9 posts shown.
Andrew Price3 said:Try turning those thoughts into a physical act; actually start the suicide attempt you’re imagining. Then see if you truly want it. These thoughts are often just uncertainty—you aren't actually sure if you want to go through with it. Once you move from thought to action, the thought vanishes, and the deed (hopefully a failed one) will clear up the confusion.
Or, there's another way.
Assign a deeper meaning to those suicidal impulses.
Every time a thought like that surfaces, treat it as a signal that you deserve more love, not less. Only innocent, sensitive, and beautiful souls are sacred enough to prefer self-destruction over projecting their own misery, grief, bitterness, or frustration onto others. You don't lash out at the world with your pain... you hold it deep within your integrity... because your heart, Sean Murphy6, is brave enough to destroy itself just to shield this world from your demons.
Tell those thoughts: "Thank you for helping me see which part of me needs more love, not less." Love that martyr who wants to die. Love that angel.
Now, those thoughts aren't just thoughts anymore. They are a message and a calling.
I was just sitting here thinking about this... since I've been struggling with the exact same thing myself.
electricranger16 said:I'm honestly glad 🙂
I used to struggle pretty badly with social anxiety and performance anxiety.
I went through CBT, mindfulness training, and was on Paxil (an antidepressant) for two and a half years.
My takeaway from all that is that you should give others what you feel you're lacking.
Giving brings happiness; receiving doesn't quite hit the same.There’s much more fulfillment in paying attention than in being the center of attention. There's way more peace in listening than in talking. And when I say listening, I mean actually being an active listener. In any group, people can tell who the active listeners are; everyone ends up turning to them because, subconsciously, they know those people are actually hearing them, while most people are just waiting for their turn to speak and then jumping in with their own opinion. You see, when you give attention, it reflects back on you automatically. Everything you put out into the world comes back like a boomerang—it's just some kind of law. It’s like the world is our own mirror; if we spit on it, we're spitting on ourselves. If we kiss it, we're kissing ourselves. When we give the world attention, it's like we're giving it to ourselves...
Next time you're in a larger group, try to get actively involved in the conversation. Just observe everyone while they talk. Once someone finishes, shift your gaze to the next person speaking, let your eyes wander slightly🙂. You’ll find that you start participating spontaneously. It feels almost unconscious, almost natural. You won't even have to overthink what to say. And the attention you get just for being there without saying much? It’s like magic.🙂
Best, 🙂
I wouldn't say I have any major issues with social anxiety or anything like that... but I am trying to work on being a more active listener. I've been seeing a psychoanalyst lately, though honestly, I can't see an end in sight for these sessions. It feels like a pretty endless process, I guess. 😁
I guess I'm just working on beefing up my ego a bit, you know? It feels like if I could just build up enough inner confidence, I might actually be able to be a little more open and approachable toward the world around me. Maybe that’s how it works.
Anyway, I gotta say, this is a pretty interesting post!
electricranger16, man, seriously... this is SO good. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it really hit the spot 😁
Andrew Doyle said:Aren't all these patterns rooted in our childhood? 🤷
The constant attempts to please others, the desperate need to secure something at a specific moment, the entire blueprint we gathered within our primary family unit and then just carried forward into every other relationship we build?
edit: Regarding some of my own patterns—yes, I absolutely have them, and they are certainly worth exporting. However, this entire area of my life has shifted significantly since I started psychotherapy two years ago. I am certainly more self-aware now; I can detect them in the moment and even analyze them, though I think I'm still a long way off from any radical, fundamental changes. Honestly, even reaching this level of awareness means a great deal to me, and I am incredibly proud of myself for making that progress.
I’ve actually noticed behavioral patterns where I’m essentially trying to correct my parents' mistakes—trying to act out the things they weren't capable of doing many years ago. And quite often, the emotions just sweep me away. For a long time, I didn't understand why I reacted the way I did, until I finally realized that as an adult, I am effectively protecting my parents because I couldn't, or didn't know how to, protect them (from themselves and everyone else) back when I was a child.
Oh, there is plenty of that to go around... as Kevin Nguyen3 mentioned, we should probably be writing a lot more right now... and we certainly want to, it's just not all going to happen in one sitting. 🙂
Man, you're really laying it all out there... I guess if I haven't grown past this stuff by now, I might be getting a little old, haha.😍
Kudos to you for bringing this up...
I’ll probably spend the next few years just sitting in my therapist's office dissecting this exact topic. 😁
I definitely have my own patterns too... they've been there since I was a kid, and honestly, they just seem to get more sophisticated as I get older. It’s not like I’m literally running headfirst into a wall anymore, but I’m still hitting something... it's like they become this blueprint because we know them so well. Looking at your examples (even without the car stuff), I totally see myself in there. Every single time I decide to break the cycle, my common sense kicks in, but then it feels like all my inner saboteurs jump in to drag me back into anxiety... mostly because I actually tried to do something outside of my usual routine. It's like being stuck in one of those endless loops where you know it might not even be the right answer, but you just keep spinning anyway.
What a total shallow pool of intellect we're dealing with in our systems... just pure prejudice.
I'm definitely on the same page as fadedbear92
Honestly, I hope everyone gets a big fat f
dustytrucker02 said:I actually intended to start a new thread, but since dustytrucker02 brought it up, I hadn't fully realized the extent to which mental health stigma still dominates the American workforce. Apparently, the trend is actually increasing.
Basically, I was offered a job where the owner requested—and quite frankly, had every right to request—a medical clearance from an occupational health specialist. I naively assumed this would just be a standard physical where you get a basic sign-off, but it turns out that because of my "F-code" diagnosis, I can't get cleared for work. I've approached five different occupational doctors, and they all just redirected me elsewhere, claiming that "oversight on F-diagnoses has been tightened" and that they "don't have the necessary specialists on staff."🤷
As if I'm some medical anomaly that requires an entire board of experts just to study me.
In what way am I unfit for work if I'm managing my condition with regular medication? This feels completely illegal.🙂
Anyone else dealt with this?
Did you end up telling them about your F diagnosis or what?
Andrew Lopez10 said:😢 You think this is permanent? 😕
How long does this phase usually last?
For me, back two years ago, I was in a coma-like state for six months, then everything went back to normal for a year, and now I've been struggling for about three or four months. It feels like these waves just hit me periodically and then everything settles back down, so that's why I'm asking...
I really, really hope it's not permanent.
I used to absolutely love just walking down the street and soaking in all the greenery, those gorgeous sunsets, and whatever else was beautiful. Honestly, these days? I’m just genuinely happy when I can cross the street without spiraling into a total panic, and I’m actually pretty proud of how far I’ve come. Even something as simple as making it to the local bakery felt like such a win 🙂and it just goes on like that forever
It makes me wonder, though—in what other ways are we just constantly being let down? I guess if there were a competition for who struggles more than everyone else, we’d definitely take home the gold. We live in a culture where mental health is basically a taboo subject unless you’re talking to a tiny circle of close friends, and even then, they don't really get it. Maybe we aren't cut out for certain jobs, our energy levels completely tank, or we start noticing hair thinning... eventually, you become a bit of a burden to your own friends. They think you just need to "decide" to be okay and suddenly everything is fixed. Because I care about them, I end up pulling away and saying less and less. And so it goes, indefinitely. During my worst bouts of anxiety, I didn't even have the strength to cook, eat, or just *exist*, which led to this awful cycle of self-loathing because I felt like I wasn't being a "real woman" or a decent mother and all that nonsense🙂
But hey, I guess it could be worse...