To explain or not to explain? How much is too much?
in Psychology ·
Here’s my approach to handling things.
I tend to be pretty blunt about what I actually think, without getting bogged down in a bunch of unnecessary explanations. I just get straight to the point... and if they try to keep digging or pick at the subject after that, I just let them know I'm done with the conversation...
In your situation, it might sound something like this:
-Look, he isn't actually that big of a deal. Maybe he's slightly more significant than you're making him out to be, but honestly, I hadn't even noticed until you mentioned it.
-You don't exactly have a clear picture of my income or my monthly expenses, so you shouldn't really be drawing those kinds of conclusions.
-When people act like they're experts—like that guy who thinks he knows everything about grammar—I'll ask them a specific question about the field, and half the time, they realize they don't actually have anything meaningful to contribute...
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter exactly which words you choose; what matters is signaling that you aren't buying their version of reality (if they were targeting you) or simply stating your take on the issue before making it clear that the discussion has reached its natural end...
And somehow, you'll find decent friends. How on earth did you end up surrounded by nothing but people like this, Douglas Gray8?
There are billions of people out there, so you can set whatever standards you want and still find plenty of solid people who actually fit your vibe...
I tend to be pretty blunt about what I actually think, without getting bogged down in a bunch of unnecessary explanations. I just get straight to the point... and if they try to keep digging or pick at the subject after that, I just let them know I'm done with the conversation...
In your situation, it might sound something like this:
-Look, he isn't actually that big of a deal. Maybe he's slightly more significant than you're making him out to be, but honestly, I hadn't even noticed until you mentioned it.
-You don't exactly have a clear picture of my income or my monthly expenses, so you shouldn't really be drawing those kinds of conclusions.
-When people act like they're experts—like that guy who thinks he knows everything about grammar—I'll ask them a specific question about the field, and half the time, they realize they don't actually have anything meaningful to contribute...
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter exactly which words you choose; what matters is signaling that you aren't buying their version of reality (if they were targeting you) or simply stating your take on the issue before making it clear that the discussion has reached its natural end...
And somehow, you'll find decent friends. How on earth did you end up surrounded by nothing but people like this, Douglas Gray8?
There are billions of people out there, so you can set whatever standards you want and still find plenty of solid people who actually fit your vibe...