking steps for yourself, and honestly, that's a huge win. 👍

Richard White8 said:Regarding antipsychotics, I started with Azulay (aripiprazole) for a month at up to 30 mg, but I couldn't tolerate it.
Then I switched to Moditen 2 mg for a month. It caused leg stiffness, so they also prescribed me Akineton.
After that, Zeldox was introduced, starting with low doses and eventually reaching a maximum of 2 x 80 mg, along with 1 mg of Moditen.
I stayed on Zeldox, but they discontinued the Moditen and put me on Haldol—2 x 2 mg.
After two or three months of combining Haldol and Zeldox, everything was scrapped because the hallucinations wouldn't stop, so they prescribed Serdolect—which gave me heart palpitations.
We then reverted to Zeldox and Moditen. A few months later, the doctor decided to drop the Moditen because it was too heavy and warned it would cause eye twitching.

Since then, I have been on Zeldox monotherapy. I went from 2 x 80 mg down to 1 x 80 mg, then to 1 x 60 mg, and finally, for six months, 1 x 20 mg. That was the lowest dose.

I haven't taken any since about two months ago.

As for antidepressants, I took Faverin for two months, but it was discontinued because it wasn't helping. Then I took Zoloft for a month, which was also discontinued.

For anxiolytics, I used Xanax SR (extended release) at 1 mg, plus Ativan 0.5 mg.

I also used Prazin—2 x 50 mg—to help with sleep.

Basically, now I only take the lighter ones: Xanax, Prazin, Ativan in the evening, and Diazepam as needed.

Man, that is quite a laundry list of psych meds, you have to admit. But seeing that you're down to the lighter stuff now... it looks like things are actually heading in the right direction.🙂

Richard White8 said:I feel for you. It’s a tough spot to be in. Are you currently on any antipsychotics? My experience was actually the exact opposite. During my psychotic episodes, I became incredibly talkative—almost dangerously so. I would strike up conversations with complete strangers, like approaching tourists out of nowhere and even inviting them back to my place. I never would have done that before this started. However, my schizophrenia hasn't been one-note. There were stretches where I lived in total isolation for two years. I wouldn't see anyone. My schedule was completely flipped; I’d sleep until 8:00 PM, head out for a coffee at 10:00 PM, and then go to bed at 10:00 AM. During those times, I was constantly alone with the voices. The only person I spoke to was my grandmother over the phone. Then, I’d hit a phase of intense sociability, where I'd approach people in bars or clubs just like I mentioned before—I even made a friend that way. Before getting sick, I was never that outgoing with strangers.

Once I started on high doses of antipsychotics, my drive to talk or engage with anyone just vanished. As the dosage was gradually tapered down, my ability to hold a conversation steadily returned.
A friend of mine has been diagnosed with psychosis and is on massive doses of antipsychotics. It’s made him incredibly quiet. Extremely quiet. We hang out often because I genuinely enjoy his company, but we don't really talk. Most of our time is spent just sitting there in silence, drinking coffee and smoking. I find myself constantly searching for something—anything—to ask him just to get a reaction, and then he’ll give me an answer. On a typical two-hour coffee run, we might actually converse for maybe twenty minutes; the rest of the time is just silence and chain-smoking.

I’ve become so accustomed to quiet coffee dates that sitting through a two-hour conversation feels exhausting now. It's especially draining because my way of communicating has shifted. I no longer fight for every word or feel the need to prove a point just to win an argument. I've become more passive; I simply let others take the lead in the conversation.

Those are all just symptoms of the illness. Personally, I have no regrets about taking those antipsychotics. Even though they left me feeling a bit sluggish, they successfully addressed my primary issues: the hallucinations and delusions.

Are you staying consistent with your medication? I seem to recall you mentioning a while back that you weren't interested in taking anything. Is that really a wise move? For me, the treatment has been effective. I have a friend who stays completely stable on his regimen; he’s actually making great progress with his PhD right now. Without those meds, he wouldn't be able to function or hold down a job at all. Even with them, he's had to deal with five or six hospitalizations, but without the medication, it would be an absolute disaster.

Beyond just medication, you really ought to look into psychotherapy. I'm not entirely sure which specific school of thought would suit your situation best, but it's worth exploring. The biggest downside is having to shell out for private practitioners.

Sorry, but which medications were you on, or are you on now? 😁

Morgan Campbell4 said:Since you've decided to weigh in, I suppose you're one of the more intriguing people I'd actually enjoy having a conversation with in person...

Powered by iPhone 8

Same here, Azzzzz 🙂🙂

From the book 'tell you a story' by Jorge Bucay

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the circus. My favorite part was always the animals. I was particularly drawn to the elephant—which, as I found out later, was also the crowd favorite. During the show, this massive creature would pull off all sorts of tricks with a coin, an incredible display of power and grace from such a giant... But once the performance ended, right before it headed back to its enclosure, the elephant would always be tethered to a tiny little stake driven into the ground, held by a chain attached to just one leg. And I’m talking about a small wooden peg, barely a few inches deep. Even though the chain was thick and heavy-duty, it seemed obvious to me that an animal capable of ripping a whole tree out of the dirt could easily snap that chain and just walk away.
The mystery haunted me.
What was holding him back? Why wouldn't he just run?
Eventually, an adult explained that it was because the elephant had been trained. But I remember thinking, "If he's trained, why bother with the chain?"
I never got a straight answer back then.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized someone was smart enough to figure out the truth:

A circus elephant doesn't run because it has been tied to a similar stake since it was a baby.

I’m convinced that as a little calf, the elephant fought with everything he had to break free. But despite all that effort, he failed, simply because back then, the stake was too strong for him to budge.
I can picture him trying day after day, eventually collapsing in exhaustion, until one day—after a lifetime of miserable attempts—he just accepted his helplessness and surrendered to fate.
That massive, powerful elephant we see under the spotlight doesn't run because he truly believes he can't.
The worst part is that he never even stopped to question that memory...
He never, ever tried to test his strength again...
And honestly, that's us. We’re all a bit like that circus elephant: walking through life tethered to hundreds of little stakes that strip away our freedom. We live our lives convinced that we "can't" do certain things, purely because we tried once a long time ago—back when we were kids—and failed. We did exactly what the elephant did, and that failure became etched into our psyche: "I can't, I can't, and I never will"
be able to.
We grow up carrying that self-imposed label, and because of it, we never even bother trying to break the chain.
Whenever we feel those metaphorical shackles rattling, we glance down at that old stake and think:
"I can't, and I never will."
The only way to find out if you actually can is to try again, with everything you've got... With everything you've got!

Remember Pavlov's classic experiment with dogs: https://sh.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Pavlov 😒

If you can't be bothered to read, just watch the video. Maybe it'll give you a little epiphany, haha.


Words have actual power. Read this carefully. Try to calm down, relax if you need to, take a deep breath, hold it for about three seconds, and then exhale through your mouth. You feeling okay? Good. Now, picture this:

Imagine you're standing in your kitchen holding a lemon you just pulled out of the fridge. To help your imagination along, click these three links in order:

http://www.vjencanja-info.com/images...ika--limun.jpg

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...y8IaRF1tilArzQ

Feel how cold it is in your hand since it's been sitting in the fridge for a few hours
See its textured surface and that bright yellow rind, which fades into green at the tips. Now, give it a little
squeeze to feel its firmness and weight. Bring the lemon up to your nose and smell it. Nothing smells quite like a fresh lemon,
right? Slice it in half and sniff it. The scent is even stronger now, isn't it? Alright, now bite into that lemon and let the juice
flood your mouth. Nothing hits quite like that sharp, sour, zingy lemon flavor.

If you actually visualized what I wrote, your mouth should be watering right now.
That proves that simple words can trigger your salivary glands. If you didn't get there, check out this video:



Do images, imagination, and video content influence our senses and our physical bodies?

There are endless legends regarding the powers of yogis, martial artists, shamans, mystics, and other figures who exist beyond the realm of scientific materialism. Some are clearly just products of what an Englishman would call wishful thinking—seeing things that aren't actually there—but others have been demonstrated before large groups of people under controlled conditions. In India, very few people doubt that a certain Yogi Rao actually consumed 100 grams of sulfuric acid in front of a temple without showing any sign of pain, nausea, or anything else that would suggest such a lethal amount of acid had even touched him.

Read this too:
http://www.4dportal.com/hr/kolumne-d...-vlastitog-uma