Elementary school teachers

I honestly don't even know where to start. It’s a long story, and I won't get into everything, but if I'm going to explain this, I have to give some context. I'm a single mom, currently renting, and out of work at the moment while I hunt for something new. I'm living with my boyfriend, but it feels pretty temporary—we're in a total financial coma right now. My kid is technically off the hook for kitchen expenses, but things are tight. We just moved to a new place in a different city, which was a whirlwind. My kid had to switch schools, too.

Here's the second part: the class is constantly going on field trips. The teacher knows my situation. I reached out to social services, but nothing has come through yet. Making the call on the outdoor school trip was brutal—they're heading to the coast in May. It costs over $433 and lasts five days. Since the whole class is going, I figured, fine, I'll sign her up, and maybe I can scrape together those extra $67 somehow to cover the installment.

Then today, they went to a museum in Chicago (we aren't locals here). Total cost was $15. I had to sign waivers for the trip, the museum visit, and the zoo. So, I signed them and paid.
Then I find out yesterday that they're planning to hit McDonald's, too. 🙂
And she actually went ahead and ate there.

What really gets me is how they didn't even ask for parental permission for that! I mean, shouldn't they be asking parents before feeding ten-year-olds?

So I told my kid, "Look, I made you some sandwiches, but I don't have any money for McDonald's. We're in a bit of a crisis right now." Between the utilities and the rent coming due... it's just what it is. I told her, "Maybe next time."

Then the kid walks in the door and says, "I already ate!" 😲
The teacher gave her $10!
And then she tells her to pay her back tomorrow! 😲

I am absolutely floored.
And apparently, they're going to the movies tomorrow, so now I need cash for that, too...😢
Though, as I realized, the teacher gave her change back, so she's actually down $7.00 for the Happy Meal.

I realize it isn't a massive amount of $7.00, but it's the principle—it shocked me that she's essentially asking me for money now. (When I actually had funds, I was always buying gifts and never asked for a dime back). I know that doesn't change the current reality, but what am I supposed to do? I can't keep begging my boyfriend for money for my child, especially since he's tapped out too. He's barely making it until payday.

Is this okay?

Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

That didn't happen to me personally, but you're absolutely right.

Just head over to the school and lay it out for her—explain clearly that this wasn't the arrangement you made for the kid.

Don't hold back, and don't feel like you need to sugarcoat anything.

And yeah, $7.00 some people really do overthink every single penny before they spend it. Feel free to tell her that straight up.

She might have had good intentions, but the execution was a total miss.

I work in education, so here is my take on the situation.

I probably wouldn't go as far as demanding a refund for my kid, but I’d definitely buy him a sandwich if he was sitting there while everyone else ate. It feels wrong to let him just watch the other kids eat 🤷

Now, regarding why your teacher asked for money... maybe she was just being formal about it compared to the rest of the class? Like, trying to make sure it didn't look like she was playing favorites by treating him differently than the others

Of course the teacher was out of line. First off, she should have coordinated the entire trip plan with the parents, covering every single detail—including the budget.
You packed food for your kid, so they weren't left without anything. Her decision to have everyone eat at McDonald's should have been cleared with the parents beforehand.
Your child wasn't hungry on this trip, and her choice to just hand them cash so they could "fit in" with the group wasn't smart. Honestly, it was pretty humiliating for both your kid and you as a parent.
If I were you, I’d head down to the school tomorrow and demand an explanation. Where does she get the right to override your decisions on what your child eats? And where does she get the right to give them money? She needs to pay that back.
In any case, don't just send money through the kid and let this slide. If you stay quiet now, the next time might be even worse.

rowdylynx38 said:I work in education, so here is my take on the situation.

I probably wouldn't go as far as demanding a refund for my kid, but I’d definitely buy him a sandwich if he was sitting there while everyone else ate. It feels wrong to let him just watch the other kids eat 🤷

Now, regarding why your teacher asked for money... maybe she was just being formal about it compared to the rest of the class? Like, trying to make sure it didn't look like she was playing favorites by treating him differently than the others

The kid had food because his mom packed him a lunch. So, the teacher is basically implying he needs charity if he can't afford McDonald's.

urbanpilot said:The kid had food because his mom packed him a lunch. So, the teacher is basically implying he needs charity if he can't afford McDonald's.

Exactly.

Even if her intentions were good—which is debatable—she really should have considered the underlying message she was sending. She's an educator, after all.

Wait, you mean a McDonald's? 🙄 Is it actually standard practice—taking kids on a field trip and then just dropping them off at some random restaurant or fast food joint?

I work in the school system...
A McDonald's order like that should have been cleared with the parents first...
There’s a chance the kid just cornered the teacher to ask for a favor...
She could've just talked to the restaurant directly; they're usually pretty cool about working out a free meal deal if you ask right...
You should definitely sit down and have a real talk with the teacher...
Look, we're all human and we all mess up sometimes...
I'm sure she wasn't trying to do anything shady...

feralmoose4 said:Wait, you mean a McDonald's? 🙄 Is it actually standard practice—taking kids on a field trip and then just dropping them off at some random restaurant or fast food joint?

Honestly, it usually ends up being McDonald's anyway...
especially when those kids come from small towns where there isn't one in sight...
they live for that junk food...every single time I've tried to introduce a healthier alternative, I've ended up with full plates and hungry kids...
and look, when you're picking between two evils, you pick the lesser one—I'd much rather deal with that than have them scavenging for processed deli meat halfway through a bus ride or an excursion...☕

Lawrence Hughes66 said:I work in the school system...
A McDonald's order like that should have been cleared with the parents first...
There’s a chance the kid just cornered the teacher to ask for a favor...
She could've just talked to the restaurant directly; they're usually pretty cool about working out a free meal deal if you ask right...
You should definitely sit down and have a real talk with the teacher...
Look, we're all human and we all mess up sometimes...
I'm sure she wasn't trying to do anything shady...

I agree🙂
I get why the mom is pissed. Dealing with your own financial struggles is hard enough without having to scramble for extra cash for something that wasn't even planned... (and certainly wasn't part of the standard elementary school curriculum... MC😕)
She could have negotiated a freebie or just covered the kid herself without involving loans...
The way it happened just put you in a corner...

If I were in that spot and couldn't afford what was being asked, I probably wouldn't have sent my kid to school that day.
I'd feel exactly the same way.

So, does Chicago actually pay teachers just for bringing in new customers?

It’s really a bit of a double-edged sword, isn't it? On one hand, she definitely missed the mark right out of the gate by not being totally transparent with the parents about the trip details—specifically the whole thing about needing cash for those little snacks. Since the kid had already eaten, it sent this pretty skewed message about how money should be handled or what it’s actually for. Then again, there’s that other side of the coin where maybe she just wanted to shield the kid from being picked on, because let’s be honest, kids can be absolute monsters at that age. As for whether she should pay the money back or not, I guess you'll just have to weigh that up and decide for yourself.

Jack Collins58 said:So, does Chicago actually pay teachers just for bringing in new customers?

Nah.

Look, I’m a teacher, and honestly, there have been several times where I’ve just gone ahead and bought my students an ice cream or something similar when their parents hadn't sent any money—it’s purely because I can't bear to watch one kid sitting there staring at everyone else enjoying a treat while they have nothing. My heart just breaks for them. The parents never reimbursed me (not that I ever expected them to, given how some of them are), but I never once asked the child to pay me back; what I gave was simply my own goodwill.

In my opinion, it’s really not right that you only found out about this the day before. I always make sure to keep my parents in the loop about everything days in advance—she probably had Chicago on her mind when she was planning this field trip. Now, I can't say for certain if your child knew and just didn't tell you, or if the fault lies with the teacher for waiting so long to mention it.

feralmoose4 said:That didn't happen to me personally, but you're absolutely right.

Just head over to the school and lay it out for her—explain clearly that this wasn't the arrangement you made for the kid.

Don't hold back, and don't feel like you need to sugarcoat anything.

And yeah, $7.00 some people really do overthink every single penny before they spend it. Feel free to tell her that straight up.

She might have had good intentions, but the execution was a total miss.

The teacher isn't actually to blame here. This seems more like a breakdown in communication between the child and the mother, and the teacher might have been completely in the dark. You could have called the teacher and let her know that you'd already packed food and that he wouldn't be eating at Chicago. Perhaps the child never even mentioned having a sandwich, so the teacher just stepped in and bought that Happy Meal. As for her asking for the money back 🤷—well, personally, I wouldn't dream of it, but I suppose everyone handles things differently.

urbandrifter4 said:It’s really a bit of a double-edged sword, isn't it? On one hand, she definitely missed the mark right out of the gate by not being totally transparent with the parents about the trip details—specifically the whole thing about needing cash for those little snacks. Since the kid had already eaten, it sent this pretty skewed message about how money should be handled or what it’s actually for. Then again, there’s that other side of the coin where maybe she just wanted to shield the kid from being picked on, because let’s be honest, kids can be absolute monsters at that age. As for whether she should pay the money back or not, I guess you'll just have to weigh that up and decide for yourself.

Definitely a double-edged sword.
You need to coordinate with the kid, and honestly, probably the teacher too. That much I can agree on.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and all the support!

The permission slip came home on Friday. It basically said we need to sign off if we’re okay with the kid going on this field trip to NYC—they’re hitting up the museum= $5.00, taking the bus= $8.25, and riding the cable car=$1.75.
As for MC, there wasn't a single word about it.
Then, just yesterday, he finally drags out this tiny little sticker—actually, it was a sticker with "McD's" scribbled on it. He didn't even show me until late last night when she got back from the grocery store. She bought him three rolls and packed them for him (he brought two back), plus a bag of pretzels (which he returned unopened) and a bottle of water. Since they left at 9 and weren't back until after 3, it should have been plenty, especially since I know how much he eats—like a little mouse—and they even got a clip on the bus when they left.

Lawrence Hughes66 said:I work in the school system...
A McDonald's order like that should have been cleared with the parents first...
There’s a chance the kid just cornered the teacher to ask for a favor...
She could've just talked to the restaurant directly; they're usually pretty cool about working out a free meal deal if you ask right...
You should definitely sit down and have a real talk with the teacher...
Look, we're all human and we all mess up sometimes...
I'm sure she wasn't trying to do anything shady...

He didn't ask anyone for money. I just asked him about it. When she asked him why he hadn't ordered anything, he told her he didn't have any cash, so she took him aside and gave him some money. She even told him right then to let me know how she can pay me back. And she knew perfectly well he had food.

Just head down to the school and tell the teacher you packed him some cookies because you didn't realize they were heading to McDonald's right on schedule. Tell her you couldn't give him the cash because you were broke... and honestly, I still am, and probably will be for a little while yet.

If she’s a decent human being, she’ll get it. Seriously, if your heart was in the right place, she shouldn't even be asking for it back $10 from someone who's completely tapped out, especially since he didn't even ask for those $10 in the first place. 🤷 If she doesn't take the hint, just tell her there's no other way and she’ll just have to hang tight until things clear up, because that's really the only option...

Kimberly Robinson2 said:Thanks to everyone for the advice and all the support!

The permission slip came home on Friday. It basically said we need to sign off if we’re okay with the kid going on this field trip to NYC—they’re hitting up the museum= $5.00, taking the bus= $8.25, and riding the cable car=$1.75.
As for MC, there wasn't a single word about it.
Then, just yesterday, he finally drags out this tiny little sticker—actually, it was a sticker with "McD's" scribbled on it. He didn't even show me until late last night when she got back from the grocery store. She bought him three rolls and packed them for him (he brought two back), plus a bag of pretzels (which he returned unopened) and a bottle of water. Since they left at 9 and weren't back until after 3, it should have been plenty, especially since I know how much he eats—like a little mouse—and they even got a clip on the bus when they left.

He didn't ask anyone for money. I just asked him about it. When she asked him why he hadn't ordered anything, he told her he didn't have any cash, so she took him aside and gave him some money. She even told him right then to let me know how she can pay me back. And she knew perfectly well he had food.

Honestly, you should probably just go talk to the teacher directly and hash it out. As for whether you should pay her back or not... I really don't know what to tell you.
Maybe her intentions were pure, even if the way she went about it was a little clumsy.

I’m going to show up. I told my kid to let her know that I'll be there one of these days.

Look, I get it—she’s got three kids in elementary school to worry about, but so do I. And honestly? If I were in her shoes and someone actually had the decency to show some compassion and give me a hand, I wouldn't dream of telling my mom to pay them back. 😢

Kimberly Robinson2 said:I’m going to show up. I told my kid to let her know that I'll be there one of these days.

Look, I get it—she’s got three kids in elementary school to worry about, but so do I. And honestly? If I were in her shoes and someone actually had the decency to show some compassion and give me a hand, I wouldn't dream of telling my mom to pay them back. 😢

I just don't get why they had to go to McDonald's.
And did everyone really have to go during school hours?
Personally, I'd feel awkward if a teacher paid for my kid's sandwich... I wouldn't want to go, honestly.
Plus, if he didn't go, it's not like he'd miss out on anything. It's not like there's some magic healthy food there. He can hang out with his friends anywhere else. It's not like he's missing out on some life-changing McDonald's experience. Where does it even say that's necessary?☕