Posts by Anthony Gray

Kimberly Robinson2 said:You actually reminded me of something....😁
You aren't alone in this—I almost always have something to ask or a critique to make, while everyone else just sits there in silence.

I remember back when my oldest was about three or four, during a parent meeting. I made this plea—basically an appeal to all the parents whose kids walk down our street (there’s a shop at both ends, including one right by the school)—asking them that if they were going to buy sweets, please don't leave the trash lying around the street or in our yards. I was dealing with piles of litter in my yard every single day. Everyone just sat there, stone-faced, until after I thanked them for their attention, the teacher cut me off and said: "This isn't the time or the place for this!" 😲
Then, the very next day, one mom pulls me aside and tells me she’d be too embarrassed to say something like that in public, and asks if it’s really that hard for me to just pick up the trash myself. So, I told her straight: If you and all the other parents had actually raised your kids not to litter, I wouldn't have anything to pick up—and frankly, I wouldn't even feel the need to make a public scene about it! She went dead silent.

The takeaway here: the school system is failing if basic decency is a taboo subject. And parenting is failing if parents get offended when someone points out their "little angels" are acting out.

Here's another one: Just a few weeks ago, during a massive parent meeting for all the third graders to discuss the upcoming spring break trip, they presented the itinerary—specifically the total cost per kid. Blah blah blah... I finally raise my hand and ask if they have any hotel brochures or flyers so we can actually see what we're paying for. They say, "No, we don't." Fine, I ask, can you at least give us the name of the hotel so we can Google the rooms and the accommodations? They tell me, "Oh, we haven't decided which hotel we're using yet!" 😲 So I asked: then how on earth do you know the exact price????🤷
She started stammering through some nonsense that even God couldn't make sense of.... We found out the name of the hotel about three days later.☕

***

Anyway, back ON topic:

I let my kid $7.00 handle handing the cash to his teacher tomorrow morning. After thinking about it, I came to a conclusion: if he was capable of taking the money, if he was capable of eating the treats, and if he was the one asking for them, then he can be the one to deliver them and bring the change back. It'll serve as a good lesson that nothing in life is free.

(Though, knowing my luck, I might get a call from the principal tomorrow for a little chat...🤣)

If you ask me, you should have just gone to the school yourself to talk to the teacher—ask her nicely, or maybe give her a little heads-up, to actually notify parents about planned activities ahead of time next time. As it stands, you haven't really achieved anything here; you've just let the whole situation spiral in the wrong direction.

winnerica thinks that if the kid truly understood the concept of "no" and "not happening," he wouldn't have taken the cash in the first place—because he'd know Mom isn't going to cough up even that measly twenty bucks.

Jamie Hill18 said:So, I guess all those school field trips during the year really need to be officially listed in the annual curriculum and program that gets approved right at the start of the school year, and they definitely have to have a legitimate educational purpose or some kind of reason behind them, especially if they're organizing trips outside of our local town. If anything were to happen while the kids are out on one of those trips, the school basically needs to have total coverage explaining why they went and where they were headed, because if a trip isn't part of the official yearly program and teachers decide to take students along anyway, the school could end up facing some seriously massive legal trouble or sanctions.
I mean, just so we don't get too carried away with the rules, since sales have started popping up all over Chicago, you might have some teachers from the rural outskirts using parent money to refresh their wardrobes or maybe pick up some Christmas presents for under the tree.

This is honestly beyond rude. Oh, sure, I am just sitting here dying to have the responsibility of twenty-plus kids on my hands just so I can squeeze in some retail therapy. It is truly mind-boggling how some people operate.
If you aren't feeling it, then don't send your kid on the field trip—especially when they won't actually see anything meaningful because the teacher is basically just using the outing as a cover for a shopping spree.

redpilot37 said:Did she clear it with the mother first? Did the mother give the okay? No.
It’s just a straight-up misunderstanding that puts the mom in an awkward spot. It’s not about $7.00... it's not about who paid more... it's about the process.
The teacher is supposed to walk parents through the plan so they can weigh in.
Now that everything has already happened... the best move is to refund the money and ask the teacher to actually communicate next time if there's a plan in place. Honestly, she should be doing that anyway—standard school protocol—because not all kids are the same and they don't tell their parents everything.

That was just my response to your question regarding why McDonald's specifically—there wasn't any other reason. And look, I completely agree with you; a teacher absolutely has an obligation to loop parents in well ahead of time.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Don't go hard on the teacher... she was actually being pretty human about it. I seriously doubt she had any bad intentions here.
If this were some heartless person, they wouldn't care at all about seeing one kid sitting there unable to eat with their friends. It’s not even about the food itself; it’s just basic social interaction.
It’s honestly a heartbreaking scene—twenty kids eating lunch while one child just sits there watching them.
I don't get why people don't see that.
I'm guessing it's just a lack of emotional intelligence.

Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't care less about checking with parents in a situation like this.
Sure, it’s not ideal to bring up Mekić after everything has already been settled... but in that specific moment, when a kid is basically being socially exiled from the whole group... parent agreements don't even matter anymore.
Unless the kid has an allergy or some chronic illness that makes McDonald's off-limits, I'd make sure they got their Happy Meal, period.

And I'm betting that "Tell your mom to pay me back" line
was just said totally haphazardly...
Dealing with money—whether you're giving it or lending it—is always awkward. You end up saying whatever comes to mind just to kill the uncomfortable silence.
Like:
-I'll pay you back.
-Yeah. Okay. (even if you know they probably won't, you just say it to move on).

-Your mom can pay me back.
That was almost certainly an instinctive, brainless reaction.
I highly doubt she's losing sleep over that cash. Because if those $6.75 dollars actually mattered to her, she wouldn't have handed them over in the first place.

I get it, because I've actually found myself in a similar spot before, footing the bill for my kids. And yeah, the whole situation is just sad. The teacher isn't a bad person—if she were, she wouldn't have even noticed that one child wasn't eating with the group at McDonald's. As for the context of the child returning the money, we just don't know. That's why the author really needs to have a direct conversation with the teacher.

Sigurna, the original poster never actually said she was going to go out and "attack" the teacher—nor did I interpret her intentions that way myself.
It’s her right to sit down with the teacher to get the full story and make sure this doesn't happen again. Whether or not she actually has $7.00 isn't really the point here.

redpilot37 and the rest of us with kids always hit up McDonald's whenever we take a field trip to New York City. We don't have one right around here, so the kids want to go; all the parents chip in, they're used to the routine, and everyone is on board with the kids heading there. Honestly, I don't think the McDonald's is what's being debated in this thread—they could have gone anywhere—it's the teacher's conduct that's the real issue.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:Thanks to everyone for the advice and all the support!

The permission slip came home on Friday. It basically said we need to sign off if we’re okay with the kid going on this field trip to NYC—they’re hitting up the museum= $5.00, taking the bus= $8.25, and riding the cable car=$1.75.
As for MC, there wasn't a single word about it.
Then, just yesterday, he finally drags out this tiny little sticker—actually, it was a sticker with "McD's" scribbled on it. He didn't even show me until late last night when she got back from the grocery store. She bought him three rolls and packed them for him (he brought two back), plus a bag of pretzels (which he returned unopened) and a bottle of water. Since they left at 9 and weren't back until after 3, it should have been plenty, especially since I know how much he eats—like a little mouse—and they even got a clip on the bus when they left.

He didn't ask anyone for money. I just asked him about it. When she asked him why he hadn't ordered anything, he told her he didn't have any cash, so she took him aside and gave him some money. She even told him right then to let me know how she can pay me back. And she knew perfectly well he had food.

Honestly, you should probably just go talk to the teacher directly and hash it out. As for whether you should pay her back or not... I really don't know what to tell you.
Maybe her intentions were pure, even if the way she went about it was a little clumsy.

Look, I’m a teacher, and honestly, there have been several times where I’ve just gone ahead and bought my students an ice cream or something similar when their parents hadn't sent any money—it’s purely because I can't bear to watch one kid sitting there staring at everyone else enjoying a treat while they have nothing. My heart just breaks for them. The parents never reimbursed me (not that I ever expected them to, given how some of them are), but I never once asked the child to pay me back; what I gave was simply my own goodwill.

In my opinion, it’s really not right that you only found out about this the day before. I always make sure to keep my parents in the loop about everything days in advance—she probably had Chicago on her mind when she was planning this field trip. Now, I can't say for certain if your child knew and just didn't tell you, or if the fault lies with the teacher for waiting so long to mention it.

feralmoose4 said:That didn't happen to me personally, but you're absolutely right.

Just head over to the school and lay it out for her—explain clearly that this wasn't the arrangement you made for the kid.

Don't hold back, and don't feel like you need to sugarcoat anything.

And yeah, $7.00 some people really do overthink every single penny before they spend it. Feel free to tell her that straight up.

She might have had good intentions, but the execution was a total miss.

The teacher isn't actually to blame here. This seems more like a breakdown in communication between the child and the mother, and the teacher might have been completely in the dark. You could have called the teacher and let her know that you'd already packed food and that he wouldn't be eating at Chicago. Perhaps the child never even mentioned having a sandwich, so the teacher just stepped in and bought that Happy Meal. As for her asking for the money back 🤷—well, personally, I wouldn't dream of it, but I suppose everyone handles things differently.

Can anyone tell me how many days an electronic referral stays valid?

Also, will it automatically show up at the lab I usually visit through my primary care doctor, even if it was actually issued by my gynecologist?