Posts by steelharbor8

Why?
Because they're so small-minded that they have to drag you down just to feel a little bit taller...
People who are actually secure in themselves don't feel the need to pull others down. They just naturally feel like they belong, whether they're ahead or right alongside everyone else..
I hope you realize I'm not talking about physical height here, but more about character, spirit, and soul..

Douglas Hernandez63 said:So, I'm 15 and a half, currently a freshman in high school. Around the start of summer, I noticed my memory was getting really bad—and my concentration too. As time went on, I started obsessing over it more and more. I’d try to memorize all these random, unimportant things just to prove to myself that everything was fine, but when I couldn't, I’d go looking for reasons why. It kind of spiraled into me overanalyzing every single thing I do, every move I make, and everything happening around me. I spent way too much time Googling stuff, and honestly, seeing all those explanations—ranging from just being stressed out to extreme stuff like mental illnesses—just made me feel way more overwhelmed. A few months ago, I decided I needed to check if I was actually okay or if this was somehow tied to my intelligence. I went through the whole process: I had a CT scan and an MRI of my brain, and the results were totally clear. I also took some intelligence and IQ tests; my IQ was somewhere around 130 or 135, I don't remember exactly (is that even a normal score?), and regarding the general intelligence test, I mostly just realized I have decent motor skills and stuff like that... I guess that gave me a little peace of mind that physically I'm fine, but even though I've pushed aside the idea that I have a serious mental illness, my overthinking is just getting worse and worse. For example, if someone asks me a question and I give an automatic "yes" or "no," I'll end up ruminating later about how I answered without thinking—even if my answer would have been the same if I *had* thought about it. Or, like, why do I think the way I think? Or when I'm just relaxing and watching TV, not thinking about anything at all, and suddenly I start overanalyzing, and then I wonder how I can even remember what happened in the movie if I wasn't consciously focusing on it while I was watching. All of this is starting to mess with my schoolwork because while I'm studying, I'm too busy thinking about *how* to remember, and my grades have absolutely tanked. So, I guess I'm wondering: is this just a normal phase of growing up, or am I crossing a line into something more extreme? Should I be doing something specific about this? I'm not sure if it matters, but I hit puberty pretty early. I've always felt a bit more mature than most kids my age; I was already hitting growth spurts in 4th grade, and by 6th grade, I was already fully hairy and had started shaving. Thanks 🙂

Maybe try finding a girlfriend soon; you might stop overthinking everything and focus less on yourself.
It’s very likely you're just dealing with a testosterone surge you aren't quite prepared for yet, so it's showing up as these weird mental fog moments.
A lot of guys go through this. Instead of chalking it up to hormones, maybe try channeling that energy into philosophy, deep analysis, or just staying curious about things.
Or hey, maybe I'm totally off base.

silentbadger22 said:Well, I am in a relationship, and I can tell you for certain that being in love has completely transformed me, so I'm definitely not that same kind of jerk anymore.
To be honest, nobody has ever treated me that way before, but I lost quite a few people my own age along the way, and those losses really took a toll on my inner core. That said, I don't hold myself responsible for any of it, nor do I carry any guilt toward anyone, regardless of the circumstances.
I have absolutely no intention of losing my friend because we are perfectly in sync on everything—from our taste in music and movies to our general outlook on life—it's just that I happened to act that way toward him...
I'm not working at the moment since I'm still in college, but I'm using my brother's account to post here, and yes, I'm a Dalmatian.😁

It sounds like you aren't actually worried about your friend's well-being, but more about what you'd be missing out on if they were gone...
Finding someone who shares all your views *and* is fun to mess around with 🤣 🤣
is pretty tough luck.

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

There is no coming back. At least, not for me.
You mentioned above that she seems to be repenting and checking in, but have you considered that you might just be projecting? Maybe you're assuming she feels remorse simply because that's how you would feel if you had stabbed someone in the back the way she did to you.
I firmly believe in shady people. Being underhanded is just part of being dishonest. The fact that she’s full of envy and trauma, making her emotionally ambivalent toward you (because you aren't like her), is just more reason to keep her at a distance.
With "wonderful" friends like that, people end up with enemies instead of 🤷 🤣

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

Trying to see things from your perspective, I think you might be overanalyzing this and twisting it to fit what you want to believe.
Someone who actually made a mistake will admit it to you, to themselves, and to others (maybe not perfectly, but they'll admit it). They wouldn't act in a way that makes you look like the "weird one" just to cover their own malicious intentions.
This person likely wants something from you or is just trying to stir the pot while denying any wrongdoing of their own.

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

You're getting all emotional over some tragic dream about a woman jumping out a window. Honestly, just ask Jesus what this jerk asking all these questions is actually after... that's where the real mess is.😉

I don't see any sign of remorse here—let alone actual repentance. If she did something wrong to you, you both know it. She's just denying it, and then claiming you're "uncommunicative" as if that's somehow your fault. It's a classic deflection.🙄

It's probably a waste of breath to keep discussing this.

That guy is super young, probably a Dalmatian.
Games, phones, laptops...
(honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if his birth year is tucked right into his username 🙂 )
I doubt someone like him would ever want to work for anyone else besides himself.

First thing that comes to mind? A vampire. They’ve got to feed, obviously, but they have to be careful not to overdo it and lose the victim. 🤣
When a "victim" finally decides to stand up for themselves, they usually start thinking about cutting back on the supply just so they don't lose everything for good.

frozencobra61 said:You clearly have this deep-seated need to be in control, and honestly, it seems like your friend is just stepping aside and letting you take the lead every single time. If he actually stood his ground once in a while or called you out on your behavior just like you do to him, I truly believe you’d either find a sense of peace together or you'd just clash and head your separate ways, though I suspect you'd probably just go looking for a new "target" down the road. You really ought to reconsider this friendship entirely, because if it truly mattered to you, I’m convinced you would have made an effort to change your ways by now, since a genuine, high-quality connection can only exist when both people are willing to meet in the middle.
It's entirely possible that this all stems from something in your past, because nobody just wakes up one day and decides to act this way without some history behind it. 🤷

Vampires just love their victims. 🙂 They only seem to respect people who think exactly like they do.

frozencobra61 said:You clearly have this deep-seated need to be in control, and honestly, it seems like your friend is just stepping aside and letting you take the lead every single time. If he actually stood his ground once in a while or called you out on your behavior just like you do to him, I truly believe you’d either find a sense of peace together or you'd just clash and head your separate ways, though I suspect you'd probably just go looking for a new "target" down the road. You really ought to reconsider this friendship entirely, because if it truly mattered to you, I’m convinced you would have made an effort to change your ways by now, since a genuine, high-quality connection can only exist when both people are willing to meet in the middle.
It's entirely possible that this all stems from something in your past, because nobody just wakes up one day and decides to act this way without some history behind it. 🤷

Maybe he just sucked some life out of it. 🤣
I’ve always been fascinated by this question: why do some people have such an intense urge to exploit others? It’s like they see themselves as the center of the universe—some kind of dark sun—while everyone else is just a tool waiting to be used.
Honestly, it’s actually a pretty solid strategy for building strength and just staying resilient.
I have to admit, I’m also a bit of a people pleaser—I tend to let others take advantage of me if they make it easy enough.

silentbadger22 said:Hmm, I'm not entirely sure. If I had to say, the only thing my best friend is truly better at than me is physical strength, and he’s the first person to admit that himself! Honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit since I’ve got plenty of my own strength to rely on. Personality-wise, he is my complete polar opposite, though I honestly couldn't tell you exactly why that is. No one in my family is anything like him. As for being hurt, I wouldn't say I've ever been wounded like that, though I did have a few close friends move across the country to start new lives, which was definitely tough to deal with at the time, but I moved past that ages ago.

What made that so tough for you?

silentbadger22 said:Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a situation right now that is honestly eating me alive. I’m facing the very real possibility of losing my best friend because he thinks I’m just straight-up trash. To be blunt, I struggle with this uncontrollable streak of arrogance, conceit, and being incredibly full of myself. It truly feels like there are two different people living inside my body—the good version and the bad version. My better half knows perfectly well that I’m not the smartest, the best-looking, or even particularly special, but the second I step out into a crowd, that "dark side" takes over and I turn into exactly what my buddy calls a jerk. I desperately want to tone down the rudeness, but I just can't seem to get a grip on it. An insult will just slip out, or I'll start bragging about myself, and at the same time, it feels incredibly awkward to constantly apologize for every single stupid thing I say. I’ve actually tried playing the part of the polite, decent guy a few times, but my friends tell me it looks totally fake and forced. I really don't want to lose this guy because we've known each other since we were kids. On top of all that, I’m incredibly selfish—like, even when I have my own pack of Marlboros, I still find myself asking someone else for a smoke. Any advice? Please help!

He should definitely apologize for the insults, but there’s no need to say thanks for the compliments.
What kind of person doesn't always think the absolute best of themselves?
At the end of the day, you’re living for yourself and you’re dying by yourself. So really, how can you possibly love, value, or respect anyone else more than you respect yourself?
People are all over the map. You might try to take a jab at someone, and they’ll just laugh it off, fire a witty comeback your way, and move on without a second thought.
Then you’ve got those totally insecure types where even a whole team of therapists couldn't fix their issues.

Honestly, if someone has an inflated ego, you can't really get under their skin. In their mind, you aren't even important enough for your insults to actually matter.
So, what kind of friends are we talking about here, and what kind of insults are you dealing with?

I know enough people like this to fill up an entire small town in the Midwest.
That’s just straight-up narcissism and ego.

silentbadger22 said:Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a situation right now that is honestly eating me alive. I’m facing the very real possibility of losing my best friend because he thinks I’m just straight-up trash. To be blunt, I struggle with this uncontrollable streak of arrogance, conceit, and being incredibly full of myself. It truly feels like there are two different people living inside my body—the good version and the bad version. My better half knows perfectly well that I’m not the smartest, the best-looking, or even particularly special, but the second I step out into a crowd, that "dark side" takes over and I turn into exactly what my buddy calls a jerk. I desperately want to tone down the rudeness, but I just can't seem to get a grip on it. An insult will just slip out, or I'll start bragging about myself, and at the same time, it feels incredibly awkward to constantly apologize for every single stupid thing I say. I’ve actually tried playing the part of the polite, decent guy a few times, but my friends tell me it looks totally fake and forced. I really don't want to lose this guy because we've known each other since we were kids. On top of all that, I’m incredibly selfish—like, even when I have my own pack of Marlboros, I still find myself asking someone else for a smoke. Any advice? Please help!

That cigarette thing is basically just a survival instinct... Mike has a pantry full of beef jerky, cheese, and fruit, but he'll still go out of his way to act hungry just so he can bug a neighbor for a bite. It's how he keeps himself feeling superior—like he's always one step ahead while everyone else is struggling.
Whether you're bumming a smoke or if Mike is raiding the fridge, it's all about avoiding being at a disadvantage. If you use your own stuff, you're "losing" something, which gives someone else the chance to come out on top...

It’s that "I'll survive even if everyone else dies" mentality, just applied to different things. Whether it's food or smoking, the psychological trigger is identical.
Some people have such a fierce drive to survive that they'll steamroll over anyone in their path, even the people they claim to love.